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Do you notice when there's "chemistry between two people"?


starry-night-sky

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starry-night-sky

Sometimes my best friends talks about how there's "chemistry between two people" or that it is completely obvious that one person has a crush on another person. I never notice stuff like that. I'm usually not that bad when it comes to other people's feelings, I can notice when someone is sad or angry or whatever but I don't notice this chemistry or that anyone has a crush on someone. Is that just me or do other aces have problems with that, too?

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Anthracite_Impreza

No, but then again my human social skills are lacking...

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Sometimes I can. I err on the side of assuming there isn't chemistry, as it very much bothers me when other people think there's chemistry between me and another person when there's really, really not.

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binary suns

I usually notice that sort of thing. or maybe I compulsively over-notice it.

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I think it's to do with perception rather than sexuality. There's also the "not caring" element to some people :P

I generally do notice, often long before other people notice. I just don't care enough to mention it :D

Also, having chemistry with someone doesn't necessarily mean that there are crushes happening... I have chemistry with a guy at work, but it's because we get on and we have complimentary senses of humour. Neither of us is attracted to the other.

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Sometimes, but only if I know the two well enough, and even then, it seems to be in more of a platonic sense rather than a (not very often) romantic or (extremely rare) sexual one.

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Dodecahedron314

I'm pretty oblivious to that sort of thing, but if they're both working from the same Bunsen burner and Erlenmeyer flasks I can occasionally pick up on it.

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No, I don't pick up on that. I often don't notice such things for years, or until somebody else points it out to me. When I finally do notice, my reaction is usually one of surprise. Of course, I don't pick up well on other people's feelings at all, and I'm not much good with people in general -- so it could be that.

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Yes. I have this freakishly weird ability to pick up on vibes between people, and I've often guessed at stuff when someone thought they were hiding it really well.

Which I find hilarious, because I'm not a people person at all and I'm a bit awkward. I can read people pretty easily, I just suck at interacting with them myself, haha.

The bolded parts describe me so well that I'm unsure if it hurts or if it's hilarious. Hmm.

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DragonflytotheMoon

When it comes to other people, I really only notice it when it's in shows & films. In reality, though I'm observant & a people watcher, I'm not looking for sparks between others. When it comes to myself & someone else, I usually know or have an idea. It's usually been with friends & I've been reluctant to act on it. It's less about being unrequited & more about being unspoken.

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UncommonNonsense

I am *totally* oblivious to chemistry between other people.

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I notice these things all the time. When teenagers act nervous around each other and have crushes. It's cute, young love :)

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Yes. I have this freakishly weird ability to pick up on vibes between people, and I've often guessed at stuff when someone thought they were hiding it really well.

Which I find hilarious, because I'm not a people person at all and I'm a bit awkward. I can read people pretty easily, I just suck at interacting with them myself, haha.

The bolded parts describe me so well that I'm unsure if it hurts or if it's hilarious. Hmm.

Me too. I wish I wasn't able to see it.

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SpeedinThroughSpace

Depends on how exactly 'chemistry' is defined here. I am very good at reading people, I am good at figuring out who gets along well, who could be friends or work together well. I am often very spot on projecting who in a group (like in a class or on a sports team) will become friends. Some of the people I perceive as having chemistry by that definition ("They get along well, they 'click'") have ended up becoming a couple, but I also know couples that have no chemistry I could pick up. So... Well. :unsure:

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ChillaKilla

Depends on what kind of "chemistry". I can sniff out sexual tension like a bloodhound, but romantic stuff? Heck if I know.

is this why I ship finn/poe but not finn/rey *slapped*

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bluedragonwings

I can tell really easily, as long as one of the people involved is not me. Any time I am involved ( I like someone or they like me) there is a complete breakdown of understanding body language and nuances

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SpeedinThroughSpace

I can sniff out sexual tension like a bloodhound

That's a skill I lack altogether. Unless sexual tension is shoved in my face or someone points it out explicitly, I don't see it.

It happens a lot when watching movies or TV series. People say characters A and B have so much tension, and I'm like "Whut?"

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whicheverone

I normally feel like it's forced for me, like it never feels authentic and I have to just make something work for the sake of a healthy relationship

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icouldnotthinkofausername

It really depends. Usually I can only pick up on it if I've gotten a hint to it, or else I'm not looking for it. Usually I'm better at it with fictional characters :D . With my friends I can be really oblivious sometimes. Apparently two of my classmates both liked each other and I never picked up on it, and another time two friends who I introduced started dating and I was clueless.

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I'm pretty bad at picking up on sexual tension. I'm better at it in TV shows and movies and books, but I strongly suspect that it's because the creators of those draw our attention to those things, and occasionally ham it up on top of it. But in real life, I am completely oblivious to whether people have crushes or attraction or whatever. Unless they explicitly tell me and/or ask for advice of some sort related to it. I also am usually rather slow to pick up on whether people are dating or not. Partly because I don't like to assume anything, and assuming people are friends is a safer assumption--but I also think that there's a level of obliviousness. Basically, unless someone refers to someone else as a husband, wife, spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, fiance(e), etc, or I see them kissing in front of me in a way that is clearly not familial or platonic, then my mental image of all relationships is a platonic, asexual, aromantic friendship. I know there are plenty of relationships that don't meet those criteria, but my subconscious doesn't accept that any of my friends are involved in them. (And my conscious mind avoids imagining too much once I do know that there is more).

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It happens a lot when watching movies or TV series. People say characters A and B have so much tension, and I'm like "Whut?"

I'm more like "Why?" :D

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SpeedinThroughSpace

It happens a lot when watching movies or TV series. People say characters A and B have so much tension, and I'm like "Whut?"

I'm more like "Why?" :D

I gave up on "Why?" years ago, and that was long before identifying as ace. :D

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I find it easy when it's in fiction or even between group/band members, not only in therms of romantic and sexual attraction but also in friendships (like it was mentioned, i agree there can be chemistry in them). In the "outside world", i don't really think about how people have chemistry or not, strangely only about how they aesthetically look good close to each other. Usually when i end up noticing it's already obvious to everyone though.

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Yeah, when they start licking each other, clearly chemistry all the way up, or down, depends from which angle you look at it.

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WitchUnicorn

I'm oblivious to two people have chemistry between each other. Like, two of my friends recently went out on a date and I assumed that it was for an assignment or something. I thought it was totally platonic. WOOPS HAHA THEY KISSED. Then again, my people skills are non-existent because even if a guy gave me roses on Valentine's Day wearing a pair of Cupid wings, I'd probably go, "Thanks! So how's the Science project going?"

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Not really.

Unless both of them are already in a relationship with each other then I'll notice their chemistry, but if they aren't in a relationship with each other, their chemistry wouldn't be obvious to me much.

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No, but i may takes notice of the amount of time they spend together whether conciously or subconciously.

Once in highschool there were these two people in my class, one day i sit with them and say: "guys i had a really weird dream last night, you were a couple! and you were so cute!"

they agreed it was weird but not one week later they announced they were an item and had been secretly dating for a month. Everyone was really surprised.

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Only when they're actively making out... which I've had the misfortune to witness... Seriously, even if I'm told two people are going out, while my brain logically knows, I don't really get it until I observe some severe PDA.

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