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Time dedicated to other things


Snao Cone

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For older asexuals, do you think by this point in your life you've been able to dedicate more time to other things that others would've spent on their sex lives?

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My first reaction to reading this question was "Geez, how much time do sexuals actually spend having sex, anyway????" But upon further reflection, I would answer that I spend time on cultivating friendships and non-sexual relationships. I don't know if this has a direct correlation to my being asexual, but staying connected to people is important to me. I also value my time alone, doing whatever it is I want--I did a lot of compromising in my marriage in regards to my interests, but resented it because I didn't feel that it was reciprocated.

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Skycaptain

Probably yes. It's not just the time factor, but financially as well. Not having to support a partner or bring up kids makes a huge difference

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I absolutely do. I most likely never would have pursued my acting and film career had I did the "find a mate for life" thing.

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  • 4 weeks later...

I love it. Not only time, but space (for my spinning wheels), money (if I could only get rid of this house that was "for us for the rest of our lives"), and stress. I can have my animals however I want to train them- of course the cats can eat on the counter, how else do I keep the dog from eating their food? I no longer have to go to the basement if a thunderstorm brews up- I can watch it! I can get up as early in the morning as I want and go to bed when I want. There are no expectations of anything at all. The only drawback is I don't have someone who likes to mow the lawn anymore, and no one to go out to a nice dinner with.

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I know plenty of sexual people who are way more productive than I am. A couple that specifically springs to mind are the same age as me and don't have sex that regularly (they've been close friends of mine for about 25 years, so share openly) but get loads more done than I do because they're the type that like to keep busy, they also have two children. I prefer to spend my time in my head thinking about the world, so don't actually get very much done in real terms.

I doubt that in the long term sexual people lose much time doing sexual things. In adolescence and early 20s this may seem a greater proportion of time as there are less responsibilities and raging hormones are relatively new. Once people get to their 30s and the majority have partnered off and settled down, the priorities of life change significantly.

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