*fingerguns* Posted June 27, 2016 Share Posted June 27, 2016 Ok, so I know you get these a lot, but: I am female and 14. I know I am probably just a late bloomer, but I have never had crushes, felt any sort of attraction, and the furthest I wanna go with anyone is sitting watching a movie. Which I do anyway with friends. Kinda irrelevant? J dunno... sorry. But halp me. I dunno if my lack of sexual attraction is just me being a late bloomer or I dunno. Read my name. I am confused. Also, I will go, oh, that guy has muscles and stuff. Should I think he's hot? Or that woman has really nice eyes. Like, not attraction, but going, well, other ppl might be attracted and I'm not. Hmm. I dunno. Sorry of this was confusing or boring or repetitive... yeah. Cya... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mike_Rophone Posted June 27, 2016 Share Posted June 27, 2016 Ace, maybe. Aro, I'm not aro, so I can't say. I suggest looking through forums until you can comfortably say you're ace. Hope this helps! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
touching-not-so-much Posted June 27, 2016 Share Posted June 27, 2016 Welcome and have some cake! I couldn't begin to help I guess, I only realized this year that I guess I'm asexual. And you're 14. I wasn't really even interested in girls until I was 17 or so I think. I had a couple crushes before that but they were gone and forgotten and so attraction was never even a thing for me, so at 14, I'd have no idea if it's possible to know if it's late bloomer or asexual or something else entirely. But it's survivable! Just get to know people here, like I said, and maybe you'll start getting a better idea, like I did. =) Best to you. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Pi(e) Posted June 27, 2016 Share Posted June 27, 2016 Hi ConfuzzledAboutThis, welcome to AVEN. You could be ace and possibly aro. This site has a lot of information about both that I would recommend reading. Also keep in mind that how you are now is still subject to change, but that does not make you current identity any less valid. I also came here when I was 14 (I'm 15 now), and since then I ended up dating my best friend even though I have yet to understand the whole romantic attraction thing. My point is just, yes you can change and that's fine, or your identity (once you figure it out) might be consistent for much or the rest of your life and that's good too. AVEN is a great place to learn about attraction and yourself (or goats, if you feel like it) without pinning yourself into any boxes. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
One Winged Angel Posted June 27, 2016 Share Posted June 27, 2016 When I was 14, it was not possible to look up things online as easy as it is today, so I had no idea of the word "asexual". However, if I had heard the word or had it explained to me, I would have known instantly that it described me. I too was described as a 'late bloomer' but unlike in your post, I knew immediately that I was NOT a late bloomer and would never 'bloom'. In fact, I felt very much nauseous when someone called me a late bloomer, because in my mind I was saying "what do they know?". All I can suggest is to read these forums if they help you, and study how you feel privately inside your mind. No harm can come from these things, and who knows, one day you might know for sure, but if you don't, it's not big problem anyway. Just love the journey through life, every day and each step of the way! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dissolved Posted June 28, 2016 Share Posted June 28, 2016 At 14, I'd say don't worry about your sexuality. You're in that limbo bit between kid and adult, and you've got a lot to figure out. If the people around you seem to "know" they're heterosexual or whatever, it's because it's the default. People are quick to label themselves when they're still questioning because they don't want to be caught out. Teenagers are self assured, cocky little buggers most of the time. How many teenagers are going to realistically say "I dunno" when you ask them about their sexuality? Do you know what I was doing at your age? I was climbing trees and playing with my friends and really not giving a shit about other people, sex, relationships and all that jazz. If you were 18 or pushing into your 20s, I'd suggest you read all the information you can find on asexuality and give it a lot of consideration before taking the label. But at 14? Go have fun with your friends and get a decent education. If nothing's changed in four or five years time then yeah, by all means come back here. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
El-not-so-ace Posted July 2, 2016 Share Posted July 2, 2016 14 might definitely be a late bloomer, especially if you're a female. Just don't rush on settling for a label and know that some people on here have found "the right one" for them that made them change to labeling themselvesas demisexuals or sexuals. I got there 10 years after (24), so literally anything can happen. Just take it at your pace. :) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Me :) Posted July 2, 2016 Share Posted July 2, 2016 I feel the same way but I'm almost 17- this is how I felt my whole life and I'm pretty sure its not just a faze. My friends all know me as the one who never participates in talks about sexuality and stuff but no one ever made anything of it- everyone always thought I was just uncomfortable and don't like to talk about the topic. I always just never found anything to relate to in the subject. Now I totally have no idea what I am or if it even makes a difference. I don't feel strongly impacted by the whole thing... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DragonflytotheMoon Posted July 6, 2016 Share Posted July 6, 2016 Hello & welcome, Confuzzled. This is an ever evolving journey for many of us. Who knows where you'll end up. Maybe right back with ace or you'll always stay with that. Hope that you enjoy your time here, learn more about yourself & make many new friends. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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