Push Pop the Wolfdog Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 i'm relieved to be asexual because from the time i was 10 years old i thought birth was gross and from the time i was 11 years old i thought sex was horrifically disgusting i'm also relieved to be aromantic because all i see in most rl-life relationships is DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA NEEDLESS DRAMA FOR EVERYONE it just seems so stupid like??? TALK ABOUT YOUR DAMN FEELINGS Link to post Share on other sites
Kai99 Posted June 22, 2016 Share Posted June 22, 2016 Yep. I wasn't at first because I didn't like the idea I that I was "different" in that way. Now, pretty darn happy and wouldn't change it even if I had a button that would make me sexual. I feel that asexuality is a major reason why I am the way I am and if it were to change suddenly I feel like I would be a completely different person. I think that my asexuality makes my life easier. I agree with others about seeing the drama that comes with sex and relationships and just happy I'm not apart of that. While I am a romantic asexual and wouldn't mind being in a relationship, it doesn't bother me one bit that I'm not. I had a girl say one time in middle school that she felt sorry for me that I didn't have a boyfriend, which made me role my eyes because I wasn't looking for one than nor did I ever felt like I had to have one in my life. I am most content going to the library or book store and reading books or creating art or playing with my dog. I'm very glad that I don't experience any sexual attraction nor do I have any inclination of having sex with people that I really like. I've read how annoying it can be to have a strong sexual desire for a person who you can't have or be extremely horny for sex and I'm pretty darn glad that has never happened to me! Link to post Share on other sites
cym Posted June 22, 2016 Share Posted June 22, 2016 it's nice not wanting to get laid because i couldn't get laid if i tried. Link to post Share on other sites
Rosette Posted June 22, 2016 Share Posted June 22, 2016 In some ways, yes. For instance knowing my lack of wanting to do anything sexual is actually something that's normal. I spent quite a while thinking my 'mindset' was just the thing that was incorrect and that perhaps eventually I would want to do such things. Now I know that totally isn't the case. It does create some issues of it's own though, like wanting to stay in a relationship with someone but not really being able to because we both have different feelings upon the topic. One's for and the other's against. So that's difficult to deal with, as well as something similar to that in general; the idea of eventually finding someone else that I may eventually like. Because they might turn out the same as this one and then I'll be back in the same boat. That and sometimes I wonder if I ever will find someone else at all in general. And occasionally I can't help but wonder if perhaps maybe if I wasn't ace if it'd make it easier. But I am and sexual things just aren't important to me. So I have to live with that, and that's okay. Sometimes I just wish I could have been different to make the situation better for now and for situations in the future. In all though, it's just something that I am, and I accept it, even if no one else does. Link to post Share on other sites
Sea Lemon Posted June 22, 2016 Share Posted June 22, 2016 I was kind of relieved to know that I'm not the only one, but I don't know if I'd say I'm 100% happy to be ace. I mean, I am what I am (whatever exactly that is), and I'm not unhappy about it (and I did find a bunch of really great friends in the community, which is lovely), but it does also make finding a partner vanishingly unlikely, which I'll admit does make me kind of sad sometimes. So I'm on the fence :P Link to post Share on other sites
Dolphelecat Posted June 23, 2016 Share Posted June 23, 2016 I'm really happy to be ace! Before I found out what asexuality was, I spent a lot of time trying to force myself to feel sexually attracted to people. Usually it just gave me a headache and some nausea. :( Realizing that I was ace was an enormous relief. I felt like I didn't have to try to be something I'm not. And now I don't really care to be like "everyone else" and experience sexual attraction. It's a lot more fun to just relax and not worry about any of it! Link to post Share on other sites
SquidKen Posted June 23, 2016 Share Posted June 23, 2016 No, I wish I wasn't ace. I feel as though I'm missing something amazing and great and ruining relationships that would have been just fine if I were okay with having sex. I feel like I'm missing something very basic and overall good. I'm happy to know I'm not alone and that asexuality is a real thing, so I no longer view how I feel as me being broken. But even though I'm happy to know I'm not alone, I am not happy about being ace. Link to post Share on other sites
starry-night-sky Posted June 23, 2016 Share Posted June 23, 2016 Yes, I'm kinda happy. At the beginning of questioning my sexuality I really didn't want to be asexual but now I'm okay with it. That's just how I am, I have always been this way and I can't picture it any differently. I even feel like sexual attraction or desire would be annoying to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 23, 2016 Share Posted June 23, 2016 it's nice not wanting to get laid because i couldn't get laid if i tried. Actually, I know for certain there would definitely have been a few gals (not scores and scores, but a small handful) willing to "go for it" with me by now in my life, despite me being in a galaxy far, far away from a stud or an underpants model; one of them was with me for over six years. But having sex with them would still be utterly gross to me, even if I wasn't ace... so I wouldn't be able to bring myself to do it. Not being ace would just bring frustration. Link to post Share on other sites
ben8884 Posted June 23, 2016 Share Posted June 23, 2016 Kinda yeah. I dunno if I was "relieved" exactly but the more I learned about asexuality and the more I looked at myself and my own "asexual moments" I just kinda thought "hmm, makes sense." That being said I am perfectly happy with my asexuality and happy that those asexual moments make more sense. Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpy Alien Posted June 23, 2016 Share Posted June 23, 2016 No! I'd rather be sexual. It'd be easier. So much easier. Link to post Share on other sites
divided_sky Posted June 23, 2016 Share Posted June 23, 2016 No! I'd rather be sexual. It'd be easier. So much easier. That's how I'm beginning to feel as well. Link to post Share on other sites
TimberWolfPrime Posted June 24, 2016 Share Posted June 24, 2016 I am relived to now know why I feel the way I do and why I never felt interested in sexual activities. I thought that I just had to find the right person and then my thoughts would change and that I might get "fixed". I'm so glad that to learn that there is nothing wrong with me and that I'm not broken in some way. I'm glad to know that there are others who feel the way I do because I thought I was alone for so long. Link to post Share on other sites
StasiaOB Posted June 24, 2016 Share Posted June 24, 2016 I was relieved to find that there was a name for what I was experiencing and that I wasn't alone but like Squid said...I feel like I'm missing out on something and still feel like it would be so much easier if I were sexual b/c I do want to be in a relationship and it's extremely difficult finding someone. Link to post Share on other sites
Tybalt Posted June 24, 2016 Share Posted June 24, 2016 I've always liked what I used to think was just a lack of a sex drive. Learning that it was a real sexual orientation, was a huge relief, and I've been going from soft denial to actual acceptance of my own orientation for the last year or so. I think, one day, I might even get comfortable with who I am as a person. Link to post Share on other sites
Ryoko Posted June 26, 2016 Share Posted June 26, 2016 In a way, yes, I think it's easier because of the many relationship problems I see around me. Mainly, by not having kids, I feel I can continue experiencing life through my prime years rather than waiting until they're 18 and out and I can return to my hobbies again. This also saves me a ton of money. Unfortunately, the downside keeps me falling back into depression. Link to post Share on other sites
intotheAlligatorSky Posted June 26, 2016 Share Posted June 26, 2016 The thing I feel relieved about is that I don't have to have sex. I was always so worried about that although I'm not sex repulsed. But I wish I was what society calls "normal" because it would make meeting and dating people SO much easier. I've never been in a relationship but I believe it must be quite hard to come out to a potential partner that is sexual. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Jetsun Milarepa Posted June 26, 2016 Share Posted June 26, 2016 I agree with almost everyone here. Very happy to be asexual. The only relationships I've tried have always been fraught with drama and ended in tears, In the past I've watched friends have their lives limited by claustrophobic relationships and if I had a penny for everybody I've worked with who have sidled up to me in the night wishing they were like me when their relationships have gone sour..... The rule in my book is to keep it simple. Link to post Share on other sites
LadyRadiance Posted June 26, 2016 Share Posted June 26, 2016 I'm cool with being ace, people do stupid things when they're in love and society is way too focused on sex. I don't know if I'm capable of love, or sexual attraction, but I don't consider it big deal. I'm not the type to search for intimate relationships anyway, so being ace just makes things easier for me. Link to post Share on other sites
BreeZaps Posted June 27, 2016 Share Posted June 27, 2016 It explains a ton, and why I never saw someone as "sexy" I never even knew sexual attraction exist until I stumbled upon asexually. I just thought. "Love is love" and that sex came as a packaged deal. I never wanted to get a boyfriend because I was scared of sex. There was something... strange about sex. I never want to see a mans private parts. That just seems scary. And even if I really love someone I never want them to touch me. Ever. That is the most scary part. Someone touching me. >.< I just hate anything to do with dirty talk as well. So am I happy to be asexual? Fuck yes I am. Now I am no longer scared about getting a boyfriend. (I would only date someone if I get to know them well.) Now I know I can be in a relationship without sex. Link to post Share on other sites
gothsoul Posted June 27, 2016 Share Posted June 27, 2016 I have felt relieved alot because I've saved so much grief. But then I fell in love long distance and am feeling the grief and drama anyway, just not in a sexual way. So I'm not sure. Link to post Share on other sites
El-not-so-ace Posted June 27, 2016 Share Posted June 27, 2016 Yeah, what gothsoul said. I feel like a romantic asexual still would have the potential for drama or sadness because they still desire relationships. And some asexuals desire having kids, some sexuals don't. It's such a varied life. :) Link to post Share on other sites
SMW22792 Posted June 27, 2016 Share Posted June 27, 2016 I feel relieved that I don't need to worry about having kids. This isn't just an asexual thing, but I see my lack of desire for intercourse as a good way to prevent myself from having kids. Link to post Share on other sites
The Emerald Posted June 30, 2016 Share Posted June 30, 2016 I am relieved. I don't have to worry about the pressure into sex, but I did get off-handed questions about marriage and kids from my mom. I realize I am not the best with kids, so why bother into having them, you know? Link to post Share on other sites
dcpc Posted July 1, 2016 Share Posted July 1, 2016 Hey, new here! This is my first post. I remember in middle school and high school, everybody would have their little girlfriends and boyfriends and I would hear the endless drama. It always seemed so foreign to me why someone would want that type of relationship. And of course sex, what something I was totally uninterested in when it seemed to occupy the minds of everybody around me. Up until really recently, I always told my friends, I'm glad I'm asexual. I don't have to deal with emotional drama and can leave a stress-free life (in that regard!). However, as I get older (I'm 24) now, I've been wondering what it is like to have a relationship, especially a sexual one. I've started to consider if I'm grey-asexual since I do get aroused and am curious what sex is like. So, now it seems my asexuality is something that confuses me. I think why don't I feel sexual attraction to people, but still have the curiosity and the sexual urge. So, it can go both ways. Either it gives a sense of relief that you don't have to deal with the emotional/intimate drama, but on the flip side curiosity always kills the cat. Link to post Share on other sites
Skycaptain Posted July 1, 2016 Share Posted July 1, 2016 dcpc welcome to AVEN 🎂 🎂 Link to post Share on other sites
anzu2snow Posted July 1, 2016 Share Posted July 1, 2016 When I had an inkling that I might be ace years ago, I tried to deny it quickly. Like, it had to be something else. It seemed scary. Since I've been looking more into it, the last couple of weeks, it all makes sense now. I'm feeling a bit happier now that I have started accepting it more. To know the word for what I was feeling, and to know that there are others who are similar; can be a great feeling. I'm actually unsure about my 'romantic' orientation at this point. I know I have a strong attraction towards men. I tend to forget about things like dating until it's brought up. I did like being in a romantic relationship when I was in one. But, it took him telling me his feelings for me to even think to start actually dating him. So, this part I'm a little iffy with. Makes me think what will dating be like if I do get to it. So, slightly apprehensive about that. But, I feel I'll figure that stuff out over time. Kind of feel like I'm embarking on a journey of self discovery now. In a way, it's exciting! So, in short, I'm feeling a lot of emotions about it right now. Mostly positive. Link to post Share on other sites
Ace of Amethysts Posted July 1, 2016 Share Posted July 1, 2016 I love being ace. That`s all I gotta say. Link to post Share on other sites
Flowerz Posted July 1, 2016 Share Posted July 1, 2016 My first post! I'm relieved. Recently went on a dating site and dreaded getting responses. Dreaded it! Realized I wanted close relationships with other women (I'm a lesbo) but not the sex part. My deepest relationships have always been with other women, a man or two, all non physical. Then I ran across a video on You Tube on asexuality and thought, THATS IT! Then found this site. I'm happy! Link to post Share on other sites
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