aceofspuds Posted June 19, 2016 Share Posted June 19, 2016 How do you know when you're romantically attracted to someone? Do you just "know", or do you have to think it over until you decide, "yes, I have a crush"? Have you ever found yourself really wishing you didn't have a crush on a person? And have you ever tried to convince yourself it wasn't a crush? Sorry for all the questions. Hopefully most of that made sense. Just a curious aromantic over here. Link to post Share on other sites
SithLord Posted June 19, 2016 Share Posted June 19, 2016 I'm not actually sure. I guess when I start thinking of my future with them and if it involves kissing (which I do for them, not me), hand holding, cuddling, and other sensual or relationship things I figure myself romantically attracted because I wouldn't want that with someone outside of a personal relationship. It's not something I consciously feel so much as something I'm aware that I feel based on other things. I've never had crushes on people. I thought I did, but I confused them with squishes. I would want to be closer friends with that person but nothing more. I only realized this when one such "crush" turned into my first boyfriend, and then I discovered that I didn't want to hold his hand, didn't want to kiss him, or do anything coupley or romantic with him. And I only later thought of it after finding the terms asexual and squish. As for the convincing it wasn't a crush thing: hell yes. I was glad they were just squishes, but my classmates and I misinterpreted them as crushes and teased the ever living hell out of me. Denial doesn't help, acceptance just makes them tease you more, and omg I'm just realizing I went to high school with a bunch of five year olds. One such time he took my book and I had to chase him to get it back, another time they wrote "sith likes ____ and ____ likes sith" on the board. High school with five year olds, I ask you. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 19, 2016 Share Posted June 19, 2016 How do you know when you're romantically attracted to someone? Do you just "know", or do you have to think it over until you decide, "yes, I have a crush"? I've been in both of these scenarios. I've become better at "just knowing" the older I got. Have you ever found yourself really wishing you didn't have a crush on a person? Yes. That's actually the usual result for me when I realize that I have romantic feelings for someone - try to make the feelings stop, ASAP. And have you ever tried to convince yourself it wasn't a crush? Yes. -_- (Hint: This denial never works, and usually makes things a lot worse.) Link to post Share on other sites
Tarfeather Posted June 19, 2016 Share Posted June 19, 2016 Obsessive thoughts concerning the object of your crush.. It's really easy to tell. But sometimes you just don't reflect and don't realize, that you're thinking so much about this person, even as you do it. Link to post Share on other sites
WhenSummersGone Posted June 19, 2016 Share Posted June 19, 2016 For me it starts with someone I find good looking/cute, then if I like them each time I see them then I'll call it a crush. There are some crushes I wish I didn't have, mostly because they didn't like me back/ignored me/etc. and I don't want to continue hurting. I'm pretty good at telling when it's a crush so it's hard to tell myself otherwise. Link to post Share on other sites
AceInhibitor Posted June 19, 2016 Share Posted June 19, 2016 How do you know when you're romantically attracted to someone? Do you just "know", or do you have to think it over until you decide, "yes, I have a crush"? Have you ever found yourself really wishing you didn't have a crush on a person? And have you ever tried to convince yourself it wasn't a crush? Sorry for all the questions. Hopefully most of that made sense. Just a curious aromantic over here. I generally have to think it over for a while. I had one crush where it came on really quickly but apart from that one, most of the others required a lot of thinking. My first crush on a girl took me about 3 or 4 months before I actually admitted that it probably was a crush. And dear god yes. I've had maybe one crush in my life that I didn't wish I hadn't have. And yes, I have tried to convince myself it wasn't a crush. Mostly on that one girl. Link to post Share on other sites
blanket burrito Posted June 25, 2016 Share Posted June 25, 2016 I usually don't think it over, but I probably should considering how many times I thought I liked someone and only realized otherwise when they started reciprocating and I didn't want a relationship with them. :/ Oops. I regret getting a crush probably 95% of the time, and although I don't try to convince myself that it's not a crush, I make a lot of effort to believe that it's hopeless and I should just give up asap. I'll invent all kinds of reasons as to why liking someone will turn out badly, but mostly I just assume no one's interested and I'd rather not dwell on a pointless crush. Link to post Share on other sites
Holy Ghost Posted June 25, 2016 Share Posted June 25, 2016 Obsessive thoughts concerning the object of your crush.. It's really easy to tell. But sometimes you just don't reflect and don't realize, that you're thinking so much about this person, even as you do it. I'm thinking about someone as I read this. lol. Link to post Share on other sites
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