Do you guys feel like a part of the LGBT community?

[doberman]

G'day,

Personally I don't however that could be because of a few things; firstly, I've never been discriminated against because of being Asexual, secondly, I have never come out as Asexual, thirdly, I only recently "discovered" Asexuality, and lastly, it doesn't seem like enough people even know what it is. I feel like the LGBT "movement" if you will is about standing up against discrimination and while I wholeheartedly support it I don't feel like a part of it. I was wondering what you guys' thoughts on this were and if any of you feel the same way/feel the oppposite as I do. I want to also say, I'm not saying discrimination against Asexuality isn't a thing, I'm just saying in my experience it doesn't happen nearly as much as it does against the LGBT community. Anyway, I look forward to seeing your replies and if you want me to expand on what I've said/explain things clearer just ask :)

Cheers.

[dede jorges]

I don't feel myself a part of LGBT simply because I feel asexual, and not a differently-sexual.

[tali.lynn]

I feel, justified or not, like LGBT+ commumity is where I belong. I grew up in a rainbow family so it's been a major part of my life, I've attended LGBT+ daycare, church, events and most of my family friends are lesbian. I never thought about whether I was "part of the community" because to me, I was either straight or LGBT. I didn't think there was a third option. Since accepting my asexuality and aromanticism it feels... odd. It is different than when I thought I was gay or bi (I tried every label). I feel strongly connected to the queer community, to a place where I can be myself and no one will assume my sexuality. I like going to gay bars and gay spaces because I can certainly relate to these people more, be it because of my unbringing or sexuality. True I will never be denied rights based on my gender or sexuality and this does make it hard to reconcile my identity with the community. I do recognize that I don't face the difficulties that same-sex partnered and trans individuals face and I never want to overshadow or threaten their visibility or pride.

[Busrider]

I feel like the LGBT's rubbertipped spearhead in a heteronormative society, when the latter flashes it's homophobic side.

Yes, I am tolerant. - No, I don't feel integrated by the LGBT at all; I'm male, there is no gender role equivalent of fag hag for me, although I'd consider gals nice to hang around and would be happily not integrated into their sexualities.

[Tanzanite]

Through support, yes, through asexuality, no.

[Kimmie.]

Through support, yes, through asexuality, no.

somthing similar for me

I mean as a Heteroromantic i am practically straight. So no my asexuality dosen´t really give me a place in the LGBT community. I would like to se me as a supporter though.

[Guest]

Nope, I don't.

If I did, it would be due to being genderqueer, not due to being asexual. But even being genderqueer, it's still a nope - some attitudes that I see as awfully common among the LGBT+ movement just thoroughly put me off of wanting to associate with it. (That's in a large way a result of spending four years on AVEN, btw - I didn't find LGBT+ half as annoying four years ago than I do now.)

[Ace of Amethysts]

Do I support LGBT people? Absolutely. Do I feel like I can fit right in with their community? Not at all, because I don`t feel like I can really completely relate to them being neither homosexual nor homoromantic.

Or bisexual, or biromantic...you get the point.

Edited June 18, 2016 by Ace of Amethysts

[Parmenides]

While I personally support their cause I would like that the asexual community would be something distant from it as from the heterosexual community.

We are not a sexual minority. We are the asexual minority.

[Kappamaki]

Well, I'm a dissenting voice in this particular thread.

Yes, I do feel like I'm LGBT+, and although it's not the only reason, I feel like I would still be LGBT+ based on my aceness alone. I'm an ally of subsets like the gay and bi communities, and an outright member of the larger set.

[Blakrana]

Personally, no. Fact is that when the only thing 'different' about me to the typical straight person is the indifference towards sex...that's not at all on par or related to the varying social, political and economic obstacles that people who fall under the LGBTetc auspice have to deal with on a daily, regular basis. For people who're orientated or facing issues that come under that, well...makes sense for them to be involved.

Sex is only a facet of Sexuality, not the defining aspect of it.

[Urchin]

I do as I am Both Asexual and Aromantic. However sometimes I feel uncomfortable saying I'm LGBT+ since some people think I'm lying and my orientation isn't a proper one.

[ChillaKilla]

I feel like it's up to everyone to decide for themselves.

Personally I do. But it's not necessarily because I'm aromantic. I have several other reasons to belong.

[masterplan]

No. No matter how much I support LGBT+ I in no way feel part of it. That is because I view a person's (a)sexuality mostly as part of their personality. Just like if they like pizza or not. It makes them who they are. I am just me, and will forever be me. Joining LGBT would make me feel like I am explicitly saying that I am different and need support for my differences from what is considered normal. For other people that may be great, but I feel like it adds nothing to my life. If I had to join a community for every single part of my personality that differs from the norm it would become a full-time job.

[Rising Sun]

Technically, yes we are. Culturally, it's another story.

[Éadweard]

Some days yes. Some days no.

[Éadweard]

I do find it funny that some people say that their being asexual doesn't really make them that different. And some say they are "basically straight." If that were the case they wouldn't have specifically sought out this website and joined it because they would be going through life actually thinking they were like everyone else. They are here because they absolutely do feel different. Own it.

[Autumnalis]

For a while before I learned that asexuality was a thing, I thought I must have been part of the LGBT community. I was young, naive and ignorant: there was hetero, there was homo and there was bi. Knowing I wasn't the former meant that I must have been one of the others, so I started getting into the community though only casually.

Though now even casual involvement is more than I'd like, I still keep in touch with the friends I'd made and occasionally throw my support behind something or someone.

I've noticed though, as others have commented already, that the LGBT community as a whole isn't the most welcoming or friendliest and has the capacity for surprising hatred towards people who aren't them.

[aceghost]

Also an outlier; I definitely do identify as part of the LGBT+ community. However, I thought I was a lesbian for many, many years before I learned of the term "homoromantic asexual" so that probably makes some sense. It's hard for me to separate those two things, and think about if I were only asexual, but not homoromantic, if I would feel the same, and I guess likely not. However, I don't feel like suddenly discovering I'm asexual negates my connection with the LGBT+ community. They got me through high school, they got me through numerous encounters with bigoted assholes in my life, and they've gotten me through coming out as asexual, too. :)

[Blakrana]

I do find it funny that some people say that their being asexual doesn't really make them that different. And some say they are "basically straight." If that were the case they wouldn't have specifically sought out this website and joined it because they would be going through life actually thinking they were like everyone else. They are here because they absolutely do feel different. Own it.

Speaking for myself...

Different about Sexual inclination, not Gender Preference. Being Straight is to simply have the Hetero gender preference, just as being Gay is simply having a Homo gender preference. Anything after that is just specifics that only matter to the partner/s involved in life.

Why should one's sexual inclinations, or lack there of, be considered the dominant aspect of our orientations? Were one to follow the logic through, then essentially anyone to contest the capability to be Straight and Asexual must also challenge being any orientation and Asexual. You cannot logically stop it at 'just' Straight otherwise it's arbitrary nonsense that means nothing tangible.

Own it? This is me owning it; I've never defined myself in terms of sex and I refuse to do so now.

[Nuage]

Mh, I think belonging to the LGBTQ+ community is very personal feeling. I know that there is a lot of discussion regarding whether or not heteroromantic aces belong in it or not, but I think it's not limited to it. I've seen quite a few people who don't feel that they belong to the LGBTQ+ despite being gay, bi, or trans.

I'm wondering if it has more to do with how involved you are with other people whose sexuality/gender is marginalized. I'm unsure.

I'm non-binary and my romantic attraction is somewhat marginalized too so it's beyond asexuality for me.

I do think heteroromantic aces belong in the LGBTQ+ community if they do feel that way, individuality. Same goes for aromantic heterosexuals.

[JAKQ7111]

Well, I'm a dissenting voice in this particular thread.

Yes, I do feel like I'm LGBT+, and although it's not the only reason, I feel like I would still be LGBT+ based on my aceness alone. I'm an ally of subsets like the gay and bi communities, and an outright member of the larger set.

I do find it funny that some people say that their being asexual doesn't really make them that different. And some say they are "basically straight." If that were the case they wouldn't have specifically sought out this website and joined it because they would be going through life actually thinking they were like everyone else. They are here because they absolutely do feel different. Own it.

I agree wholeheartedly with both of you, here. Asexuality is not normative. We are not "basically straight" in and of ourselves. Why do you think so many of us come here telling stories of how sick and broken we felt before discovering asexuality? No heteronormative person has that feeling, at least as pervasively. We are different from the norm, and that is why we need a community to back us up- so we don't have to go through life feeling totally alone for having a sexual orientation most people don't know exists.

[SithLord]

I feel like part of the lgbt+ community because of my asexuality. Before, when I thought I was straight, I felt only supportive of them and like an ally but still connected since around me no one else seemed to be lgbt+ or involved with them so it was almost like defying the status quo to be involved. I didn't belong to the GSA on my high school campus because of it, which I regret. Now that I'm ace and know I belong, I'm more determined to steak my claim as part of them. Some lgbt+ refuse to acknowledge me, some straight people refuse to acknowledge me, but fuck them. Once upon a time gay wasn't a thing either, neither was bi, especially not pan. Ace will be bigger someday too, and we'll be recognized, but we just can't back out because of a little prejudice.

Also it might be because my uni accepts asexuality and lists it among the orientations when sending out surveys, and because I have gone to some of our Pride center stuff and came out to strangers without a problem there and without rejection. Maybe because I've been accepted more than rejected when first making my steps into the community I feel better about my belonging.

[Kimmie.]

I think as a heteroromantic i am not enough outside the heteronorm to be aloud to call me that. shore i have been could prudish and things like that because of my non interest in having sex and sex in general. But if people want to inclued me, shore why not. But i still feel it would be like an insult for me as a heteroromantic to stomp in in the LGBTQ+ community for the reason that i am as i said earlier not enough outside the heteronorm.

[masterplan]

I do find it funny that some people say that their being asexual doesn't really make them that different. And some say they are "basically straight." If that were the case they wouldn't have specifically sought out this website and joined it because they would be going through life actually thinking they were like everyone else. They are here because they absolutely do feel different. Own it.

Not really. The only reason why I am here is because someone sent me a link and told me I should join "because it sounds like you". I did because I wanted to learn more. Still don't feel so different from the world just because I may identify with asexuality which is only a small part of me. There is a big difference between feeling different and being perceived as different by others. 90% of the population also likes supermarket or cheap restaurant pizza. I don't. If there was a community for that, maybe I would join it too if it is something I can easily talk about with others and the topics may be interesting. Not because I am going to make myself in any way feel different, sad or special for not liking the pizza they do.

[Hitch-22]

I do as I am Both Asexual and Aromantic. However sometimes I feel uncomfortable saying I'm LGBT+ since some people think I'm lying and my orientation isn't a proper one.

I'm both asexual and demiromantic, do don't however feel a part of the LBGT+ movement, because I don't get faced with the issues they do. there are no social, political or economic disadvantages at being asexual and demiromantic in the way there are for LGBT people.

I do however support them, I just don't feel a part of it because of my asexuality.

[Hitch-22]

I do find it funny that some people say that their being asexual doesn't really make them that different. And some say they are "basically straight." If that were the case they wouldn't have specifically sought out this website and joined it because they would be going through life actually thinking they were like everyone else. They are here because they absolutely do feel different. Own it.

I do feel different, and when I was younger it raised a lot of questions for me, but the major difference between the LGBT people and myself, is that I dont have to deal with any disadvantages due to my asexuality, whereas they do face inequality because of their sexuality on a regular basis.

[henshin]

I don't think its possible to classify asexuality as part of the LGBT+ spectrum or not because people aren't just 'asexual', they are hetero, homo, bi, pan or aro (is that all of them?).

Our romantic orientations matter just as much as our asexuality.

For my part, I do feel part of the LGBT+ community because I'm homoromantic. However even without that, I've always found my community, being both queer and feminist, to be the most open to different ways of thinking about sex, consent, and what is considered normal. Not something you find too often in heterosexual places.

[R_1]

As an aro ace, I am not part of it.

[Grace the Space Ace]

yes, i feel part of the lgbt+ community, both for being bi and for being aroace.

to be honest, maybe i was living under a rock, but i never saw all the arguing over whether het aro/aces are entitled to be part of the community until very recently - before then, when first began to identify as asexual, it just seemed like an accepted thing that any aces and aros have a place in the community (that's why i and a lot of people call it the lgbtqiap community). i didn't even think to question it until i saw non-aces arguing otherwise. the way i see it, the community is changing all the time and ultimately the big uniting factor is (or should be) that the people within it differ from typical western cisnormative and/or heteronormative expectations. also, a lot of the arguments i've seen for dropping the 'a' from the acronym have been offensive in some way, either biphobic or ace/arophobic or transphobic or intersexist, so...i'm a little sensitive about the subject, i guess.

in my opinion, individuals who fit this uniting factor should be able to decide for themselves whether they personally want to belong to the lgbt+ community, but if an ace or aro person feels a kinship with the movement, there should be a seat waiting for them.