Aces who masturbate; do you ever picture/imagine yourself?

[AnthroAce]

I was browsing an old thread (http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/9980-masturbating-as-what-do-you-think-about-when-masturbating/page-1) and it got me thinking about the point of view/involvement of oneself in masturbation.

So for those who do masturbate, do you imagine yourself within it? Is it a kind of 3rd person view (but without actually "watching"/voyeurism) of two characters or people you know or blank faces?

A lot of people in the original thread seemed to resonate with the phrase "a gay man in a woman's body"- when describing the kind of things they liked imagining (m/m stuff)? Do you think this is related?

A final follow up for those still with me, if you're an ace who has sex (eg with an allo partner), do you do a similar kind of 3rd personing during sex?

Huge thanks to anyone who can help me out!

[jefflee]

I never imagine myself, and I think that's a key aspect of my asexuality and why I've never been able to enjoy sex. But it's not really a voyeuristic thing either. It's like being in a dream-like state. When I'm in a dream, I'm not aware of my physical being. It actually feels really abstract where you're aware of the sensations but you're detached from your body.

[scarletlatitude]

Moving to the Gray Area forum

scarletlatitude

temp Q&A mod

[blanket burrito]

I tried once or twice. 3rd person with myself is a massive nope. Pretty much anything involving myself is a massive nope. I imagine more... silhouettes than anything, I guess. No real defining features at all, nobody I know, nobody who's real (like celebrities or random cute strangers). It was kind of like that back when I was active, too. I would try to almost dissociate during sex, because I didn't know what else to do, I just knew I wasn't into it.

We've all got our different experiences, though, idk.

[Guest]

Not imagining myself in it, no. Just imagining naked women being naked. (Same thing I consume in porn, as a visual aid to masturbation - a gal sitting stark naked on a chair and talking about her day "works" perfectly fine, thank you. ^_^ )

[RiseOfCourage]

Hi Anthroace:-)

Good questions! makes me think and helps me understand myself better by reading the questions and answers of fellow aces and their loved ones. When I struggle to push myself into "sex" mode for my partner's benefit (it's a valuable bonding thing I've learned. Unconditionally love my partner, I just don't 'get' the sex thing) I don't imagine myself or any person at all. Maybe I'm a bit weird, but I imagine an activity I deeply enjoy - sailing. Imagining people doesn't do it for me. Imagining sailing and my sailboat during sex or the rare moment of self-pleasure actually helps. Masterbating attempts? I can't picture myself, or even a character with a blank face.

I think this would fall into the fetish category tho...people sexually intrigued by objects. It took a 9000 pound, 31-foot sailboat to show me what it's like to have an orgasm.

[m4rble]

I don't imagine myself, nor do I imagine(or watch) sex.

[a Grace]

if i picture myself it's an idealized version of myself with a male person and i switch points-of-view from first person to third. i very strictly never use people i know, and i haven't decided whether it's moral to picture other real people. i've never had sex but i've had sexual relations twice in my life, and those times i was neither aroused, nor enjoying it. i think my imagination is better than anything real life could ever provide but i have like no experience and very rarely want to try...so...whatever.

[Fire & Rain]

I usually think about the most random things or nothing at all. Most of the time they aren't sexual in nature.

[Lost247365]

The only way I am able to do that is by imagining myself in a female body, or imagining a story in which I (or a surrogate) am changed into a female by some method.

Does imaging yourself as the opposite sex count?

[scarletlatitude]

I have to imagine myself as the opposite sex. I don't know if that counts as fantasy or reality.

[AlexisS]

I never imagine myself in the act of sex, because it's a huge turn-off when masturbating.

I rather view it in third-person as mentioned in the OP's post, and I usually fantasize about fictional characters or celebs, not the real people I know irl.

When I watch porns, I also do not imagine myself involved in the situation or in the actors/actresses, rather the sex itself gets me aroused (for some inexplicable reasons lol)

And as for real life sex.. From my past experiences, I could never enjoy it no matter how much I tried to. I've tried to think of something else (some completely unrelated things I usually fantasize about) to get me off, but it was still hard for me to keep thinking other things while having sex, when my (ex-)partners were solely focused on my reactions.

In the end, I had to fake the orgasms and stuff, just to reassure the partners. Sex is not an enjoyable thing and such an arduous labor for me. :(

[ponz]

Nope, I'm never involved in the fantasy. I guess I kind of "live through" the people, or strongly empathisize with their experiences in order to feel it myself.

[- - -]

i dont mastubate but i do still fantasise and its always in 1st person (as myself). also theres usually nobody else there just an object (fetish) and if there is, then they are just using the object so they are faceless and mostly irrellavant...

[dcpc]

For me, yes I do think of myself when masturbating. Even though sex with another person freaks me out, I've always fantasized about having sex with myself. It's like who else knows you more and what you like and what you are comfortable with besides yourself. Sounds weird and I'd literally be F'ing myself, but it's a turn on for me.

[Homer]

For me, yes I do think of myself when masturbating. Even though sex with another person freaks me out, I've always fantasized about having sex with myself. It's like who else knows you more and what you like and what you are comfortable with besides yourself. Sounds weird and I'd literally be F'ing myself, but it's a turn on for me.

Sorry if this is too personal, feel free to ignore but... how does that work? Are there two of you?

I never think of myself. Sometimes there might be a 1st person perspective but it's not me. It's not someone else either, it's just the perspective. No idea whether that makes any sense. I don't need much to get it done anyways.

[Guest]

No...it's always first person, like a sexy version of Call of Duty.

[dcpc]

For me, yes I do think of myself when masturbating. Even though sex with another person freaks me out, I've always fantasized about having sex with myself. It's like who else knows you more and what you like and what you are comfortable with besides yourself. Sounds weird and I'd literally be F'ing myself, but it's a turn on for me.

Sorry if this is too personal, feel free to ignore but... how does that work? Are there two of you?

I never think of myself. Sometimes there might be a 1st person perspective but it's not me. It's not someone else either, it's just the perspective. No idea wether that makes any sense. I don't need much to get it done anyways.

It's just a fantasy of mine to have sex with myself. Like a clone, exact same person as me. Kinda weird and probably only makes sense to me. I feel that I know myself best and if a could clone myself, I could explore what I am into sexually (if anything) and not have to worry about involving another person and not feeling sexual attraction towards them.

[Lost247365]

It's just a fantasy of mine to have sex with myself. Like a clone, exact same person as me. Kinda weird and probably only makes sense to me. I feel that I know myself best and if a could clone myself, I could explore what I am into sexually (if anything) and not have to worry about involving another person and not feeling sexual attraction towards them.

There is actually a term for this: Autosexual

[dcpc]

It's just a fantasy of mine to have sex with myself. Like a clone, exact same person as me. Kinda weird and probably only makes sense to me. I feel that I know myself best and if a could clone myself, I could explore what I am into sexually (if anything) and not have to worry about involving another person and not feeling sexual attraction towards them.

There is actually a term for this: Autosexual

There is a word for everything around here. I kinda like it. I'm autosexual, I want to fuck myself. hahaha

[Lost247365]

It's just a fantasy of mine to have sex with myself. Like a clone, exact same person as me. Kinda weird and probably only makes sense to me. I feel that I know myself best and if a could clone myself, I could explore what I am into sexually (if anything) and not have to worry about involving another person and not feeling sexual attraction towards them.

There is actually a term for this: Autosexual

There is a word for everything around here. I kinda like it. I'm autosexual, I want to fuck myself. hahaha

If it makes you feel better there is a term for people like me as well: Automosexual/Autogynephilia.

According to this term I am supposedly sexually attracted to myself (as the opposite sex). This despite the fact that I wouldn't want to have sex even with an opposite sex clone. How is that sexual attraction in anyway?

At least your condition isn't considered a paraphilia like mine is... <_<

[Starfalcon]

For me, it's just nameless faceless people engaging in whatever sexy and/or kinky behavior. But the instant I imagine myself, it's an instant turn off. Occasionally I can imagine it first person (not me, though) for a little while, but if eventually I start imagining it as me, and then bam, it's over. I completely lose interest and want to stop. It took me a while to figure out that I was ace, because I was imagining sexual scenes... but when they're sexual scenes that don't involve me, and when I have zero interest in acting them out myself, it probably means that I am ace.

[Neurula]

I had a counselor ask me this once. I'm still not sure. But I watch porn and I can't picture it being me in the porn instead of the actors. I have a really hard time imagining myself having sex in general. So it is neither first person or third person because I am not in the fantasy at all.

[Ramiel]

i don't ever think about myself.... Since this thread made me think about how I masturbate, I realized what I do is actually distract myself from the act of masturbating.

Sometimes I watch or read porn, sometimes I watch or read things that are in no way sensual, sometimes I listen to music. But as soon as I lose those sick bass licks to distract myself with, I lose all the good vibes too...

[Busrider]

I think there were the rare x<6% cases where I masturbated over own not really sexual solo experiences.

[Sugar-Tea]

A lot of people in the original thread seemed to resonate with the phrase "a gay man in a woman's body"- when describing the kind of things they liked imagining (m/m stuff)? Do you think this is related?

Hmmm well I only masturbate to third person m/m fantasies and smutty fanfiction (often (semi-)bdsm stuff), but a "a gay man in a woman's body" doesn't really feel like the right way to describe this. I don't feel like a man, not even in fantasies... I'm too detached from the fantasies for that. I just like the dynamics between the characters. And they're aesthetically pleasing in their own right. Another explanation is that, as a feminist, I just can't handle the thought of extreme bdsm-situations featuring a submissive woman. Which is quite ridiculous, but logically possible.

[Evren]

If I'm fantasying then it is usually first person, or some outside perspective where I still can't see myself for some reason. I can't really picture people with my imagination, so no third person for me.

[SpeedinThroughSpace]

I hardly ever think of anything... It's more a 'don't think just feel' kinda thing for me. Sometimes I think of random things (really random, I've thought about homework, weekend plans, a book I was reading and other stuff while 'involved' - none of these things are turn ons for me, they were just random thoughts that came up because my brain was idle, like when you lie around staring at the ceiling or when you're walking around... Maturation bores my brain, it seems.)

After I realised it's a thing, I tried having a fantasy. I managed to come up with a third person view of pair of faceless and rather featureless people (I'm not even really sure what genders they were, although I wanted at least one woman), but it was so much work to try to think of what they should do that it distracted me and it was really annoying because it didn't work at all anymore. I gave up on fantasies quickly after that.

For me, a context isn't necessary. I just like the sensation... Kinda like a weird massage?

[Adam_Jensen]

When I fantasize sexual scenarios,the people who usually star on them are fictional,I can't imagine myself doing something sexual with anyone fictional or not because when I do I feel disgusted.I know it's sound weird but that's how it is :lol:

[Guest]

I think there were the rare x<6% cases where I masturbated over own not really sexual solo experiences.

That's an oddly specific value. :lol: