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penamat

Asexuality has Changed....

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penamat

Well.... to say it has been a while is, an understatement. It was several years ago that I discovered Asexuality and Aven... and its been a long time since I have posted on here. I know that we in the community are all well read, and are all of moderate intelligence, so I do not feel at all hindered by posting such a long topic, but I feel its must be said, and it must be read. I know, that most of you will not even get a chance to read this. I will probably be banned and ostracized the moment I click the "post new topic button", but to those of you who read this.. please.. here me out. After all, true egalitarianism can be achieved only when each and everyone of us is able to enter the free market place of ideas, equiped with nothing other than the skills we have learned, and the creativity we have nutured, regardless of our race, gender or sexual orientation.

That being said, I have only one thing to say: If you are an Asexual, you must distance yourself from the Asexual Community.

​Now now, don't be so quick to judge me with intolerance.... Let me explain.... When I joined Aven those many years ago, I really believed in it... and I still do! Asexuality is real, and it is an issue that, sooner or later, others will have to accept. However..... these are dark and trying times. My first experience with Asexuals was great. I met other like-minded people, and we had a good time. "Finally! A group of people who weren't anxious over the thought of sexual intercourse". It was simply, marvelous. However, throughout the years, I have noticed a visible change in our culture.....

​In the past, we did not stand for anything. We were simply a group of people, who resisted the rape-culture of the media, and chose to go our own way. We had our Cake, and we wanted to eat it, society be dammed! We cared about one another, we stood by each other, we didn't want SEX! Period. And it was ok... and finally, we had found a group who understood us. Female and Male, we could meet up, and not try to get in each others pants. What a glorious time it was!

​Fast forward a few years.. I return to Asexual blogs and forumns, and I am filled with nothing but disgust and anguish. Posts about not being heard, blogs about being suppressed, forums about being abused.... It has all lead to a cult.... A poisonous cult of radical Social Justice Warriors and radical leftists. An abyss of victimhood and self-loathing.... one in which, I can no longer be a part of.

​Sure, when I am at work, and I hear heterosexual men talking about sex, and what they would "do to a woman", it disgusts me, to the point of being vocal about it... but never once do I admit to being an Asexual... because I am disgusted at what we have become.....

​All these orientations and definitions of what we are, all of these enemies we claim to have, all of the injustices we claim to right... its NONSENSE.

I am ASEXUAL. That will never change, but I will no longer associate with Asexuality, or the LGBTQ.......AI^*& (batman symbol).. Because it is garbage. We do not stand for anything anymore. We do not stand for tolerance or peace, These days, we stand for tolerance or the gun. Asexuality, LGBT, or any other group..... We have become the enemy we claim to hate so much.

​With so many definitions.... its enough to make my head spin. Can we not just be Asexual? Can we go back to just being ourselves? Eating Cake and hanging out with each other?

No, I do not think we can. Asexuality has been bastardized... to the point of infantilizing our members into believing that the world is against us? No, the world is NOT against us. THE WORLD DOES NOT EVEN KNOW WHO WE ARE!!! We have, unfortunately, fallen in line with the LGBT community, without gaining our proper dues......

​Listen, I know I am rambling, but the proof is there. We are not who we used to be. We hang on the coat-tails of the Radical LGBT in hopes of gaining favorability.. but that simply will not come. The LGBT has become radicalized to the point of ridicule..... Even though we have all the same rights.. we still claim to be oppressed, we still claim to be oppressed.... In what way? Oh, one Bakery wont bake us a Cake? Screw them!

​My point is this........ Aseuxality is not what it was when I joined. It not claims to be a victim.. It now claims to be special. Hey! I am Asexual, and although I do not get my sexual counter-parts, I can tolerate and accept their views.... The LGBT cannot. We can only obtain true equality through peace and understanding.... not intolerance and bigotry. We have become what we claim to hate.

​Therefore, my advice to all new Asexuals is this: Consider NOT being apart of this forumn. Consider being an Asexual, but not vocalizing it to everyone. We are here. We are not horny..... they can get used to it. We do not need to get in their face about it.
​_

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tali.lynn

Okay. Bye :)

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God of the Forest

​Now now, don't be so quick to judge me with intolerance....

I didn't judge you til you said that..lol

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Messen

I'm not sure what you've been reading, but it sounds like a bunch of individuals voicing their opinions, and not the opinion of the entire asexual community.

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Zerο

God forbid anything changes.

giphy.gif

Feel free to make your exit at any time.

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Sutaomiiru

You will have to be more specific about the problems you are talking about. I honestly have never seen any radical leftists here.

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m4rble

This seems like an overly pessimistic and dramatic view. Sure, some people like to talk about oppression and victimhood on Aven, but that's not all that's here. Also what's with the "we"? Neither Aven nor Asexuals are a hivemind. On a site like this you're bound to disagree with some people. It's not that big a deal.

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masterplan

No, I do not think we can. Asexuality has been bastardized... to the point of infantilizing our members into believing that the world is against us? No, the world is NOT against us. THE WORLD DOES NOT EVEN KNOW WHO WE ARE!!! We have, unfortunately, fallen in line with the LGBT community, without gaining our proper dues......

Kind of harsh to say that coming to a safe haven to talk about how some people in this world target others just for being asexual is nonexistent garbage is harsh for someone like me who definitely has been a victim of exactly that. I have been abused and raped for being asexual by someone despite that I was not even aware of my asexuality back in the days. So yes, there are people who ARE against us. And talking about that online is just as fine as complaining about other issues in the world.

Is the whole point of AVEN not to be a place for every asexual and people who feel somehow related to the matter? If there exists complaining, fine. If you want a place where you can just talk to other people happily about cake I am pretty sure there is a topic for you somewhere on this website. But give asexuals who are having issues and feel bad a time and place to heal too, please. It is not like there is a much better place in the world to do so and I am glad AVEN can be of help to them.

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booksaremysexlife

*this is really long and jumbled. I just got super angry. Whoops. But, this is a forum so I can do whatever as long as a don't break the rules :) *

It isn't about a bakery that won't let you buy a cake. Are you kidding me? You think that there are equal rights for LGBT people?

Orlando, Florida. USA. (you probably already know of this): There were 50 people killed and over 50 that were wounded. At a gay bar. A safe place. A place where LGBT people would go to be themselves freely.

Dead.

No more birthdays, no more sunrises, no more books read or breaths breathed in. You say that the LGBT community is not oppressed?

There are people that are scared to go to the f*cking bathroom because it is against the law. There are people that can be fired for who they love, how they look, or how they identify.

"The LGBT has become radicalized to the point of ridicule..... Even though we have all the same rights.. we still claim to be oppressed, we still claim to be oppressed.... In what way? Oh, one Bakery wont bake us a Cake? Screw them!"

How dare you say that? How DARE you say that when people are still being killed, raped, and beaten with fists and words? How DARE you say that when there are countries where being gay is illegal and LGBT people are punished with death? How DARE you say that when one of my friends goes home to tell her mother that she loves another girl and her mother brainwashes her with the belief that she is evil and she has to pray it away? How DARE you say that when a girl that was transgender killed herself by getting hit by a car because her family wasn't supportive (even after death using the wrong pronoun and name)?

Are you kidding me? It isn't about a stupid cake. It is about the violence and hatred.

And no, the WHOLE world is not against aces. Aces are almost... invisible. That is the problem, sometimes. People who come out are made fun of, pressured, abused, and ridiculed. It isn't as bad as some of the LGBTQ+ people have it, true (sometimes). But visibility is important. This website is called "The Asexual Visibility & Education Network" for the love of the gods! Some people want to be visible. Some aces want there to be education about asexuality so that an ace teen in high school doesn't have to wonder why they are weird or strange or just so people don't think is a joke! If you don't want to come out or talk about being ace, fine. But to tell others not to is so idiotic. Not all asexuals are the same. We are a community, but we are as same as you are with your neighbor or coworker. We have a common thread.

This is a safe place where people can talk about what they want to, including whining or griping or just wanting a hug (or a cuppa e-tea). Places change. If you don't like this forum, don't be a part of it. All I can say that the people on the website have supported me, talked to me, and validated me when I really needed it (oh yes, about abuse too! Victims exist and they want to have their voice! Oh no!).

Bye bye!

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Sally

We hang on the coat-tails of the Radical LGBT in hopes of gaining favorability.. but that simply will not come. The LGBT has become radicalized to the point of ridicule..... ​_

Speak for yourself, not all asexuals, and certainly hold your tongue about LGBT people, since many of them were murdered two days ago for just being who they are. <_<

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Fire & Rain

Exactly what I have been saying about Asexuality. I don't know much about LGBT+. So, I'm not going to start pretending but Asexuality and it's 1000 related labels? That, I agree. I'm thinking about leaving too but I'm unemployed at this moment. So, I have nothing to do but frequent forums online ol

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Fire & Rain

I'm not sure what you've been reading, but it sounds like a bunch of individuals voicing their opinions, and not the opinion of the entire asexual community.

But what if those individuals are outnumbering us? Have you been outside of AVEN lately? I don't even use tumblr. Even on youtube there's plenty of those individuals going around.

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CBC

Cool story, bro.

You express your sexuality however you want, and perhaps consider letting others do the same. Problem solved. :)

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Sally

I'm not sure what you've been reading, but it sounds like a bunch of individuals voicing their opinions, and not the opinion of the entire asexual community.

But what if those individuals are outnumbering us? Have you been outside of AVEN lately? I don't even use tumblr. Even on youtube there's plenty of those individuals going around.

Oh my -- there's a world outside the net

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Fire & Rain

I'm not sure what you've been reading, but it sounds like a bunch of individuals voicing their opinions, and not the opinion of the entire asexual community.

But what if those individuals are outnumbering us? Have you been outside of AVEN lately? I don't even use tumblr. Even on youtube there's plenty of those individuals going around.

Oh my -- there's a world outside the net

Always appreciate a good sarcasm. Seriously, it's not just using the internet in general. You have to follow Asexuality on other parts of the internet since it would rarely come up unless you went looking for it. If AVEN was one's only go to for Asexuality, they would have a very limited view of what is going on.

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Skycaptain

To me asexuality hasn't changed. Awareness of asexuality has changed, more people are aware of the orientation and more people have access to the internet, and hence AVEN

I seldom, if ever encounter people who feel that by being asexual they are a victim or a special snowflake. Most people are relieved to have an answer, to use an old cliché, are not broken.

Yes there will be a few SJW's and radical leftists around, but they are as entitled to post their opinions in an egalitarian way exactly the same as all others.

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Messen

Just because they scream the loudest doesn't mean they're "outnumbering us".

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SMW22792

I feel like OP is cherry-picking a little bit. It's all too common for people to define an entire group of people based off of a few, and maybe very vocal, bad apples. This applies to something as mainstream as Muslims, or something as obscure as Furries. I consider it lazy thinking. I just stay away from people I'm incompatible with, and I avoid demonizing a whole group because of it.

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Still

Even though we have all the same rights..

There is at least one European country that demands sterilization for all transgender individuals.

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noneofyourbusiness

Well, all you really managed to do was to make me even more certain that I belong in a community like this. Then again, anytime someone uses SJW as a pejorative I more or less go deaf to the rest of their bullshittery (which you've spewed so effusively).

Don't let the door, yadda yadda...

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Kappamaki

We have, unfortunately, fallen in line with the LGBT community, without gaining our proper dues......

​The LGBT has become radicalized to the point of ridicule..... Even though we have all the same rights.. we still claim to be oppressed, we still claim to be oppressed.... In what way? Oh, one Bakery wont bake us a Cake? Screw them!

There are currently, in the US where you live, hundreds of bills and laws throughout the states specifically targeting LGBTQIA+ rights. And forty-nine people were just murdered in a homophobic massacre, the worst gun slaughter in US history since Wounded Knee.

If you're unwilling to associate with an ace community because we're queer and allies with the rest of the acronym and you're a queerphobe, or because some of us have more problems in our lives than cake jokes and that's too much for your delicate constitution to handle, then you can leave. Nobody is forcing you to stay.

And if you demand that I and other aces isolate ourselves from our community, then you can fuck off.

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Reptillian

If you're unwilling to associate with an ace community because we're queer and allies with the rest of the acronym and you're a queerphobe, or because some of us have more problems in our lives than cake jokes and that's too much for your delicate constitution to handle, then you can leave. Nobody is forcing you to stay.

I, for one would appreciate it if you don't speak for the entire ace community. Some members of the ace community do not consider themselves queer, nor they consider themselves allies. While I am supportive of the LGBTQ community, I am one of those that does not consider himself queer or ally, and frankly the Orlando shooting seems to further my distance away from associating with the community as I absolutely want nothing to do with the problems LGBTQ-associated people may face, and I have seen issues in the past plenty of time and they are not something I want to deal with. I do express support of the LGBTQ community by arguing about misconceptions about sexuality and so on at the moment.

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Kappamaki

If you're unwilling to associate with an ace community because we're queer and allies with the rest of the acronym and you're a queerphobe, or because some of us have more problems in our lives than cake jokes and that's too much for your delicate constitution to handle, then you can leave. Nobody is forcing you to stay.

I, for one would appreciate it if you don't speak for the entire ace community. Some members of the ace community do not consider themselves queer, nor they consider themselves allies. While I am supportive of the LGBTQ community, I am one of those that does not consider himself queer or allies, and frankly the Orlando shooting seems to further my distance away from associating with the community as I absolutely want nothing to do with the problems LGBTQ-associated people may face, and I have seen issues in the past plenty of time and they are not something I want to deal with.

Noted.

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butterflydreams

However you feel, this is kind of a poorly timed post :/

I don't like being part of any ideology either or "queer culture" so I just don't. Asexuals are just people. Trans people are just people. They can have all sorts of beliefs and ally themselves with any groups or movements they wish. Nobody is standing at the door tossing out asexuals who aren't properly leftist. I certainly don't consider myself a proper leftist, but I still feel as welcome here as anywhere else.

As for rights, I don't even want to entertain that. Are people not actually going around protesting where I can go to the bathroom? News to me.

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Snao Cone

Wait...so if the cool and smart thing to do is to not listen to the tirades people are going on and to not go along with their demands for change...then what are we supposed to do in response to this tirade? Is this a test??

For reals, though, most of what you're complaining about is the same type of zeal that can be found in people pursuing any aim or purpose. Do you think that it's your asexuality that's being misrepresented, or do you just wish other people behaved the same way as you do about their a/sexuality?

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Flower Boy

colbert-popcorn.gif

Well, I mean you know what they say...but what they say is sort of a logical fallacy.

You can have your cake and eat it too, provided you keep your hands off other folks cake unless they offer it.

And yes, that was a slight pun and no, I am not sorry. Good day.

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Fire & Rain

Wait...so if the cool and smart thing to do is to not listen to the tirades people are going on and to not go along with their demands for change...then what are we supposed to do in response to this tirade? Is this a test??

For reals, though, most of what you're complaining about is the same type of zeal that can be found in people pursuing any aim or purpose. Do you think that it's your asexuality that's being misrepresented, or do you just wish other people behaved the same way as you do about their a/sexuality?

It's not just the aim though. Of course, not every gay person is the same or might have after same goal in LGBT or is even in LGBT. But all the gay have one thing in common. They are all gay and being gay is pretty straightforward (maybe confusing to some religious nuts) but in general gay is something universally understood. With Asexuality we can't even freaking agree on the definition. Now when someone says they are asexual they can be anything from completely asexual to non hyper sexual. We have absolutely nothing in common in terms of sexuality like gay or bi people do. What's the point of using a common word for it when you are like complete opposites of each other?

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Ruqiah

I'm curious to know more about the radical LGBT folk and radical leftists. What are they? What do they do? Beyond typing into online areas, protesting, voting, and speaking out? Protected speech and legal behaviors.

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Snao Cone

Wait...so if the cool and smart thing to do is to not listen to the tirades people are going on and to not go along with their demands for change...then what are we supposed to do in response to this tirade? Is this a test??

For reals, though, most of what you're complaining about is the same type of zeal that can be found in people pursuing any aim or purpose. Do you think that it's your asexuality that's being misrepresented, or do you just wish other people behaved the same way as you do about their a/sexuality?

It's not just the aim though. Of course, not every gay person is the same or might have after same goal in LGBT or is even in LGBT. But all the gay have one thing in common. They are all gay and being gay is pretty straightforward (maybe confusing to some religious nuts) but in general gay is something universally understood. With Asexuality we can't even freaking agree on the definition. Now when someone says they are asexual they can be anything from completely asexual to non hyper sexual. We have absolutely nothing in common in terms of sexuality like gay or bi people do. What's the point of using a common word for it when you are like complete opposites of each other?

The same arguments come up in discussing LGB identities. I've known a few self-identifying gay/lesbian people who have entered hetero relationships well after coming out but do not identify as bisexual. Even within bisexuality, it can get messy. Asexuality, being a slightly newer concept and also less concretely demonstrated, is going to have more of this problem, but it's not exclusive, and I don't see how the solution is to deny community dialogue.

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Sutaomiiru

Did the OP actually get banned, or is he just not coming back to answer the replies?

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