how often your gender changes? (poll)

[AVEN #1 fan]

Hey, what about we talk about gender changes? Do anyone wants to comment something about themselves? Feel free. :)

I would really really like if you could tell me what are your genders, if you know which genders you are in btw.

For example: bigender (boy + girl), just it, thx.

[AVEN #1 fan]

Well I should have mentioned I was studying bigender+ people only, sry.

[Symphonic Sync]

I would recommend still including all possible answers if the poll is open to the entire AVEN community.

[dissolved]

My gender is very much stable, so I find this interesting and a wee bit strange :P

For those that answer the poll, what does it actually feel like to have your gender change? Is it a slow thing that you barely notice, or very obvious?

[LassieBee]

Hi, I'm demiflux (demiboy and agenderflux) and I don't really notice my gender changing that much unless there's mirrors around or I'm in the middle of a social gathering so it would be nice if you could add an "unsure" to the first question and "other" to the gender question. Good poll though!

[Finn.]

Soo I don't have a fitting label for my gender yet.

So for this one I checked polygender, fluid, and flux. Mostly I say "I am mainly agender" or just "nonbinary".

I also checked the neurogender box because I believe my mental health influences my gender experience as well. I guess technically it's "gendercloud" because it refers to my mental illness specifically but I usually use "gendervague". For me it just means that to some degree I can't fully comprehend my gender because of my neurodivergency.

I know my gender shifts but I don't always notice it, unless it shifts much or I concentrate hard on it. Thinking too hard about it messes with my head.

[The-world-is-quiet-here]

For me, my gender changes somewhere from every couple of days to a week and a half or so.

I don't really know how to describe how you know it changes. Normally I wake up in the morning and take a moment to (try to) pinpoint how I feel. So far, my gender hasn't changed again in the middle of the day- if I am one gender, it has stayed like that throughout the day. But yeah, there are days when I feel more masculine or neutral or whatever, and I try to dress for that. I haven't actually changed my behaviors (the way I walk, etc.). I don't know if I ever will.

For the past

[The-world-is-quiet-here]

(Sorry, it sent in the middle of my message)

For the past almost three weeks (20 days), I just haven't known what my gender is. Like, I could say I feel masculine/agender/etc, but it's not how I feel. Recently I've been dressing somewhat neutrally, and sometimes wearing lipstick. Maybe in the future I'll figure out a better solution, but that's all I have for now.

[binary suns]

Well I should have mentioned I was studying bigender+ people only, sry.

what about people who are bigender+ but don't experience something that can be described as "their gender changing"?

[RK800]

Gonna toss in my two cents despite it not being asked for.

I don't think it ever has changed. However my expression has fluxed over the years.

[Kelly]

Many people (most?) have a stable gender that never changes throughout their life. This includes trans people.

[AVEN #1 fan]

Well I should have mentioned I was studying bigender+ people only, sry.

what about people who are bigender+ but don't experience something that can be described as "their gender changing"?

Well I fit in that category, but I want to know about people who suddenly change their genders and then environment around them.

[AVEN #1 fan]

Gonna toss in my two cents despite it not being asked for.

I don't think it ever has changed. However my expression has fluxed over the years.

I think everybody passes thoroughout moments in their lives when they feel more masculine, or more feminine, or neutral or androgynous, or they simple stop caring. I already went throughout a similar situation in my life.

[Heart]

My gender is very much stable, so I find this interesting and a wee bit strange :P

For those that answer the poll, what does it actually feel like to have your gender change? Is it a slow thing that you barely notice, or very obvious?

VERY confusing, at least for the first few years I was genderfluid :P

Now, though, it's just background noise. I've gotten used to it, so I check in to see my gender every once in a while, if I am in severe discomfort and suspect it might be dysphoria, but otherwise pretty much ignore it.

[Small Lady]

I'm genderfluid, but I was more masculine a few years back in college. I could be myself, and I was surrounded by new people who weren't family or old friends. Now that I'm out of college, I'm more female, with my identity changing maybe every 2-3 weeks (if that). I haven't really been changing my appearance lately, and I'm really confused as to why. Maybe it's because I've accepted both sides of me and don't feel the need to do it anymore? It's quite puzzling to me.

[Crystalia]

I am genderfluid, by-and-large I rest at androgyne, usually a bit more feminine than masculine, but sometimes a little more so. On occasion I am fully a woman, and on very rare occasion a man, but there are also times when I am void of either masculinity and femininity. My rate of fluidity isn't constant, but I generally swing more feminine than standard at least once in a week. I haven't had enough experience since I really pinpointed all this back in March to have a good indication of how often I am woman or man, but the null points kinda creep in whenever.

I don't know my chromosomes--likely enough they are XY, but I've been curious a while now whether I'm one of those rare intersex who go under the radar. Maybe someday I'll ask my PCP to add that into one of my lab work requests and know for certain.

I've never been tested for neurodiversity, either, though I do display some traits of dyslexia. I don't know a lot about autism or other neurodiverse conditions, so I can't confirm or rule those out. I'm also not ambidextrous, but better with my left hand than pure right-handedness should allow.

I can't say whether I'm in charge when my mannerism or presentation change. Quite a bit of it seems to be subconscious; my wife points out changes in my manner that I don't even realize I've affected. I also tend, in my androgyne and woman modes, to dress in a very feminine manner, and to use makeup when possible, to drown out the overwhelming masculine look of my body, though I probably am exaggerating the masculine features in my mind.

I'm not out with many people, but everybody who knows cooperates to a high extent. I wish those closest to me would realize how important their acknowledgement of my feminine is and address it more, but I'm also very non-confrontational and desire harmony over discord. Sorry, Eris. ;)

I've been to two different therapists. The first didn't have a clue about transgender issues and what any of us go through. She was helpful with general advice, but as far as gender issues go, I was giving a lot more than I got. The second, themself, identifies as queer, and I found some common ground with them. Our sessions ended as we were able to get me back on my feet, figuratively. Unfortunately, they've moved back East to be with family, so I can't go back to them should I have need.

Most of my dysphoria is mild, but I have had a few distressing episodes.

The first distressing episode, I woke up fully a woman one morning, fully aware of it for the first time. I was distraught that instead of female anatomy, mine was male. Probably would have been worse if I had all my body hair (one thing all my genders can agree doesn't belong!). Since, I've gone through having phantom body parts, being distressed at the parts I do have, and despairing confusion over what, other than electrolysis, I can modify that would suit all my genders (e.g.: hormones to redistribute body fat and make my body hair finer, though I wouldn't want to have breasts permanently; higher voice when more feminine or completely a woman; smaller feet (I know, not even strictly possible)).

Hope this helps some!

[Heart]

Most of my dysphoria is mild, but I have had a few distressing episodes.

The first distressing episode, I woke up fully a woman one morning, fully aware of it for the first time. I was distraught that instead of female anatomy, mine was male. Probably would have been worse if I had all my body hair (one thing all my genders can agree doesn't belong!). Since, I've gone through having phantom body parts, being distressed at the parts I do have, and despairing confusion over what, other than electrolysis, I can modify that would suit all my genders (e.g.: hormones to redistribute body fat and make my body hair finer, though I wouldn't want to have breasts permanently; higher voice when more feminine or completely a woman; smaller feet (I know, not even strictly possible)).

Fun fact: sometimes HRT in MTF folks can in fact make your feet smaller. I have no idea why, I just know it's happened ;) If you want breasts sometimes but not all the time, you could also try breast forms; they are basically fake breasts, shaped to look like you have breasts and are wearing a bra for them. They work really well under clothing. It doesn't help so much with the naked parts of your day, but it can help when you're dressed.

[Blaze]

I'm bigender (female/male type) and my gender doesn't really fluctuate. It just feels like I'm female and male at the exact same time. I realized that it has never really changed in my entire life. I've always felt like both consistently, even as a kid. I do experience dysphoria, but half of me loves how feminine I look and the other half feels wrong. So, it doesn't feel like true dysphoria, since it doesn't really make me dislike my body.

[cosmosredshift7]

Genderfluid, moving between boy, girl, agender, and androgyne. Agender 60% of the time, boy 12%, androgyne 25%, and girl 3%, very rarely. Usually, I can tell by looking in a mirror and perceiving exactly WHAT i seem to look like.

Usually, I see a 'thing/person,' where I don't feel like I have a gender; that I'm just very feminine looking. It's then that how I dress doesn't really matter to me, though I usually would prefer to bind over not.

When I am androgyne, I notice how I like both feminine (how pretty I am, how thin my waist is compared to my hips) and masculine (how tall i am, how my voice is relatively deep for a female, my short hair) things about myself, and generally dress feminine but bind my chest.

Then, when I'm a guy, depending on if my dysphoria is acting up, I can have problems like where I want to go on a low dose of T so badly because of how feminine I look does not match how masculine I feel, and how I want to have top surgery so badly. Most of the time, the majority of my better, more comfortable guy days, just wearing baggy clothes makes me feel better because they hide my curves.

As for how often my gender changes- it can change from one day to the next, or I can be one gender for up to 3 - 4 days straight.

Finally, I originally started having my friends at college use 'Liz and she/her' and 'Gale and he/him', depending on whether I bound my chest or not, and if I was wearing my wig (after cutting my hair short), but eventually two things happened. The first being that i figured out I was experiencing more than two genders (agender + female), and that I would rather just have the stationary name Gale with he/him pronouns.