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WTF is happening?


29M

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So over the last few months I started trying dating sites, mostly out of boredom and curiosity. I found that most people just wanted sex and honestly that wasn't such a big surprise, but what I found was that I actually liked having control over another person's attraction. You can make anybody want you in any way if you phrase something correctly, and I like having that power. I know that sounds messed up, but for someone who is constantly ignored in life by everyone it felt good. But here's the real question, the big one. I was intimate with more than one person during this period of time and I'm still currently intimate with a person, and I actually enjoyed parts of it but I don't really need it in a relationship. Romance is completely fine with me, in fact I'm down with being romantic with anyone, but I'm also fine with having casual intimate relationships as well. It's just weird to wrap my mind around, and so I thought I would write about it.

Have any of you had similar experiences?

Am I still asexual even if I causal physical interactions with multiple partners?

I'm just trying to figure everything out, and this has been going on in my head for awhile now. Any opinions are appreciated.

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Tarfeather

You can make anybody want you in any way if you phrase something correctly, and I like having that power.

Now that sounds like a useful ability to have..

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You have discovered the superpower of manipulation, use it wisely. ;)

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I actually enjoyed parts of it but I don't really need it in a relationship. Romance is completely fine with me, in fact I'm down with being romantic with anyone, but I'm also fine with having casual intimate relationships as well.

Enjoyment and desire/yearning are two different things, they're just typically paired. So question is, do you just enjoy sex or do you desire it? And do you feel romantically about anyone or desire a romantic relationship? Do you pursue sex or romance or are you just indifferent and if someone proposes it then you're fine with doing so?

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I actually enjoyed parts of it but I don't really need it in a relationship. Romance is completely fine with me, in fact I'm down with being romantic with anyone, but I'm also fine with having casual intimate relationships as well.

Enjoyment and desire/yearning are two different things, they're just typically paired. So question is, do you just enjoy sex or do you desire it? And do you feel romantically about anyone or desire a romantic relationship? Do you pursue sex or romance or are you just indifferent and if someone proposes it then you're fine with doing so?

It's more enjoyment of the act, like I can get out of my head for a bit when it's happening. I don't have the desire for it though, and I guess you could say I feel indifferently about sex. But romance, that's a different story. I feel the desire to be that one special person to someone, to be someone's number one priority and it hasn't happened yet. Yes I'm fine with having a sexual relationship, but all I really want is someone to hang out with and talk too.

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OutsideObserver

Yes I'm fine with having a sexual relationship, but all I really want is someone to hang out with and talk too.

I think most people want this, only they want and/or need the sexual relationship too. I think you'll be fine.

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Asexuals can enjoy sex or be sex indifferent, but they just never desire it.

And do you feel romantically about people or do you just desire a romantic relationship?

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violinspecialist

Wait. She said she basically manipulated people. Because she was ignored in life but now she felt good about having attention. Doesn't this sound like she was sexual all that time but was denied the attention. Then she rephrased her sexual disposition into being an "asexual" making others feel that she is elevated and truly desired.

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^ Possibly.

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