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I don't know my gender


The-world-is-quiet-here

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The-world-is-quiet-here

Lately (for the past couple days) I haven't known what my gender is. The good thing is, this isn't as upsetting as I thought it would be. I don't really know what else to say about this. I could say I feel masculine, or agender, or neutrois, but none of them are quite right.

Has anyone else experienced this? How do you deal with it?

As a side note, I'm wearing men's deodorant, and I feel like I should act more masculine than I feel. It feels like I'm not living up to my own expectations.

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Yep, me too, I've got no idea. "trans guy" seems to approximate/describe well enough... And I'm fine with this.

Don't force yourself to live up to the expectations. FAAB people complain about not behaving masculine enough a lot, but really, you don't have to act like someone you're not , that's what it's all about, about freely being yourself. You don't need to act like a "real man" in order to wear cologne and you don't have to act like a woman at all to like flowery parfume. There is no test to pass.

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Little Sparrow

Gender is a difficult thing to figure out. For me it's a case of 'the more I learn, the less I know'...

If pressed for a definition of my gender, I'd go with androgyne. Otherwise, I don't really know either, but it doesn't bother me. I have the body of a woman, so everybody sees me as a woman (regardless of what I wear). 'Woman' is not something I completely identify with, but it will do for everyday interactions. 'Man' would feel wrong to to me. Since I experience no dysphoria regarding my body, I'm content to go with the flow and not worry about a label.

I wear men's deodorant, too. It's called 'Extra Fresh', and that can't be a bad thing, can it? I also use facewash, moisturiser and shower gel labelled 'for men'. They smell nice and seem to be good for my skin. There is a certain element of contrariness involved as well. When I see something called 'for men', I think: 'Oh yeah? We'll see about that!'

I go through more feminine and more masculine phases, though I have been in a masculine phase for years now. Doesn't mean it will last forever.

It's interesting what you say about not living up to your own expectations. I don't know if you mean the same thing, but sometimes, when I'm in a masculine phase, I fancy something a bit more feminine, and I feel like I'm not allowed, like I'd be letting my masculine self down. Which is pretty silly, since it's like one side of myself being in disagreement with the other, but they're both part of me.

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Otherwise, I don't really know either, but it doesn't bother me. I have the body of a woman, so everybody sees me as a woman (regardless of what I wear). 'Woman' is not something I completely identify with, but it will do for everyday interactions. 'Man' would feel wrong to to me. Since I experience no dysphoria regarding my body, I'm content to go with the flow and not worry about a label.

I'm exactly the same as Little Sparrow here :3 although I consider myself a woman, or maybe the label demigirl would fit better, I don't know, I'm not really bothered about gender.

Lately (for the past couple days) I haven't known what my gender is. The good thing is, this isn't as upsetting as I thought it would be.

It's good that it doesn't upset you too much.

Maybe the question is, what are your own expectations? Maybe they should adapt themselves to your identity. How can a fluid gender always conform to your expectations if your expectations aren't fluid? It'd be stressful to always try to conform. Maybe you can accept that it's bound to change a lot. I don't know, I don't experience much gender fluidity but I just see a potential difficulty of trying to adjust something fluid to something fixed. Hope that helps :) :cake:

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