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Hello everyone!


Irelandaz

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I'm new, so I will introduce myself. I'm 18 years old and live in the USA. I am an aromantic asexual and I am agender. I use they/them pronouns.

I've never understood relationships of the romantic kind. When all my friends started dating I just figured oh I'll do that when I'm older. I always had an image in my head of being married in the future and having kids but I never thought of the parts of my life before that happens, mostly I just hoped someone would pop up and then kids would just poof out of no where. I knew that is not how it works but I decided in the future that I will like someone because "everyone" does and that's "what you do." Yeah that never happened.

I dated a guy in 8th grade for a few months. It was awkward. My friend kept giving me tips and encouraged me to hold his hand. I hated it. He wanted to kiss me and I said I didn't want to. We broke up because we went to different schools. Then in 9th grade a guy asked me out. We went on one date and that was it.

I think I've always known I don't like/want sex but just ignored it/was confused. I don't mind talking about it (like making jokes or things of that nature), but when I picture myself in that situation I feel repulsed. So I just don't think about it.

The aromantic thing took me longer to figure out, probably by the end of 10th grade I started to use the label (same with being agender). I do sometimes like the idea of romantic stuff for fictional characters in books or anime. I don't mind friends/strangers being romantic around me. Being in a romantic relationship just makes me feel awkward but not repulsed.

I guess I wouldn't mind being in a QPR. For instance I could imagine sharing a living space with someone and co-parenting with them. Just no sexual or romantic things, we would just be very, very close friends. I don't really know what I want.

Can anyone relate?

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Starry Sky

Welcome to AVEN!! I can relate a lot of things you mentioned! Like assuming I'll eventually like someone because everyone does and knowing that I don't like or want sex but just ignored that. I actually do mind when people are romantic around me because it makes me feel so... weird. :wacko: What you said about a QPR is something I might be open to, though! Anyways I hope you enjoy being a member here!!

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Hi, I like your rainbow rose icon. :)

I always had an image in my head of being married in the future and having kids...I decided in the future that I will like someone because "everyone" does and that's "what you do." Yeah that never happened.

This is just what I always thought (except I didn't know about asexuality and aromanticism until a few years ago).

I'm 42 now so it has definitely got too late for it to happen to me!

Welcome to AVEN, it's a friendly place and hopefully you'll find it helpful. :)

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Welcome to AVEN! :cake: Thank you for sharing your story with us! It's great that you joined this awesome community. : ) I think you'll find a lot of people that can relate to you here. We're really supportive and friendly, so don't hesitate to join in the conversations! I also think your ideal situation sounds nice...co-parenting with someone you love, but not someone you love in the romantic/sexual sense. That would be great. : ) Take your time exploring, and I hope you enjoy being a member!

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DragonflytotheMoon

Hello & welcome, AM. For children, I always recommend fostering & adopting. My husband & I have done the former briefly. I don't know how agencies view two good friends as prospective parents, but, to me, what matters, is that they're able to provide a loving, nurturing & stable home. I'm sure that's several years down the road for you (if it does happen), but, I wanted to throw that out there. Hope that you enjoy your time here & make many new friends.

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