Movie Sex Scenes

[n.triteleia]

Okay, so this is sort of an odd thing that I've been noticing, and I'm just wondering if there are other aces who also experience this. So, when I'm watching a TV show or a movie or something with someone, and a sex scene comes on screen, the person I'm with immediately becomes embarrassed, averts his or her eyes, and, in the case of my parents, tries to cover mine (even though I'm almost 18). I just don't understand why they react like that. I mean, it's just sex. If it's rape on screen, I totally understand that because the situation is totally different, but if it's just sex then I don't see the reason to look away. I don't feel anything when I see that. Is this lack of reaction "normal", or at least am I not the only one who doesn't experience something?

[Peachyy]

My best friend will turn the movie off, go to scene selections, and skip over it. (AND ITS REALLY ANNOYING).

My mother used to leave the room, even though she never cared if I saw screen sex, she just couldn't watch it with me. Now? I think we've survived a few movies but she still cant *not* make a joke or say *something*.

[binary suns]

personally i feel uncomfortable watching sex scenes because it feels almost like it shouldn't happen, to me. most cases, it feels so awkward and like... like it's way too soon for them to be THIS into each other. I advert my eyes because it feels too vulnerable to me.

[teeq]

I can relate to you. If it's not overly elaborate or abusive, sex in movies doesn't make me feel much of anything and I usually just find sex scenes to be unnecessary (unless they're somehow crucial to the plot of the movie; though, let's be honest, that doesn't happen often).

I think a lot of people feel uncomfortable watching sex on screen (with company) because sometimes sex is still considered a taboo subject. People tend to blow it out of proportion; there's literally nothing "indecent" or otherwise "special" about sex so when watching a movie for me it's just kind of... there.

I mean, I'd rather it not be there but I guess if the filmmaker had no other way of showing the formation of a "deep connection" between the characters without them having to partake in intercourse, I'm just gonna have to sit through it.

Then again, maybe some people think of sex as a very "private thing" and that's why watching sex scenes with others might make them uncomfortable or embarrassed? I'm just guessing by now, to be honest; but anyway! Yeah, I think your reaction is normal, especially since you are probably not too interested in sex yourself (being ace/gray-a).

[Still]

I just find them boring and pointless in most cases. It's pretty awkward for to me watch them in the company of others too, probably because I usually try to avoid the subject in conversations and whatever too.

[starry-night-sky]

Are sexual people "turned on" by sex scenes? If so, then it might be uncomfortable for a lot of people to be turned on when being with a friend or a relative.

Sex scenes don't really bother me unless they're too long and too detailed or happen too often. I just watched "Blue is the warmest colour" and there were several detailed sex scenes. When the first scene came up it was okay, not something I would have needed but it didn't bother me. But then I reached a point where it was just annoying, like yes, I know you are passionate with each other, yes, I know you have great sex, it's okay, I don't want to see more of it.

[AceInhibitor]

My little brother always used to tell me to leave the room whenever we watched Misfits when there was a sex scene in it. Which amuses me, because I'm older. I don't know. My reaction varies. I feel uncomfortable when there's other people there, my dad walked in while me and my friend were watching Love Actually, it's odd chatting to your father while two people are pretending to go at it. Generally I just think sex scenes aren't particularly interesting and wait for them to end. But I think there's a social expectation that sex is private and watching sex scenes with other people there is something you should feel awkward about, so you feel awkward because it's expected? I'm usually just a little confused.

[DragonflytotheMoon]

Some people just get uncomfortable & embarrassed. I did, somewhat, when I was younger & something like that came on when I was watching a show or movie with my grandma. Otherwise, it doesn't bother me, though, often I find it unnecessary. I don't mind seeing kissing sometimes. As I view that as more affectionate or romantic. Even if it's sometimes portrayed differently in the scene.

[DragonflytotheMoon]

Sorry double post

[R_1]

The only sex scene I am ok with are ones that aren't too explicit visually or auditionary, those that are not that way make a show worse for me. And they have to be relevant.

[darknova42]

As a sexual who has felt uncomfortable and embarrassed when watching a movie with a sex scene, I can only give you speculations as to why I felt that way.

The degree of discomfort varies depending on who is watching it with you. I'll go through several scenarios from "completely uncomfortable/embarrassed" to "well, this is awkward?"

Your parents still think of you as their child. They don't want to even acknowledge the possibility that you could have sex in theory. For me, I don't want to EVER think of my parents as sexuals. I don't need or want my brain, on any level, accidentally imagining that. *cringe*

Not to mention there's the more primitive part of the brain where different instincts come from, one of which being taboos against incest. The instinct is there to prevent inbreeding, but the icky feeling gets triggered by sex "happening" where you can see it, even if it's only on a tv screen.

I watched this Japanese film called "Old Boy". In it there's a sex scene between 2 characters that are brother and sister. SO F*#$ING AWKWARD!!! Thankfully it was short, but for those few moments I had to pretend my sisters didn't exist just to get through it.

Then there was the time we thought it'd be a good idea to watch "Matrix Reloaded" as a family.

When it comes to watching something like that with friends, I suppose it's a bit different. I think it gets awkward because sexuals do have reactions to such scenes. Being horny together with someone you don't intend to have sex with and knowing they might be horny too?

*shrugs*

Why is it uncomfortable and embarrassing? Well, it just is.

[Telecaster68]

My theory is that most people are relating what they're seeing back to themselves and not just with sex scenes - fMRI monitoring has shown that the same parts of our brains light up as if we were actually involved (motor control areas when we're watching tennis, for example. Monkeys do this as well). So those of us who are sexual, are kind of relating back what's going on to us, and we know other people are doing the same, and if it's a group of friends, or family, it feels inappropriate to be having sexual thoughts at that moment. And we know they're feeling awkward too, which just makes it more awkward.

My wife's functionally asexual and I feel mildly awkward when there are sex scenes in a show we're watching together, as sex is a source of tension between us. Oddly enough, I don't think she feels awkward about it. I think it's just another bit of dramatic action for her, because she has no particular investment in sex one way or the other.

[binary suns]

both of those seem a bit far-fetched to me lol...

now that I think about it, I'd almost expect it to be this simple: sex is a private thing, and so seeing it is embarrassing. it's like, like if you walked into your classroom and your teach was standing there butt naked teaching the class. you'd blush and avert your eyes. why wouldn't it be the same with sex scenes in movies? just because it's a fictional character doesn't mean it doesn't seem public all of a sudden.

and I guess if that assumption is true, it'd be different with porn because I mean the first time you look at porn I'm sure you were embarrassed. but with porn, you are purposefully looking at it, and looking at it in your private room. like if you looked at porn in the library you'd probably blush and try to minimize or close out the window real fast right?

[El-not-so-ace]

Yeah, I once explained to someone how I felt about these scenes... I said that it's such a private moment that it feels awkward to eavesdrop on it. Kind of like having two friends go at it on the in front of you.

Let's just say that I got weird looks so I don't share my thoughts about that anymore...

Oh and part of it actually goes in line with my low self-confidence. Watching people with perfect make-up, bodies and skin do that somehow reinforces it in my mind that someone like me wouldn't deserve even 5% of that attention from someone I love. I'm trying to work hard on decreasing these thoughts though... :/

[HighDrive]

It is interesting how many people have been culturally conditioned to feel shame about sex. Specially knowing that that's one of the mental control tactics religions use to keep people subservient.

There is nothing unnatural about sex.feeling embarased by it is a cultural imposition. If you are watching a movie with your natural parents it is close to 100% sure they are familiar with sex.

Of course, gratuitous sex or nudity in movies is annoying. the same can be said for an unnecessary long conversation or gratuitous violence or anything that distracts from the movie itself.

It just highlights a bad director.

As a sexual, when I'm looking at good movie with a good sex scene that adds value to theovie, I don't get aroused. Watching movie and involved in the story.

For gratuitous sex and nudity I watch porn... in private.

[songchick]

My mother and I both talk back at the TV:

"Oh come on."

We like Game of Thrones because people die a lot during sex.