Demisexual - sexual relationship

[Fairystuff]

Im wondering if anyone can relate or help me understand this. I am demisexual, so technically there should be no problem having a relationship with a sexual person if im sexually attracted to them; but I dont feel comfortable in this type of relationship and feel like i couldnt be involved with a sexual person. Just lately im finding it difficult just being in society. I feel like i cant relate to anyone and I feel frustrated; I dont know if this why I have an issue with a mixed relationship or whether its just normal for me to want a demisexual/asexual partner? Does anyone feel the same?

Edit: i know this means ill probably have to remain single. After giving it some more thought i think its just because i dont understand sexual people and i dont think ill ever understand their experience

[nanogretchen4]

I'm demisexual. I have basically no way to control or predict who I'm going to have feelings for. If I am attracted to someone I assume it won't happen again for several years. My choices are to try to get into a relationship with that person or just remain single. So if they were on board I would probably try to make it work as best I could regardless of their sexual orientation. The optimum outcome would be a hetero or bisexual man or a lesbian or bisexual woman. I haven't had any incompatibility issues with sexuals once attracted to them. If I somehow ended up in a relationship with an asexual that wouldn't be ideal but I might be able to adapt better than some sexuals. Another demisexual would be the worst. I'd have to deal with my super slow unreliable attraction issues plus theirs too. But if against all odds we both happened to be attracted to each other, then awesome. That would then be effectively like dating any other sexual.

[Delphic Oracle]

Im wondering if anyone can relate or help me understand this. I am demisexual, so technically there should be no problem having a relationship with a sexual person if im sexually attracted to them; but I dont feel comfortable in this type of relationship and feel like i couldnt be involved with a sexual person.

Well, this is a bit of a chicken-and-egg problem you're presenting. A demi needs emotional connection and trust (i.e. "being comfortable") in order to move from attraction to desire. You'll need to do some serious considering of what the source of your discomfort is.

Just lately im finding it difficult just being in society. I feel like i cant relate to anyone and I feel frustrated; I dont know if this why I have an issue with a mixed relationship or whether its just normal for me to want a demisexual/asexual partner? Does anyone feel the same?

Obligatory "what is normal?"

There's certainly pluses to finding a partner who is innately oriented similar to you, it removes the burden of having to explain these very complex topics and the risk of rejection or ridicule once you've opened the topic. But if you think about it, that's true of basically any serious, emotionally mature relationship.

Could this be some of the trepidation you're feeling, that you'd be opening yourself up to rejection, especially after making significant enough investment to have even reached the point of potential desire?

Edit: i know this means ill probably have to remain single. After giving it some more thought i think its just because i dont understand sexual people and i dont think ill ever understand their experience

Try to work on this, it's a two-way street. You'd be asking the sexual person to have an open mind, the same has to be returned. Even if you don't "understand" the other perspective, it is okay to admit this to each other and still be willing to listen and keep your partner's preferences and tendencies in mind.

If one partner loves French cuisine and the other partner Chinese, do they have to "understand" why in order to respect each others preferences? Isn't it still possible for them to happily and enthusiastically take their partner to a restaurant that provides their beloved culinary style, knowing it makes them happy?