Jump to content

Hello?


Megabyte

Recommended Posts

Well hi there. I'm kinda terrible at introducing myself, but I suppose I'll do my best.

I'm Megabyte, it's a clever play on my real name and my most common username, because Megabyte is a computer term and such. I don't know, I just like it. I go by Meg for short most of the time though.

I'm an almost 17 year old asexual-panromantic girl, growing up in one of the most conservative towns you could possibly imagine. My sexuality is a relatively new revelation to me; like a lot of my important realizations, like my depression and social anxiety, this was an extremely retrospective one, because I'm always too caught up in the moment to realize things. After my boyfriend of two and a half years and I broke up, I looked back and realized that not once in our entire relationship had I ever been physically attracted to him. Sure, I could recognize that he was attractive, but it was nothing more than "oh hey your eyes are pretty" or something along those lines. Then I realized that I never actually had felt sexually attracted to someone in my life, even when I went through my rebellious phase of watching porn to feel like I had some control over my life. I literally watched porn for the plot, how lame is that?

The whole panromantic part came when I realized that nothing really mattered to me in a person except personality. I feel emotional attachment so strongly with everyone that I come into contact with that any friendship could easily have become a romantic relationship, had I not steered it in a different direction. So I guess I'd say I'm panromantic with a preference for boys, just because it makes my life a hell of a lot easier.

Yeah, that's the bare basics of my life. This whole realization that I was asexual has actually kinda sucked over the past few months, it makes me worry if I'll ever have a normal relationship like I've always wanted even though I'm completely uninterested in sex, aside from slight morbid curiosity. Plus I'm worried about telling the people around me. I've only come out to my ex, one of my friends who was interested in me in a way where I knew my asexuality would get in the way, and my best friend. Does anyone have any advise on that kind of stuff?

Also, I have a chronic worry that I'll be wrong about something about myself xP Like when I was depressed a few years back I completely doubted myself and pretended it didn't exist, when in all likelihood I'm chemically depressed and have desperately needed treatment for at least six years if it's situational depression. All that to say that I tend to doubt how I feel, which makes me confused and anxious.

Buuuut that's pretty much it~

Link to post
Share on other sites
Biggles XD

Hi Meg and welcome to AVEN!

I'm sorry to hear that your last relationship didn't work out. A lot of people on here can definitely relate to your story because many of us have been in the same situation ourselves. You actually sound a lot like me and I totally remember being there myself.

Regarding advice on "coming out" I told a few of my close friends and they were all really cool about it. I personally did't make a big fuss about being asexual and panromantic because I figured that if I make it a big deal then others will too. You can tell as many people as you like, be that everyone or no one. It's totally up to you what you do but just remember that you're exactly the same now as you have been your entire life, you just now identify differently just like if you were to change your name.

I'm glad that you've found us and I know that you'll definitely make some great new friends.

If you'd like someone to talk to about anything or just to make a friend then please feel free to PM me :)

Link to post
Share on other sites
DragonflytotheMoon

Hello & welcome, Meg. You might have some demi in you as well. Since you mentioned the strong emotional attachment. That type of bond is only something I've had with a few people. What's even more important to me is an intellectual connection. That's even more rare for me. I am a pan/demi romantic & a grace (sexual). Hope that you enjoy your time here, learn more about yourself & make many new friends.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Starry Sky

Welcome to AVEN, Meg!! It's ok to identify with what you feel is right currently. If, in the future, you feel like something is is more suitable to how you should identify then you can alway switch to that : ) It's tough to know for sure sometimes so I understand how doubtful you must be. I hope AVEN will be helpful to you and I hope you enjoy being a member!!

ba528131-2cfc-4e83-a8de-f6a2ae33a5ef_zps

Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome to AVEN! :cake: Thank you for your introduction. I'm glad that you found your way here! : ) The others already gave you some great advice...like they said, this place is filled with supportive and friendly people that can relate to your experiences. It can take some time to figure things out, and sometimes things do change, but that's ok! Just go with what feels right....there's no right or wrong in how you feel. Best wishes, and I hope you enjoy being a member!

chocolate-fudge-cake-complete.jpg

Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you for all the welcomes, everyone! I've been looking around and this seems like a wonderful place, and I'm very glad to be here <3

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...