Paradise_Lost Posted May 23, 2016 Share Posted May 23, 2016 I am someone who has lived a pretty 'pure' life. The lifestyle I lived was very celibate. Whether you call it lack of opportunity or lack of attraction I dont know. But since I lived that lifestyle, is it wrong to hope for my partner to have lived a similar lifestyle? I am someone who is attracted to simple, sober, disciplined women who have also lived a life of celibacy or focused on other areas of life than getting laid. Is it wrong to feel that attraction? I only find those kinds of women attractive, and I dont think its mean in any way. Any opinions? Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
Andiamo Posted May 23, 2016 Share Posted May 23, 2016 You can't exactly control who you're attracted to and it's not wrong to find people attractive. I'm sure there are women out there who will find you attractive for it, same as you feel for them. Welcome to AVEN! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 23, 2016 Share Posted May 23, 2016 I wouldn't use the word "pure" personally because it makes it sound like aces are more pure (better) than sexuals :o which obviously we aren't.But yeah, one can't help who one is attracted to. Link to post Share on other sites
Snao Cone Posted May 23, 2016 Share Posted May 23, 2016 You're attracted to somebody who shares compatible values, goals, and lifestyle. It's entirely your right to feel your feelings and choose your relationships accordingly. Everyone's entitled to their own agency, so as long as you respect others' they should certainly respect yours. Link to post Share on other sites
Paradise_Lost Posted May 23, 2016 Author Share Posted May 23, 2016 I wouldn't use the word "pure" personally because it makes it sound like aces are more pure (better) than sexuals :o which obviously we aren't. But yeah, one can't help who one is attracted to. Thank you all for your comments. However, I didnt mean this post in a women hating/sexual hating way. Its more of a preference or even more respect towards people who have lived a certain lifestyle. And since asexuality/celibacy/abstinence labels were involved, I wanted to post about that. And yes, I do not judge people so 'purity' is perspective. But used that to somehow define the kind of lifestyle I think for me is more respectable and in-tune with my ideology. Link to post Share on other sites
God of the Forest Posted May 23, 2016 Share Posted May 23, 2016 Your attraction to someone who has lived this way is actually something that has been attributed to longevity in many relationships (similar values) so basically, if anything youre on the right track, not wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
Member54880 Posted May 23, 2016 Share Posted May 23, 2016 I understood right away that you don't mean it in any kind of elitist way, but rather how how important it feels to seek out someone who lives a celibate lifestyle since it's what you also live, having that common ground. Lifestyle is a major factor with compatibility, and lifestyle can also be related to personal values. It can be difficult or daunting to explain wanting to stay celibate to a potential partner, and why, but finding someone who already lives that lifestyle helps ease that pressure so much. Link to post Share on other sites
timewarp Posted May 23, 2016 Share Posted May 23, 2016 To be honest the connection between asexuality and "lifestyle" itches me a bit. If I had that sexual attraction/desire thing, I would probably do it like rabbits. Link to post Share on other sites
Isak Posted May 23, 2016 Share Posted May 23, 2016 I don't see anything wrong with looking for somebody who has lived a life similar to yours. We like what we like, there is nothing wrong with that, provided you are all consenting adults ;) Link to post Share on other sites
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