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Keeping my birth name or not?


Jorden

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I'm trying to figure out if i want to change my birth name it reminds me that everyone see's this name as "Female"

but in reality its unisex. I'm having a really hard time because i like my birth name but im scared people will connect it with my birth name and be jerks about it just because they can. I'm also struggling with not seeing it as female myself.....because for so long iv'e lived my life with it seen as "Female" by others. I wanted to try and get some advice or help on this because its really bothering me and iv'e been looking at other names but i keep going backwards thinking, i don't know what to do. (note: my birth name isn't jorden)

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PhoenixButterfly

If you don't mind me asking, what is your given name?

My name has always been Jessie, and I always hated it when people assumed it was short for Jessica. Now, most people I already know call me Jess and I'm so used to it now that I get a little annoyed when people call me Jessie. My mom named me after her great-grandmother and at first I didn't like my name, but it's really grown on me, so to speak, in recent years.

What other names have you considered? Is Jorden the new name you are trying out right now? There are a lot of gender-neutral names to choose from.

Some examples are: Addison, Alex, Avery, Bailey, Bernie, Bert, Billy, Bobby, Bryce, Carrie/Carey, Casey, Dakota, Dallas, Dana, Devan, Evan, Frankie, Freddie, George, Harry, Iggy, Izzy, Jazz, Jimmy, Jodie, Joe, Johnny, Jordan, Jude, Jules, Kim, Chris/Kris, Lee, Mackenzie, Madison, Matty, Monroe, Nat, Nicky, Ollie, Pat, Quinn, Raven, Ronnie, Ryan, Sage, Sandy, Sam, Sasha, Sharon, Shawn, Steve, Taylor, Tyler, and Wendy.

And those are just the ones I can think of off the top of my head, at the moment. I realize, of course, that most of these names have feminine or masculine connotations attached to them depending on your general location and age group. I hope I helped.

Also, I know how hard it is to have to experience social dysphoria. I recently came to the conclusion that I don't care if anyone thinks I look masculine or feminine. That's their problem, not mine. I am who I am, and that's all that really matters. (And the same goes for my name too.) That being said, it does still sting a little whenever my own mom says to me, "because you're a woman" and then spews out these unknowingly hurtful stereotypes. Right now, nobody in my daily life knows that I'm gender-neutral, but I plan to come out soon to a few people who already know that I've been questioning my gender identity. I'm not sure if they'll fully understand, but I know for certain they will be accepting and try their best to understand.

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If you don't mind me asking, what is your given name?

My name has always been Jessie, and I always hated it when people assumed it was short for Jessica. Now, most people I already know call me Jess and I'm so used to it now that I get a little annoyed when people call me Jessie. My mom named me after her great-grandmother and at first I didn't like my name, but it's really grown on me, so to speak, in recent years.

What other names have you considered? Is Jorden the new name you are trying out right now? There are a lot of gender-neutral names to choose from.

Some examples are: Addison, Alex, Avery, Bailey, Bernie, Bert, Billy, Bobby, Bryce, Carrie/Carey, Casey, Dakota, Dallas, Dana, Devan, Evan, Frankie, Freddie, George, Harry, Iggy, Izzy, Jazz, Jimmy, Jodie, Joe, Johnny, Jordan, Jude, Jules, Kim, Chris/Kris, Lee, Mackenzie, Madison, Matty, Monroe, Nat, Nicky, Ollie, Pat, Quinn, Raven, Ronnie, Ryan, Sage, Sandy, Sam, Sasha, Sharon, Shawn, Steve, Taylor, Tyler, and Wendy.

And those are just the ones I can think of off the top of my head, at the moment. I realize, of course, that most of these names have feminine or masculine connotations attached to them depending on your general location and age group. I hope I helped.

Also, I know how hard it is to have to experience social dysphoria. I recently came to the conclusion that I don't care if anyone thinks I look masculine or feminine. That's their problem, not mine. I am who I am, and that's all that really matters. (And the same goes for my name too.) That being said, it does still sting a little whenever my own mom says to me, "because you're a woman" and then spews out these unknowingly hurtful stereotypes. Right now, nobody in my daily life knows that I'm gender-neutral, but I plan to come out soon to a few people who already know that I've been questioning my gender identity. I'm not sure if they'll fully understand, but I know for certain they will be accepting and try their best to understand.

Sam was my birth name

Iv'e tried going with Jorden,Evan and iv'e thought about Jaxson

Jorden is the one i'm using at the moment.

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Lightning Blue Ray

The name that I go by is the first syllable of my name, and on its own, it's a unisex name, whereas my name is a girl's name. I do like my chosen name, and it does function like a nickname at times, in case I don't want to explain why I'm going by that name now.

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If you don't mind me asking, what is your given name?

My name has always been Jessie, and I always hated it when people assumed it was short for Jessica. Now, most people I already know call me Jess and I'm so used to it now that I get a little annoyed when people call me Jessie. My mom named me after her great-grandmother and at first I didn't like my name, but it's really grown on me, so to speak, in recent years.

What other names have you considered? Is Jorden the new name you are trying out right now? There are a lot of gender-neutral names to choose from.

Some examples are: Addison, Alex, Avery, Bailey, Bernie, Bert, Billy, Bobby, Bryce, Carrie/Carey, Casey, Dakota, Dallas, Dana, Devan, Evan, Frankie, Freddie, George, Harry, Iggy, Izzy, Jazz, Jimmy, Jodie, Joe, Johnny, Jordan, Jude, Jules, Kim, Chris/Kris, Lee, Mackenzie, Madison, Matty, Monroe, Nat, Nicky, Ollie, Pat, Quinn, Raven, Ronnie, Ryan, Sage, Sandy, Sam, Sasha, Sharon, Shawn, Steve, Taylor, Tyler, and Wendy.

And those are just the ones I can think of off the top of my head, at the moment. I realize, of course, that most of these names have feminine or masculine connotations attached to them depending on your general location and age group. I hope I helped.

Also, I know how hard it is to have to experience social dysphoria. I recently came to the conclusion that I don't care if anyone thinks I look masculine or feminine. That's their problem, not mine. I am who I am, and that's all that really matters. (And the same goes for my name too.) That being said, it does still sting a little whenever my own mom says to me, "because you're a woman" and then spews out these unknowingly hurtful stereotypes. Right now, nobody in my daily life knows that I'm gender-neutral, but I plan to come out soon to a few people who already know that I've been questioning my gender identity. I'm not sure if they'll fully understand, but I know for certain they will be accepting and try their best to understand.

Sam was my birth name

Iv'e tried going with Jorden,Evan and iv'e thought about Jaxson

Jorden is the one i'm using at the moment.

Sam is a really cool name, I like it a lot. I wouldn't perceive it as female, but it may be because I live in italy, where it definitely doesn't sound feminine along names like CARMELA, GIOVANNA, SERENA, VERONICA, SARA, MONICA... :blink:

I'm always for keeping the birth name, though, and only modify it a bit (as in Nikolas -> Niko) but you should really do what makes you most comfortable, you choose!

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PhoenixButterfly

If you don't mind me asking, what is your given name?

My name has always been Jessie, and I always hated it when people assumed it was short for Jessica. Now, most people I already know call me Jess and I'm so used to it now that I get a little annoyed when people call me Jessie. My mom named me after her great-grandmother and at first I didn't like my name, but it's really grown on me, so to speak, in recent years.

What other names have you considered? Is Jorden the new name you are trying out right now? There are a lot of gender-neutral names to choose from.

Some examples are: Addison, Alex, Avery, Bailey, Bernie, Bert, Billy, Bobby, Bryce, Carrie/Carey, Casey, Dakota, Dallas, Dana, Devan, Evan, Frankie, Freddie, George, Harry, Iggy, Izzy, Jazz, Jimmy, Jodie, Joe, Johnny, Jordan, Jude, Jules, Kim, Chris/Kris, Lee, Mackenzie, Madison, Matty, Monroe, Nat, Nicky, Ollie, Pat, Quinn, Raven, Ronnie, Ryan, Sage, Sandy, Sam, Sasha, Sharon, Shawn, Steve, Taylor, Tyler, and Wendy.

And those are just the ones I can think of off the top of my head, at the moment. I realize, of course, that most of these names have feminine or masculine connotations attached to them depending on your general location and age group. I hope I helped.

Also, I know how hard it is to have to experience social dysphoria. I recently came to the conclusion that I don't care if anyone thinks I look masculine or feminine. That's their problem, not mine. I am who I am, and that's all that really matters. (And the same goes for my name too.) That being said, it does still sting a little whenever my own mom says to me, "because you're a woman" and then spews out these unknowingly hurtful stereotypes. Right now, nobody in my daily life knows that I'm gender-neutral, but I plan to come out soon to a few people who already know that I've been questioning my gender identity. I'm not sure if they'll fully understand, but I know for certain they will be accepting and try their best to understand.

Sam was my birth name

Iv'e tried going with Jorden,Evan and iv'e thought about Jaxson

Jorden is the one i'm using at the moment.

Yeah, I guess I can see how people might think that Sam is a girl's name. It's often a nickname for Samantha or Samuel. It's not strictly a gender-neutral name because it's originally a nickname for both boys and girls. But if you really love the name Sam because you feel like it's gender-neutral, then you should definitely use it. Just tell people that you prefer to be called Sam and not Samantha. If they can't respect that, then do they really deserve your respect in return? That being said, it's easier for other people to fully love and accept you for who you truly are once you can fully love and accept yourself for who you truly are. I don't understand why so many people have a hard time with finding unconditional love for their loved ones.

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ChillaKilla

Sam is a really cool name, I like it a lot. I wouldn't perceive it as female, but it may be because I live in italy, where it definitely doesn't sound feminine along names like CARMELA, GIOVANNA, SERENA, VERONICA, SARA, MONICA... :blink:

I'm always for keeping the birth name, though, and only modify it a bit (as in Nikolas -> Niko) but you should really do what makes you most comfortable, you choose!

I relate... my given name is hyper-feminine and the moment I'm out in public and think I might be passing one of my family members or friends says "HEY _____!" and I cringe so hard :wacko: I'm even changing my middle name because it's so girly
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Sam sounds androgynous to me.

Sam is a really cool name, I like it a lot. I wouldn't perceive it as female, but it may be because I live in italy, where it definitely doesn't sound feminine along names like CARMELA, GIOVANNA, SERENA, VERONICA, SARA, MONICA... :blink:

I'm always for keeping the birth name, though, and only modify it a bit (as in Nikolas -> Niko) but you should really do what makes you most comfortable, you choose!

I relate... my given name is hyper-feminine and the moment I'm out in public and think I might be passing one of my family members or friends says "HEY _____!" and I cringe so hard :wacko: I'm even changing my middle name because it's so girly

I cringe when someone calls me my full birth name.

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ChillaKilla

Sam sounds androgynous to me.

Sam is a really cool name, I like it a lot. I wouldn't perceive it as female, but it may be because I live in italy, where it definitely doesn't sound feminine along names like CARMELA, GIOVANNA, SERENA, VERONICA, SARA, MONICA... :blink:

I'm always for keeping the birth name, though, and only modify it a bit (as in Nikolas -> Niko) but you should really do what makes you most comfortable, you choose!

I relate... my given name is hyper-feminine and the moment I'm out in public and think I might be passing one of my family members or friends says "HEY _____!" and I cringe so hard :wacko: I'm even changing my middle name because it's so girly

I cringe when someone calls me my full birth name.
I think I'll change my middle name to Ash, it's the same initial and amount of letters. Yay or nay?
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Sam sounds androgynous to me.

Sam is a really cool name, I like it a lot. I wouldn't perceive it as female, but it may be because I live in italy, where it definitely doesn't sound feminine along names like CARMELA, GIOVANNA, SERENA, VERONICA, SARA, MONICA... :blink:

I'm always for keeping the birth name, though, and only modify it a bit (as in Nikolas -> Niko) but you should really do what makes you most comfortable, you choose!

I relate... my given name is hyper-feminine and the moment I'm out in public and think I might be passing one of my family members or friends says "HEY _____!" and I cringe so hard :wacko: I'm even changing my middle name because it's so girly

I cringe when someone calls me my full birth name.
I think I'll change my middle name to Ash, it's the same initial and amount of letters. Yay or nay?

Sounds cool to me, but keep in mind I'm from Middle Europe.

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ChillaKilla

Sam sounds androgynous to me.

Sam is a really cool name, I like it a lot. I wouldn't perceive it as female, but it may be because I live in italy, where it definitely doesn't sound feminine along names like CARMELA, GIOVANNA, SERENA, VERONICA, SARA, MONICA... :blink:

I'm always for keeping the birth name, though, and only modify it a bit (as in Nikolas -> Niko) but you should really do what makes you most comfortable, you choose!

I relate... my given name is hyper-feminine and the moment I'm out in public and think I might be passing one of my family members or friends says "HEY _____!" and I cringe so hard :wacko: I'm even changing my middle name because it's so girly

I cringe when someone calls me my full birth name.
I think I'll change my middle name to Ash, it's the same initial and amount of letters. Yay or nay?

Sounds cool to me, but keep in mind I'm from Middle Europe.

You are?! Whoa... I never knew :lol: any reason to keep it in mind? I'm not sure I see what you mean
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Sam sounds androgynous to me.

Sam is a really cool name, I like it a lot. I wouldn't perceive it as female, but it may be because I live in italy, where it definitely doesn't sound feminine along names like CARMELA, GIOVANNA, SERENA, VERONICA, SARA, MONICA... :blink:

I'm always for keeping the birth name, though, and only modify it a bit (as in Nikolas -> Niko) but you should really do what makes you most comfortable, you choose!

I relate... my given name is hyper-feminine and the moment I'm out in public and think I might be passing one of my family members or friends says "HEY _____!" and I cringe so hard :wacko: I'm even changing my middle name because it's so girly

I cringe when someone calls me my full birth name.
I think I'll change my middle name to Ash, it's the same initial and amount of letters. Yay or nay?

Sounds cool to me, but keep in mind I'm from Middle Europe.

You are?! Whoa... I never knew :lol: any reason to keep it in mind? I'm not sure I see what you mean

I may not have the best feel for context of names in English.

So I can conclude that my English isn't the worst? ;)

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ChillaKilla

Sam sounds androgynous to me.

Sam is a really cool name, I like it a lot. I wouldn't perceive it as female, but it may be because I live in italy, where it definitely doesn't sound feminine along names like CARMELA, GIOVANNA, SERENA, VERONICA, SARA, MONICA... :blink:

I'm always for keeping the birth name, though, and only modify it a bit (as in Nikolas -> Niko) but you should really do what makes you most comfortable, you choose!

I relate... my given name is hyper-feminine and the moment I'm out in public and think I might be passing one of my family members or friends says "HEY _____!" and I cringe so hard :wacko: I'm even changing my middle name because it's so girly

I cringe when someone calls me my full birth name.
I think I'll change my middle name to Ash, it's the same initial and amount of letters. Yay or nay?

Sounds cool to me, but keep in mind I'm from Middle Europe.

You are?! Whoa... I never knew :lol: any reason to keep it in mind? I'm not sure I see what you mean

I may not have the best feel for context of names in English.

So I can conclude that my English isn't the worst? ;)

Okay I get what you're saying now! :lol: Your English is damn good tbh
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Sam sounds androgynous to me.

Sam is a really cool name, I like it a lot. I wouldn't perceive it as female, but it may be because I live in italy, where it definitely doesn't sound feminine along names like CARMELA, GIOVANNA, SERENA, VERONICA, SARA, MONICA... :blink:

I'm always for keeping the birth name, though, and only modify it a bit (as in Nikolas -> Niko) but you should really do what makes you most comfortable, you choose!

I relate... my given name is hyper-feminine and the moment I'm out in public and think I might be passing one of my family members or friends says "HEY _____!" and I cringe so hard :wacko: I'm even changing my middle name because it's so girly

I cringe when someone calls me my full birth name.
I think I'll change my middle name to Ash, it's the same initial and amount of letters. Yay or nay?

Sounds cool to me, but keep in mind I'm from Middle Europe.

You are?! Whoa... I never knew :lol: any reason to keep it in mind? I'm not sure I see what you mean

I may not have the best feel for context of names in English.

So I can conclude that my English isn't the worst? ;)

Okay I get what you're saying now! :lol: Your English is damn good tbh

I've been living in the UK for some time now, soooo.....

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Did you read Tad Williams' Otherland series?

Sam was my birth name

Iv'e tried going with Jorden,Evan and iv'e thought about Jaxson

Jorden is the one i'm using at the moment.

One of the characters there is named Sam and it takes a lot of pages till its revealed that they were born female....

Upon name choices (in general): Please have mercy with the world and abstain from the recent trend to find the wackoest spelling for something familiar sounding. I do see the benefit for an online persona. - How many Jaxson Smiths might be out there? - john.smith@aol.com is surely already taken... But honestly: there might be people who'll annoy a name bearer less if they can write names down without further instructions. - Just my 2 ct. But maybe you'll enjoy losing your hair over assisting their struggles? *bites tongue and isn't happy to need hats & caps now*

Another thought: Did your parents reveal plans how they'd have named you as their bio-son? - Do these sound bearable?(Or were they all wasted on your younger brothers?) :redface: yeah, I am aware that its not really cool to stick to parental plans but I'd think its shocking enough to be trans so why not emphasize that you want to keep & respect them?

Getting the "Samuel" into your official papers is a good idea though. - I suppose I might do something similar. - (I'm torn and this body here is far from suitable to try anything, so you probably spend more thoughts on the issue than me.)

Good luck & find comfort inside yourself!

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