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about "allosexual"


chronicallytrans

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chronicallytrans

i'm ace- and aro-spec and i have been wondering about the word "allosexual" for awhile. if allosexual refers to someone who experiences attraction, why doesn't it include ace-spec people? ace-spec folks experience attraction, even if it is less, so why are they ace and not allosexual? is it just because they call themselves ace-spec? lots of folks who don't know about the ace community would be considered ace-spec if they knew. are they still ace (even though they don't call themselves that), or are they allosexual? does that mean people can choose to identify into or out of allo privilege?

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Ummm...first can we NOT use the term allosexual. I haven't met ANY sexual people (including myself) who like it.

Secondly, I think there are a few misconceptions about sexual people. I prefer food to sex. I just do. I also prefer a few other activities and my sex drive is...well it's middle of the road to high but it's not something that I NEED another person for. I'd prefer it but I also don't want to have sex with somebody just because I'm horny and they're there. I mean I have had FWBs but even THEY were people that I consider friends first. I can't do random tindr hookups, It would lead to some type of attachment that, although not romantic in nature, could easily be misconstrued as romantic and that's if they'll be totally okay to do platonic shit earlier.

I guess on some level I'm some kind of demisexual but I don't see the point of using it as a label. I just prefer to say I'm sexual but I like to get to know people first. That's not to say that demisexuals don't exist but I just see the point in using the label for myself when sexual seems to fit just as well.

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Dollyrose09

From what I've understood of the term, allosexual refers to non-ace people so someone who knows their on the Ace-spectrum wouldn't use it. I'm iffy on using it tho because of the controversy in using this term to describe sexuals

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Member54880

Allosexual/sexual (I usually just use "non-asexual") generally refers to people who aren't asexual, demisexual nor gray-asexual. A distinction I've seen is that people who aren't asexual/gray-/demisexual experience sexual attraction in a consistent pattern. However, there is a lot of variation between them in how frequently or intensely they experience it (which is still separate from other factors like libido, and attitude towards sex, and how much they prioritize it).

There doesn't seem to be a clearly-defined cutoff for where the gray-asexual label ends, and because of that, I've seen some people describe themselves on being on the border and not knowing where they stand. That means it can be possible for two people who could be considered on this border to identify differently.

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WinterWanderer

(I agree with those above who don't like the term allosexual. To me, it just creates unnecessary barriers between sexuals and asexuals, as some sexuals find it demeaning. Idk.)

But as for your actual question... I agree with you that it can be confusing when people identify as part of the spectrum versus just identifying as sexual. Ace-spec people are technically sexual, just not to the same extent as other sexuals might be. (By the way, for that reason, some people here have suggested that instead of calling it an "asexual spectrum," sexual spectrum might be a better term.)

I think it just comes down to people's individual preferences in how they wish to identify. I can think of a number of reasons why someone would prefer to identify as part of the spectrum (say, gray-sexual) instead of identifying as sexual. For instance, it can be helpful when trying to explain to friends or a romantic partner that they're not often driven to have sex, or only desire sex in certain circumstances, or sometimes experience sexual desire but it quickly fades away.

But conversely, some people who fall into the gray category may not see the point in distinguishing themselves from sexuality as a whole, and will just go by sexual. It just depends on which term they find best suits their needs.

Idk, I've seen many different opinions on this. I'm interested in seeing how other people respond.

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aussiekirkland

I don't really understand the controversy with using allosexual.

1) most of us aren't using it to distance ourselves, merely as a simple term to establish aces and non aces in a given situation

2) yes I'm aware it lumps LGBT people with their oppressors but has anyone heard of monosexual? That's a term some MGA people find useful and it lumps gay and striaght people together. These terms shouldn't be seen as offensive as long as they're not being used in a homophobic way.

The problem is I do see a lot of aces use allosexual and similar terms in a homophobic way and it's So. Frustrating. Because they're ruining the availability of communication for the rest of us and giving us a bad rep. I saw it on tumblr yesterday and uurrgh I hate people

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Telecaster68

I thought 'allosexual' was just a synonym for 'sexual'. and personally I don't care which term is used, beyond the slight irritation that AVEN's made up another word where a perfectly good one existed - I've never heard or seen it used outside of AVEN.

Linguistically it kind of makes sense though - 'allo' means 'other', so it works in comparison to 'homo' (same), 'hetero' (different), 'a' (none). And I can see the politics behind it. For non-AVENites though, it's completely unnecessary.

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chronicallytrans

i think "non-ace" is the best term. if allosexual is bad, why is calling people "sexuals" any better?

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Telecaster68

I think "non-ace" is the best term.

It's a double negative though. Why not just use the positive?

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Telecaster68

To talk about us? Same reason a sexual person uses the term 'asexual'.

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Telecaster68

I just tagged onto the last few posts. I have no idea what the OP is about.

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For themselves, I meant. I thought that was the point the OP was making -- that asexuals should call themselves allosexual. Am I reading this wrong?

I don't think you are -- but I was very confused by the OP. For one thing, I don't think of myself as "ace spec"; I'm asexual.

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nanogretchen4

I think allosexual is a word AVEN made up for sexuals. None of the people referred to have adopted the word, so it's really only good for complaining about us behind our backs. But then it's only used on AVEN and we're right here listening, so that's mildly awkward.

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Telecaster68

And also, as far as I know, none of AVEN's sexuals really care about terminology very much.

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scarletlatitude

Ummm...first can we NOT use the term allosexual. I haven't met ANY sexual people (including myself) who like it.

^^ eh? vv

And also, as far as I know, none of AVEN's sexuals really care about terminology very much.

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(This in reply to the overall topic, not just Tele, I'm only quoting Tele because I agree with the definition he used)

I thought 'allosexual' was just a synonym for 'sexual'. and personally I don't care which term is used, beyond the slight irritation that AVEN's made up another word where a perfectly good one existed - I've never heard or seen it used outside of AVEN.

Linguistically it kind of makes sense though - 'allo' means 'other', so it works in comparison to 'homo' (same), 'hetero' (different), 'a' (none). And I can see the politics behind it. For non-AVENites though, it's completely unnecessary.

Yeah I researched this a while ago and the term was devised to mean ''someone who desires sex with people OTHER than on their own'' (like as opposed to masturbating, they desire sex with other people) also (if you go by the attraction definition) it means ''attracted to OTHER people''

Pretty much it just means ''wants sex with other people'' (because the 'allo' means other) so it was an all-encompassing term to include anyone who wants to have sex with anyone else (homo, bi, pan, hetero, and demis too of whatever gender-preference, etc)..

Allosexual is 'anyone who isn't asexual' (because asexuals don't innately want to have sex with anyone, ever (for their own pleasure anyway)

I think I lot of the people the OP is referring to as ''possibly ace spec'' are what would generally be called ''normal sexual people''... Some people just get confused about the definition of asexuality and assume it means ''most people who aren't hypersexual horn-dogs and even they can be ace-spec if they don't care what their sexual partners look like'' but yeah anyone who does desire sex with other people would be ''allosexual'', even demisexuals and 'grey-sexuals'. Technically (going by the way the term is defined) the only people who aren't allosexual are they people who don't have any desire to connect sexually with other people (for sexual and/or emotional pleasure) ever.

Ummm...first can we NOT use the term allosexual. I haven't met ANY sexual people (including myself) who like it.

^^ eh? vv

And also, as far as I know, none of AVEN's sexuals really care about terminology very much.

I've seen a lot of sexual people say they don't like the term which is why I never use it.

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Telecaster68

Really? Out of curiosity, where were these people?

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Really? Out of curiosity, where were these people?

Well Kisa for one, and if you search ''allosexual'' in the search box and go through all the old threads where it's discussed, you'll see sexual people saying they don't like it for various reasons.

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I somehow both hate the term and couldn't care less at the same time.

I would NEVER call myself allosexual.

I don't like the term allosexual. I believe distinction on sexuals and asexuals would be better.
Well, personally, I find it a singularly ugly-looking word and wouldn't use it except in the most dire of circumstances. I mean seriously, it's hideous.
Hi I'm sexual. Please just use the term sexual to refer to my sexuality.
I really dislike this term, too, and my romantic partner (a sexual person) doesn't like it, either.
I'm not ace and I would prefer to be called sexual over allosexual.
I am sexual. Allosexual is a ridiculous word.
Those are some of the quotes from sexuals (or aces who asked their sexual partners) in the first few threads I clicked.. no I think it was only two threads I clicked because im lazy haha.
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ChillaKilla

I actually like the term allosexual *vanishes*

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Blue Phoenix Ace

So, if I was explaining this out loud, using speech, it can be difficult to understand what I mean when I say "a sexual person". It sounds identical to "asexual person". Sure, you might be able to derive the intended meaning when I continue my sentence, but it's enough to cause a pause.

The only time I would use the word "allosexual" is during a discussion comparing asexuals to sexuals, just to make things clearer. Otherwise, it would be silly.

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I don't like "allosexual".

Per the OP, I also think it's silly to call asexuals, demis, and grays all "asexual" and only call the hypersexual folk allosexual. Surely, demis and grays are sexual, not asexual.

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I think the term is a waste of time and head space. We have a term for a sexual person- it's "sexual". We don't need another box to toss people, especially when a ton of people aren't going to use the box because they already have a box. It's like telling people "Hey, come move into this house that's exactly like the house you already have! It doesn't even have a better view!" Why? I understand that perhaps in casual conversation people were getting frustrated with having to heavily accent "a" before sexual so that people would know someone was talking about a sexual person, but frankly the term "sexual" has been widespread far longer than asexual has. Imo, people should find other ways around it, or just give us sexuals a cute nickname could be used interchangeably instead of being seen as a replacement.

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chronicallytrans

OP here- sorry if it's worded a bit weird. "ace-spec", the way i used it, refers to gray/demi/etc. aces. why are they considered ace instead of sexual? (a)sexuality exists on a continuous spectrum, not as a box for asexuals, a box for gray sexuals, and a box for sexuals, where everyone in each box experiences attraction the same way. there are people who don't call themselves ace but aren't really attracted to people. there are people who are (gray) ace who are hypersexual due to trauma or mental illness. a whole lot of people aren't sexually attracted to people they don't know well, but don't claim the demi label. what's the point of forcing people into one box or another if everyone's so different?

also, i know a lot of people who prefer "non-ace". because it refers to people who don't identify as ace, as opposed to "sexual" or "allosexual", which makes assumptions about people's sexual attraction and feelings and puts the focus on sex (not identity).

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