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embarassment, thinking i'm 'too/overly' sexual


Issitoq

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i'm sort of confused and embarassed about this, below:

i like a girl who is asexual. so far, seems like we click.

background: when i told her that i like her - adding that i can't really word my feelings towards her perfectly and i'm quoi/wtf-romantic anyway - she answered by saying no worries, she's wtf-romantic too and that basically she thinks about me "beyond friendship, whatever that means".

not long ago we took baby steps of physical intimacy: holding hands, kisses on different body parts such as face, forehead and hands/arms and talking a lot about non-sexual aspects of kink/bdsm (being curious, interested and willing to explore together if there's something common). she was not against one of my major kinks either - being bitten on her shoulder, to be exact, and actually enjoyed it.

and here comes that i started to feel like - i am a trampling weirdo.

because i'm not allosexual yet i'm able to experience sexual attraction. and now i may do. it's not crystal clear as most of my thoughts are neither directly sex-related, nor explicitly sexual. this looks like a minefield to me. the whole situation and my thoughts and fantasies about her are a mass of uncertainty. i don't want to rush or anything, of course - but these thoughts are eating me alive slowly, inside.

what if i'm irritating as being 'too/overly' sexual compared to her? what if my acts are rather sexual than purely sensual and they are unwanted and i'm not aware of that?! :unsure::blush:

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*hugs*

I fear meeting a first asexual partner too, (for the same reasons).

what if my acts are rather sexual than purely sensual and they are unwanted and i'm not aware of that?! :unsure::blush:

I can only suggest establishing and relying on feedback loops. Does your kinky role permit begging for an encouraging hand on your neck or head?

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I can only suggest establishing and relying on feedback loops. Does your kinky role permit begging for an encouraging hand on your neck or head?

oh, you're right! ^_^

we've discussed that the red-yellow-green light system may be useful - even during simple activities such as hugs - if words cannot be spoken so easily at the moment. but... me asking for a leading hand probably would be a better option for sure.

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