Issitoq Posted May 21, 2016 Share Posted May 21, 2016 i'm sort of confused and embarassed about this, below:i like a girl who is asexual. so far, seems like we click.background: when i told her that i like her - adding that i can't really word my feelings towards her perfectly and i'm quoi/wtf-romantic anyway - she answered by saying no worries, she's wtf-romantic too and that basically she thinks about me "beyond friendship, whatever that means".not long ago we took baby steps of physical intimacy: holding hands, kisses on different body parts such as face, forehead and hands/arms and talking a lot about non-sexual aspects of kink/bdsm (being curious, interested and willing to explore together if there's something common). she was not against one of my major kinks either - being bitten on her shoulder, to be exact, and actually enjoyed it.and here comes that i started to feel like - i am a trampling weirdo. because i'm not allosexual yet i'm able to experience sexual attraction. and now i may do. it's not crystal clear as most of my thoughts are neither directly sex-related, nor explicitly sexual. this looks like a minefield to me. the whole situation and my thoughts and fantasies about her are a mass of uncertainty. i don't want to rush or anything, of course - but these thoughts are eating me alive slowly, inside.what if i'm irritating as being 'too/overly' sexual compared to her? what if my acts are rather sexual than purely sensual and they are unwanted and i'm not aware of that?! Link to post Share on other sites
Busrider Posted May 21, 2016 Share Posted May 21, 2016 *hugs* I fear meeting a first asexual partner too, (for the same reasons). what if my acts are rather sexual than purely sensual and they are unwanted and i'm not aware of that?! I can only suggest establishing and relying on feedback loops. Does your kinky role permit begging for an encouraging hand on your neck or head? Link to post Share on other sites
Issitoq Posted May 21, 2016 Author Share Posted May 21, 2016 I can only suggest establishing and relying on feedback loops. Does your kinky role permit begging for an encouraging hand on your neck or head? oh, you're right! ^_^ we've discussed that the red-yellow-green light system may be useful - even during simple activities such as hugs - if words cannot be spoken so easily at the moment. but... me asking for a leading hand probably would be a better option for sure. Link to post Share on other sites
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