bathroom issues

[redberyl]

I'll be honest, I don't "get" the whole transgender thing (just like I suspect most people don't "get" the whole asexual thing), but I have nothing against them either. I'm asexual, your trans, he's gay, she's straight, who cares as long as we're not hurting anyone? Anyway, today at target my 7 year old daughter had to pee. We were in line and the bathrooms were right there, so I let her go in without me. She came right back out after a second. I asked what was wrong and she whispered "mommy, there's a man in there." I finished in line (2 people in front of me, so it took a bit). Then escorted her to the bathroom. A man in male clothing with a male haircut, but wearing lipstick (no other makeup) was just hanging out, not doing his business, just leaning against the sink. I went into the stall with her, then got out as fast as posssible. She of course, had questions. So now I'm stuck. First of all, how do I explain something that I really don't understand myself? What are the appropriate words to explain transgenderism to a 7 year old? Second, what exactly are the new rules for bathrooms? I don't have a problem with a transgender individual using the ladies room, but don't want random men hanging out there. (I suppose he could be trans just beginning the process of transitioning, but the amount of time he just stood there doing nothing makes me think probably not). In the past I would have alerted staff to the creepy guy in the ladies room, but is any guy with a tube of lipstick allowed in there now? I'm not looking to offend anyone, honestly looking for answers.

[Lost247365]

So let me get this straight, there was a guy dressed in every way like a guy other than wearing lipstick, in the womens room just hanging around making people uncomfortable?

Honestly, it sounds more like a Right Wing wacko trying to pretend to be trans in order to make a point to me to be honest.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/anti-lgbt-group-testing-target-restrooms_us_5727928ce4b01a5ebde63950

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2016/02/17/transgender-rule-washington-state-man-undresses-locker-room/80501904/

At least when they aren't screaming at innocent people or harrassing cis-women in the bathroom because they think they are trans:

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/mom-stages-wild-protest-target-transgender-bathroom-rules-article-1.2639507

http://www.dallasobserver.com/news/self-appointed-bathroom-cop-catches-dallas-woman-using-womens-restroom-8259104

http://www.rawstory.com/2016/05/woman-who-donated-hair-to-cancer-patients-mistaken-for-transgender-man-and-harassed-in-restroom/

http://www.singlemomtism.com/2016/05/i-went-to-target-and-someone-made-me.html

There is also a video made by a cis gender guy named Joey Salads or something like that where he throws on a bad wig and dress and goes into women's rerstrooms to intentionally cause problems and then came women have issues with transpeople in their restroom that was debunked:

The fact that he was just hanging out in their seems to confirm in my mind that it most likely was some RW nutjob.

Most everything I have seen or heard about the trans experience revolves around a transwoman spending long periods of time taking hormones, getting hair removal, and working on their general appearance before they ever start trying to present in public as women much less transitioning to the women's room. And when they do, they generally want to go in, do their business and get out like a normal woman, and not do anything that would get them "read" as being trans.

http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/news/what-its-like-to-use-a-public-bathroom-while-trans-20160331

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=180243.0

So, I find it EXCEPTIONALLY hard to believe the person you saw was trans himself. But, I do have to admit that these RWers have proven something to me. We should most definitely ban RW nutjobs from the women's room and probably the men's room too. They seem to be the real perverts who are harassing people.

[Niko.]

Yeah, sounds a "look what will happen if you let men in ladies bathrooms" thing.

Extremely stupid, but also extremely obvious.

[Evren]

Like Lost said there are a lot of right wing men going into Target bathrooms and just loitering in order to prove how dangerous it is to have a "Man" go into a woman's bathroom. It sucks, we definentally agree with you. As for explaining trans people to your daughter, you might just say that there are some people who figure out that they are not the gender that they were told they were when they were born. So there are people who were born as girls and they later figured out that they were boys or both boys and girls or neither, and there are people who were born as boys however they later figured out that they were girls or both boys and girls or neither.

As long as you keep it pretty simplistic, children are fairly easy to explain things too, and they are very accepting.

[Rin-likes-rain]

Guys, I don't think she is trying to be transphobic. She just doesn't understand. Are you going to call someone ignorant because they don't understand yet? That in itself is ignorance. I think it was a little inappropriate and sketchy to just be hanging out in a bathroom alone regardless of gender. If they were doing their makeup, that's one thing. but just standing there, not doing a thing, that sounds sketchy to me. If a girl did that I'd be wary.

With the transgender bathroom issues, it's about being treated like human beings and beng recognised. Girls want to use the girls bathroom. And it's WAY more dangerous for a transgender woman in the mens bathroom than it is for a transgender woman in the women's. As for this person hanging out in the bathroom when your daughter went in, it does seem strange, but I wouldn't jump to conclusions. They might be femme non-binary and were just trying to get used to being there, or maybe just in euphoria. however, I support your decision to go in with your daughter. Her safety takes priority. While transgender people aren't going to hurt you, doesn't mean that someone else won't try. But as long as you aren't trying to make up excuses or be hateful, I get what you are saying.

[Lost247365]

Guys, I don't think she is trying to be transphobic. She just doesn't understand. Are you going to call someone ignorant because they don't understand yet? That in itself is ignorance. I think it was a little inappropriate and sketchy to just be hanging out in a bathroom alone regardless of gender. If they were doing their makeup, that's one thing. but just standing there, not doing a thing, that sounds sketchy to me. If a girl did that I'd be wary.

With the transgender bathroom issues, it's about being treated like human beings and beng recognised. Girls want to use the girls bathroom. And it's WAY more dangerous for a transgender woman in the mens bathroom than it is for a transgender woman in the women's. As for this person hanging out in the bathroom when your daughter went in, it does seem strange, but I wouldn't jump to conclusions. They might be femme non-binary and were just trying to get used to being there, or maybe just in euphoria. however, I support your decision to go in with your daughter. Her safety takes priority. While transgender people aren't going to hurt you, doesn't mean that someone else won't try. But as long as you aren't trying to make up excuses or be hateful, I get what you are saying.

Who is calling her transphobic?