Member104224 Posted May 19, 2016 Share Posted May 19, 2016 I plan to come out to my mom tomorrow. I think if I explain my feelings well enough, she'll be okay with it, but I can't be sure. I'm actually afraid of what her reaction might be... I'm still young (in years, not necessarily maturity) and living with my parents, so I'm nervous that she might make me take down this account. I feel like she might just dismiss my feelings, and tell me that I'm too young to know (I disagree - I go to school with very sexual teenagers, and I'm not feeling it; also, I've never really been a late bloomer at anything). I guess I'm posting this for advice - how do I come out without damaging our relationship? Or do I just need to go for it and see what happens? Link to post Share on other sites
Andiamo Posted May 19, 2016 Share Posted May 19, 2016 Good luck! Has she ever heard about asexuality? It might be easier if you explain that to her before coming out. I'm not sure how it could come up in conversation, though. That being said, I sort of just went for it when I came out to my parents. They were accepting, they just didn't understand. I had to explain a lot to them. If you're worried about being seen as a late bloomer or being told that you'll grow out of it, you could word it in a way that isn't saying that it's an absolute. When explaining, try saying that you "have never" experienced sexual attraction instead of "never" experience it. Or say that you are comfortable and happy calling yourself ace now, whether or not that will always be true. I hope this helps! I wish you luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Rin-likes-rain Posted May 19, 2016 Share Posted May 19, 2016 Try to explain that you are perfectly happy with our asexuality too. And explain the difference between asexuality and celibacy. I don't really understand how people can get mad at you for not wanting sex. If your parents are religious, it isn't like you're running off and banging homosexuals. If she does think it's a phase, she'll eventually see that you really are happy with your asexuality and she'll eventually grow to accept it. Link to post Share on other sites
Member104224 Posted May 19, 2016 Author Share Posted May 19, 2016 If you're worried about being seen as a late bloomer or being told that you'll grow out of it, you could word it in a way that isn't saying that it's an absolute. When explaining, try saying that you "have never" experienced sexual attraction instead of "never" experience it. Or say that you are comfortable and happy calling yourself ace now, whether or not that will always be true. I hope this helps! I wish you luck. Thank you. I think wording it as something not-so-permanent will probably make it go over better. :) Try to explain that you are perfectly happy with our asexuality too. And explain the difference between asexuality and celibacy. I don't really understand how people can get mad at you for not wanting sex. If your parents are religious, it isn't like you're running off and banging homosexuals. If she does think it's a phase, she'll eventually see that you really are happy with your asexuality and she'll eventually grow to accept it. And thank you, too. I really am happy now that I've found AVEN, so maybe if she sees that... I guess I won't know until tomorrow. Link to post Share on other sites
aceghost Posted May 19, 2016 Share Posted May 19, 2016 I found this tip on another thread, but if you want to kind of "feel out" how your mom might react, maybe try casually mentioning "an interesting article" you read about asexuality, and talking about it in the general sense prior to coming out as asexual yourself. You could be able to get a feel for her reaction based on the ensuing conversation ("well that makes sense" vs. "Ha! What rubbish" vs. "It sounds like those poor people are just confused" vs. whatever) and adjust your coming out methodology accordingly. Link to post Share on other sites
Member104224 Posted May 19, 2016 Author Share Posted May 19, 2016 I found this tip on another thread, but if you want to kind of "feel out" how your mom might react, maybe try casually mentioning "an interesting article" you read about asexuality, and talking about it in the general sense prior to coming out as asexual yourself. You could be able to get a feel for her reaction based on the ensuing conversation ("well that makes sense" vs. "Ha! What rubbish" vs. "It sounds like those poor people are just confused" vs. whatever) and adjust your coming out methodology accordingly. This is a great idea! Thank you. Easing into it seems like the right approach. Link to post Share on other sites
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