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What's the difference? (Romantic and platonic relationships)


Gnotknormal

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Gnotknormal

Hi :-) on a journey of self discovery here!

I've only been in here for a day and I'm beginning to understand a lot about asexuality and relationships. Woo hoo.

But I'm stuck a bit at the moment here...

I considered myself romantic, because I desire to be in a close pair-bonded relationship, where I am with someone who is a close friend, whom I can rely on and support and be secure in the knowledge that I am loved.

However, I have had relationships like this in the past that I have considered to be 'just friends'. Even when it came to hand holding, snuggling, sharing beds, going on 'dates'. I was uneducated in the aromantic and asexual community so the reason I didn't consider them 'relationships' is because there were many at one time and I hadn't made a commitment to a single person, and that there was no sex.

So I've confused myself! Because I desire the same sort of bond (with one or many people), but I would consider it a desire to be romantic, now that I realise you can have romance without sex!

Is it to do with the feelings involved then? In a way that confuses me more! When I have been in 'relationships', I have had the desire to see my partner, spend time with them, hug them, and I would get a gooey feeling when I thought about them or when they've sent me a text. I love to show my affection through gift buying and small acts of love. So exactly the same as my friends aside from the gooey feeling.

Does this feeling stop it being platonic? I do want the gooey feeling, but I want it with the kind of relationships I had before, (and definitely without sex).

If people want to say their personal thoughts as well as debating terminology that would be great :-) also happy to PM if anybody wants to get a bit deeper.

Thanks for reading!

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TophBeiFong

I am in the same boat, wondering what is the exact difference between platonic and romantic relationships. I hope somebody has a great answer!

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DragonflytotheMoon

Hi, Gnot. I can't answer for others, but, I would say all the things that you've been doing with people you consider, just friends, is what I would only do with someone I felt romantically inclined toward. True, there are different levels of friendship & affection a person might display toward them. Most of my friends, unfortunately, aren't quite as affectionate as I am. I consider myself just a moderate amount. Most of them are fine with hugging.

As for sleeping in the same bed with someone. Sex not being a part of it. Snuggling, holding hands, kissing, perhaps. I would need to be extremely close to the person to want to share a bed with them. The only person that fits that is my husband. Who is also my best friend. Even with him sometimes, I'd rather have the bed all to myself. Of course, I really love my solitude.

I suppose, for you to take it to a level that, for you would be more romantic, you'd either increase the frequency and/or intensity of things you mentioned or add something that you would never do with a friend. Only someone you want to have a deeper emotional intimacy with. For example, if you send paper and/or e cards to friends, choose ones that are a little more personal, for whoever you think of as a special someone.

ETA: I read over your post again & I'm wondering if perhaps you're poly. I am. My husband & I have an arrangement for that. He hasn't utilized it yet. I've had a few girlfriends. Relationships are separate. I'm open to having more than two partners. I haven't been able to try that, so far. A poly person can have as many relationships as their heart & time allows. And, as long as, all people involved are aware of everyone else & agreeable to it.

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AVEN #1 fan

Well the answer is easy, with a romantic partner you can do literally everything you can't with a friend and you guys can still be friends anyway.

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Gnotknormal

Well the answer is easy, with a romantic partner you can do literally everything you can't with a friend and you guys can still be friends anyway.

The only thing I wouldn't do with a friend that I have done with a romantic partner is sex, and even then I'd rather not.

Also, some people online have expressed that they have a QPR, and they still kiss and cuddle and such, but still don't consider it romantic. I can't decide if I would. Or if I would feel the need to define it at all. :)

As for sleeping in the same bed with someone. Sex not being a part of it. Snuggling, holding hands, kissing, perhaps. I would need to be extremely close to the person to want to share a bed with them. The only person that fits that is my husband. Who is also my best friend. Even with him sometimes, I'd rather have the bed all to myself. Of course, I really love my solitude.

We do differ here, which is cool as I love to hear other peoples feelings and experiences. Sharing beds with friends on my part has mostly been on a practicality level, having sleepovers and refusing to give up my bed for a guest, or staying in a hotel and saving money by getting a double rather than a twin room. Why sleep on the floor when we can just share? Most of the time this wouldn't involve cuddling, but yeah sometimes if the person knew it wouldn't lead to sex and I was comfortable that they wouldn't initiate anything then cuddling is good. I enjoy physical contact with people I care about.

I do also like to have the bed to myself and I wouldn't commit to sharing my bed for the rest of my life! If I were to live with a partner, romantic or not, I would prefer that we had separate beds. Most people think this is weird and say that if I loved someone somehow I'd just desire to share a bed with them (but they say the same about sexual desire!), but I think that a lot of people just haven't thought about it and they think that when you live with someone you must share a bed because that's how it is, without even thinking about what they personally would like. Of course, I understand that a lot of people like that intimacy every single night - I know a lot of people who say they can't sleep without their partner in the bed.

ETA: I read over your post again & I'm wondering if perhaps you're poly. I am. My husband & I have an arrangement for that. He hasn't utilized it yet. I've had a few girlfriends. Relationships are separate. I'm open to having more than two partners. I haven't been able to try that, so far. A poly person can have as many relationships as their heart & time allows. And, as long as, all people involved are aware of everyone else & agreeable to it.

I'm definitely poly :). I haven't been in the situation where I have referred to myself as having several partners, technically. However, whenever I have been in an established romantic relationship, my partners have expressed that they would not like me to be as physically or emotionally close to my friends as I was previously. So I suppose they would have considered the closeness I had with my friends to be romantic. But it's hare to know because I've only ever been with people who are strictly monogamous, and have heard them say "I want to be special". Which I suppose implies that sharing affection with others makes the affection I share with them seem less... special? This is not something that I feel, hence how I know I'm polyamorous. I appreciate that everybody is different and every relationship you have with everyone else is going to be different, so every relationship is special, be it romantic, platonic, sexual, whatever.

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DragonflytotheMoon

Regarding sleepovers, etc with friends. Besides having a loner nature, I also had a strict religious upbringing that kept me from a lot of typical kid/teen activities. Such as, sleepovers. I'm on a site for ex members of that faith. One beauty of the Internet. There's a forum for, pretty much, every interest, experience, situation & so on. Even if I had a more, 'normal', childhood, I still may have turned out the way I did. Though, there might have been some differences. Perhaps, coming to the understanding of my poly nature sooner.

When I met my husband, 19 years ago, I was still in traditional & mono mode. Plus, a holdover of jealousy & insecurity from a dbag of an ex. After being a member of an international forum for bi women (I've been there 10 years now & a mod for 8 1/2), I recognized I'm poly. That's intensified over the years. All my relationships with women have been brief. Two (including the most recent), I wish had lasted longer. That's a story for another time. We have enough room in our minds & hearts to be interested in & care for an infinite amount of people. I try not to let it bother me, but, it does irk me some that there are those who consider poly an opportunity to, practically, have an orgy.

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Fire & Rain

The lines between them have always been quite blurred to me. Aren't many romantic relationships have friendship as a major aspect anyway? Even before realizing one could be asexual I had a hard time distinguishing my relationships. The amount of emotional investment I put into my primary relationships has always been on a par with most romantic people would put in their romantic relationships leaving me and my friends very confused. It's more confusing because I don't even want relationships. Sometimes you meet someone and later you get really close to each other. I'm prone to emotional attachment but I do not actively seek out or desire emotional attachment. It just happens. I still consider myself on the aromantic side of the spectrum.

I've had two friends who broke down in front of me and said they felt like I was their romantic partner even though we were friends. They said being with me made them feel like how they normally would with their romantic partners and seeing me with other close friends made them feel like their romantic partner flirting with someone else. They weren't even into my sex. They had no sexual feelings towards me. One was a gay guy and the other was a straight girl. That was when I realized sex or even sexual orientation sometimes have no part in having romantic feelings or to feel/desire romantic intimacy. It's hard to explain but my platonic relationships always tend to transform into romantic ones although I don't think I'm capable of having romantic feelings. I don't know how or when platonic exactly transitions into full on romance. The line is not clear.

I think it's a combination of having romantic feelings, desiring romantic intimacy (not necessarily romantic gestures) and both parties deciding to be in a committed relationship. Behavior is not a reliable source because not every romantic person like romantic gestures.

Another thing is most romantic people hold out on something or a few things (for example, sex, kissing, cuddling, sharing deep secrets and insecurities, etc) on everyone else but their romantic partner and that's what makes it a romantic relationship for them. Then, there are people like me who have nothing to hold out. I'm not romantic. I'm not sensual. I'm not sexual. I share about myself depending on the level of emotional closeness I have with specific someone. So, platonic and romantic relationships become indistinguishable.

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Gnotknormal

Just typed a massive reply and accidentally refreshed -_-''''

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Gnotknormal

I try not to let it bother me, but, it does irk me some that there are those who consider poly an opportunity to, practically, have an orgy.

This bothers me too! Like if you tell someone you're pansexual/bisexual (used to identify), and they go "oooh :O" like it absolutely means they can have a threesome!! Urgh.

With my most recent previous partners I have approached the subject of having an open/poly relationship, but everyone I have been involved with has been strictly monogamous for various reasons. Even when I said that I don't want to have sex with other people, but they could (actually I think this was a big part of me hoping that if my partner had sex with someone else they would stop trying to do it with me!!).

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DragonflytotheMoon

I try not to let it bother me, but, it does irk me some that there are those who consider poly an opportunity to, practically, have an orgy.

This bothers me too! Like if you tell someone you're pansexual/bisexual (used to identify), and they go "oooh :O" like it absolutely means they can have a threesome!! Urgh.

With my most recent previous partners I have approached the subject of having an open/poly relationship, but everyone I have been involved with has been strictly monogamous for various reasons. Even when I said that I don't want to have sex with other people, but they could (actually I think this was a big part of me hoping that if my partner had sex with someone else they would stop trying to do it with me!!).

I shouldn't assume that women would approach poly in a more romantic sense. Even so, I'm still surprised when they're the ones talking about hookups, threesomes & swinging. And, the amount of people who think that having sex at 14 or thereabouts is perfectly normal. Even the ones, that don't go into lurid detail, I'm pretty sure they're referring to penetrative. I couldn't even imagine having masturbated with someone else at that age, let alone, anything else.

When it came to crushes, I figured, they were more intellectual and/or emotional for everyone. Even if I thought someone was cute or something, I didn't think about sex with them. Even now I don't. Kissing, maybe. I enjoy that. Though, mainly, I just think about how I want to spend time in their company. Until you do, how do you know if you feel more than friendship for them? True, with some, there is a stronger spark more immediately, at least, for me.

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AVEN #1 fan

I try not to let it bother me, but, it does irk me some that there are those who consider poly an opportunity to, practically, have an orgy.

This bothers me too! Like if you tell someone you're pansexual/bisexual (used to identify), and they go "oooh :O" like it absolutely means they can have a threesome!! Urgh.

With my most recent previous partners I have approached the subject of having an open/poly relationship, but everyone I have been involved with has been strictly monogamous for various reasons. Even when I said that I don't want to have sex with other people, but they could (actually I think this was a big part of me hoping that if my partner had sex with someone else they would stop trying to do it with me!!).

I shouldn't assume that women would approach poly in a more romantic sense. Even so, I'm still surprised when they're the ones talking about hookups, threesomes & swinging. And, the amount of people who think that having sex at 14 or thereabouts is perfectly normal. Even the ones, that don't go into lurid detail, I'm pretty sure they're referring to penetrative. I couldn't even imagine having masturbated with someone else at that age, let alone, anything else.

When it came to crushes, I figured, they were more intellectual and/or emotional for everyone. Even if I thought someone was cute or something, I didn't think about sex with them. Even now I don't. Kissing, maybe. I enjoy that. Though, mainly, I just think about how I want to spend time in their company. Until you do, how do you know if you feel more than friendship for them? True, with some, there is a stronger spark more immediately, at least, for me.

That was just cute.

Anyway I'm panromantic and when I tell people about it, they think I'll get attracted to the first gay person that shows up. Like seriously queer people don't feel crushes for all the other queer persons and even not at first sight.

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Rising Sun

I didn't take the time to read replies (I'm a bit tired and writing this in bed) so if someone else said the same before, I apologize.

What's the difference between a passionate lover and an affectionate brother ? It's the difference. Attraction : with or without. It's all about how you both feel.

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TiffanyJung

I didn't take the time to read replies (I'm a bit tired and writing this in bed) so if someone else said the same before, I apologize.

What's the difference between a passionate lover and an affectionate brother ? It's the difference. Attraction : with or without. It's all about how you both feel.

Desire I suppose is the key difference between a platonic and romantic relationship for romantics. The intensity of love that a romantic feels for a friend or brother or sister is comparatively less(Though of course it's not necessarily true) than what they feel for their romantic partner.

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Rising Sun

Not intensity of love. Again, attraction. Attraction might give the illusion of strong love, although I wouldn't say this is always true, as I experienced equally strong platonic and romantic love. It's just the limerent stage where the mind goes crazy, but it fades with years.

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Romantic feelings are what changes it. For me, the people I have romantic feelings for, I desire to kiss, hold, share a bed with, etc. I do not have these desires for friends. So, it's easier for me to distinguish.

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Gnotknormal

Romantic feelings are what changes it. For me, the people I have romantic feelings for, I desire to kiss, hold, share a bed with, etc. I do not have these desires for friends. So, it's easier for me to distinguish.

Hmm, I don't think I have this! I love holding people and being close to people physically anyway, I just don't do it because people misunderstand.

I'm not sure if I mentioned this but actually for me I realise the difference in emotion is the desire to stare at them. Because I'm a total creep :-P

Ordinarily, I have strong eye contact aversion (as with most people on the autism spectrum), and generally have to fight to look at people in an effort to not seem rude. But with people I have loved romantically I have desired to look at them and stare at them. And i suppose that for me if I could do this with someone we would be in a romantic relationship.

It is definitely different for everyone. :-)

Anyway I'm panromantic and when I tell people about it, they think I'll get attracted to the first gay person that shows up. Like seriously queer people don't feel crushes for all the other queer persons and even not at first sight.

This is interesting isn't it?! That people of other orientations don't get it. If a person tells their same gender friends they're gay immediately everyone's afraid that they're going to want to go out with EVERYONE of that gender. And you have to remind people that even if their orientation is heterosexual, it doesn't mean they want to go out with everybody they meet!!

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For me (and I know a lot of people have vehemently disagreed in the past, and will want to disagree vehemently again when I repeat it now :p ), the main difference is claim of ownership, and a sense of symbiotic unity that makes you feel entitled to make use of each other to regulate your own emotional needs.

If that's present, it's romantic. If not, it's platonic.

(Three guesses which of those I prefer by far. ;) )

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Tarfeather

For me (and I know a lot of people have vehemently disagreed in the past, and will want to disagree vehemently again when I repeat it now :P ), the main difference is claim of ownership, and a sense of symbiotic unity that makes you feel entitled to make use of each other to regulate your own emotional needs.

Mm.. I think the entitlement bit is a misrepresentation of how many relationships play out in reality.

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For me (and I know a lot of people have vehemently disagreed in the past, and will want to disagree vehemently again when I repeat it now :P ), the main difference is claim of ownership, and a sense of symbiotic unity that makes you feel entitled to make use of each other to regulate your own emotional needs.

If that's present, it's romantic. If not, it's platonic.

(Three guesses which of those I prefer by far. ;) )

Hah well the thing is though, friendships can become toxic like that with no romantic feelings involved! Same with parent/child relationships and sibling relationships etc. And I believe there are cases where romantic love exists without all that stuff. I think it's just a trait some people exhibit and yes they are more likely to experience that with romance, but it can be experienced with any kind of relationship between people.

In reply to the OP:

For me, it's not the ''relationship'' that defines the difference (as to whether or not it's romantic or platonic, I mean, I've known friends who live together, who have sex etc, but aren't in love.. and I know couples from AVEN who are in love but don't have sex) it's the feelings that define what it is, not the actions in the relationship.

I either have romantic feelings for someone or I don't. That's the difference. (for me)

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For me (and I know a lot of people have vehemently disagreed in the past, and will want to disagree vehemently again when I repeat it now :P ), the main difference is claim of ownership, and a sense of symbiotic unity that makes you feel entitled to make use of each other to regulate your own emotional needs.

If that's present, it's romantic. If not, it's platonic.

(Three guesses which of those I prefer by far. ;) )

I don't want to say that this is the difference, but it's how I've always noticed it to be. Everyone can point out how there are entire sets of ownership laws that come along with certain friendships ( I was caught in the middle between two friends that had known each other for 11 years and I've never seen/experienced anything so "this person belongs to me" in my life, to date). The second part is common in platonic friendships as well, but in it's own way. I'm one of those lazy folk who think that close romantic and platonic relationships are very similar, that the differences are semantic, but there obviously is a difference somewhere in there that is only definable by the two (or more) people. I agree? Mostly.

Every romantic person I know claims that they are friends with their romantic partner, and I believe them. I also believe people when they say that a relationship is platonic when there's sex or other "together" things that go on. And I believe when someone does barely anything stereotypical representative of romantic attraction, when they say that said actions with their significant other are romantic. I know people who interact emotionally with their friends on the same level as people do with their romantic partner, but does one partnering have to be acting uncharacteristic? I think the similarities are often very great and it just depends on who you ask. It's not like we can look at people and know when their hug is platonic or romantic, you'd have to ask them. You could have sex with your friend and love them platonically, but not romantically. It's all, so, "...it depends".

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Paradise_Lost

As a heterosexual male (maybe its just me) but I cant be friends with a girl and be hugging and cuddling with no sexual undertones or overtones. Hah!

I dont know women are good at it. Maybe its the way brain works for them. But for men, it can either be full on relationship or be friends with 10 feet distance. If a woman hugs n cuddles and holds hands and puts her arm around me and stuff, Im going for the kill.

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Tarfeather

For me, it's not the ''relationship'' that defines the difference (as to whether or not it's romantic or platonic, I mean, I've known friends who live together, who have sex etc, but aren't in love.. and I know couples from AVEN who are in love but don't have sex) it's the feelings that define what it is, not the actions in the relationship.

I either have romantic feelings for someone or I don't. That's the difference. (for me)

I'm not necessarily disagreeing with you, but what we must not forget in this context is that, one individual's feelings don't in any way define the nature of a relationship. Just to give an extreme example, I can very well be friends with someone I have romantic feelings for, however this in no way changes the fact that the friendship is non-romantic in nature. For something to be an aspect of a relationship, it needs to be a mutual and lived experience. If it's just a feeling and the person doesn't act on it, or if the person acts on it but the other person doesn't want to make it mutual, it's not a part of the relationship, it's just part of one individual's feelings.

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For me, it's not the ''relationship'' that defines the difference (as to whether or not it's romantic or platonic, I mean, I've known friends who live together, who have sex etc, but aren't in love.. and I know couples from AVEN who are in love but don't have sex) it's the feelings that define what it is, not the actions in the relationship.

I either have romantic feelings for someone or I don't. That's the difference. (for me)

I'm not necessarily disagreeing with you, but what we must not forget in this context is that, one individual's feelings don't in any way define the nature of a relationship. Just to give an extreme example, I can very well be friends with someone I have romantic feelings for, however this in no way changes the fact that the friendship is non-romantic in nature. For something to be an aspect of a relationship, it needs to be a mutual and lived experience. If it's just a feeling and the person doesn't act on it, or if the person acts on it but the other person doesn't want to make it mutual, it's not a part of the relationship, it's just part of one individual's feelings.

Yeah sorry I should have been clearer on those points. My main point was that if two people are in an established relationship with each other, their actions don't define their relationship. Obviously it's not romantic if you're in a friendship and one person has romantic feelings but the other but the other doesn't return the feelings yeah that's true, thanks for pointing that out.

For me, my feelings define 100% how I relate to someone. If I love them romantically and they don't love me back in the same way, then I won't continue the friendship with them (because the feelings are too hard to deal with) ..I'm one of those annoying stereotypical possessive romantics that Mysticus detests ahahaha. Fortunately, I fall in love extremely rarely (and more oft with fict chars) so it's not too much of an issue for me.

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Hah well the thing is though, friendships can become toxic like that with no romantic feelings involved! Same with parent/child relationships and sibling relationships etc. And I believe there are cases where romantic love exists without all that stuff. I think it's just a trait some people exhibit and yes they are more likely to experience that with romance, but it can be experienced with any kind of relationship between people.

Gonna tread carefully here because I don't want to come almost to blows with you again about this as we did before... ;) :cake:

But my view is that in these cases, the problem is that the friendship or family relation has become romanticized if and when this happens. The toxicity in question is specifically a romantic toxicity, IMO.

And likewise, I think that you can be partners with someone without it turning romantic - I think R. and I managed exactly that for our relatonship of six and a half years.

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For me (and I know a lot of people have vehemently disagreed in the past, and will want to disagree vehemently again when I repeat it now :P ), the main difference is claim of ownership, and a sense of symbiotic unity that makes you feel entitled to make use of each other to regulate your own emotional needs.

If that's present, it's romantic. If not, it's platonic.

(Three guesses which of those I prefer by far. ;) )

I just call that "being controlling" or "needy" :P which can happen in platonic (by platonic I mean non-romantic AND non-sexual btw) or romantic relationships. My grandmother is every bit as controlling and entitled as any romantic partner I have ever seen.

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TophBeiFong

Mr. Paradise_Lost, I believe the difference between you and Asexuals and Aromantics is a marked one! :rolleyes: I did not know Allo's could consider those gestures sexual and or romantic! I totally hug, kiss, and cuddle people without any kind of romantic or sexual undertones coming from myself. The difficulty seems to be finding others with the same "magical" ability. I think fewer Aromantics would be as "cuddle averse" if it were not sexualized. Many of us freely admit we might actually like cuddles and kisses (occasionally and only with a deep friend) if we were certain the other party meant them platonically.

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I am pretty confused, as using hugging, kissing, and cuddling as a definition

of asexual romance is really not enough considering people do those things

with their mom.

Add to that, I can't even count dedicated "You're my number one person" as

a trait of an asexual romance because people do that all the time with "You

are my best friend."

Imagine someone has the title of "Best Friend," you also hold hands with them,

dance with them, give them gifts to celebrate your friendship, have cuddled,

etc, if this constitutes as romance, then a great many sexuals have had

asexual romances with their best friends!

Which I am entirely cool with. I just want to know if that's all it means, I like

definitions to be clear. It bugs me when something is too murky to make out.

Maybe an asexual romance is only an asexual romance when both partners

DECLARE it so? Making it really just a joint expression of their love for

each other, like wearing "best friend" necklaces? Only trying to make it

all that more serious, like marriage is viewed? After all, best friends are

expected to separate eventually (usually when they get married to other

people.)

Maybe asexual romance means "Best friends who knowingly intend to

never separate?" And being a romantic asexual means you are comfortable

with, if not actually looking for this kind of relationship?

Because who is really best friends with someone and never shows affection?

Affection alone CAN NOT be the distinguishing characteristic of an asexual

romance.

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TophBeiFong

​I have often desired exactly that. "Best friends who knowingly intend never to separate." :cake::cake::cake:

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banana monkey

Ms White, I shall try to help but I don't know how much use it will be, feel free to take it with a pinch of salt. I think most sexuals (as stated above) and possibly romantics find it weird to cuddle best friends (although they may hug them). Most people may cuddle their family when they are young but it feels different, I think because the desire is different. I currently identify as greyromantic as i am unsure if I am aromantic or not but I lean more towards that persuation. I have definately experienced sensual attraction, but it is different to hugging and kissing friends. I may hug friends to comfort them or say goodbye but i dont get any desire to do that (or the desire is different) When I have sensual attraction (which may be linked with romantic attraction, and is definately linked with QP attraction for me) I have a desire to cuddle a person, to kiss a person (chaste kisses but I never get any desire to kiss even my family and have pretty much never kissed anyone out of choice apart from an S.O). The desire may be coupled with (but does not have to be) a beating heart or nervousness, and the desire is such that I will actually try harder to make it happen (which does not happen with friends) With a friend I very rarely want to hug them and it is usually only for a short time as form of greeting or farewell or maybe to comfort them (again rare). Sorry, i dont think I'm explaining that well as I think it mainly has to do with feelings and is difficult to describe, for example, a queerplatonic relationship may be described by some as "best friends who never intend to seperate" and some QP partners make a commitment to be together for life (like marriage) but their are clearly differenences between and aromantic queerplatonic relationship (which may be sexual or asexual, but is usually asexual) and a romantic asexual relationship, though I can't tell you exactly what these are as they tend to vary between couples.

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MadamLestrange

I seem to have the same problem. Actually, I see that many people do.

I once watched an anime where I remember the girl in there saying "I still can't see the difference between love and deep friendship."

Same is with me. Especially since I really don't have many friends (especially not that close ones, I have many acquaintances, but that hardly even counts). And to consider someone really a friend, the affection needs to be quite strong.

And I can't imagine relationship nor romantic feelings for a person without that strong affection. Therefore - the person I'm in love with needs to be my friend primarily. But is this enough? I'm not sure.

I see that Gnotknormal mentioned staring. Yeah, that can count actually. :lol: No, really, as creepy as it sounds, I have tendency to stare at people I think I'm in love with. Actually, I can stare at people for different reasons (me staring at you doesn't necessarily means this) but it can. And it's often a good indicator. But I usually have idea why I'm staring. Even though you might not xD . I'm awful in hiding my emotions.

And I'm probably a bit more possessive about them. You know that "(S)he's mine!" feeling when someone talks to him or her. I'm sometimes like this about my friends too, but it's... still a bit milder.

Romantic relationship definitely needs to be something that's mutual and arranged though. Same as it is with sexual relationships. But romantic feelings are the ones that are interesting in here.

Just to make clear - I can be extremely close to people I love (both romantically and platonically). And I show my affection in physical manner too, which people sometimes misinterpret (especially the ones who still don't know me that well). Pretty much the same thing as some of you mentioned already. I love hugging my friends, having deep conversations, buying nice and symbolic gifts to them, we do sometimes sleep in the same bed etc. I especially enjoy hugging. And holding hands too, though not necessarily often. And I agree about sleeping in bed part. I'd hate to sleep in bed with someone forever. Sometimes - yes. But not always.

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