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starry-night-sky

Questions for sexuals

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starry-night-sky

I'm sorry for bothering you but there are some questions I really wonder. I hope they're not too personal and it's okay to ask them here but I I'd really appreciate some replies.

1. How do you know you're sexually attracted to someone?

2. What makes you sexually attracted to someone?

3. Are there people you're sensually attracted to (you want to cuddle with them, kiss them etc.) but you're not sexually attracted to them?

4. How often do you meet people you're sexually attracted to?

5. Are you only able to be aroused by people you're sexually attracted to?

6. When you're romantically attracted to someone are you automatically sexually attracted to that person?

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HeidiUK

Oooh I hope someone answers! :wub:

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FictoVore.

You should also ask ''how do you personally define sexual attraction'' at the top...because I've seen a lot of sexual people describe it differently depending on how they experience it, or whether or not they even do experience it (because there are sexuals who don't)

One sexual might answer meaning ''I adore the shape of any womans breasts and arse, they turn me on just seeing them naked'' and another might be answering meaning ''his personality just clicked with me on so many levels, he made me laugh and smile and we could just talk for hours.. and I started to wonder what he would be like in bed.. whether he would be good or not, even though to look at he's not my idea of attractive'' etc etc.. seriously it varies so much from person to person.

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starry-night-sky

You should also ask ''how do you personally define sexual attraction'' at the top...because I've seen a lot of sexual people describe it differently depending on how they experience it, or whether or not they even do experience it (because there are sexuals who don't)

One sexual might answer meaning ''I adore the shape of any womans breasts and arse, they turn me on just seeing them naked'' and another might be answering meaning ''his personality just clicked with me on so many levels, he made me laugh and smile and we could just talk for hours.. and I started to wonder what he would be like in bed.. whether he would be good or not, even though to look at he's not my idea of attractive'' etc etc.. seriously it varies so much from person to person.

Oh man, the more I try to understand this whole topic the more I'm getting confused about it.

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The Great WTF

Answered supplied by my partner, who identifies as pansexual.

1. How do you know you're sexually attracted to someone? I just sort of... want them, like, all of them. I get aroused more easily around them, want to be around them, fantasize about them without meaning to.

2. What makes you sexually attracted to someone? No idea. It's different with every person if there's a reason at all.

3. Are there people you're sensually attracted to (you want to cuddle with them, kiss them etc.) but you're not sexually attracted to them? Um... no? I don't differentiate my attractions like that. When I'm attracted to someone, I'm attracted to them.

4. How often do you meet people you're sexually attracted to? A lot.

5. Are you only able to be aroused by people you're sexually attracted to? Gods no. A strong breeze can get me horny.

6. When you're romantically attracted to someone are you automatically sexually attracted to that person? I don't really get this whole "different kinds of attraction" thing, but as far as I know, yes. I've never been in love with someone without also having the need to have sex with them.

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Star Bit

Actually sexual people do can experience attractions seperately, they just don't realize it. Some have friend crushes (i.e. squishes; the desire to befriend someone specific; which may or may not include admiration) and some experience "girl/guy crushes" (i.e. aesthetic attraction and/or emotional attraction-- which occasionally includes a squish [i.e.] a pull to look at someone due to beauty and/or having a fixation on them due to their emotions/personality like a favorite character or admiration-- which occasionally includes the desire to befriend them); both of which are somewhatly common. And most people are sensually attracted to their pet.

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Kisa the Maccabee

Actually sexual people do experience attractions seperately, they just don't realize it. Some have friend crushes (i.e. squishes; the desire to befriend someone specific; which may or may not include admiration) and some experience "girl/guy crushes" (i.e. aesthetic attraction and/or emotional attraction-- which occasionally includes a squish [i.e.] a pull to look at someone due to beauty and/or having a fixation on them due to their emotions/personality like a favorite character or admiration-- which occasionally includes the desire to befriend them); both of which are somewhatly common. And most people are sensually attracted to their pet.

Ummm, I think if a sexual says that their attraction is one way then that's how it works. It doesn't work that way for me but I overthink things too much. I think sexual attraction is a type of sensual attraction but I usually feel both for a person.

Also I'm not sensually attracted to my pet. She has soft fur but she will bite my fucking hand off.

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Star Bit

Well, i should've said "can", not exactly "do" which can be read as all.

And my tuxedo cat is like that too, but I'm still sensually attracted to her and try to stay within her few second limit of affection. My second cat is actually sensually attracted back (e.g. cuddles, grooms me, frequently moves upward to accept a kiss on the nose/lips, and occasionally puts his paw on my face endearingly).

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darknova42

1. How do you know you're sexually attracted to someone? It might not be a good metaphor, but I notice whether or not I'm spontaneously aroused by seeing someone that I find attractive, almost like how you'll notice you're salivating when you smell something delicious. I use that as an example because they're both physiological responses to stimuli.

2. What makes you sexually attracted to someone? Not any one thing. Its not the same for every person who feels sexual attraction and the reasons I could be attracted to one person might not be the same as the basis of my attraction to someone else. Without knowing them then personally the attraction tends to be for physical reasons. They've got attributes that arouse me. I might not find someone particularly sexually attractive at first, but then when I get to know them if our personalities click then it can become more intense. Like your perspective shifts and suddenly it seems like there are all these things you can't believe you didn't notice up until then a kind of "Omg, were they always this cute?"

3. Are there people you're sensually attracted to (you want to cuddle with them, kiss them etc.) but you're not sexually attracted to them? No. The opposite can happen though. Plenty of people have one-night-stands. That's more about satisfying a craving. Usually you don't ask for a cuddle afterwards. There could be someone I have intense romantic feelings for that make me want to spend time appreciating my time with them. It's just that sex is more a long the lines of a different way of showing that same appreciation(at least for me).

4. How often do you meet people you're sexually attracted to? All the time. It can be something along the lines of how much you want to have sex with them. It varies. Someone can be more willing to get into bed with one person rather than another. It can also be dependent upon how horny you are/how much you want sex.

5. Are you only able to be aroused by people you're sexually attracted to? I'm hetero, as in attracted to women, and I can be aroused by gay porn. That can be more along the lines of a sympathetic response, I see them having sex and that's arousing. Also, arousal can be a physiological response. For instance if I'm being sexually stimulated, I'll be aroused by *that* even if the person isn't particularly attractive. Someone might not be particularly attractive, but if they're doing something sexual, then I might be aroused. If they were just standing there, then no, probably not.

6. When you're romantically attracted to someone are you automatically sexually attracted to that person? I don't know if its 'automatic'. I mentioned before though that romantic attraction can, for me, cause me to notice things about someone I haven't seen before. Probably because I'm paying closer attention and notice small details. For me romantic attraction can develop into sexual attraction maybe almost at the same time or close to it.

Sexual fantasies of mine generally revolve around how my partner is responding to what we're doing. Whether or not they're "having a good time". If I'm sexually attracted to someone then having those kind of thoughts about them, what they'd look like and the noises they'd make, just kind of happens.

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Mike_Rophone

I know AVEN may have a few sexuals, but if you are looking for a place that will give you more answers, I suggest reddit.(Is this promoting? Just PM me if I can't do this, mods, my apologies) r/sex is the specific one you want to go to.

Hope this helps!

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5_♦♣

1: My genitals tell me.

2: I don't think there's really any one thing that sexually attracts me to someone.

3: I don't experience sensual attraction separately from sexual attraction. When I'm sexually attracted to someone, I imagine us kissing each other before sex and cuddling after sex.

4: Not sure, tbh.

5: Maybe? Not really sure, kinda new at this whole being sexual (again) thing.

6: Occasionally. Don't know why, but my heart and genitals usually can't see eye to eye, so to speak.

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starry-night-sky

Thanks so much for your replies so far :)

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axl_gnr

I'm sorry for bothering you but there are some questions I really wonder. I hope they're not too personal and it's okay to ask them here but I I'd really appreciate some replies.

1. How do you know you're sexually attracted to someone?

2. What makes you sexually attracted to someone?

3. Are there people you're sensually attracted to (you want to cuddle with them, kiss them etc.) but you're not sexually attracted to them?

4. How often do you meet people you're sexually attracted to?

5. Are you only able to be aroused by people you're sexually attracted to?

6. When you're romantically attracted to someone are you automatically sexually attracted to that person?

1. I am sexually attracted to certain women, their body parts, their clothing or the lack of it. So I would check them out, and sometimes I wish I could touch them and they do stuff to me.

2. First off, if they show interest then that adds a lot of to the score. Then their physique. Then their personality and lifestyle choices. Her clothing or the lack of it etc.

3. Not really. Im a hetero male so cuddling no. Hugging maybe. But that is more emotional. Sex and humping is more sexual.

4. Meet - not a lot. But I do see them here n there. Some from a distance. Some nearby. Hardly make a move though.

5. Im a man who if horny can even have sex with a hole in the wall. My turn offs are probably more personality related. But if there are no repercussions, I'd still do it with them.

6. Sure. In animal kingdom theres nothing called romance or marriage. Its just sex. In humans we do get emotionally involved with people. But if the girl reciprocates sexual advances, then the two aspects will merge.

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axl_gnr

1: My genitals tell me.

2: I don't think there's really any one thing that sexually attracts me to someone.

3: I don't experience sensual attraction separately from sexual attraction. When I'm sexually attracted to someone, I imagine us kissing each other before sex and cuddling after sex.

4: Not sure, tbh.

5: Maybe? Not really sure, kinda new at this whole being sexual (again) thing.

6: Occasionally. Don't know why, but my heart and genitals usually can't see eye to eye, so to speak.

With women I assumed it was more emotional and personality connection that leads to sexual attraction. Didnt know you girls also thought with your crotches haha. I was under the impression that only men think from their d*cks.

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humantoafault
1. How do you know you're sexually attracted to someone?

Ummm....I'll let you know when it happens....hasn't so far.


2. What makes you sexually attracted to someone?

Well what I envision is being in a longterm committed relationship with someone and wanting and enjoying sex with them. I imagine any specific attraction to another person would come after that. The sexual relationship alongside emotional relationship is something I innately want--it's just not directed at anybody in particular.


3. Are there people you're sensually attracted to (you want to cuddle with them, kiss them etc.) but you're not sexually attracted to them?

I'm pretty "keep hands to self", so not really


4. How often do you meet people you're sexually attracted to?

Hasn't happened yet


5. Are you only able to be aroused by people you're sexually attracted to?

Hm....dunno.


6. When you're romantically attracted to someone are you automatically sexually attracted to that person?

Nope. Aesthetic attraction gets a major boost though.

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Santa's Little Elf

Friendly reminder that making judgments about other users is not ok, especially about the validity of their (a)sexuality is strongly discouraged.We are here to figure ourselves out, not to put each other in boxes.Please try to respect other people's feelings when it comes to theyre (a)sexuality

Jayce

Sexual Partners Friends and Allies moderator

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starry-night-sky

Friendly reminder that making judgments about other users is not ok, especially about the validity of their (a)sexuality is strongly discouraged.We are here to figure ourselves out, not to put each other in boxes.Please try to respect other people's feelings when it comes to theyre (a)sexuality

Jayce

Sexual Partners Friends and Allies moderator

I'm very very sorry if I offended anyone with that thread, it wasn't my intention at all. I'm very interested in learning more about sexual orientations and understand them better, I totally respect that there are people who feel differently than I do. I never meant to judge anyone or their sexuality, I just started this thread out of interest. So I'm really sorry if I made anyone feel bad about themselves because I asked these questions.

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Santa's Little Elf

I'm very very sorry if I offended anyone with that thread, it wasn't my intention at all. I'm very interested in learning more about sexual orientations and understand them better, I totally respect that there are people who feel differently than I do. I never meant to judge anyone or their sexuality, I just started this thread out of interest. So I'm really sorry if I made anyone feel bad about themselves because I asked these questions.

No worries ^^ It's just a friendly reminder to people to keep things nice when discussing things in a topic :D

You're thread is an interesting read! I have learned new things that were unfamilliar to me I hope you will find what you looking for in the answers you got for so far

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Måskemigselvetsted

Answered supplied by my partner, who identifies as pansexual.

1. How do you know you're sexually attracted to someone? I just sort of... want them, like, all of them. I get aroused more easily around them, want to be around them, fantasize about them without meaning to.

I'm having an ace-moment here, does 'fantasize' mean 'thinking of them in some sort of sexual context' or does it also include just thinking about them in non-sexual contexts?

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Telecaster68
1. How do you know you're sexually attracted to someone?


I don't register 'knowing' I'm attracted to them. I experience being attracted to them. It's not like I'm outside, analysing my own experiences. What I experience is an almost physical pull towards them, wanting to look at them, enjoying how they look or act, and at some level 'yeah, I'd like to have sex with you, all else being equal'. It's not the priapic barely controlled need-to=shag-on-the-spot thing that some asexuals thing it is though.


2. What makes you sexually attracted to someone?


Some combination of how they look, how they act, sense of humour, maybe a sense of complicity. And as another poster said, if they're reciprocating, that helps raise my interest too.


3. Are there people you're sensually attracted to (you want to cuddle with them, kiss them etc.) but you're not sexually attracted to them?


I wouldn't say cuddling was a sensual experience, it's more emotional, and on that level, family, or maybe give someone a hug if they're having a hard time, or as a greeting. Apart from that, nope.



4. How often do you meet people you're sexually attracted to?


I see people who I *could* be sexually attracted to all the time. Then as I find out more about them, I mostly lose interest. They're either humourless, or thick, or there's just no connection, or not much of one. It's kind of a funnel.


5. Are you only able to be aroused by people you're sexually attracted to?


Well, physiologically, like most people, if I let them do the right physical things, I'm sure. It's just hydraulics. But I wouldn't let them, because I'm not sexually attracted to them. Conversely, I might not be aroused by someone I was sexually attracted to because of stress, or being pissed off with them, or being tired, or whatever.


6. When you're romantically attracted to someone are you automatically sexually attracted to that person?


Yes. Sex is part of romantic relationships for most people. If I wasn't sexually attracted to a potential romantic partner, that would make them a friend.

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starry-night-sky
1. How do you know you're sexually attracted to someone?
I don't register 'knowing' I'm attracted to them. I experience being attracted to them. It's not like I'm outside, analysing my own experiences. What I experience is an almost physical pull towards them, wanting to look at them, enjoying how they look or act, and at some level 'yeah, I'd like to have sex with you, all else being equal'. It's not the priapic barely controlled need-to=shag-on-the-spot thing that some asexuals thing it is though.
2. What makes you sexually attracted to someone?
Some combination of how they look, how they act, sense of humour, maybe a sense of complicity. And as another poster said, if they're reciprocating, that helps raise my interest too.
3. Are there people you're sensually attracted to (you want to cuddle with them, kiss them etc.) but you're not sexually attracted to them?
I wouldn't say cuddling was a sensual experience, it's more emotional, and on that level, family, or maybe give someone a hug if they're having a hard time, or as a greeting. Apart from that, nope.
4. How often do you meet people you're sexually attracted to?
I see people who I *could* be sexually attracted to all the time. Then as I find out more about them, I mostly lose interest. They're either humourless, or thick, or there's just no connection, or not much of one. It's kind of a funnel.
5. Are you only able to be aroused by people you're sexually attracted to?
Well, physiologically, like most people, if I let them do the right physical things, I'm sure. It's just hydraulics. But I wouldn't let them, because I'm not sexually attracted to them. Conversely, I might not be aroused by someone I was sexually attracted to because of stress, or being pissed off with them, or being tired, or whatever.
6. When you're romantically attracted to someone are you automatically sexually attracted to that person?
Yes. Sex is part of romantic relationships for most people. If I wasn't sexually attracted to a potential romantic partner, that would make them a friend.

Wow, that reply was great. I definitely learned some new things. Thanks!

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Telecaster68

That's interesting. What bits didn't you know about?

(And I have no idea what judgements were going on...)

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HighDrive

I'm sure I've answered most of them elsewhere in the forums but here it is:

(Answers are only representative of me and probably will be very difficult to understand)

In a crude and direct way:

Sexual attraction = I'd have sex with them given the chance.

Now the answers:

1. How do you know you're sexually attracted to someone?

Feel it in the bottom of the stomach, clouded brain, sharp focus on sexual thoughts.

(I don't "know" it. I feel it) very irrational.

2. What makes you sexually attracted to someone?

- she is a woman (trans women count because I consider them women) and really, for the life of me I have no idea what makes a guy attractive or handsome and I'm not the least homophobic, I hug my gay friends hi and bye as I would hug any other friend.

- situation, behaviour, look, cues, my own superimposition of sexual thoughts. (I can impose sexual thoughts on a broom with a skirt)

- skin: making visible skin that is normally covered is a high turn on (shorter skirts, shoulders, midrift, neck, etc)

- a "cute" personality. Happy people are sexy to me regardless if any other characteristic

- it does not need to be a specific body type or physiology. Physically and aesthetically I like thinner women but I find many heavy/plus/fat (or however you want to call it) women very sexually attractive.

Same for face. A woman may not have a face that I consider attractive but I may consider it sexual

In summary, as long as there is one single sexual characteristic, I would feel attracted to the whole person regardless of the rest.

3. Are there people you're sensually attracted to (you want to cuddle with them, kiss them etc.) but you're not sexually attracted to them?

No. Has never happened.

Unless you mean like I would cuddle with my mom, sister, my children, etc, where I've never even thought about sexual thoughts.

In any other situations if I cuddle and kiss I will get an erection and will feel the "craving"

4. How often do you meet people you're sexually attracted to?

All the time if I'm out around people.

5. Are you only able to be aroused by people you're sexually attracted to?

No. For me Arousal has a mental component and a physical component.

I like the response about gay sex or seeing gay guys flirt. Turned on even if I can't find them attractive or if I cannot see my self there.

6. When you're romantically attracted to someone are you automatically sexually attracted to that person?

Yes. Invariably.

And still, I have proper mental governors that allow me to function well in society.

So if a woman and comes to a business meeting, I will probably feel sexually attracted but she won't notice even if she is purposefully provocative... It's a work meeting!)

And my ace GF knows that my sexual attraction to her is very strong, but I don't need to act on it.

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Star Bit

@OP

You never requested people define sexual attraction; that's rather needed.

Also, I'm curious how they would differentiate FWB from a relationship.

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Salted Karamel

1. How do you know you're sexually attracted to someone?

Feel it in the bottom of the stomach, clouded brain, sharp focus on sexual thoughts.

(I don't "know" it. I feel it) very irrational.

This isn’t the first time I’ve heard references to males having feelings of sexual arousal in the stomach. What organs are near the stomach that dudes are feeling sexual arousal in?

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HighDrive

This isnt the first time Ive heard references to males having feelings of sexual arousal in the stomach. What organs are near the stomach that dudes are feeling sexual arousal in?

I think it is not only males. Other people would refer to it as "butterflies on the stomach". Apparently research has found that there are some "neuron like" cells in that area that respond to emotional estimulation.

Probably responsible for the term "gut feeling"

For more information, research enteric nervous system.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enteric_nervous_system

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Salted Karamel

This isnt the first time Ive heard references to males having feelings of sexual arousal in the stomach. What organs are near the stomach that dudes are feeling sexual arousal in?

I think it is not only males. Other people would refer to it as "butterflies on the stomach". Apparently research has found that there are some "neuron like" cells in that area that respond to emotional estimulation.

Probably responsible for the term "gut feeling"

For more information, research enteric nervous system.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enteric_nervous_system

Oh, gotcha. I was reading a writer's guide for sex and romance scenes once and it went into great detail about how men supposedly feel warmth in the belly as part of their sexual arousal experience and I thought that was really odd and figured the author of said guide was just really confused about anatomy, but then you came up with this, soo...I thought maybe I was wrong all along and there was just something going on there that I didn't know about. xD

Also! I’m demisexual, but I thought I'd answer this questionnaire for two reasons:

1. “Demi-sexual” by definition means “half sexual,” and we’re basically sometimes sexual and sometimes asexual, so why not. I have some experiences with sexual attraction, even if I’m not “full” allosexual.

2. I thought it might be interesting to show how demisexuality is different from allosexuality? I mean, this is only my own experience of course, but I still thought it might be somewhat interesting to at least someone out there to show how an example of demisexuality differs from accounts of allosexuality. Maybe? If not, then just ignore me! :D Or I'll delete my post if really desired.

So, definition used first:

sexual attraction = an instinctual pull toward having sex with the object of the attraction that is not rooted in any secondary motives (such as wanting to learn more about sex, placating a partner, or increasing intimacy); wanting sex “for sex’s sake” with a specific person.

1. How do you know you're sexually attracted to someone?

Still working that out, tbh. I’ve realized that I’m demisexual within the past year or so and all of my sexual history and experience with being sexually attracted to anyone was before that, so at this point I kind of need to remember things that happened in the past when I didn’t have the proper context for it then, and try to retroactively apply context now, so it can be hard to say. There are some people I look back on and go, “Yeah, I think was sexually attracted to that one for sure,” and others that I look back on and go, “Man, why didn’t I realize that I obviously wasn’t sexually attracted to that person at all??” And others are murkier. For years I thought that the ability to tolerate sexual activity was sexual attraction, which is what complicates things. It’s hard to remember what a feeling you had in the past really was when you thought it was something else at the time.

2. What makes you sexually attracted to someone?

I’ll usually fantasize about our future together or what the relationship I envision us having would be like, and sexual activity as a natural expression of what we feel for each other in that relationship.

3. Are there people you're sensually attracted to (you want to cuddle with them, kiss them etc.) but you're not sexually attracted to them?

I’m not really sensually attracted to anyone, I don’t think. I’ll fantasize about it, but generally touching people just makes me feel awkward, so even if I’m otherwise attracted to the person I’m just kind of tolerating the touching for bonding purposes. (FYI extended kissing makes me feel awkward too, even with sexual partners that I’m sexually attracted to and sexually desire. A peck here or there, sure, that’s sweet, but more than about 5 seconds of making out is too much for me.)

I am drawn to petting cats, but…that’s more like the pull I feel toward touching nice fabric? Am I sensually attracted to microsuede? That seems more like a tactile thing, and I have little to no tactile interest in touching other people’s skin. (Nice, silky hair..maybe.)

4. How often do you meet people you're sexually attracted to?

Generally about once every few years. Has been as frequent as once every few months at a time when I was meeting a lot of new people. The last time I felt sexually attracted to anyone was about two years ago.

5. Are you only able to be aroused by people you're sexually attracted to?

No, and I’ve managed to have sex with people before who I wasn’t really sexually attracted to, usually by intoxicating myself and kind of mentally distancing myself from the situation. I also find sex to be interesting as an activity from an objective standpoint, so I wouldn’t say that none of my sexual encounters with people I wasn’t innately attracted to haven’t been personally fulfilling for some other reason that I know now was not sexual attraction.

6. When you're romantically attracted to someone are you automatically sexually attracted to that person?

No, but the reverse is true.

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Kisa the Maccabee

I forgot to answer!!!

1. How do you know you're sexually attracted to someone?

I kinda just do...funny story. In college there was one person who I was SALIVATING over and then I found out he was gay and it was...done. No more salivation, even though if he was attracted to women he'd be out of my league anyway.

2. What makes you sexually attracted to someone?

It's complicated. There is the general type and the specific type for me. The general type is something like a person with a really fit body and I'm just like "...yea, can I stare at you for a bit kthanx". More specific is personality. General type only lasts for a little while before I get bored really.

3. Are there people you're sensually attracted to (you want to cuddle with them, kiss them etc.) but you're not sexually attracted to them?

Not really. I like petting people's heads if they have floofy hair and they let me but I don't think that's the same.

4. How often do you meet people you're sexually attracted to?

I don't really count.

5. Are you only able to be aroused by people you're sexually attracted to?

Nope. I can be aroused by ideas and scenarios.

6. When you're romantically attracted to someone are you automatically sexually attracted to that person?

Not necessarily, but I don't really think about it.

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Nigellaseed

I'm sorry for bothering you but there are some questions I really wonder. I hope they're not too personal and it's okay to ask them here but I I'd really appreciate some replies.

1. How do you know you're sexually attracted to someone?

2. What makes you sexually attracted to someone?

3. Are there people you're sensually attracted to (you want to cuddle with them, kiss them etc.) but you're not sexually attracted to them?

4. How often do you meet people you're sexually attracted to?

5. Are you only able to be aroused by people you're sexually attracted to?

6. When you're romantically attracted to someone are you automatically sexually attracted to that person?

1. My skin tells me as I feel like I have electric going through me. I can be clumsy as I don't think straight. It feels very good.

2. Eyes, smell of him, his voice, his hands, humour and intelligence.

3. Family and friends plus cute babies and cats.

4. Lots.

5. Yes, except Jools Holland and I am still trying to work it out. :wub:

6. Yes, they come together for me, no question.

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Philip027
1. How do you know you're sexually attracted to someone?

I kinda just do...funny story. In college there was one person who I was SALIVATING over and then I found out he was gay and it was...done. No more salivation, even though if he was attracted to women he'd be out of my league anyway.

I find this sort of thing strange (to me; not as an affront to you or anything). I may not experience sexual attraction but I do have attraction in other forms... and I can safely say that the knowledge that someone is out of my reach (whether it be due to lack of reciprocation, outright rejection, incompatible orientations, or whatever) has never had any effect on my attraction toward them. Really, about the only way for me to stop feeling toward somebody is if they turn into a total douchebag or something, which has never happened, because I'd like to think I can pick 'em carefully.

In some weird sense, I guess this technically makes me polyamorous, even though I still feel like I'm monogamous in practice. But yeah, it's always been strange to me how people's feelings just seem to fizzle out either without reciprocation, or without the possibility (however remote) of reciprocation. I try to imagine what that's like, and it feels like it'd be sort of... emotionally tumultuous.

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