gekkosan Posted April 29, 2016 Share Posted April 29, 2016 Hi everyone. I've been a lurker here, but finally decided to introduce myself.I'm a male, 36 years old, gray-asexual, heteroromantic. I'm also very introverted and asocial. My social life is literally non-existent, which is exactly how I like it. I have been living alone for quite some time now and I'm very satisfied with my life. I just accepted the fact that I'm different and won't allow anyone convince me that there is something horribly wrong with me.I'm from Europe, currently residing on Canary Islands, enjoying the almost perfect climate, which enables me to bicycle (one of my passions) all year round. I have my online business that is going well and enables me to make a good living from wherever I live. I'm pretty much living my dream life.I have more or less accepted the fact that I will be alone for the rest of my life, which in essence doesn't seem bad at all. I have never been in a serious relationship. I did try sex and all that, but the whole act is rather uninteresting to me. Just not my thing. I don't want family and kids, however there are times when I do miss a companionship of a compatible lady.Every so often I find myself fantasizing about a woman that would be compatible with my unorthodox lifestyle. Is there such a creature? I don't know, but if there is, I would certainly like to meet her.So what would my ideal woman be like? She would be someone who is her own person, independent, who is used to and likes to live by herself, who is, like me, a loner. My ideal woman would not be needy or clingy and would know how to take care of herself. We might live separately or maybe not, but either way we would give each other all the space and peace either of us requires.Because of my asocial tendencies, one of the issues that always comes up when thinking about my ideal woman is "her people". By her people I mean her close and extended family, her friends and acquaintances. I want her, and her alone, not her people. Of course, I wouldn't mind meeting her parents and that sort of thing, but I wouldn't participate in any family gatherings or attend her mother's birthday or her brother's weeding. She equally won't have to deal with my people. My people have accepted me for who I am and leave me be.How would my ideal woman look? I don't have any particular demands, but I have always found petite women to be very aesthetically pleasing, so as far as physical appearance goes, that would be it. I myself am also rather petite for a man - average height, but slim and very fit thanks to my bicycle. I have more of a boyish appearance and most people think I'm in my 20s.My ideal woman should more or less know what she wants in life. All relationships require compromises and I'm willing to make them, but I know enough about myself to understand that the core of me cannot be changed. I will not magically become social or something. I too will not try to change the core of my ideal woman.What about (a)sexuality? Well, I don't feel the need to have sex, so my ideal woman would be asexual or gray-a. I would, however, enjoy the physical connection like cuddling or kissing and the like. I may have a fetish or two, but nothing crazy and nothing I couldn't live without, and if my ideal woman has some of her own, I would be more than happy to oblige.Basically, I’m fantasizing about a woman who would be understanding of my asexual and asocial tendencies, preferably from her own experience, and would be willing to occasionally spend some quality time with me. We would be there for each other when need be and we would bring some warmth and connectedness into our lives. Wouldn't that be something?So there you have it, that's my fantasy. What do you think my chances are of making it a reality? Link to post Share on other sites
SorryNotSorry Posted April 29, 2016 Share Posted April 29, 2016 I think your chances are between slim and none, and I speak as a hetero asexual male who has known since his early teens what attracts him in a potential partner. My problem is, my ideal woman is a bundle of contradictions, and I don't really feel like elucidating why in a big long list. Because of this, I've absolutely lost interest in women for romantic purposes. Fortunately for me, it looks more and more like technology will very soon provide a solution to my problem: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFB6lu3WmEw ...except I don't want anyone calling me their "lord". Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 29, 2016 Share Posted April 29, 2016 I know plenty of women like that on AVEN ^_^ whether you get one to be your partner is another matter hah.. depends on how well you interact with people really. Link to post Share on other sites
gekkosan Posted April 29, 2016 Author Share Posted April 29, 2016 I think your chances are between slim and none, and I speak as a hetero asexual male who has known since his early teens what attracts him in a potential partner. My problem is, my ideal woman is a bundle of contradictions, and I don't really feel like elucidating why in a big long list. Because of this, I've absolutely lost interest in women for romantic purposes. Fortunately for me, it looks more and more like technology will very soon provide a solution to my problem: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFB6lu3WmEw ...except I don't want anyone calling me their "lord". Sorry to hear you've given up. I know plenty of women like that on AVEN ^_^ whether you get one to be your partner is another matter hah.. depends on how well you interact with people really. Thanks for letting me know. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 30, 2016 Share Posted April 30, 2016 Mainly I answered because I am most of what you described (other than big boobs, I'm petite other than that hah) so I do know we exist haha :p ..BUT being as ..utterly asocial as I am we don't get out much looking for partners :p we do prefer utterly asocial partners like ourselves though heh so I think you totally have a chance as long as you'd be fine wirh distance to start with because you're most likely to meet someone like that online ^_^ Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Girl Posted April 30, 2016 Share Posted April 30, 2016 Hi and welcome! My husband probably had a certain perfect woman in mind too...but he ended up with me. Sometimes I think people who aren't necessarily what the other wanted in fantasy end up being fantastic together in real life. I feel that sometimes things you think will cramp your style end up enriching your life. I hope you love being a member here! :) Link to post Share on other sites
kelico Posted April 30, 2016 Share Posted April 30, 2016 Welcome to AVEN! Thank you for sharing your intro with us! I'm glad you decided to de-lurk yourself! : ) You never know what may come in your life. Perhaps you will find that ideal woman, or perhaps you will find someone that doesn't quite fit that description but that feels just right. (Like Lady Girl said.) Take your time exploring the site! I hope that you enjoy being a member. Link to post Share on other sites
gekkosan Posted April 30, 2016 Author Share Posted April 30, 2016 Mainly I answered because I am most of what you described (other than big boobs, I'm petite other than that hah) so I do know we exist haha :P ..BUT being as ..utterly asocial as I am we don't get out much looking for partners :P we do prefer utterly asocial partners like ourselves though heh so I think you totally have a chance as long as you'd be fine wirh distance to start with because you're most likely to meet someone like that online ^_^ Ha ha, but seriously... big boobs, small boobs, it's not of any significant importance. While I prefer them small, its importance is on the same level as something like favorite eye color or hair style. But thanks for the reassurance that women like that actually exist. Hi and welcome! My husband probably had a certain perfect woman in mind too...but he ended up with me. Sometimes I think people who aren't necessarily what the other wanted in fantasy end up being fantastic together in real life. I feel that sometimes things you think will cramp your style end up enriching your life. I hope you love being a member here! :) Thanks for your thoughts. Of course, my description of an ideal woman is merely a fantasy, a thought experiment, if you will. I know that thoughts can deceive you and I could be wrong in what I think I would like. But I agree with Panfictosaurus above in that I would at least like someone who is similarly asocial. Welcome to AVEN! Thank you for sharing your intro with us! I'm glad you decided to de-lurk yourself! : ) You never know what may come in your life. Perhaps you will find that ideal woman, or perhaps you will find someone that doesn't quite fit that description but that feels just right. (Like Lady Girl said.) Take your time exploring the site! I hope that you enjoy being a member. Thanks for your kind wishes! OP, I believe such women are out there somewhere but you'll probably have to settle for a long distance relationship, at least at the beginning, because they are perhaps not that common. Or maybe it's just because they tend to keep to themselves, are reserved and not very social. None of that is obviously a bad thing, it just makes it harder to meet someone like that in real life. I would imagine that people who are both asexual and asocial have very difficult times finding each other. Without the internet I think it's practically impossible. I don't expect to find someone like that near me, so long distance is pretty much expected in the beginning. Link to post Share on other sites
Starry Sky Posted April 30, 2016 Share Posted April 30, 2016 Welcome to AVEN!! Wow, where you live sounds so wonderful! I enjoy cycling myself, although, I'm probably nowhere near being any "good" at it :lol: Maybe someday you'll find your ideal woman. I'm sure there's someone out there for you! : ) I hope you enjoy being a member of the community here!! Link to post Share on other sites
gekkosan Posted May 2, 2016 Author Share Posted May 2, 2016 Welcome to AVEN!! Wow, where you live sounds so wonderful! I enjoy cycling myself, although, I'm probably nowhere near being any "good" at it :lol: Maybe someday you'll find your ideal woman. I'm sure there's someone out there for you! : ) I hope you enjoy being a member of the community here!! Thanks for the kind words and for the cake! Chocolate is my favorite. As for the cycling, it's not about being good, it's about enjoying yourself. So you're doing fantastic. Link to post Share on other sites
Artimus Posted May 3, 2016 Share Posted May 3, 2016 Gekkosan, you just described the perfect woman. You aren't as strange as you think you are. I consider myself lucky to have recently found a female best friend who is happy to teach me what sexuality is personally, but we are just best friends. Good luck buddy. They are rare. Link to post Share on other sites
gekkosan Posted May 3, 2016 Author Share Posted May 3, 2016 Thanks Artimus, it's always uplifting to hear when someone finds a kindred soul. I would wish you luck, but you already have that, haha. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.