Going through puberty

[Kasich2016]

Hey guys, I just had a question about going through puberty. I remember growing up and having wild sex fantasies and loved masturbating to porn and pictures of people in magazines. No problems there, always thought I was sexual, but people said I was different because I always wanted a relationship. It was not until 19 that I first had sex and though I did think I was the man, the experience was just alright. Since then, I still have sexual fantasies but the reality of them isn't as good. Can anybody else relate to this? Am I just not a good asexual?

[Tja]

Your post mirrors my experiences. Always meh.

Reality is never as good as fantasy.

So... you probably are a good Asexual ;)

I've been told by others that while wanting relationships, kissing, cuddling, etc., you can still be Asexual.

Though, for a bit, I thought I might just be Self-sexual, as masturbating is still the best sex I've ever had.

Edited April 29, 2016 by Tja

[NerotheReaper]

I think everyone (almost everyone) believes sex will be this magical experience, where unicorns and rainbows are everywhere. I don't think there is such thing as a 'bad asexual' everyone is different. But don't worry I understand how you feel, a lot of people do.

[Kasich2016]

Do you guys ever think about sex when you're around someone, even though you know it's not what you truly want? When I talk to people and ask about what sexual attraction is, they commonly say this excited/nervous feeling, but it always feels good to them. However, these thoughts never feel good

[Member54880]

There is the pressure to want sex, to try and convince oneself to want to want to have sex, if that makes sense. Do you think that pressure is affecting how you feel?

There's a lot of hype surrounding sex, and there's this widespread idea that the first time is a magical experience, but it may not live up to the hype, for asexuals or non-asexuals. Reality often doesn't live up to the hype when it comes to a lot of things in general, because the hype presents an over-idealized image.

[Tja]

I experience sensual attraction all the time. Not sexual attraction, though.

[RoseGoesToYale]

I identify with this. Up through high school I thought I was sexual, considering everyone talked about it and my friends would ask me questions about fantasies I had (my answers were, according to them, bizarre and random, and I only recently cleared this up). I assumed I would get a boyfriend and that I would be sexually attracted to him. When I got to college, I slowly realized that no matter what I did not wish to have sex with anyone. My "fantasies" have dropped off since I don't feel the same pressure to have them.

Don't worry about having them, though, since there are plenty of aces that do.