How do you guys experience aesthetic attraction?

[Kasich2016]

I know everyone says the whole "I love the way you look like a painting." Does anyone ever feel like WOW, you're REALLY good looking and it just kind of end there?

On another note, does anyone ever get nervous around good looking people too? I find myself doing this a lot and want to know if it invalidates anything?

[Galactic Turtle]

I'm a k-pop fan and the singers in that genre are all very beautiful. Also in regular life I see attractive people every now and then. My thoughts are like "you're beautiful and I appreciate your existence." XD

[tali.lynn]

I absolutely find some people really good looking! I think Hannah Hart is super hot :D Not like a painting or "art", I just think she's so pretty. I also think Zac Efron is pretty hot and various other celebrities, as well as people in my real life.

As long as you're not actually sexually interested in the people you find aesthetically attractive, then you shouldn't worry that it reflects on your sexuality. I don't really get nervous around good-looking people, but I see how it could happen, and again, unless you think you are feeling sexual attraction to these people, it doesn't reflect on your sexuality at all.

[Busrider]

Does anyone ever feel like WOW, you're REALLY good looking and it just kind of end there?

Sure. - Some good looking folks are out of my reach,

On another note, does anyone ever get nervous around good looking people too? I find myself doing this a lot and want to know if it invalidates anything?

It might invalidate your aromantic orientation, if you aren't nervous about pitching yourself as their volunteer photographer, hoping to get them into your portfolio. <- I'd be nervous while pondering to propose such a deal.

[WinterWanderer]

For me, aesthetic attraction is seeing people who I find appealing, but not really feeling any kind of pull toward them. They're just okay to look at, but that's it.

Sometimes I get nervous around them, but I attribute that to something between aesthetic and romantic attractiom, but definitely not sexual. Sure, they're cute, but I'll just admire them from a distance. I don't feel pulled toward them or want them to take off their clothes or anything. Just eww.

[Mike_Rophone]

I'm not the biggest fan of chocolate cake. However, I have seem many good looking chocolate cakes, but I don't want to actually eat them. This is exactly what it is.

I am heteromantic, but I notice that males are attractive. I don't hold any romantic appeal towards them, but I can clearly see they are attractive.

Hope this helps!

[Philip027]

It only comes after romantic attraction does, which only comes for people that I already consider to be a close friend.

So basically, it never just happens toward random people for me. It's also pretty independent of what they "objectively" look like.

[NerotheReaper]

I find some people 'aesthetic appealing' like Chris Evans (shush), I can also say some people got some damn good genes, ones I wish I had. But doesn't mean I want to have sex with them.

[Homer]

I know everyone says the whole "I love the way you look like a painting." Does anyone ever feel like WOW, you're REALLY good looking and it just kind of end there?

Yep, that's me pretty much all the time.

No matter how stunningly beautiful someone might be, I always take a few steps back to collect some more information. If I happen to like the person, they're "dead" to me romantically. If I don't like them, they're even deader :D ...but they may still be considered stunningly beautiful. In other words, I would be trapped if I were romantic. There would only be a very small time frame where I find the other person aesthetically and "mentally" attractive, but not "mentally" attractive enough to aim for a friendship.

On the other hand...

I think Hannah Hart is super hot :D

She's a perfect example for what I'm feeling quite regularly. I can see why people would consider her to be beautiful. Still, not my "type", aesthetically. Objectively hot, subjectively not.

On another note, does anyone ever get nervous around good looking people too? I find myself doing this a lot and want to know if it invalidates anything?

Yes, but that's only when I actually get in touch with them (i. e. talking and such). I hope that they don't feel like I'm hitting on them. I never wanted to. To me someone can be very pretty (both subjectively and/or objectively) and I can like them very much at the same time, but these two things are not connected to each other at all. "I like you and I think you're beautiful, but one thing has got nothing to do with the other." Or "You're pretty, but that's not why I want to get to know you"... Sounds legit, right? :D (Mind, I'd never ever actually say any of these sentences, their only purpose is to explain my thoughts!)

Example: I know a girl who is outright gorgeous, aesthetically. Still, there are things about her which I don't like (smoking excessively being one of them) but it's great to have her company because she's a real sweetheart, nice, kind and caring. Neither of these issues are connected to each other. It's difficult to explain.

Still, that's me and it's not easy to get this point across properly. I don't want to get beauty in the way of all the rest and I largely depend on the other peson actually trusting me in the first place. I'm not nervous at all if I know that the other person will be gone in a couple of minutes (like, say, a pretty customer at work, or someone you spot on public transport)

Sorry if this post got a little bit out of hand, it's 2am here.

[SylviaDragon]

Aesthetic attraction to real people is incredibly rare for me. I’d probably run out of examples before I run out of fingers. When it does happen though, it usually invokes a thought process along the lines of:

“Wow, you have really nice hair. I bet it’s your pride and joy. You must take great care of it and I appreciate that… annndd now I kind of want to braid it.”

“Oh wow he looks quite striking doesn’t he? He looks like quite the gentlemen in that coat. The length and color complement his body type quite well. Good for him!”

“This person looks rather lovely and I just need to stop take a moment to appreciate that.” (in the same manner I appreciate works made by an artist I really respect.)

Often times it will end there. Although from time to time my mind may wander a little farther into other attraction territory. “He looks quite smart in that. Actually he looks like the kind of gentlemen I would enjoy having a long conversation with! I wonder if he likes space and sci-fi like I do…. Maybe we would even become close enough friends that we would cuddle.” Usually if I see someone i deem pretty my first thought is to be happy for them and my second thought is to wonder if they have a personality to match.

And yes I do get nervous but that’s more or less because I’m just incredibly shy and socially awkward around everyone anyway. And I do sometimes feel drawn to them but not in an “I want to take these clothes off” kind of way. Usually it’s more like standing/ sitting next to them and thinking “Well this is nice.”

[IntrovertedBuddhist]

Bilaterally symmetrical? I think that's what we look for in our fellow humans, in regards to aesthetic beauty. I prefer Amy Ponds thoughts on beauty though...

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oi0VnsLqivY

:)

[WinterWanderer]

Bilaterally symmetrical? I think that's what we look for in our fellow humans, in regards to aesthetic beauty. I prefer Amy Ponds thoughts on beauty though...

:)

Haven't watched Doctor Who in a while, and this made me tear up a bit. :) Yes, this is the best definition of beauty.

[Tris]

For me it is comparable to music. Some songs are really pretty and I want to listen to them over and over again, cherishing every note etc and others are just meh. Some people I end up staring at awkwardly while others I just glance at and move on.

[Star Bit]

Q1: Yah, but if you mean you just recognize they're good looking and don't have a pull to look at them because of their looks and/or mannerisms then that's not aesthetic attraction but aesthetic recognition.

Q2: Yah, you can wanna appear decent to someone you think highly of.

[Guest]

Moved thread from Questions about Asexuality to Romantic and Aromantic Orientations.

Nai

Questions about Asexuality Co-Moderator

[SkyWorld]

For me, it just so happens that they catch my eye a lot and I just like looking at them. So compared to other people, I may look at them a bit longer and somewhat more often.

It's not that I get nervous when I look at people who I just so happen to be more drawn to, but I do try not to stare so it's not creepy. I don't really want anything from them at all really and I don't want my personal space invaded. I just like the way they look, that's it. They can simply just be "pleasing to the eyes".

[Anthracite_Impreza]

Well I'm mechaesthetic so I'm only attracted to machines, mostly cars, trucks, lorries and trains. I tend to get the 'ooph' feeling more with cars and trucks and the 'oh wow' more with lorries and trains, but with both I just wanna stare and follow their lines, and often get sensual attraction at the same time. Sometimes if I see a particularly attractive vehicle my stomach will squirm and I'll get a little nervous/excitable, and I'll definitely have to have a stare.

[ChillaKilla]

Overall I get in when someone's features, shape, etc look well suited for them. I could find a 50kg person equally aesthetically attractive as a 100kg person, is what I'm saying. Same with brunette vs blonde, male vs female vs et cetera. It's all very subjective. I'll tend to think "ooh their eye shape is perfect for their face" or "that haircut is very flattering", if you get my drift.

[beka cs]

hi- i'm new here [apr 2016], but not to the issues.

yes, i have often seen art worthy people.

as an oil painter, i do not do portraits but have imagined many people as good subjects d'art [painting, photo, sculpture, more].

no sexual reaction on my part, but definitely noticed.

[SpeedinThroughSpace]

I know everyone says the whole "I love the way you look like a painting." Does anyone ever feel like WOW, you're REALLY good looking and it just kind of end there?

On another note, does anyone ever get nervous around good looking people too? I find myself doing this a lot and want to know if it invalidates anything?

For me it's really like the painting thing. It's entirely about looking. I like to enjoy the view. I never want to get to know a person I find attractive because of her attractiveness, or want to touch her, whatever. It's entirely visual. There is never any fantasy involved or much thinking of any kind. It's a simple "oh, nice!", very much alike to looking at whatever else I enjoy looking at (nature, stars, cars, sunsets, glowing things, art etc). There can be a real WOW involved, an utter inability to tear my eyes away (happens with women the same way as it happens with spectacular sunsets for example).

Don't really get nervous around good looking people, though. There might be a slight awkwardness when I don't know if I'm staring or not, but overall I tend to stop paying much attention to people's look as I get to know them, especially while we're interacting. I still find the person pretty, but it's nowhere near an important thing about the person.

[5hanta1]

I find that I can stare at a good looking person for hours (for example having them as a backround on my phone) but I don't want to do anything about it.

Initially I confused this with sexual attraction because I could easily comment on hot boys with my friends. I eventually understood that my feelings were different.

I often find myself thinking "Wow, that person is beautiful" but it stops there.

[Jobi1]

I experience "active" and "passive" aesthetic attraction. For me, passive aesthetic attraction is seeing someone and briefly registering they're good-looking but not having any particular "pull" to that person. Active aesthetic attraction on the other hand is when I see someone and never want to stop looking at them. I get this a lot with exceptionally pretty girls and normally describe it as "they could beat me up and I'd say thanks"

[damage_case]

I have found certain women beautiful... but like a mirage they go away as quickly as they come. I do check out some women online and they are hot... but then the fascination fades away.

As a rule I try and stay away from women... hot or not. Both can do as much of a damage.

What am I going to do? Its like a dog running after a car. What will it do when the car stops? Forget it.

[Slice of Ace]

I tend to nonchalantly stare at guys who I find aesthetically attractive, either that or glance over at them frequently. Fortunately, no one's ever noticed (at least not as far as I've known). Yeah, but that's as far as it goes. As for women, not at all. I don't know how to define feminine attractiveness, because it's something I've never noticed.

In response to your second question: absolutely. I think that's mainly because I get nervous around anyone, but there's also the added anxiety of wondering if they notice my staring/glancing.

[NYLinguist]

Pretty much every day I walk past guys and girls and think to my self "Damn you're really attractive" and it sometimes even goes to "I bet you'd be really ncie to cuddle with" but that's the extent of it; I just go on with whatever daydream I'm having at the moment. It takes more than just aesthetics for me to be attracted to someone. To be honest I'm not sure how aesthetic attraction works. I kind of admire people that can look at a really attractive person and get visions of what their life would be like with that person but I just get so caught up in the "I have no idea who that person is, what if...".

As to your other question, I don't get nervous around really attractive people. People are people and I really see no value in letting potential judgements from other people influence my behavior. Life is way to precious to spend it worrying about what other people think; what if you get to a point in life and realize that you've never actually seen yourself through your own eyes, you know? I can't think of a worse realization to have.

[Grumpy Alien]

Basically how I think of it is like "wow you're sexy!" Except there's no actual desire for sexy times. I just want to stare at them and probably get to know them. I wouldn't mind spending time with them if their personality matches their appearance. It's a complicated thing. Especially since there are also people I find objectively beautiful.

I experience aesthetic attraction the most. Maybe even more than the average person. I get nervous around people I'm attracted to and am afraid to look them in the eye for some reason like they'll know I find them attractive...

[EmotionalAndroid]

For me, something about a person's face just catches my eye and I just want to look at them for as long as I can. I especially enjoy watching their expressions change. Maybe it is the fact that I have trouble expressing emotion at times, but the subtleties of human facial expressions is so fascinating to me.

Most of the people I am aesthetically attracted to are not people I actually know or can see in real life. I've only ever been aesthetically attracted to one person whom I've actually known. If I recall correctly, I did act pretty nervous around him, and felt really happy whenever I got the chance to talk to him.