Do asexuals sext?

[damage_case]

Since its now been established that a lot of asexuals do masturbate... whether its porn or otherwise...

Do asexuals sext? Especially with strangers who are far away from them thus theres no intimate physical presence necessary to get their rocks off?

So Ill repeat my question : Do asexuals sext?

[Baam]

I'm sure some do and some don't, just the same as anyone else. None of my friends sext, and they're sexual. Maybe the ratio of (does sext:doesn't sext) is lower in the asexual community, but I'm sure some do...

[Hobbes∞]

Knowing me is a surefire guarantee that you will receive cute anime girls direct to your phone, whenever you ask for them, and whenever you don't. Given that I value cuteness over the typical sexy, I'm not entirely sure that should count at all, but such as it is, thus have I answered ^_^

On a side note I used to think the phrase was 'socks' and not 'rocks'. Still now it makes more sense to me.

Never forget the sock gap chaps~

[damage_case]

Knowing me is a surefire guarantee that you will receive cute anime girls direct to your phone, whenever you ask for them, and whenever you don't. Given that I value cuteness over the typical sexy, I'm not entirely sure that should count at all, but such as it is, thus have I answered ^_^

On a side note I used to think the phrase was 'socks' and not 'rocks'. Still now it makes more sense to me.

Never forget the sock gap chaps~

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=get+your+rocks+off

[Guest]

I ''sext'' (with other asexuals) but only to the extent of anything we would do in ''real life''. So we do the ''sexting'' thing, just without any '''sex'' involved (though there is intimacy, kink, all of that. Everything we would do in person if we were together) ... It's called ''a-sexting'' :p hah.. yes I just made that up.

[damage_case]

I ''sext'' (with other asexuals) but only to the extent of anything we would do in ''real life''. So we do the ''sexting'' thing, just without any '''sex'' involved (though there is intimacy, kink, all of that. Everything we would do in person if we were together) ... It's called ''a-sexting'' :P hah.. yes I just made that up.

No I meant like full-on sexting with strangers and sharing pics n all. The reason Im asking this is... I masturbate rarely now coz I think it regular masturbation was making my libido go down. But I hate porno now... so I tried sexting once or twice... and I just felt that intimate connection without actual face 2 face conversation... and I found it liberating.

Since many asexuals masturbate and watch porn... do they indulge in sexting as well?

[Guest]

I ''sext'' (with other asexuals) but only to the extent of anything we would do in ''real life''. So we do the ''sexting'' thing, just without any '''sex'' involved (though there is intimacy, kink, all of that. Everything we would do in person if we were together) ... It's called ''a-sexting'' :P hah.. yes I just made that up.

No I meant like full-on sexting with strangers and sharing pics n all. The reason Im asking this is... I masturbate rarely now coz I think it regular masturbation was making my libido go down. But I hate porno now... so I tried sexting once or twice... and I just felt that intimate connection without actual face 2 face conversation... and I found it liberating.

Since many asexuals masturbate and watch porn... do they indulge in sexting as well?

Yeah I know what you meant, and when I do that I use pictures too (I take very kinky pics of myself and share with the person I am doing it with) but I would never do it with a stranger, and I don't ''sext'' about ''full sex'' (your words. To me that is anything involving both of our genitals) because no one engaging in the situation with me has any interest in engaging in ''full sex'' (oral, fingering, penetration etc)... both of us being asexual. It would be a turn off for us both if I was like ''put your dick inside me now and pound me honey'' or ''eat me out''..lol. I can see why sexting to make a sexual partner happy would be a lot easier than having sex (would be for me anyway) I just wouldn't do it out of any desire to actively engage in sexual activity with another person.

To me, someone who actively seeks/desires that with strangers sounds like a sexual who is just too shy to take the step to do that in person, so has convinced themselves they wouldn't want it in person. I have met a LOT of sexual people who confine their sexual activity to online sex with strangers, due to an inability to get ''real life'' sexual partners, shyness, convenience etc.

''Sexting'' is very different from masturbating and/or watching porn. In that sexting involves another person (just a much easier, less risky form of sex) ...masturbating and watching porn involve only yourself and a box of tissues.. no one else.

[damage_case]

I ''sext'' (with other asexuals) but only to the extent of anything we would do in ''real life''. So we do the ''sexting'' thing, just without any '''sex'' involved (though there is intimacy, kink, all of that. Everything we would do in person if we were together) ... It's called ''a-sexting'' :P hah.. yes I just made that up.

No I meant like full-on sexting with strangers and sharing pics n all. The reason Im asking this is... I masturbate rarely now coz I think it regular masturbation was making my libido go down. But I hate porno now... so I tried sexting once or twice... and I just felt that intimate connection without actual face 2 face conversation... and I found it liberating.

Since many asexuals masturbate and watch porn... do they indulge in sexting as well?

Yeah I know what you meant, and when I do that I use pictures too (I take very kinky pics of myself and share with the person I am doing it with) but I would never do it with a stranger, and I don't ''sext'' about ''full sex'' because no one engaging in the situation with me has any interest in engaging in ''full sex''... both of us being asexual. It would be a turn off for us both if I was like ''put your dick inside me now and pound me honey'' ..lol. I can see why sexting to make a sexual partner happy would be a lot easier than having sex (would be for me anyway) I just wouldn't do it out of any desire to actively engage in sexual activity with another person.

To me, someone who actively goes out and does that with strangers sounds like a sexual who is just too shy to take the step to do that in person, so has convinced themselves they wouldn't want it in person. I have met a LOT of sexual people who confine their sexual activity to online sex with strangers, due to an inability to get ''real life'' sexual partners, shyness, convenience etc.

''Sexting'' is very different from masturbating and/or watching porn. In that sexting involves another person (just a much easier, less risky form of sex) ...masturbating and watching porn involve only yourself and a box of tissues.. no one else.

Well the strangers I talked to were not even from my country. and I did it once or twice. But I liked it. I had no connection to them so it was much easier for me.

Moreover, Im not a horny guy who intentionally runs after every tom, dick, sally for sexting... if it happens it happens.

For me sexting was just like masturbating with a tiny splash of that real person touch. For me they are pretty much like a porno running (if its video/audio).

[DefectiveJubot]

I do. So...... yeah....

[Guest]

I do. So...... yeah....

I can see why people identifying as grey-a would potentially sext. If someone literally only ever desires ''sexting'' but never desires actual in-person partnered sex, that could definitely fall in the ''grey-a'' area. Just to me, as some form of partnered sexual activity is being desired, it's not exactly ''asexual''

[damage_case]

I do. So...... yeah....

I can see why people identifying as grey-a would potentially sext. If someone literally only ever desires ''sexting'' but never desires actual in-person partnered sex, that could definitely fall in the ''grey-a'' area. Just to me, as some form of partnered sexual activity is being desired, it's not exactly ''asexual''

Yup. But same could be said about asexuals who masturbate. To a layman.. if someone tells them asexuals masturbate... the layman would be like "what?! if you dont desire sex why are you watching porno n beating off?!"

[Guest]

I do. So...... yeah....

I can see why people identifying as grey-a would potentially sext. If someone literally only ever desires ''sexting'' but never desires actual in-person partnered sex, that could definitely fall in the ''grey-a'' area. Just to me, as some form of partnered sexual activity is being desired, it's not exactly ''asexual''

Yup. But same could be said about asexuals who masturbate. To a layman.. if someone tells them asexuals masturbate... the layman would be like "what?! if you dont desire sex why are you watching porno n beating off?!"

yeah to a layman maybe.

But the fact is, there is a huge difference between masturbating on your own (which asexuals do if they have a libido that they need to deal with) and desiring another person being involved with that. If asexuals didn't masturbate (ie none of us had a libido) that would just mean asexuality is a treatable medical condition. But the fact that we can have an active libido and still not desire for a partner to be involved in relieving that, proves that asexuality is in fact a ''thing'' as opposed to asexuality being a symptom of an underlying medical condition (which would be the case if all asexuals were just people with no ''sex hormones'' present in their bodies)

Masturbation = libido release on your own, by yourself.

Watching porn and masturbating = libido release on your own, by yourself.

Sexting = libido release with someone else, having another human actively engaging in your libido release.

[damage_case]

I do. So...... yeah....

I can see why people identifying as grey-a would potentially sext. If someone literally only ever desires ''sexting'' but never desires actual in-person partnered sex, that could definitely fall in the ''grey-a'' area. Just to me, as some form of partnered sexual activity is being desired, it's not exactly ''asexual''

Yup. But same could be said about asexuals who masturbate. To a layman.. if someone tells them asexuals masturbate... the layman would be like "what?! if you dont desire sex why are you watching porno n beating off?!"

yeah to a layman maybe.

But the fact is, there is a huge difference between masturbating on your own (which asexuals do if they have a libido that they need to deal with) and desiring another person being involved with that. If asexuals didn't masturbate (ie none of us had a libido) that would just mean asexuality is a treatable medical condition. But the fact that we can have an active libido and still not desire for a partner to be involved in relieving that, proves that asexuality is in fact a ''thing'' as opposed to asexuality being a symptom of an underlying medical condition (which would be the case if all asexuals were just people with no ''sex hormones'' present in their bodies)

Masturbation = libido release on your own, by yourself.

Watching porn and masturbating = libido release on your own, by yourself.

Sexting = libido release with someone else, having another human actively engaging in your libido release.

Heres the situation:

I used to masturbate regularly, and the next day in broad daylight I didnt even look at women. Never interacted with them... never checked out their butt. This went on for years.

Recently, Ive cut down masturbating every 2 days. Now I feel sort of uneasy sleeping but the next day I check women out... I feel more confident and risk taking... looking them in the eye... checking them out somewhat. I still wont approach them coz... one nightmare at a time in my life... but still.

One could argue that asexuals who masturbate must try not masturbating and then see if it makes them feel horny enough to approach a lady n bang her.

Now I understand asexuality... and I even understand masturbation... but to a layman its tough even for me to explain how can an asexual masturbate and not desire sex.

[DefectiveJubot]

It is more out of the desire to get off rather than have an actual connection with anyone. As far as I'm concerned, I'm still not sexually attracted to anyone, even when masturbating with a stranger.

[damage_case]

It is more out of the desire to get off rather than have an actual connection with anyone. As far as I'm concerned, I'm still not sexually attracted to anyone, even when masturbating with a stranger.

Yeah! And I find something incredibly liberating sharing pictures/video/sexual thoughts with someone whose a complete stranger or can cause me no harm. These are no stalkers... and are not from our location so who cares. I find it better than porno tbh.

[Guest]

Heres the situation:

I used to masturbate regularly, and the next day in broad daylight I didnt even look at women. Never interacted with them... never checked out their butt. This went on for years.

Recently, Ive cut down masturbating every 2 days. Now I feel sort of uneasy sleeping but the next day I check women out... I feel more confident and risk taking... looking them in the eye... checking them out somewhat. I still wont approach them coz... one nightmare at a time in my life... but still.

One could argue that asexuals who masturbate must try not masturbating and then see if it makes them feel horny enough to approach a lady n bang her.

Now I understand asexuality... and I even understand masturbation... but to a layman its tough even for me to explain how can an asexual masturbate and not desire sex.

well there are sexual people also have less interest in sex (or more, are less ''frisky'') if they are masturbating to deal with their libido, then if they don't masturbate they find they are feeling a lot more ''frisky'' and checking people out more, feeling more likely to flirt etc. That's relatively common. Also though, looking at people and wanting to flirt with them, finding them ''attractive'' (even if that's based on arse or breasts or whatever) doesn't ''stop'' one being asexual. Asexuality is not desiring sexual interaction with others (for sexual and/or emotional pleasure)... that's about it really. Having no desire for sexual activity with others, for sexual and/or emotional pleasure.

Like I said, I identify as ''grey-a'' ..I do have a high libido, and masturbate daily, but if I forced myself to not masturbate, I'm not any more likely to actually want any sort of sex with anyone else. I just get a lot more flirty/pervy with my SO and have to deal with a lot of unnecessary discomfort until I can relieve my libido through masturbation. I wouldn't be any more likely to desire partnered sex though.

It is more out of the desire to get off rather than have an actual connection with anyone. As far as I'm concerned, I'm still not sexually attracted to anyone, even when masturbating with a stranger.

There are lots of sexual people who have sex just to ''get off'' with someone else. ''sexual attraction'' isn't actually as important to sexual people as people in the ace community think it is. There are even some sexuals who will do things like, advertise on Craigs List for sex, and meet a random person and have sex with them just to get off, not giving two hoots what the person looks like. Same goes for online sex. That's actually relatively common. It's the preference to ''get off'' with someone else, that determines whether it's sexual or asexual.

It is more out of the desire to get off rather than have an actual connection with anyone. As far as I'm concerned, I'm still not sexually attracted to anyone, even when masturbating with a stranger.

Yeah! And I find something incredibly liberating sharing pictures/video/sexual thoughts with someone whose a complete stranger or can cause me no harm. These are no stalkers... and are not from our location so who cares. I find it better than porno tbh.

Again, that's erm, very normal sexually. That's why a lot of sexual people prefer sexual activity with another person, as opposed to on their own.. it's just better.

I'm not saying desiring that can't be grey-a though. It's just not ''asexual'' (because it's very normal sexual behavior)

[Lord Jade Cross]

Im probably (well most certainly) ignorant on this but how can you concentrate on masturbating if you have to be texting at the same time? I can understand something like video chatting (and even then that sounds weird) but can you focus both on the grade of detail in writting at the same time as masturbating or is it just 2 or 3 words sent and thats the amount of texts that will happen during the session?

[Still]

"Dirty talk" or whatever makes me either cringe or want to burst out laughing, and sending pictures of genitalia...just no.

[boothcreek]

I had a guy trying to sext me once, all unexpected(to me anyway). I thought we were doing well, last convo was breaking down genetics of different pairing of fowl to get a desired visible trait for crying out loud (yea we both breed domestic/exotic fowl, hot convos right there lol). So he out of the blue he got ..umm... rather frisky in his texting and I (who was at work) was at first like what the hell? And then broke out laughing(my co-workers thought I had gone bonker... well more than usual anyhow).

After a few rather neutral responses from me he texted me if I like how he is texting me, and my response was "its hilarious, no one talks to me that way and I cant stop laughing!"......... I suppose that was the wrong thing to reply cause guess who I haven't heard from ever again.

[Lord Jade Cross]

I had a guy trying to sext me once, all unexpected(to me anyway). I thought we were doing well, last convo was breaking down genetics of different pairing of fowl to get a desired visible trait for crying out loud (yea we both breed domestic/exotic fowl, hot convos right there lol). So he out of the blue he got ..umm... rather frisky in his texting and I (who was at work) was at first like what the hell? And then broke out laughing(my co-workers thought I had gone bonker... well more than usual anyhow).

After a few rather neutral responses from me he texted me if I like how he is texting me, and my response was "its hilarious, no one talks to me that way and I cant stop laughing!"......... I suppose that was the wrong thing to reply cause guess who I haven't heard from ever again.

Am I wrong for laughing when I read this? XD

[boothcreek]

laugh away :P

[damage_case]

Im probably (well most certainly) ignorant on this but how can you concentrate on masturbating if you have to be texting at the same time? I can understand something like video chatting (and even then that sounds weird) but can you focus both on the grade of detail in writting at the same time as masturbating or is it just 2 or 3 words sent and thats the amount of texts that will happen during the session?

Well you gotta figure that one out. but if its video then ofcourse its much easier. but text seems fun for me too. sending each other sweet nothings about what we are doing or want to do... and sharing pics/video/audio. its a slow process.... but hey... my libido isnt rock solid.

[Lord Jade Cross]

Im probably (well most certainly) ignorant on this but how can you concentrate on masturbating if you have to be texting at the same time? I can understand something like video chatting (and even then that sounds weird) but can you focus both on the grade of detail in writting at the same time as masturbating or is it just 2 or 3 words sent and thats the amount of texts that will happen during the session?

Well you gotta figure that one out. but if its video then ofcourse its much easier. but text seems fun for me too. sending each other sweet nothings about what we are doing or want to do... and sharing pics/video/audio. its a slow process.... but hey... my libido isnt rock solid.

Dont have someone to figure it out with, plus that would be weird.

[Guest]

Im probably (well most certainly) ignorant on this but how can you concentrate on masturbating if you have to be texting at the same time? I can understand something like video chatting (and even then that sounds weird) but can you focus both on the grade of detail in writting at the same time as masturbating or is it just 2 or 3 words sent and thats the amount of texts that will happen during the session?

I don't quite get that, either. I've had a good bit of experience with cyber/phone stuff a few years ago (nothing visual involved, though, so not exactly what the OP called sexting), and while that was cool enough, I can't quite understand how people can masturbate along to it... not only because I would find that kinda icky and respectless (which I know is just me and my dysphoria/repulsion about my anatomy), but also - and that bit is in general - how anyone can manage to concentrate on the partner if they're busy playing with themselves at the same time. I know I couldn't make that work even if I tried.

[Grumpy Alien]

I have and it was the most boring text conversations I've ever had. Never again. I don't masturbate so I don't get anything out of it.

[Lord Jade Cross]

Im probably (well most certainly) ignorant on this but how can you concentrate on masturbating if you have to be texting at the same time? I can understand something like video chatting (and even then that sounds weird) but can you focus both on the grade of detail in writting at the same time as masturbating or is it just 2 or 3 words sent and thats the amount of texts that will happen during the session?

I don't quite get that, either. I've had a good bit of experience with cyber/phone stuff a few years ago (nothing visual involved, though, so not exactly what the OP called sexting), and while that was cool enough, I can't quite understand how people can masturbate along to it... not only because I would find that kinda icky and respectless (which I know is just me and my dysphoria/repulsion about my anatomy), but also - and that bit is in general - how anyone can manage to concentrate on the partner if they're busy playing with themselves at the same time. I know I couldn't make that work even if I tried.

Isnt sexting supposed to be non visual?, through written messages only? I thought thats where the word came from.

I can see it being perfectly possible and doable to send texts throughout the day about things that each person would like to do with the other (which sounds more like making arrangements rather than sexting per se to me but anywyas) or maybe pictures of outfits to wear (if their into that) But actually dividing the attention between playing with themselves, while reading the recieved texts while simultaneously thinking about what to reply with and texting it (though I know its possible to text with one hand) to the other person, seems exhausting enough in theory. Apart from the idea that dont people lose momentary structured thinking when engaging in sexual gratification? I cant see how it could be effectively done in practice.

[Guest]

Isnt sexting supposed to be non visual?, through written messages only? I thought thats where the word came from.

I'd have understood it that way, too... but damaged said above that he explicitly means sending nude photos/MMS etc. along with the bare text when he says "sexting".

I can see it being perfectly possible and doable to send texts throughout the day about things that each person would like to do with the other (which sounds more like making arrangements rather than sexting per se to me but anywyas) or maybe pictures of outfits to wear (if their into that)

Heh. Yeah, definitely doable... but that wouldn't be my cuppa. The main interesting bit about cyber/phone, for me, was getting direct feedback in communication, shared in real-time (or with just a few seconds delay). The woman reacting to what I say/write was the only point of the exercise, for me. :D

Now, I do like to share random text messages and stuff with friends or partners over the day, like emails, twitter PMs, etc., but I'd find it pretty odd if these were sexualized in nature. What am I supposed to do with that if there's no immediate dialogue, lol?

But actually dividing the attention between playing with themselves, while reading the recieved texts while simultaneously thinking about what to reply with and texting it (though I know its possible to text with one hand) to the other person, seems exhausting enough in theory. Apart from the idea that dont people lose momentary structured thinking when engaging in sexual gratification? I cant see how it could be effectively done in practice.

Yep, my point exactly, in my previous post. :)

[Lord Jade Cross]

I do. So...... yeah....

I can see why people identifying as grey-a would potentially sext. If someone literally only ever desires ''sexting'' but never desires actual in-person partnered sex, that could definitely fall in the ''grey-a'' area. Just to me, as some form of partnered sexual activity is being desired, it's not exactly ''asexual''

Yup. But same could be said about asexuals who masturbate. To a layman.. if someone tells them asexuals masturbate... the layman would be like "what?! if you dont desire sex why are you watching porno n beating off?!"

yeah to a layman maybe.

But the fact is, there is a huge difference between masturbating on your own (which asexuals do if they have a libido that they need to deal with) and desiring another person being involved with that. If asexuals didn't masturbate (ie none of us had a libido) that would just mean asexuality is a treatable medical condition. But the fact that we can have an active libido and still not desire for a partner to be involved in relieving that, proves that asexuality is in fact a ''thing'' as opposed to asexuality being a symptom of an underlying medical condition (which would be the case if all asexuals were just people with no ''sex hormones'' present in their bodies)

Masturbation = libido release on your own, by yourself.

Watching porn and masturbating = libido release on your own, by yourself.

Sexting = libido release with someone else, having another human actively engaging in your libido release.

Heres the situation:

I used to masturbate regularly, and the next day in broad daylight I didnt even look at women. Never interacted with them... never checked out their butt. This went on for years.

Recently, Ive cut down masturbating every 2 days. Now I feel sort of uneasy sleeping but the next day I check women out... I feel more confident and risk taking... looking them in the eye... checking them out somewhat. I still wont approach them coz... one nightmare at a time in my life... but still.

One could argue that asexuals who masturbate must try not masturbating and then see if it makes them feel horny enough to approach a lady n bang her.

Now I understand asexuality... and I even understand masturbation... but to a layman its tough even for me to explain how can an asexual masturbate and not desire sex.

I dont think (based on my experience anyways) that not masturbating neccesarily causes people to become more attracted to anyone be them the opposite gender or the same gender.

[m4rble]

I wouldn't sext because I don't want to see other people's ugly bits, and if you can't even hug or cuddle it becomes especially pointless imo.

[Guest]

I haven't done it for a while...but yeah, it's cool. I'm not really bothered about photos or whatever (though I've done it with pics, on Snapchat and in the old MMS days), but I'm super into the text side.