Homophobic Mother

[RedAceofHearts]

I have a close relationship with my mom, and I'm pretty open with her, so I'd love to come out to her, but she's anti-LGBTQIA. She's more passive about it ("that's their choice but I think that it's wrong") It makes me upset that she's like that, and I try to talk to her about it, but I know she'd think so much less of me. I'm still a minor and I live with her, and I know she'd want to try to change me. She believes that orientation is a choice. I'm kind of at a loss of what to do.

[Lmaohelpme]

I have a close relationship with my mom, and I'm pretty open with her, so I'd love to come out to her, but she's anti-LGBTQIA. She's more passive about it ("that's their choice but I think that it's wrong") It makes me upset that she's like that, and I try to talk to her about it, but I know she'd think so much less of me. I'm still a minor and I live with her, and I know she'd want to try to change me. She believes that orientation is a choice. I'm kind of at a loss of what to do.

My mother isn't homophobic, but I think that, if I were in your situation, I'd just agree to disagree, and only tell her if she asks. I know it may be depressing when you really want to be open, but if you're still a minor, I'd keep quiet.

Honestly, (in my opinion, no matter how hard it may be) just keep quiet and talk about other things, until you've moved out, and then if you're ready, come out.

Man I hate homophobia.

[ShyFeather]

I'm in the same boat as you, albeit I'm not a minor and am just stuck with my family until I'm done with my Master's. It's really hard to keep to yourself, I know. I always have this feeling in the back of mind that says she only loves me because she doesn't know. She can say that most hateful things without knowing how it would affect me and I have to bite my lip. But I know I'm safer and our relationship is more stable by hiding it for now. She has her own problems and I don't want my orientation to add even more stress than what she already has. That's why I decided to wait until I move to come out. Then I don't have to worry about a huge backlash. I'd especially recommend it to you since your a minor and are more dependent on them for now. It would be a good idea to surround yourself with friends that will be accepting of your orientation if you don't already have that.

When I'm feeling especially down, I listen to this song to keep me strong. Maybe it'll help you too :)

[Nirnroot]

My mom was like that, but she's shut up now that I've come out. Instead, she's more like, curious about it. She'd still say it was wrong if I asked her opinion, but she's quiet otherwise.

I am a very lucky kid. I would not expect other parents to be so cool about it.

Like others in this thread, I recommend you wait till you have moved out, and depend on yourself, etc.

[GwendolynAngel83]

My mother is homophobic as well in a fairly similar manner as what you're describing, but when I came out to her she was completely fine with it. Admitadly I'm aromantic asexual so she had an easier time with it, but some parents do seem to shut up with their homophobia when they find out their kids are LGBTQ+, but then again some don't... If you want to come out to her you can, but it might be safer to wait until you aren't living at home, just in case :(

[HOTLIMIT]

My mom isn't homophobic, but she isn't the most open minded to the LGBTQ+ community. However, we've always been extremely close and when I came out about my asexuality to her she was very supportive and understanding. She believes we are born this way, she orientation is set at birth, which is why kids show behaviors that resemble straight, gay, etc.

The rest of my family is quite homophobic but when I told them I am asexual, they handled it really well. They think of it as I'm "just a loner and different" but at least they don't try to change me or belittle me.

Since you are a minor, I'd wait until you are the age of majority then come out to your mom. Most likely, she will handle it quite well. If all else fails, just tell her you aren't interested in a relationship and leave it at that.

[The Emerald]

Okay Red, I feel I need to comment since I had the same situation as you.

If your mother is very religious, where sex is seen as male and female after marriage and that's it then do NOT come out to her. Since you are a minor and you KNOW she will try to change you just don't talk to her about it.

The "therapy" will only make it worse and can damage the relationship you have even more.

I went out to my mother at 18, only because she found out that I like girls - but not sexually. She has given me grief since then and due to some circumstances I still live with her. I'm turning 23 soon.

I don't talk to her about it anymore but I can tell she doesn't like the idea of me possibly oogeling girls sexually (she doesn't believe in asexuality - that its a hormonal thing). I would stay closeted, because she might try to fix something that IS NOT broken.

[The Emerald]

I'm in the same boat as you, albeit I'm not a minor and am just stuck with my family until I'm done with my Master's. It's really hard to keep to yourself, I know. I always have this feeling in the back of mind that says she only loves me because she doesn't know. She can say that most hateful things without knowing how it would affect me and I have to bite my lip. But I know I'm safer and our relationship is more stable by hiding it for now. She has her own problems and I don't want my orientation to add even more stress than what she already has. That's why I decided to wait until I move to come out. Then I don't have to worry about a huge backlash. I'd especially recommend it to you since your a minor and are more dependent on them for now. It would be a good idea to surround yourself with friends that will be accepting of your orientation if you don't already have that.

When I'm feeling especially down, I listen to this song to keep me strong. Maybe it'll help you too :)

GASSSSSP! I love that music video T_T

[Evren]

My mom is pretty much just like that to. Quietly homophobic. I came out to her and she thinks that my queerness (along with everyone else's) is caused by abuse? I just mostly ignore her and we talk about other things. I have no idea how she will react when I come out as trans.