When Do You Prefer to Come Out?

[Starlit Sky]

And of course, I mean in romantic relationships here, not in general.

So! When do you guys prefer to come out? I'm not asking for any specific reason, other than general curiosity. I'm sorry if this question has been asked a zillion times before, it's a little harder for me to navigate on my phone!

For me, asexuality is not something I am actively trying to hide and am willing to talk about it if the subject comes up, but I prefer not to too soon (because the conversation will inevitably turn to compromises, and the other person will almost positively get turned-on, which, in my experience, can mess things up if it happens too early). The latest I'd ever wait is right before things become official, but it may or may not crop up before then.

[Guest]

Before accepting to go on the first date with them.

(Usual disclaimer: I wouldn't ever date complete strangers, folks would have to be good acquaintances, preferrably friends, with me before I'd consider dating them.)

[SquidKen]

I haven't entered any relationships since learning I am asexual, however I plan to try to come out before entering a new one. I don't particularly like to date people I don't already consider a friend though, and I've been steadily coming out to friends since learning I'm ace. I am not willing to compromise at all when it comes to what I'm willing to do, so I would want them to know soon so we don't waste each other's time.

[Philip027]

The thing with me is, anyone that I would enter a romantic relationship with would already know this cuz we'd already have been close enough friends for me to disclose it. (Most people that are closest to me know by now)

With my very first relationship, even though back then I did not have a name for asexuality, I was still able to convey that I was "technically straight, just not in a sexual way"

[tobezilla]

As soon as possible. Some people are not willing to be with an asexual person and I'd rather get that out of the way before going any further. Holding that vital piece of information in does more harm than good.

[Esper]

As soon as I have any hint that things have been moving towards the romantic (which have taking me by surprise before) - or if I like someone and want to move thing in a romantic direction.

[TeddyMiller]

Usually my dating is through online dating services, so I'd mention it in my profile or first email. For a real life situation, e.g. someone asks me out, I'd bring it up if we were considering a second date.

[Guest]

Now I know asexuality exists, I will disclose it up front - before it becomes anything romantic.

Disclosure: I only date friends :P But, if I were to date a stranger, I'd probably do the second date.

[My alias]

Casually dating around without mentioning it isn't a huge deal. But when it becomes apparent that both parties are interested and some serious may start happening (id say sometime in the 3rd date) its time to disclose major altercations. Its just the most respectful thing to do.

[harlequinelle]

I usually bring it up on or before the first date. I've found that withholding the information, even as unwittingly as I did (I discovered I was asexual a few months in to the relationship), can be super detrimental to the relationship. I'd prefer the leaving to happen on a first date than when I'm emotionally invested in the relationship.

[HOTLIMIT]

All of my romantic interests know from the beginning that I'm asexual, so it is never something I have to wait for the right moment to announce.