Do people in your life accept your sexuality?

[cavalier080854]

I deliberately chose not to tell anyone in my family. Also no one at work (my sexuality is none of their business). I chose to tell only my friends that I trust on the proviso, NO OUTING. I have told 25 friends, 17 women and 8 men, all have accepted me after explaining what it is, and how I will react to situations (kissing, NO, cuddling, NO, Hugging, YES etc.).

[Vincisomething]

People I have told directly, um...

Wanted to learn more: 1

I found out they were demi too: 2

completely didn't understand/pity: 7-9 (haha i'm assuming 5-8 of them because one said something along the lines of, "i feel bad for you" and they didn't really say anything. I guess that number could be lower but I'm gonna be dramatic).

That's a good track record, right...?

[Zsareph]

Most of my friends were OK with it, though two responded with confused scepticism (one said "aren't we a bit young for that?" To this day I'm unsure if she meant discovering our orientations or thought it meant I was abstaining or something. Either way we were 16 at the time so sex related stuff isn't exactly uncommon.) One friend knew before I did and asked me if I was asexual.

I've told both my parents and they both seemed OK with it at the time but haven't mentioned it properly since. Both have also mentioned boyfriends and girlfriends at least once since and didn't show much reaction when I reminded them about my orientation. I get the feeling they don't mind because they don't truly believe me and are just waitin for me to start being interested :/ only time will tell.

[Janus the Fox]

None not need to care, many and most accept who I am regardless of and sexual/gender preference and configuration, for to whom are curious will only know what I feel in that moment.

[StrandedX02]

I'm new enough to this that I've never used the word "asexual" as a self-description. However, I have said for a while that I wasn't really interested in dating/relationships, which is definitely peculiar enough for a 31-year-old single dude that it's elicited a few puzzled looks. I've also started wearing an ace ring, and a man wearing a non-wedding ring is probably enough of an oddity that someone may ask me about it eventually if they notice.

Actually, this weekend should be pretty interesting. I'm going to a book club meeting that's about some of the stigmas around childlessness, a lot of which parallel and overlap those around asexuality (the whole "denying biology/human nature" thing). So I may steer the discussion that way if it seems appropriate, and I'd be curious to know what the other people in the group think.

[Kamkyo]

For the most part, when I tell people they accept it. Some are curious and want to know more, others are just 'OK cool' and then life goes on. A couple think I will grow out of it, Mum still holds on to hope that I'll 'meet the one' and spontaneously turn allosexual and develop a desire to have children. Some of my extended family seem to think it must be because I have poor self esteem and think I don't deserve love... Which isn't at all relevant to why I don't feel sexual attraction.

I'm not super forward about telling people; if the situation is suitable I will, but generally it doesn't come up which I'm fine with.

I recently told a friend that I hadn't seen in years, and we had an awesome (if awkward but I'm socially inept so life is awkward most of the time) conversation which is what led to me realising that I'd actually never knowingly spoken to another asexual person, online or in person so I found AVEN.

[InsideTheTombs]

As I've come to have a better understanding and awareness of myself, I've been fairly open about things. Not that I go around telling everyone, but I'm not embarrassed to speak up if the topic is relevant.

Most reactions I get are negative. Be it non-ace straight, gay, or bi people I meet. I generally feel judged and unaccepted.

[flowerychevy77]

My whole family simply said that I haven't met the right person yet or it's just a phase. And most people that know that aren't close to me just brushed it off and didn't care which is better than not accepting it I guess, haha. Then one of my best friends said that she had already guessed and she's great about it. She's the one I go to when I start panicking and need to talk to someone about my sexuality. Then my now ex-boyfriend was pretty great. He likes to joke about it.

[quixoticalDREAMER]

well, for the most part im closeted. i've told two friends, one who accepted it and the other who.. well, hasn't spoken to be about it. my family jokes around about me being asexual (they've also joked around about me being a lesbian), but they all seem convinced that i will find "the one" someday and will get married and all that. i don't really intend on telling anyone else, since it's not any of their business.

[RK800]

Most of them accept it, yes. My Mom still gets a little confuzzled when I don't react strongly as her to folks I find attractive and I'm not completely out about being trans. Most know but some don't.

[if-indeed]

I'm closeted for the most part IRL. I'm very picky about who I tell, and all but one person has been accepting and treat my sexuality as perfectly normal. I've had one person wildly misunderstand, though--to the point that she invited me to be the 5th wheel on a double-date without telling me, because she thought it "wouldn't be awkward for you anyway, since you're not into that." Ahm. It's really awkward to be 5th wheel regardless of anything else.

[gymgirl]

My companion in life and me have never made a secret of being a lesbian couple. We have never experienced rejection. Not in our church, not from parents of my students, neighbors... and certainly not from relatives.

What we do or not in respect of sexuality is nobody's business.

"Coming out as an asexual"? Shall I tell people "we do not have sex, you know"? Ridiculous.

We are just lesbians who are not into sex.

[Phantasmal Fingers]

I also agree that "coming out" is not a suitable phrase for aces to use. Unless, that is, they see themselves as part of LGBTetc. Which I don't, although I have nothing against those who do.

"Nobodyelse's Business!" pretty much sums it up! :)

[Stitchies]

Welp, I've only told a few people. Most of my friends that I've told have just kinda shrugged it off, said "cool" and didn't have much more to say on it.

Both of my best friends were very supportive and even saw it coming, although one of them did pull the "how can you know you don't like it without trying it?" card, but I guess that's understandable.

Haven't told my parents. Don't know if I plan to or not.

[Truth and Lies]

Any friends who know are completely supportive of it. It's a non-issue so it hasn't been discussed since I told them. I think one or two were curious for further explanations of my personal experiences with being aro and ace, but otherwise I haven't talked about it with any of my online friends for a long time. There's one person at present I will likely share it with if the topic ever arises, and I'm confident that they'll accept it.

Offline, with family, I haven't told any of them and do not plan to at the current time. I am content negating their comments of marriage and kids and dating. I don't have any offline friends—I haven't for a few years now, so that's a non-issue.

[StrandedX02]

I'm new enough to this that I've never used the word "asexual" as a self-description. However, I have said for a while that I wasn't really interested in dating/relationships, which is definitely peculiar enough for a 31-year-old single dude that it's elicited a few puzzled looks. I've also started wearing an ace ring, and a man wearing a non-wedding ring is probably enough of an oddity that someone may ask me about it eventually if they notice.

Actually, this weekend should be pretty interesting. I'm going to a book club meeting that's about some of the stigmas around childlessness, a lot of which parallel and overlap those around asexuality (the whole "denying biology/human nature" thing). So I may steer the discussion that way if it seems appropriate, and I'd be curious to know what the other people in the group think.

Just to follow up on this, I didn't bring up my asexuality during the book club itself (because I didn't want to derail a very good discussion). But I shared my thoughts and how they related to the book after the meeting, and the response was universally positive.

Also, I was at dinner last night with a couple friends and noticed that one of them was looking curiously at my ace ring, though he didn't ask me about it. So at least in my case, it's something that people do see, even if they don't necessarily know the significance of it.