FaerieFate

Helpful info for those questioning their (a)sexuality

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Bluerobin   
Bluerobin

Hi I'm a newbie and I'm still not sure what my sexuality is. I'm 16 and so lots of my friends are talking about guys they like and stuff, and they'll always ask who I like. Thing is I never really liked someone and I always found it hard to figure out what they meant. They'd look at pictures of guys and be like "oh he's so hot" but I wouldn't really see it. I always feel nervous whenever I'm asked who I like because I feel like I never know the answer. I've tried thinking about it before and I just end up going in circles. I've always been a bit more distant with guys and I wouldn't have any guy friends, and I seem to get on better with girls. Even though I don't think I'm sexually attracted to people I'm not really repulsed by the idea of sex. I'm a really huggy person so I like physical contact. All the same, whenever I saw kissing scenes in movies or anything like that, especially when I was little, I always wanted to look away. 

When I first read about asexuality I wasn't sure if it completely fit me. I was also a little daunted by it cos I was scared that maybe I'd change and I would get sexually attracted to someone later on in life. I felt like if I told people I was asexual they'd treat me differently and not want to form a relationship with me. When I learnt about squishes I was like YESSS because it was exactly how I felt about two of my friends. 

It's only been for the last few days that I've been sorta testing out asexuality and letting it sit with me to see what happens. I'd really appreciate it if you could tell me if anything here sounds like I might be asexual, I know you can't label me but any comments would be great. I'd also like to chat with a couple fellow teen aces that I could maybe relate to. Thanks a million and sorry for such a long post!!!!

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Una Salus Victus   
Una Salus Victus
1 hour ago, Bluerobin said:

Hi I'm a newbie and I'm still not sure what my sexuality is. I'm 16 and so lots of my friends are talking about guys they like and stuff, and they'll always ask who I like. Thing is I never really liked someone and I always found it hard to figure out what they meant. They'd look at pictures of guys and be like "oh he's so hot" but I wouldn't really see it. I always feel nervous whenever I'm asked who I like because I feel like I never know the answer. I've tried thinking about it before and I just end up going in circles. I've always been a bit more distant with guys and I wouldn't have any guy friends, and I seem to get on better with girls. Even though I don't think I'm sexually attracted to people I'm not really repulsed by the idea of sex. I'm a really huggy person so I like physical contact. All the same, whenever I saw kissing scenes in movies or anything like that, especially when I was little, I always wanted to look away. 

When I first read about asexuality I wasn't sure if it completely fit me. I was also a little daunted by it cos I was scared that maybe I'd change and I would get sexually attracted to someone later on in life. I felt like if I told people I was asexual they'd treat me differently and not want to form a relationship with me. When I learnt about squishes I was like YESSS because it was exactly how I felt about two of my friends. 

It's only been for the last few days that I've been sorta testing out asexuality and letting it sit with me to see what happens. I'd really appreciate it if you could tell me if anything here sounds like I might be asexual, I know you can't label me but any comments would be great. I'd also like to chat with a couple fellow teen aces that I could maybe relate to. Thanks a million and sorry for such a long post!!!!

 

To me, it sounds plausible, but at the end of the day, it's something that you have to decide for yourself, and if it makes sense and fits you. When I was new here, I personally found it easier to learn about asexuality by interacting with people, and reading peoples responses in threads, so it might be helpful if you want to find out more to stick around and explore a little bit. There's also plenty of info threads floating around as well (see first page of this thread).

 

As for your age and maybe not being ace in the future, I wouldn't worry about it. Plenty of peoples sexualities change over time, and that's perfectly fine. I wouldn't worry too much about what may or may not happen in the future, if you're comfortable with whatever you decide for yourself, and it makes sense now, go for it.

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KittyKat8888   
KittyKat8888

Hi, I'm new here, and I was wondering if someone could help me with clarifying my sexuality cause I was looking at some of them, mainly grey and demi in particular and even a little bit at cupio and I know there is overlaps and stuff when it comes to it, it would be nice to figure out exactly what it is that my sexuality is...cause you know... i thought it was Demi but looking into it... i'm not fully certain if it is Demi? But it not quite grey either? Like... it seems like it could be in-between or something? I just don't know i have a lot of questions and I'm totally new to the whole asexuality things... and it would just be nice to have someone to talk to about it... cause i feel like a walking contradiction.

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Abtin Hamz   
Abtin Hamz

HI, i think sex is disgusting and i hate it, i hate masterbuating too and because of my religious beliefs i think it's a very bad sin, but sometimes (twice a week at most) i feel a very weird and bad sexual feeling (this feeling is NOT about girls and boys or any human, a nude human look very disgusting to me) and i feel like my body needs to release extra pressure (semen) i try my best to resist but most of the times i fail and i masterbuate. my question is am i Asexual? what type of asexuality? does my little minor temporary libido make me straight (not asexual)?

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prib23   
prib23

My range on the asexual scale is fairly established. I like affection. Hugging, kissing, cuddling, holding hands and massages. However it doesn't have to culminate in intercourse. And I don't feel distant and unloved if we are not having sex like the sexual population does. No hourglass is running, no pressure is building and no love is waning over sexual activity. I can take it or leave it. Leaving it is fine. I tend to look deeply at the person within not the person they are not. I know the hyper sexual world at large believes this is bizarre or even impossible. I don't care what they believe. That's why I put my name and my picture out here for the world to see. So if your demi or grey or semi romantic I can accept that. I am not repulsed by sex nor am I  hypnotized by it. 

 

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Mayapapaya   
Mayapapaya

Hi! i think i need a little advise on the whole topic of asexuality. i think im somewhere in the asexual/demi-sexual spectrum but i feel like nothing is definite for me.

 

a little background info on my situation, and possibly a main factor is I've never dated anyone and I'm still in high school. I know I'm heterosexual but I'm not sure about the sexual part. I'm not sure if my stance/fear of sex is a true orientation or if its just the knowledge of "dangers" of having sex that both my parents and the US public school system has embedded into my brain. I've had crushes on guys but the part that makes me question things is how i more picture the relationship rather than sexual action when i develop a crush on someone.

 

Another area of question that i have is do i need to come out to my parents for being asexual? my parents are lgbtq+  accepting they are just a little uneducated on the vast spectrum that is gender and sexual expression. So i don't know even if they'll understand what i mean if i come out as asexual or more if they'll view it as something important or not.

 

Any advice helps! Thanks! 

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Just-A-Kid   
Just-A-Kid

In the past I've tried to date. I've had little crushes here and there and I used to believe in love. As I've gotten older though, I can't help but feel disgusted by romantic behavior. The mushy type- kissing, holding hands, confessing their undying love for eachother. 

 

I'm flirtatious in nature, I'll admit. But once things go beyond that, I immediately avoid that person. I get a sense of dread. This leads people to believe I'm a heartbreaker or a whore. Really though, I just don't want to date, I don't feel the need to be in a relationship. I like my independence.

 

Am I sexual? I think? I don't really know.

I don't really need a specific label for myself but I just want to know- what am I? Do I fit in the asexual category?

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Una Salus Victus   
Una Salus Victus

Romance orientations are different from sexual orientations. While for a lot of people they go together, it is possible to be a bit mix and match with them. Someone could be aromantic (the lack of romantic attraction) and then be whatever sexual.

 

Asexuality is about the lack of sexual attraction/desire, where as aromantic, as mentioned above is about the lack of interest in romance. You could be both, or could be neither. If you think either or fits, that's up to you.

 

If you want more info, you can check some of this stuff out if it helps: http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/137200-helpful-info-for-those-questioning-their-asexuality/#comment-1061718143

 

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FaerieFate   
FaerieFate

Hello, everyone! Sorry for the lack of replies. Spotty internet combined with health issues is a pain in the behind and make it hard to keep replies regular. Tal has been lovely enough to help thus far, so I'll try to get the ones he misses. 

 

On 12/23/2016 at 2:30 AM, KittyKat8888 said:

Hi, I'm new here, and I was wondering if someone could help me with clarifying my sexuality cause I was looking at some of them, mainly grey and demi in particular and even a little bit at cupio and I know there is overlaps and stuff when it comes to it, it would be nice to figure out exactly what it is that my sexuality is...cause you know... i thought it was Demi but looking into it... i'm not fully certain if it is Demi? But it not quite grey either? Like... it seems like it could be in-between or something? I just don't know i have a lot of questions and I'm totally new to the whole asexuality things... and it would just be nice to have someone to talk to about it... cause i feel like a walking contradiction.

Try reading this post: 

 

On 12/23/2016 at 0:07 PM, Abtin Hamz said:

HI, i think sex is disgusting and i hate it, i hate masterbuating too and because of my religious beliefs i think it's a very bad sin, but sometimes (twice a week at most) i feel a very weird and bad sexual feeling (this feeling is NOT about girls and boys or any human, a nude human look very disgusting to me) and i feel like my body needs to release extra pressure (semen) i try my best to resist but most of the times i fail and i masterbuate. my question is am i Asexual? what type of asexuality? does my little minor temporary libido make me straight (not asexual)?

Thank your for showing me that I don't have a post on libido on here! I'll get to that! So the need for release or orgasm not connected to sexual attraction or desire for sex with anyone is a libido. For asexuals with a libido like myself, we don't desire sex. However, we do have a desire to "get off". This causes us to masturbate. We don't imagine it with anyone, we don't want sex, it doesn't change our sexuality. It just means that we're human beings that have a sex drive/libido. No, that doesn't affect your asexuality. It just means you have a libido.

 

For asexuals without a libido, that's fine too. Neither is more "normal" than the other, they're just two different states that have no affect on your (a)sexuality.

 

On 12/25/2016 at 11:23 PM, Mayapapaya said:

Hi! i think i need a little advise on the whole topic of asexuality. i think im somewhere in the asexual/demi-sexual spectrum but i feel like nothing is definite for me.

 

a little background info on my situation, and possibly a main factor is I've never dated anyone and I'm still in high school. I know I'm heterosexual but I'm not sure about the sexual part. I'm not sure if my stance/fear of sex is a true orientation or if its just the knowledge of "dangers" of having sex that both my parents and the US public school system has embedded into my brain. I've had crushes on guys but the part that makes me question things is how i more picture the relationship rather than sexual action when i develop a crush on someone.

 

Another area of question that i have is do i need to come out to my parents for being asexual? my parents are lgbtq+  accepting they are just a little uneducated on the vast spectrum that is gender and sexual expression. So i don't know even if they'll understand what i mean if i come out as asexual or more if they'll view it as something important or not.

 

Any advice helps! Thanks! 

Hello! Umm... I can't link you one post to answer your question. Please refer back to the first post of this thread and go through all of the posts that I've written in the first few posts. That'll answer all of your questions. As for your parents, it'll also help you explain it to them as well as give you references to show them. I promise, it's all in there (well, most of it).  I worked very hard to make sure all or most of the information is there, so please take advantage of that fact.

 

 

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VVRL   
VVRL

Hello, I'm new here.

 

I'm male, 17 and very confused! I don't know whether I'm asexual or maybe gay and asexual. I find men attractive and I fancy males in my year at school, however  I don't have a strong sexual attraction to them, apart from one who I am obsessed by. 

 

Having said that, I find the actual act of anal sex quite scary and repulsive and it's not something I really want to do. I'm scared about the pain, the general feeling, the consequences of it on your anus and I find male genitalia quite ugly and if I did go out with a guy I fancied, I can't see myself (currently) wanting to have sex with them (apart from this one person.)

 

I don't know whether I'm gay and scared of sex, or am somewhere on the asexual spectrum. I definitely have a longing for a romantic interest and I like the idea of companionship. I'm not totally averse to sex but it's not something I really want to do. I've never masturbated or produced semen over someone either.

 

 

 

 

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FaerieFate   
FaerieFate
15 minutes ago, VVRL said:

Hello, I'm new here.

 

I'm male, 17 and very confused! I don't know whether I'm asexual or maybe gay and asexual. I find men attractive and I fancy males in my year at school, however  I don't have a strong sexual attraction to them, apart from one who I am obsessed by. 

 

Having said that, I find the actual act of anal sex quite scary and repulsive and it's not something I really want to do. I'm scared about the pain, the general feeling, the consequences of it on your anus and I find male genitalia quite ugly and if I did go out with a guy I fancied, I can't see myself (currently) wanting to have sex with them (apart from this one person.)

 

I don't know whether I'm gay and scared of sex, or am somewhere on the asexual spectrum. I definitely have a longing for a romantic interest and I like the idea of companionship. I'm not totally averse to sex but it's not something I really want to do. I've never masturbated or produced semen over someone either.

 

 

 

 

ANOTHER ONE!

 

First off, no one can label you but yourself. However, I can help give you the resources you need to label yourself. Second off, I'm not a medical professional, but I'd like to suggest you try not to word it as, "Scared of sex." I wouldn't say it's particularly offensive as much as that kind of negative thinking isn't really healthy for your emotional state. It can lead to low self worth.

 

And I'll go into a few things that may answer your question. You may want to consider that you may be on the ace spectrum. Read into that. Personally, I don't think all sexuals think genitalia is particularly good looking. Sometimes people just think it looks gross. That doesn't make you asexual. Just a human being with an opinion. As for sex itself, that doesn't affect your sexual attraction. There are other ways male homosexuals can have sex without going to anal. You might want to do some research on that. I can't help you because I honestly don't know. 

 

I hope this helps. That's about all I can say.

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AnonymousPerson1   
AnonymousPerson1

I have begun to question my sexuality... I am not sure if I am asexual. I felt more sexual attraction to people but now I am feeling much less so. I practically have no sexual feelings at this point.  I have always thought that porn and sex was repulsive; however, I still have had some sexual fantasies. I am not attracted to people being naked, but I do feel sexually attracted to someone if they have clothes on. At this point I don't know if I am actually feeling sexual attraction, or if I have lied to myself over the years and convinced myself that it wasn't just aesthetic attraction. I do have sexual fantasies, but they usually don't directly involve sex. The most I fantasize about would be considered foreplay. I do occasionally fantasize about having actual sex though, but that was never really often and now I am not at all. I am disgusted by the thought of oral sex. I think other people having sex is disgusting, I hate seeing porn, but I still sometimes feel like I want to have sex with certain people. 

 

I have never been very sexual, but recently I feel like I have sexual attraction to almost nothing. When I have aroused thoughts I usually just think about certain features of a certain person's body, but I don't often think about actually having sex with them. Like I will think about a particular part of a person's body that I find attractive, never genitalia, usually legs, posterior, stomach, chest.  I feel arousal and sexual towards people, but I don't usually think about actually having sex with them. I don't know.... This is hard to explain, and I feel like I am trying to explain something that I don't fully understand. I want to have romantic relationships with people but I am not sure if a relationship can be romantic without it being sexual. Am I sexual with a low limbedo or just asexual? I also have never masturbated, I have just never felt the need or desire to. 

 

I am really struggling to understand what I am going through. I don't really know how I feel or what I feel. I think I am asexual but I am just having a really hard time coming to terms with it. Can someone please just tell me what their opinion is? I don't really feel like I have anywhere to go to.  As asexuals, do you go through the same things that I described? Have I just been convincing myself that I am sexual, or was it that I really did feel sexual at one point? I know that no one will really be able to exactly defne my sexuality, only I can do that. But I would just like to know what people think... because I don't. Please help

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LiaWolf   
LiaWolf

Okay, so... *takes a deep breath* I'm  a bit confused. I want to be cuddled, hugged, kissed (no tongues though. ew)--I've had crushes before, actually have one right now, and I can look at both men and women and pick out hot girls/guys. But the idea of sex just... repulses me. It's disgusting and, well, pointless. I might enjoy it with someone I'm extremely close to, but haven't encountered anyone like that yet. I've felt sexual attraction before I think, but the idea of acting on it is... well, yeah. Gross. But I know I can fall in love with someone, and I really do want a relationship, and I want to be intimate with my partner... but I don't like the idea of sex. But then what does that make me? I'm 99% sure it puts me on the spectrum, but where?

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Una Salus Victus   
Una Salus Victus
21 minutes ago, LiaWolf said:

Okay, so... *takes a deep breath* I'm  a bit confused. I want to be cuddled, hugged, kissed (no tongues though. ew)--I've had crushes before, actually have one right now, and I can look at both men and women and pick out hot girls/guys. But the idea of sex just... repulses me. It's disgusting and, well, pointless. I might enjoy it with someone I'm extremely close to, but haven't encountered anyone like that yet. I've felt sexual attraction before I think, but the idea of acting on it is... well, yeah. Gross. But I know I can fall in love with someone, and I really do want a relationship, and I want to be intimate with my partner... but I don't like the idea of sex. But then what does that make me? I'm 99% sure it puts me on the spectrum, but where?

 

Here on AVEN, there's sexual attraction, and then there's romantic attraction, and for a lot of people here, they're separate. Someone could be biromantic asexual for example. Maybe I could suggest you look into something like this and decide if this is something that fits you. There's some handy links here, that might interest you. Alternatively, you can look at the Romantic orientation forums here to see if there's anything you can relate to.

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Una Salus Victus   
Una Salus Victus
On 15/01/2017 at 9:29 AM, AnonymousPerson1 said:

I have begun to question my sexuality... I am not sure if I am asexual. I felt more sexual attraction to people but now I am feeling much less so. I practically have no sexual feelings at this point.  I have always thought that porn and sex was repulsive; however, I still have had some sexual fantasies. I am not attracted to people being naked, but I do feel sexually attracted to someone if they have clothes on. At this point I don't know if I am actually feeling sexual attraction, or if I have lied to myself over the years and convinced myself that it wasn't just aesthetic attraction. I do have sexual fantasies, but they usually don't directly involve sex. The most I fantasize about would be considered foreplay. I do occasionally fantasize about having actual sex though, but that was never really often and now I am not at all. I am disgusted by the thought of oral sex. I think other people having sex is disgusting, I hate seeing porn, but I still sometimes feel like I want to have sex with certain people. 

 

I have never been very sexual, but recently I feel like I have sexual attraction to almost nothing. When I have aroused thoughts I usually just think about certain features of a certain person's body, but I don't often think about actually having sex with them. Like I will think about a particular part of a person's body that I find attractive, never genitalia, usually legs, posterior, stomach, chest.  I feel arousal and sexual towards people, but I don't usually think about actually having sex with them. I don't know.... This is hard to explain, and I feel like I am trying to explain something that I don't fully understand. I want to have romantic relationships with people but I am not sure if a relationship can be romantic without it being sexual. Am I sexual with a low limbedo or just asexual? I also have never masturbated, I have just never felt the need or desire to. 

 

I am really struggling to understand what I am going through. I don't really know how I feel or what I feel. I think I am asexual but I am just having a really hard time coming to terms with it. Can someone please just tell me what their opinion is? I don't really feel like I have anywhere to go to.  As asexuals, do you go through the same things that I described? Have I just been convincing myself that I am sexual, or was it that I really did feel sexual at one point? I know that no one will really be able to exactly defne my sexuality, only I can do that. But I would just like to know what people think... because I don't. Please help

 

I don't know how much, if at all this'll help, but since hearing other people's experience has helped me out before, this could do.  

 

When I first heard about asexuality years ago, I found it was something that somewhat made sense, and just clicked. I had, and do have a rather lacking interest in sex, too the point where I've never felt inclined that I really wanted to have sex with anyone. However, I had that little thing where I do, from time to time fantasise over people, usually to entertain my libido. After a while on being on AVEN, I came across Grey-asexuality, and having read a bit on it, it seemed to fit more than just asexual. For me, there was that slight sliver of attraction, enough to think about someone, but there was very little to no interest in actually having sex with them.

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o.🌹   
o.🌹

Hey,

I'm a 17 year old (almost 18) girl who's really confused about her sexuality. The thing is, I'm physically attracted to girls but I have no desire to engage with them emotionally, sexually or romantically. I'm only physically attracted to them and that's as simple as that. When it comes to guys, I'm never attracted to them. Sometimes I find a guy physically attractive but it's very rare that it happens. What confuses me more is that there's a celebrity that I've never even MET whom I'm attracted to physically, sexually, emotionally AND romantically. It's like one of those "I can't imagine myself with anyone else but you" situations.

 

I feel like I personally know this guy after 7 years of watching his interviews, listening to his music etc. even though I've never seen him in person before. I know of his story and I feel like I can relate to him in many ways so I feel emotionally attached and bonded to him. It's scaring me, tbh. Because I don't feel this way about anyone except for him. I don't even have the desire to develop emotional/romantic/sexual friendships and relationships with anyone but him. No matter how hard I try to like someone, it never works. I can promise you that I'm not an obsessed and crazy fan haha. I'm nothing like that, I swear. I just don't know why I have feelings for this guy I've never met yet feel like I've known him forever. I saw a post by a girl back in 2015 and she was going through a very similar situation but I guess our situations are kind of different. She figured out she was demisexual and I feel as though I am too but I don't understand why I have no desire to develop any emotional or romantic feelings for anyone else. 

 

What would my sexuality be? I hope you can reply,

Thank you so much ^_^

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FaerieFate   
FaerieFate
1 hour ago, o.🌹 said:

Hey,

I'm a 17 year old (almost 18) girl who's really confused about her sexuality. The thing is, I'm physically attracted to girls but I have no desire to engage with them emotionally, sexually or romantically. I'm only physically attracted to them and that's as simple as that. When it comes to guys, I'm never attracted to them. Sometimes I find a guy physically attractive but it's very rare that it happens. What confuses me more is that there's a celebrity that I've never even MET whom I'm attracted to physically, sexually, emotionally AND romantically. It's like one of those "I can't imagine myself with anyone else but you" situations.

 

I feel like I personally know this guy after 7 years of watching his interviews, listening to his music etc. even though I've never seen him in person before. I know of his story and I feel like I can relate to him in many ways so I feel emotionally attached and bonded to him. It's scaring me, tbh. Because I don't feel this way about anyone except for him. I don't even have the desire to develop emotional/romantic/sexual friendships and relationships with anyone but him. No matter how hard I try to like someone, it never works. I can promise you that I'm not an obsessed and crazy fan haha. I'm nothing like that, I swear. I just don't know why I have feelings for this guy I've never met yet feel like I've known him forever. I saw a post by a girl back in 2015 and she was going through a very similar situation but I guess our situations are kind of different. She figured out she was demisexual and I feel as though I am too but I don't understand why I have no desire to develop any emotional or romantic feelings for anyone else. 

 

What would my sexuality be? I hope you can reply,

Thank you so much ^_^

Hey. I'm unable to write anything at the moment, but look back at this post. 

 

 

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Mys   
Mys

I think I'm asexual or gray asexual? in that I don't think I've ever felt sexual attraction to anyone. I can feel sexual arousal from imagining foreplay and sometimes actual sex though, which involves myself and whoever. But I have no strong desire for sex and I have never wanted to engage in sexual activities with someone. However, I don't know if that's because I have never fallen in love too. I do wonder if I'm possibly aromantic or cupioromantic or gray aromantic or just haven't met someone I want to be in a romantic relationship with yet? It's all quite confusing when you're questioning yourself. 

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mari123   
mari123

First when I discover that propably I'm asexual I thought that i didn't fit with pure asexual definition. I was in relationship with one person. I sure that I'm hetero and I'm not atracted to girls. I don't mind cuddling,  delictate kissing or hugging but when I think about engage myself in sex it disgust me. I think about  myself as demisexual heteroromantic person because I must be really close emontionaly with someone to initiate the physical contact but I have no desire for sex and I'm repulsed by it.  

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FlyingNowhere   
FlyingNowhere

So I have questions.

 

I really like boys and think they are cute and all, but I don't want to have sex with them. I want to cuddle and hug them and go on cute dates with them and stuff like that. I occasionally get turned on by porn and sexual stuff, but not that often. Like my mind is almost never on sex, but occasionally I'll watch stuff and masturbate and get turned on. But I don't want to have sex and I find it disgusting to have and it is painful and not fun! But I get turned on by other stuff sometimes. Am I asexual? Am I gray sexual? HELP!

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Una Salus Victus   
Una Salus Victus
18 minutes ago, FlyingNowhere said:

So I have questions.

 

I really like boys and think they are cute and all, but I don't want to have sex with them. I want to cuddle and hug them and go on cute dates with them and stuff like that. I occasionally get turned on by porn and sexual stuff, but not that often. Like my mind is almost never on sex, but occasionally I'll watch stuff and masturbate and get turned on. But I don't want to have sex and I find it disgusting to have and it is painful and not fun! But I get turned on by other stuff sometimes. Am I asexual? Am I gray sexual? HELP!

 

Romantic orientations can be separate from your sexual orientation, for example you can be hetero or homoromantic etc and be asexual. As for the rest, libido is a body function like getting hungry, so it's possible that it's jsut your body is just doing it's thing.

 

If you want to look into being grey ace, you can check out the grey ace sub forum here:

http://www.asexuality.org/en/forum/72-the-gray-area-sex-and-related-discussions/

If you find something useful there, and you think it fits you, then by all means, you can call yourself grey a.

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light-brush   
light-brush
On 4/17/2016 at 7:02 PM, faeriefate said:

Grey-Asexual - Someone who only rarely experiences sexual attraction (and can generally count the amount of times they've felt it on one hand).

Don't forget, there are much more other factors to take in for gray-aces! 

  • Feeling it but at such a low intensity they are not sure if they feel it or not.
  • Feeling it but with no desire to act upon it.
  • Feeling it but only during some circumstances (such as before, during, or after a girl's "time of the month", or during when you are [only] partaking in sex, etc.)

For anyone else who is questioning. :)

 

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FaerieFate   
FaerieFate
42 minutes ago, light-brush said:

Don't forget, there are much more other factors to take in for gray-aces! 

  • Feeling it but at such a low intensity they are not sure if they feel it or not.
  • Feeling it but with no desire to act upon it.
  • Feeling it but only during some circumstances (such as before, during, or after a girl's "time of the month", or during when you are [only] partaking in sex, etc.)

For anyone else who is questioning. :)

 

I'll take it into consideration. Do you have any links I can reverence to? 

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light-brush   
light-brush
1 hour ago, faeriefate said:

I'll take it into consideration. Do you have any links I can reverence to? 

This tumblr in particular has an assortment of info. As to where I got that information, I'd say here and here. :)

 

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Constantinehayes   
Constantinehayes

So recently I have been questioning my sexuality. I'm 26 and have had two serious relationships. While in these relationships sex was a regular thing, but for me sex has always been something that was an expression of love. I have had a couple of hookups after these relationships and they were not really satisfying or enjoyable. I am figuring that sexual attraction or desire is related to love, because I don't really find attraction or desire outside of deep and meaningful relationships. I'm not asking you to label me, but if you could give me any information or point me in a direction it would be greatly appreciated. 

-ConstantineHayes

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Una Salus Victus   
Una Salus Victus
On 2017-4-27 at 1:19 PM, Constantinehayes said:

So recently I have been questioning my sexuality. I'm 26 and have had two serious relationships. While in these relationships sex was a regular thing, but for me sex has always been something that was an expression of love. I have had a couple of hookups after these relationships and they were not really satisfying or enjoyable. I am figuring that sexual attraction or desire is related to love, because I don't really find attraction or desire outside of deep and meaningful relationships. I'm not asking you to label me, but if you could give me any information or point me in a direction it would be greatly appreciated. 

-ConstantineHayes

It sounds like looking up demisexual might help. Demisexuality is when someone feels attraction after forming a close emotional bond with someone (like a long term partner for example.) If you think that this is something that helps and you think it fits, then by all means.

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abbiratm   
abbiratm

I have anxiety and someone suggested I maybe be asexual and I became consumed by thoughts. I experience physical attraction - I have been drawn in by physical appearance but I'm not sure id say aroused. When I like someone I feel the urge to be romantic, to touch them and whenever ive imagined a relationship I've always imagined having sex though the thought doesn't arouse me. I'm not sure if I imagine being in a sexual relationship because I feel sexual attraction or because I know that's what's expected of a relationship. I've had bad experiences with sex in the past and never really found it that enjoyable as it's always been casual. Any thoughts?

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M00SE   
M00SE

Hey folks,  I too am full of questions. Is there scientific research, any at all that can explain what causes asexuality? Can it be present at birth, is it similar to homosexuality in that aspect? Okay, so Im 23 year old woman. Im horribly addicted to yuri hentai yet no desire for sexual partnership with a woman though the form of females captivate me.. I have felt sexually attracted to a woman only twice in my life with close personal friends, does that make me demi? Ive avoided sex like the plague for over two decades and I feel crazy for it. How easy is it to find people like you in your areas of residence? What percentage does asexuality make in the US population VS people of other sexualities? I know there hasnt been a whole lot of research compared to other sexualities. Why do you folks think that is? Is asexuality more of a recent discovery?  

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athenahono   
athenahono

I just started figuring out my asexuality and romantic orientation and I'm really grateful for this thread and others like it! It's really helped me figure myself out more! I feel more comfortable in my own skin now. Thank you so much! I'm only 17 but this has really helped me!

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Telperion   
Telperion

Hi, so um, I'm rather new to figuring out my sexuality. I'm not terribly young, or old (I'm only 26) but I've been questioning it a lot lately. I turned to a Facebook page today for help, and they suggested a blog which had this site on it. This is what I sent the Facebook group: So, I'm not sure who to turn to. I came to the realization a few months ago that I'm demi-sexual. And I've tried coming out to a few friends and family. With the exception of one friend, everyone has told me that I haven't met the right guy, I just need really intimate trust in order to have sex, or that I'm just super picky. And since trying the online dating thing, I think I might like the idea of a relationship but I'm not sure I actually want one (is there such a thing?). So, now I'm super confused. Am I asexual or just confused? Is there something wrong about the fact that I feel no need for sex or a relationship?

Honestly, I'm so super confused now, but I also feel pretty pissed that people think that they know my own feelings better than I do. Can anyone help me with this? I'm seeing a guy (it's not official or anything yet) and I felt pretty uncomfortable when he wanted to snuggle the other day (it wasn't even anything sexual at all), so I'm wondering if that's something that exists too? Being uncomfortable with other people touching or initiating cuddling?

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