Grace Barton Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 I would never consider an online relationship. While it's easier for me to talk to people online, I could not do that. If someone asked me, I'd be terrified. Most of that is due to my own perceptions and inexperience, and that I'd find any kind of close relationship uncomfortable, rather than the idea itself. I think it's great some have found partners this way, but it isn't something I could do. Link to post Share on other sites
Perissodactyla Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 I feel that the concept, "relationship", or "online relationship" can be problematic. I would prefer a "lab partner". You do labs together and when the course is over, perhaps your lab partner is not in your next lab course. Or maybe they are. :) Link to post Share on other sites
Blakrana Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 As communication technology improves, there is certainly a lot more making it workable than not. World's a big place and we're getting pretty good at communicating with an assortment people from all places. Now...having been in a few online relationships, there's nothing to say it's not impossible. They can work. But they take effort and they can't be the end goal in and of itself. It really comes down to the individuals involved and what they're willing to try or not try. Link to post Share on other sites
semper Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 I chikened out the last time someone really really special asked me. Really regret it now and miss them like whoa. I'd definitely do an online long-distance relationship now. Because, come on, skype is out there and you can always arrange a trip together or talk on the phone or anything else. Who knows? Maybe you'll move to them or they to you to cuddle you on a couch. I don't want to say that I'm right, since we all have different views, but I feel myself really stupid after finding that person and backing out just because I thought it's hard or couldnn't work. I think it's worth a try. Link to post Share on other sites
Nea Rose Symphony Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 If I was single and in the mood for a relationship I would consider it. Since it'd be the only way to meet asexuals. But I'd be friends first until I get a feel for the person behind the screen Link to post Share on other sites
MaxCaulfield Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 Never tried it; but I think I'd be open to the idea with someone I was getting to like. I'd want it to lead to some real world contact eventually though, air travel makes the world a pretty small place. Link to post Share on other sites
Perissodactyla Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 If you get to the point of wanting to hold hands... at a distance... you can both print a photo of each other's hand... and hold it. :) I did this! Awesome! First contact! :) Link to post Share on other sites
El-not-so-ace Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 I had one before that wasn't super serious and am in a serious one now. We've met in real life before so that was great to see if the dynamic and comfortableness was still there. Now, we're planning on seeing each other again by taking turns and, if everything works out, definitely decided that we're not keeping it long-distance for ever. :) We both thought we were demisexuals (well, I thought for sure that I was an ace for many years before him) and it turns out that we were just really picky and didn't trust easily, looking for someone who'd match us very well... I love it but at the same time, I miss him so much and am missing the opportunity to cuddle up. I'd definitely not recommend it for everyone since it makes you get a tough skin to keep persisting even with such a distance and the lack of in-person contact. With that said, I don't regret seeking such an amazing guy online! :) Link to post Share on other sites
Cinnamon Biscuit Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 Would you ask an asexual if they wanted to be in an online relationship with you? It's possible. I can form friendships online fairly easily, I have a best friend who I've only met once in person, and online may be a good starting place for romantic relationships. I don't think I would ask as much as it would just happen? We'd just become close and probably find ways to communicate more or see each other. I don't think I'd ask someone to be in an exclusive/steady romantic relationship if strictly online or I hadn't met them in person. For a whole slew of reasons I wouldn't/couldn't do that. Have you asked someone asexual if they wanted to be in an online relationship with you? Nope. I haven't known about my own asexuality for very long nor know any asexuals well enough to ask that. Has anyone asked you to be in an online relationship with them? People online have wanted me to reciprocate romantic feelings before. I turned them all down :P If someone was asexual and lived far away from you, and you wanted to be in a relationship with them, would you try an online or long distance relationship with them, or would you wait to date someone that lives closer to you? If I really liked them and thought it could become a good relationship, I'd at least try. If there was no reasonable chance to eventually live near each other... I'd probably stay good online friends. I've had tons of online friendships and I value them, but intimacy in those takes more time, and thus harder, for me to maintain. Moreover, there's a physicality to relationships I need that I can't get online. So without the prospect of having a relationship in person I wouldn't attempt anything more than friendship. Link to post Share on other sites
knout Posted March 30, 2016 Share Posted March 30, 2016 You mean there are relationships in the real world? :P Link to post Share on other sites
Snao Cone Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 I was having online relationships back in the 90s, before it was cool! :P ...but being aromantic, a sustainable relationship for me would have to fit multiple needs, since there's no fuzzy feeling there. Online relationships are very unlikely to serve that, unless we can also travel back and forth to visit each other regularly. And, I mean, if there isn't a need for sex, I doubt I would have any incentive to do that. Link to post Share on other sites
Squirrel Combat Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 I guess I've had unofficial ones, but they petered out after a while, mostly from never being able to meet up, due to distance. It's okay as long as the prospect of meeting them is in the foreseeable future. But at the same time, every time I have met up with someone in person or on skype it was always awkward and weird (perhaps because I prefer walking around and such over just sitting in one place). Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 I was having online relationships back in the 90s, before it was cool! :P ...but being aromantic, a sustainable relationship for me would have to fit multiple needs, since there's no fuzzy feeling there. Online relationships are very unlikely to serve that, unless we can also travel back and forth to visit each other regularly. And, I mean, if there isn't a need for sex, I doubt I would have any incentive to do that. The only other incentive I can see is to get a break from annoying internet-based fights for a few days... communicating largely without tone can be tricky. Link to post Share on other sites
Snao Cone Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 I was having online relationships back in the 90s, before it was cool! :P ...but being aromantic, a sustainable relationship for me would have to fit multiple needs, since there's no fuzzy feeling there. Online relationships are very unlikely to serve that, unless we can also travel back and forth to visit each other regularly. And, I mean, if there isn't a need for sex, I doubt I would have any incentive to do that. The only other incentive I can see is to get a break from annoying internet-based fights for a few days... communicating largely without tone can be tricky. I also feel like I'm using my time more wisely if I have variation in the means of communicating. If I do nothing but hang out with someone I will get so exhausted and wish I could communicate from a distance. If I do nothing but communicate from a distance (online or by text message or whatevs) I feel like I'm lacking something and wasting my time on thing without substance. Since with friendships, I have a mix of ones that are entirely online and ones that are in person, so I can get that need for social variety fulfilled. In a relationship, with one partner, I can't imagine I could keep sane like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Perissodactyla Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 Being a frequent participant in the 'AVEN collective/swarm' is a bit of a simulation of an online relationship, no? Compare with: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Egregore Link to post Share on other sites
wyrdwyrm Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 The closest I ever came to a real relationship was an online one. There was a lot I liked about the medium, but I did miss the whole cuddling thing...that is assuming I'd be any good at it. It might be that online is as close to someone as I should get... Link to post Share on other sites
IntrovertedBuddhist Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 I'm really knew to this whole interwebs communication thing haha! I don't even have a facebook or twitter. Still, I'd try it out. There would probably need to be the oppurtunity to meet up at some point though. Unless somebody builds the computer that you can hug through :P engineers, get on it! :D Link to post Share on other sites
Stargazer365 Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 I wouldn't mind an online or LDR at first with a few real life visits. Once I feel the relationship could be long term, I would definitely need to have more frequent visits with the person. Eventually, one of us would have to move closer to the other. I wouldn't want a permanent online or LDR. I definitely would like physical companionship. Link to post Share on other sites
Anime Pancake Posted March 31, 2016 Author Share Posted March 31, 2016 Thanks everyone! It's helpful getting to know other people's perspectives. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 I'm totally cool with online relationships. And frankly, finding an ace guy that is compatible will be hard enough... finding one locally will be impossible. So, if I want an ace, I will have to do online LDR :P Never asked an asexual. Have had four that started online with sexuals though. I never asked, it was more a ... mutual hey we like each other thing? Link to post Share on other sites
Morning Glory Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 The closest I ever came to a real relationship was an online one. There was a lot I liked about the medium, but I did miss the whole cuddling thing...that is assuming I'd be any good at it. It might be that online is as close to someone as I should get...Hey now! Don't go selling yourself short. You're bound to find that right person. ;3 they say it happens when you least expect it.I'm really knew to this whole interwebs communication thing haha! I don't even have a facebook or twitter. Still, I'd try it out. There would probably need to be the oppurtunity to meet up at some point though. Unless somebody builds the computer that you can hug through :P engineers, get on it! :DCan't be far off. I came across this weird article... Apparently engineers are making a machine that will basically let you kiss online. o.e like if two people had this thing hooked up to their computer they could kiss each other. Course it wouldn't be much like the real thing, but... I dunno. I was fascinated by the technology but I couldn't help but be mildly disturbed. >.< probably just me though.Thanks everyone! It's helpful getting to know other people's perspectives.No problem. :3 The more I think about it... The more fun it sounds. The main trouble for me is that i seem to be slightly paranoid despite myself... And typical relationships make me uncomfortable. Link to post Share on other sites
DannyFenton123 Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 Just as much I'd consider an offline relationship; equal amounts of no thanks ;) Link to post Share on other sites
catsnwaffles Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 I'm actually in an online relationship, and it seems to be working perfectly fine for me. I personally believe that love is not limited by distance, or by anything in fact. If two people online have a connection, I say go for it. Online dating does have it's ups and downs, but every relationship does. And yeah, you do get to a point where you'd like to cuddle with that person or something, and I guess that'd be one of the cons of a online relationship. But hey, it gives you something to look forward to, right? Link to post Share on other sites
flesh-pocket Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 the only 'relationship' i ever tried to have was online. (i knew the person from real life as well though) the distance didnt bother me, but thats only because i didnt really 'like-like' the guy. i had just gone my entire high school experience without having been on one date, he was the first person to ask, and he wasnt a total rando. the distance didnt bother me because i didnt think it was going to be more serious than a friendship with a fancy name. i did not take well to it and ended the whole thing before much happened.... i still cant imagine a relationship being much more than a friendship with a fancy name. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 i remember having one that lasted a month & honestly i got bored so i ended it by telling the guy that i needed space Link to post Share on other sites
timewarp Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 i remember having one that lasted a month & honestly i got bored so i ended it by telling the guy that i needed space Yep. Needing space is absolutely key here. I really don't get why people have to spend all their time together - and as staying in touch online is technically possible 24/7, that would be almost expected. Nah, it's better to spend some quality time together, and for the rest of the time be happy that both have an interesting off-relationship life. Link to post Share on other sites
alyra noire Posted April 1, 2016 Share Posted April 1, 2016 well most all my life I was told that relationships are sex.. so despite wanting a sex-free relationship... I honestly don't know what I'd even expect. I also don't really make friends very well either.. so maybe I am just an asocial loner. fine by me! Link to post Share on other sites
deleted_account Posted April 1, 2016 Share Posted April 1, 2016 I used to date online when I was younger and had more issues with social anxiety. My reasoning was it was too scary to ask someone out IRL, and dating online removed the fear for me. I also had horrible self-esteem and felt that nobody local would ever want me - I had to choose from a larger group of people, like the entire continental United States, because there were so few people who would ever want to be with me (sob sob, haha). However, plane tickets and car rides are ridiculously expensive, so now I just date in-person. I don't really care about what people think of me these days, and I don't mind asking someone out IRL. Link to post Share on other sites
CheekyStoat Posted April 1, 2016 Share Posted April 1, 2016 I potentially would, if there was a bond forming but *only* if there was some way of knowing we'd be able to meet up and stay nearby together in the not too distant future. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 1, 2016 Share Posted April 1, 2016 i remember having one that lasted a month & honestly i got bored so i ended it by telling the guy that i needed space Yep. Needing space is absolutely key here. I really don't get why people have to spend all their time together - and as staying in touch online is technically possible 24/7, that would be almost expected. Nah, it's better to spend some quality time together, and for the rest of the time be happy that both have an interesting off-relationship life. Technically, staying in contact is possible anywhere - IRL relationships they want you to text/call them all the time, plus come over. Online, they expect emails/texts/calls all the time. If they are that type, anyway. Some people like space, so it's best to find people who also want it. I don't really get the spending ALL the time together either. I do like a fair amount of time together, but if you get busy, hey you're busy. If you need to go do whatever, do whatever. Link to post Share on other sites
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