What do you think about sex when you're drunk?

[BreanneW]

I'm ace, I've known I am ace. But for some reason I'm okay with hooking up with strangers while I'm drunk. It started because my friend's didn't know so I put on a show. Now I feel myself being intoxicated and telling people I would get with them. Never anyone I actually like or know, but real strangers. I mean. Honestly, I don't ever end up do it so maybe drunk me is saying it to say it? It just confuses me and when I wake up the next day I'm a little disappointed in myself.

Does this happen to anyone else?

[Guest]

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[Guest]

I don't know. I have always felt the exact same about sex drunk as I do sober (ie, no interest in having it, no more likely to start flirting with some random or whatever) ..Being drunk makes sex easier if I have to have it (ie when I had a sexual ex like 5 years ago) but easier as in, less uncomfortable/painful as my body was more relaxed, not more pleasurable or enjoyable or desirable or anything.

[CaesiousSilver]

I tend to think/feel exactly the same. Drunk me is just a less reserved version of me concerning everything that isn't sex or romance or sensuality. I get drunk after like one or two drinks (depending on how long it's been since I last drank... and I don't drink very often) but it wears off so fast that I never seem to get to the point of drunkenness that a lot of my friends and peers seem to reach where they become totally indiscriminate about who they make out/hook up with. Alcohol is supposed to lower your inhibitions as far as that kind of thing goes, so either my 'inhibitions' are as impenetrable as diamond or they're made irrelevant by my asexuality. If I ever had a sexual partner, getting drunk would make sleeping with them easier (but how disheartening would that be in their eyes, I wonder?) but even if I were to somehow manage to get 'completely hammered', as they say, if someone were to make a move on me or proposition me in any way I have no doubt that I would be stumbling in the opposite direction as fast as my drink-addled legs could take me. ;)

I'm not sure what would explain why you say those kind of things when you get drunk. Other than the fact that alcohol can make people do/say all sorts of things that they wouldn't normally. Like eating super spicy pizza when you normally can't stand mouth-numbingly spicy foods (been there). It's probably not anything to worry about... so long as people don't think you're leading them on. I imagine that could get messy.

[The Emerald]

I'm ace, I've known I am ace. But for some reason I'm okay with hooking up with strangers while I'm drunk. It started because my friend's didn't know so I put on a show. Now I feel myself being intoxicated and telling people I would get with them. Never anyone I actually like or know, but real strangers. I mean. Honestly, I don't ever end up do it so maybe drunk me is saying it to say it? It just confuses me and when I wake up the next day I'm a little disappointed in myself.

Does this happen to anyone else?

I can't help. Drunk me is even more of a "AWW HEEEELLLL NO!" type of person when it comes to sex. But I do have a dirty mind, and it got dirty when I got my first job... not sure why since I worked at a thrift store!

[Guest Scarlet Spider]

I actually get just as horny, even being drunk lol. Never had sex while drunk personally but those kinds of hook-ups usually pertain to a one-night stand.

[Lord Jade Cross]

Never found myself in a situation where other people would be looking for sex around me when drinking (I question the overall effects of alcohol as it has never made me more relaxed despite having tried it) so I couldnt say for sure.

But if it was the case that I was affected by alcohol, I think people would find me disturbing because when Im relaxed is when most my mind comes up with disturbingly graphic scenarios and were not talking sexual ones either.

[IntrovertedBuddhist]

I get really sociable when I'm drunk, I become everybody's friend lol. That has led to a few misunderstandings, even a couple very ill advised make-out sessions. But as far as sex, nope, I have as much interest in having sex while drunk as I do sober, zero.

[nanogretchen4]

I don't drink much and I don't like getting drunk. I've never had sex after more than two drinks so I haven't actually made any alcohol influenced decisions about sex. Alcohol does cause increased blood flow in the crotch, but it doesn't feel as good as arousal that occurs naturally. It certainly doesn't make me want sex with people I'm not already attracted to.

[Siimo van der fietspad]

If I am out at the pub, I'm either panicking about being not in full control of my faculties, or else lethargic. If, in some highly unlikely scenario, I have what I believe is termed 'pulled' ie I am actually talking in an engaged way to a female I didn't previously know, there is still a pretty high probability that I won't have any thought of sex, just that she's good to talk to. (You can imagine the confusion this has caused in the past). If, and only if, I have some romantic feeling then a couple of drinks will probably cause me to feel increased warmth towards her, want to kiss and touch, then momentarily consider the notion of sex before remembering how much I don't like it and am much more interested in her musical tastes and the colour of her eyes.

[KendraPM]

I like making out when I'm drunk. Well, I like it when I'm sober too, but drunk me really likes it and will happily make out with anyone where as sober me just likes imagining making out with anyone, lol. However drunk me gets rather numb...down there. Not sure if that'd make sexual experiences better or worse.

[tase]

I'm too shy to start up a conversation with a female when sober, being drunk does not solve that issue. I don't think I have ever initiated a conversation even when wasted. And since no woman has ever hit on me drunk or sober, I'd have to conclude that being drunk makes no difference in my sexual behavior.

[Éadweard]

I think drunk sex is a horrible idea. You open yourself to much more risky behavior because you're not thinking clearly. While you might think it's feeling good at the moment let me know how you would feel about an STD or unplanned pregnancy after.

[champagnerain]

The first few times I had (consensual) sex, I was drunk. That was the only way I could work up the nerve to do it. This was before I understood what asexuality actually was, and I thought I should be having sex/something was wrong with me because I wasn't interested in doing it.

[Snao Cone]

Before I considered myself asexual, I would almost exclusively have sex drunk (and even then, very very rarely) because it was about combining naughty (but socially acceptable) behaviour. I would usually do it when traveling anyway, because I know I wouldn't have to see that person again.

I think about sex when I'm sober and when I'm drunk, I just never fool myself into thinking about having sex when I'm sober as I am no way inclined to seek it. And, like the OP, I say a lot of stupid things when I'm drunk that I don't actually mean and sometimes that makes people think I'm up for sex when I'm just being an idiot for giggles.

[JaySexual]

I've never done anything sexual with anyone.

Its been so long since I was last drunk (like more than a decade)

I don't ever remember the thought of sex even crossing my mind...but the few times I was ever drunk were at home.

[El-not-so-ace]

The few occasions where I drank alcohol, only once was I in a good mood since I'm usually depressed afterwards (I obviously hate alcohol even more because of this, since there's no positive aspect for me. I don't even like the taste)... So no, I actually get more repulsed and am not interested in that at all when I've got alcohol in me.

[yoonede]

This was me when I was younger. I just recently realized I am asexual (im in my late 30s), and part of my confusion about my sexuality was that I used to get drunk and enjoy hooking up with people. But when I really examine this, I think that what happened was alcohol would just bring out my libido. I still wasn't attracted to anyone, I was just horny, and being drunk allowed me to depersonalize the situation enough to make sex less gross enough to almost be fun. I wasn't experiencing attraction; I was just using a stranger like a sex toy. If that makes sense.

I always preferred sex with strangers I didnt know and wouldn't ever see again. But really, if I'd known asexuality was a thing, I probably would have been free to just go home and masterbate lol.

Part of the appeal of drunk sex was that moment of "hey! I can do this! I better take advantage of being normal while I got it. Maybe it will stick this time!" I sort of looked as alcohol as a therapeutic drug that I SHOULD use to cure myself (yes I'm serious. I literally didn't know asexuality was a possibility until like 2 years ago.ive been passing miserably as sexual active straight for decades).

[yoonede]

The first few times I had (consensual) sex, I was drunk. That was the only way I could work up the nerve to do it. This was before I understood what asexuality actually was, and I thought I should be having sex/something was wrong with me because I wasn't interested in doing it.

Same here. Alcohol helped me do something I thought I had to do.

[champagnerain]

This was me when I was younger. I just recently realized I am asexual (im in my late 30s), and part of my confusion about my sexuality was that I used to get drunk and enjoy hooking up with people. But when I really examine this, I think that what happened was alcohol would just bring out my libido. I still wasn't attracted to anyone, I was just horny, and being drunk allowed me to depersonalize the situation enough to make sex less gross enough to almost be fun. I wasn't experiencing attraction; I was just using a stranger like a sex toy. If that makes sense.

I always preferred sex with strangers I didnt know and wouldn't ever see again. But really, if I'd known asexuality was a thing, I probably would have been free to just go home and masterbate lol.

Part of the appeal of drunk sex was that moment of "hey! I can do this! I better take advantage of being normal while I got it. Maybe it will stick this time!" I sort of looked as alcohol as a therapeutic drug that I SHOULD use to cure myself (yes I'm serious. I literally didn't know asexuality was a possibility until like 2 years ago.ive been passing miserably as sexual active straight for decades).

The first several times I had sex with someone, I felt so disturbed/weirded out by it that I never wanted to see/talk to them again. The problem was that I usually didn't have sex with strangers...

I wish asexuality had been presented as a mainstream option along with homo/hetero/bisexuality, so I wouldn't have felt obligated/pressured to do this thing I'd never been interested in in the first place.

[email]

I believe I've only ever talked about sex once or twice while drunk with another (drunk) Ace. But talking and thinking don't go together while drinking!

Other than that, when I'm drunk I don't think about sex (I don't think about it sober anyway) but I did once call a few people "sexual weirdos" apparently while drinking... they were no amused... I can't remember it but I was told the next day. I'd say that was a bit mean of me... so I know not to do that again

[Guest]

Because alcohol is supposed lower inhibitions, I've tried drinking before to see if I really am aro/ace, or if I'm just "logic-ing" those ideas away. While I have yet to get fully drunk (I eat too much for that to happen lol), even tipsy me is unphased by "attractive people" (actually, just unphased in general, although that's a different discussion).

[Nea Rose Symphony]

When I'm drunk I don't even think about sex still. But I do have a tendency to come out

[yoonede]

This was me when I was younger. I just recently realized I am asexual (im in my late 30s), and part of my confusion about my sexuality was that I used to get drunk and enjoy hooking up with people. But when I really examine this, I think that what happened was alcohol would just bring out my libido. I still wasn't attracted to anyone, I was just horny, and being drunk allowed me to depersonalize the situation enough to make sex less gross enough to almost be fun. I wasn't experiencing attraction; I was just using a stranger like a sex toy. If that makes sense.

I always preferred sex with strangers I didnt know and wouldn't ever see again. But really, if I'd known asexuality was a thing, I probably would have been free to just go home and masterbate lol.

Part of the appeal of drunk sex was that moment of "hey! I can do this! I better take advantage of being normal while I got it. Maybe it will stick this time!" I sort of looked as alcohol as a therapeutic drug that I SHOULD use to cure myself (yes I'm serious. I literally didn't know asexuality was a possibility until like 2 years ago.ive been passing miserably as sexual active straight for decades).

The first several times I had sex with someone, I felt so disturbed/weirded out by it that I never wanted to see/talk to them again. The problem was that I usually didn't have sex with strangers...

I wish asexuality had been presented as a mainstream option along with homo/hetero/bisexuality, so I wouldn't have felt obligated/pressured to do this thing I'd never been interested in in the first place.

Yeah any time I had sex with someone I never ever wanted to see them again. I felt just so gross and ashamed and NOT ME. And now this person would expect me to incorporate NOT ME into a new type of relationship and want more sex or something.

[m4rble]

I don't know if I've been drunk but the few times of drank I just felt overwhelmed and depressed.It's not really an experience I'd like to repeat.

[cym]

i like to make out when i'm drunk, but sex grosses me out.

once i hit that bed i just want to go to sleep.

[Voyager_2]

When I'm sober I'm pretty neutral to sex. And I suppose it would feel a bit more interesting and far less awkward if I was drunk but it probably wouldn't happen anyway.

I'm however a huge fan of physical contact while intoxicated so I'd mostly feel like hugging someone forever, perhaps kiss them as well.

[henpen82]

Do you think If someone enjoys sex or experiences sexual attraction when under the influence of alcohol.....then it is more likely they are repressed sexual with confidence issues?

[SinNombre]

I tend to be much more open to the idea of sex when I'm drunk. I don't necessarily want to have sex when drunk but it's much easier and I enjoy it more when it actually happens. I also don't feel as bad afterwards. Not sure what that means (?).

[Sugar-Tea]

First time I had sex (or well, tried to) I was really drunk. I was tired of being a virgin, and when a guy I was making out with (I love makig out) suggested we'd go to my place, I thought: yay, let's do this. So took him home, tried to have sex, failed, sent him away, changed my bedsheets and cried in the shower. Don't regret it though, I see it as a valuable learning experience, but I'm defenitely not going to do that again. Not necessarily the drunk part of it, but the part where I was not actually attracted to the person or sexually aroused at all.