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At 59, I have never loved or been loved


Adam Here

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I am forty and have been single for the vast majority of my life.  About fifteen years ago I tried being in a relationship, in an attempt to be normal (I had never heard of asexuality then).  A guy I knew vaguely asked me out and I thought - wow, an opportunity to be a real person!  It only lasted a few months and I was so relieved when it ended - I felt so suffocated!  I can't honestly say I loved the person, and I am sure he didn't love me.  After that I decided to be myself and not be forced to conform. 

I have a few friends which I value very much, but I can't deal with very intense relationships.  I hate it when people think they have a right of access to my physical and mental personal space.

I love and have been loved by my family which is a great gift.  And of course, cats are the best!

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