Kimmie. Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 3 minutes ago, Phoenix the II said: HMm, true, but I don't mind telling them. Heck, if they either reject or accept.. I know what I'll have then. It's not going to change anything for me. It says more about them and being narrow-minded. Why would I want to stay with such people? So there's no difference in telling them now or later when my appearance really starts to change. I keep being impressed and inspired by you. Keep shine. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 Just now, Kimmie. said: I keep being impressed and inspired by you. Keep shine. It's really, when I came out the first time... All chains are being set loose, and then you're in this unstoppable train towards being you. It's freeing. xD Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 4 minutes ago, Kimmie. said: I keep being impressed and inspired by you. Keep shine. Also, it's all these years that I feel now were so wasted >_<, this drives me the most, to not lose more of these. Best time was years ago, 2nd best time. Is today. Link to post Share on other sites
Kimmie. Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 And myself I am trapped by my own fears. Logical or not they are still there. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 Just now, Kimmie. said: And myself I am trapped by my own fears. Logical or not they are still there. *hug* I know these. They're still lingering kinda... faintly. Link to post Share on other sites
Kimmie. Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 15 minutes ago, Phoenix the II said: *hug* I know these. They're still lingering kinda... faintly. I keep telling myself that I can survive as I am now. But I know that it is just holding myself back and my own happiness. I am 100% sure of that most of my problems are connected to my gender identity. My social life, self esteem, my lack of self-love everything. But still I keep telling myself that I don't need it for some reason. Is it a coping mechanism that my mind use to hold me back? And thanks for the hug. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 Just now, Kimmie. said: I keep telling myself that I can survive as I am now. But I know that it is just holding myself back and my own happiness. I am 100% sure of that most of my problems are connected to my gender identity. But still I keep telling myself that I don't need it for some reason. Is it a coping mechanism that my mind use to hold me back? And thanks for the hug. Can you survive? I mean, These feelings are not to just going disappear. They keep coming back, they did with me. Until I finally listened and gave them a place. My fears of being weird(?) are gone replaced by confidence and a major "fuck the world and what they're thinking", Oh there will be doubts and struggles here too. But, all I can say that people who judge like that, reject you. Says more about themselves and how pathetic they are. When you realize this. That it's you that's holding yourself back. You can achieve. Do what is most important to you. You're owe it to yourself your own happiness. No one else can give you this, but they can be helpful though. Link to post Share on other sites
Kimmie. Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 @Phoenix the II you are amazing I just want to say that. And I know that I am holding myself back. I am the problem. EDIT: This forum is the only place where I feel like I can really be myself. There is so much love and understanding. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 Just now, Kimmie. said: @Phoenix the II you are amazing I just want to say that. And I know that I am holding myself back. I am the problem. Hey now, ^^, Just an idea? Maybe go to a trans support group as questioning they'll accept you to be there too , it did have a 'wow' effect to me.. How easily my experiences connected with the others around. It's like, you'd never ever opened up to your deepest feelings so easily. And good thing about it is... they aren't weird anymore. Prrr :3 Link to post Share on other sites
Kimmie. Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 Just now, Phoenix the II said: Hey now, ^^, Just an idea? Maybe go to a trans support group as questioning they'll accept you to be there too , it did have a 'wow' effect to me.. How easily my experiences connected with the others around. It's like, you'd never ever opened up to your deepest feelings so easily. And good thing about it is... they aren't weird anymore. Prrr :3 I actually planning to talk to my speech therapist next time I see him. Because he is a transguy. I am not sure if he is allowed to answer questions though at work about something he is not working with. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 Just now, Kimmie. said: I actually planning to talk to my speech therapist next time I see him. Because he is a transguy. I am not sure if he is allowed to answer questions though at work about something he is not working with. One thing that also pushes me forward too though now, I'll regret myself if I didn't go now and keep waiting hoping that it'll go away. . And I already regret that at 32 y/o I could've transitioned at like 16... Link to post Share on other sites
in.visible Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 Man, I've been writing with this dude and he seems really sympathetic (in a pure platonic way ofc), but... Him: What got you, as a woman, into graffiti? Me: *sigh* This is going to be really tough for you, but graffiti is not only for males... He wouldn't even know if my friend didn't accidentally spill it. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 1 minute ago, Kimmie. said: I actually planning to talk to my speech therapist next time I see him. Because he is a transguy. I am not sure if he is allowed to answer questions though at work about something he is not working with. OH, and good you're going to talk with a therapist. It's nice coming out to a therapist the first time... It builds your confidence. Link to post Share on other sites
Kimmie. Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 Just now, Phoenix the II said: OH, and good you're going to talk with a therapist. It's nice coming out to a therapist the first time... It builds your confidence. Yes he is really nice. I only see him once a year though. Link to post Share on other sites
butterflydreams Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 6 hours ago, Kimmie. said: I keep telling myself that I can survive as I am now. But I know that it is just holding myself back and my own happiness. I am 100% sure of that most of my problems are connected to my gender identity. My social life, self esteem, my lack of self-love everything. But still I keep telling myself that I don't need it for some reason. Is it a coping mechanism that my mind use to hold me back? You probably could survive. I know I could've. But surviving is not thriving. And I believe everyone deserves a chance at thriving. I told myself the same things. That I didn't need it. But what I was really afraid of was a shakeup of the delicate status quo. A crack in the ever-so-carefully constructed coping fortress I had built over the years. For me, ultimately, it came down to...I didn't want to die as a man. I didn't want that to be how I left this world. It took a potentially fatal accident to show me that so clearly. I realized that even if I did keep living, I didn't want to live my life wondering what could've been. What would it be like to live as my full honest self? Was it scary? Hell yes. It still is. I regret a lot of things. I struggle tremendously with mental health issues. But despite all of that, transition is never something I regret. Never something I speak badly about. Never something that makes me upset. Transition is the best thing I've ever done in my life. If that turns out to be the right thing for you, you'll know it. You'll get your own sign. I'm sure of it. In the meantime, lean on us here. Many of us were where you are now. We know how to help *hugs* Link to post Share on other sites
Kimmie. Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 Thank you @Hadley167 you are a inspiration you really are. And that goes out to everyone here to. It is because of you all of you here that i finally realized why i have felt like i did and so. *Hugs* Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 26, 2017 Share Posted July 26, 2017 Trump. https://mobile.twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/890197095151546369 Link to post Share on other sites
AVEN #1 fan Posted July 26, 2017 Share Posted July 26, 2017 51 minutes ago, Phoenix the II said: Trump. https://mobile.twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/890197095151546369 I'm with with poc girl, Link to post Share on other sites
Was here Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 On 5/4/2017 at 0:37 PM, ChillaKilla said: Filling out an event registration: "Select gender: [ ]Male [ ]Female [ ]Transgender" ...no. Just...no. I saw choices like that on some quiz I took for fun online and I was just thinking,"Transgender? Trans what? Trans man, trans woman? why is this choice even there?? why can't it just have male and female, male, female and other,or male, female and non-binary??" then again an online quiz isn't as important as an event registration ad i'm getting too worked up over it. Link to post Share on other sites
Was here Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 On 7/23/2017 at 7:53 AM, mania said: Man, I've been writing with this dude and he seems really sympathetic (in a pure platonic way ofc), but... Him: What got you, as a woman, into graffiti? Me: *sigh* This is going to be really tough for you, but graffiti is not only for males... He wouldn't even know if my friend didn't accidentally spill it. "wowy zowy kablowy wow, someone with a vagina can do graffiti???!!! this is something I could never even imagine!!" Link to post Share on other sites
Enne Kristin Posted September 19, 2017 Share Posted September 19, 2017 some people think of transgender being an umbrella term. I struggle with this very much because I know from my own experience, trans persons (esp. binary ones) do not want non-binary persons under the trans-umbrella. I Identify mostly as neutral or inbetween, so I would like to have a neutral/other checkbox e.g. Link to post Share on other sites
MMD Posted September 20, 2017 Share Posted September 20, 2017 Insomnia sucks so while I sit hear sipping my tea any advice on coming out / transitioning in the workplace? as my work are equil opertunitys but I am a public facing member of management team. also I'm just a little scared of what my co workers will think I've worked with them for nearly 4 years and as far as I know none of them know except the fact that I support LGBT+ Link to post Share on other sites
kaysir Posted September 23, 2017 Share Posted September 23, 2017 On 9/19/2017 at 7:29 PM, MMD said: Insomnia sucks so while I sit hear sipping my tea any advice on coming out / transitioning in the workplace? as my work are equil opertunitys but I am a public facing member of management team. also I'm just a little scared of what my co workers will think I've worked with them for nearly 4 years and as far as I know none of them know except the fact that I support LGBT+ A lot of us just test the waters by bringing up LGBT topics around people more. You might ask if they know of or like a trans or otherwise LGB person. In an off hand way, you could ask if anyone has imagined living life as "the other gender." If you know anyone who has come out, you could gage opinions on them. After getting a feel for most people, you could just tell them you're a part of the LGBT community without specifying which part. All the while, you should look into your company's harassment and tolerance policies and keep record if anyone does or says anything prickly. Link to post Share on other sites
Was here Posted October 2, 2017 Share Posted October 2, 2017 tw (?) and gets tmi. these are just things I'm afraid of people saying to me, things I think to myself, or things that have actually been said to me. Spoiler "Why don't you like being a girl?" "You should care about your hair and make it all pretty" "You should wear make up." "You don't need a penis to masturbate or have sex." "Why don't you like girly clothes?" (this is me thinking to myself),"So you have a vagina and a clitoris, and you hate them. Well deal with it, every girl probably wishes she had a penis, but guess what? You can't. Even if you got surgery, it'd be fake. Tough it out." Yes I'm mean to myself. :I know being a girl is hard, but you don't have to be a boy." (me to myself) Dialog between me and my mom: "Hey, you know how <friend's name> is transgender? Is it weird that sometimes I think I am?" (looks down with a nervous smile and laugh) mom: "Come on, I know you're gullible about these things. I don't think you're transgender. If you think you are, we need to do something about." ("we need to do something about it" said as if it's some kind of disease) --------------- (moving on from that conversation that still makes me angry) "Are you still thinking you're transgender because your friend is?" (what I'm afraid of my mom saying if I ever talk about it again) "Tell your kid 'you're not a boy, you're a girl'" (an article I saw online) "But we get more pleasure than men" (a friend online said this) "ok my little helicopter" (another online friend, I told them this was insulting to me) "If you have boobs and a vagina, you're a girl" (said a friend online when I told her about these isues) "I think everyone gets confused about their sexuality sometimes" (transgender isn't a sexuality) I can't take these doubts anymore and these comments from people whether it's directed at me or not. I want to be a guy, but I'm not allowed to. Girls are supposed to like being girls. I don't. at least physically. Link to post Share on other sites
Luftschlosseule Posted October 2, 2017 Share Posted October 2, 2017 I've seen my psychiatrist last week and told him that I am currently not motivated for another try at therapy as the last ones failed so spectacularly. He seemed to understand. What I didn't tell him is that I am afraid: I had a horrible experience with a women telling me that there is no such thing as asexuality, but now I know that I am not only ace but also agender. It feels like it's impossible to find a person that's able to help me, because besides being LGBTQ+ savvy I need a person specialised in BPD and PTSD. Link to post Share on other sites
F1shCake Posted October 2, 2017 Share Posted October 2, 2017 Me: *is feeling really dysphoric about everything* Life: Hey you know that place you wanted to buy binders from is experiencing a fabric shortage so you can't order a binder Body: Here's shark week Me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Link to post Share on other sites
Was here Posted October 2, 2017 Share Posted October 2, 2017 I understand now why some are uncomfortable checking male or female. idfk who i am anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Lirpaderp Posted October 4, 2017 Share Posted October 4, 2017 On 10/2/2017 at 3:16 PM, Danny99 said: I understand now why some are uncomfortable checking male or female. idfk who i am anymore. I had to fill out something and I spent half an hour staring at the male/female question. And this was before I realized anything's different about my gender. That's how I feel everyday walking into the woman's restroom too. I don't belong there, I feel like I'm intruding. But I know with my boobs and face, I'd get weirder looks for using the men's room. Also, I don't know any legal restrictions or if I'm even allowed to be in there. I like being called he and wearing boy clothes, but I still don't know what I am. I don't feel man enough to be a man. But I sure as hell aren't a woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Was here Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 When you can't even explain dysphoria and fear that other people will dismiss is because it's actually normal for girls to not like being girls/having specific female parts... Link to post Share on other sites
Was here Posted October 16, 2017 Share Posted October 16, 2017 getting upset everytime you see something trans/NBphobic because questioning your gender has made you more sensitive. Link to post Share on other sites
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