#Trans + non-binary problems

[Nylocke]

"You'll never be a real[gender], cuz science/chromosomes/you weren't born that way"

Another way to tell "You have to do this or can't do that because vagina/penis"... As if genitals came with terms and conditions.

Yeaaa, those kinda people unfortunately they exist. But as I specified I have plenty like such in my family ._.

[Guest]

Another way to tell "You have to do this or can't do that because vagina/penis"... As if genitals came with terms and conditions.

Yeah. Well i as a FAB work for a truck builder and i do the same things as the ones with a penis :D My first assigment was to pack heavy truck parts like bumpers,pipes,engine tanks and all that stuff.

Oh, crap.There goes the penis/vagina theory :P

[dissolved]

"You'll never be a real[gender], cuz science/chromosomes/you weren't born that way"

I'm surprised how often that happens on here, actually.

[Anthracite_Impreza]

"You'll never be a real[gender], cuz science/chromosomes/you weren't born that way"

I'm surprised how often that happens on here, actually.

It was because of comments on here I posted it sadly.

[yellew]

"She's still a male" - a cis boy in my sociology class, when talking about Caitlin Jenner

The irony when he used female pronouns though...

This reminds me of when my Civics teacher said "he/she" when referring to Caitlyn Jenner and my friend and I had to correct him.

[Evren]

In the words of John Oliver, you call them what they want to be called...

[ChillaKilla]

"You'll never be a real[gender], cuz science/chromosomes/you weren't born that way"

I'm surprised how often that happens on here, actually.

It was because of comments on here I posted it sadly.

*cough* a certain cis, ace politician that frequents these forums *cough*

[dissolved]

"You'll never be a real[gender], cuz science/chromosomes/you weren't born that way"

I'm surprised how often that happens on here, actually.

It was because of comments on here I posted it sadly.

I blocked some folk and then abandoned thread :D I wouldn't go back to read what happened after I left if someone paid me

-------

Annoying things cis people say:

"you're not trans, you just don't love your body. Once you learn to do that, you'll be fine."

"have you tried meditation?"

"have you tried praying?"

"I know someone who got fixed by going to therapy. He wasn't trans at all, just confused."

<_<

[yellew]

"have you tried praying?"

"I know someone who got fixed by going to therapy. He wasn't trans at all, just confused."

<_<

Well then...this pisses me off.

True story: my dad thought it would be a good idea to send me to conversion therapy.

Conversion therapy is basically abuse.

[dissolved]

"have you tried praying?"

"I know someone who got fixed by going to therapy. He wasn't trans at all, just confused."

<_<

Well then...this pisses me off.

True story: my dad thought it would be a good idea to send me to conversion therapy.

Conversion therapy is basically abuse.

Yeah, I know someone who got "fixed" by conversion therapy. Didn't last long, and they transitioned anyway.

Sucks, man.

[Evren]

"have you tried praying?"

"I know someone who got fixed by going to therapy. He wasn't trans at all, just confused."

<_<

Well then...this pisses me off.

True story: my dad thought it would be a good idea to send me to conversion therapy.

Conversion therapy is basically abuse.

uergg, conversion is not ever a good thing. I'm sorry you had someone who tried to send you there.

[Emery.]

"have you tried praying?"

"I know someone who got fixed by going to therapy. He wasn't trans at all, just confused."

<_<

Well then...this pisses me off.

True story: my dad thought it would be a good idea to send me to conversion therapy.

Conversion therapy is basically abuse.

I'm sorry to hear it :/

[Anthracite_Impreza]

I think Dan Savage once wrote an article about how cis privilege doesn't exist because cis people are sad sometimes

Oh wow that actually made me laugh out loud <_<

[nerdperson777]

"Sooner or later, you'll have to have sex with someone, then what will you do?" ( Really? After a quarter century of happy abstinence? Not happening.)

"No cishet would have you, looking the way you look." ( Remember that quarter century thingie? If the walls had eyes before then......)

I remember a pic of a Tumblr post I saw the other day about aces. "No one will want to f* you if you keep up this asexual thing." Reply: That's kind of the point.

"Have you tried just being gay?"

Cue the long conversation about the differences between gender identity and sexuality...

"So you're gay then?"

Sigh.

Just like when I came out to my parents.

Me: "If I'm a guy and I like girls, I'm straight."

Dad: "But you're a girl."

Mom: "I rather you be lesbian."

"You'll never be a real[gender], cuz science/chromosomes/you weren't born that way"

Another way to tell "You have to do this or can't do that because vagina/penis"... As if genitals came with terms and conditions.

My dad said that he wouldn't see me as a boy until I did a full transition and got a penis. I told some people that I should buy a packer and throw it at him. "Here's my penis!"

"have you tried praying?"

The only thing I pray for is to have a body that aligns with my gender.

[Tripp]

"have you tried praying?"

"I know someone who got fixed by going to therapy. He wasn't trans at all, just confused."

<_<

Well then...this pisses me off.

True story: my dad thought it would be a good idea to send me to conversion therapy.

Conversion therapy is basically abuse.

Yeah, I know someone who got "fixed" by conversion therapy. Didn't last long, and they transitioned anyway.

Sucks, man.

Sounds like trying to give a Schizoid emotions, that's awful and sounds like torture.

[girltwink666]

"gender is whats in your brain while sex is whats in your pants"

While not inaccurate, when cis people reduce the trans experience to this i cnat help but feel they want to keep characterizing us by our assigned gender at birth by making such a big deal about it.

[Dodecahedron314]

"Have you tried just being gay?"

Cue the long conversation about the differences between gender identity and sexuality...

"So you're gay then?"

Sigh.

Just like when I came out to my parents.

Me: "If I'm a guy and I like girls, I'm straight."

Dad: "But you're a girl."

Mom: "I rather you be lesbian."

Why does this happen so often? My QPP had almost the exact same conversation with his mom and grandparents. I don't get it--with the kind of broken fallacies that are usually employed by people who refuse to accept MOGAI identities, one would think that such people would actually be more accepting of someone being straight and binary trans rather than non-straight and cis, because at least if being binary trans would make you straight, then you're straight and that's "the natural order of things" or whatever similar BS du jour is currently fashionable to use to invalidate people's identities. (Of course, if you're neither straight nor cis, there's no way to win this one, except possibly by making people's heads explode because they just can't handle the concept of someone being so far outside of what they consider the realm of possibility for a human being. Not that I, er, aspire to reaching that level of befuddling bigots or anything like that. Nope, definitely not. I don't know what you're talking about. )

[dissolved]

I had a conversation with my mother and sister recently about someone I went to school with who's now transitioned to male (this was not long after I broached the subject of my own transition).

I'd been emailing my friend and he was going on about this guy he'd met, and it made me laugh out loud. My mother and sister asked me why I was laughing, so I said, "he's about as gay as you can get, and his enthusiasm makes me laugh".

*little bit of confused silence*

Mother: so he likes girls?

Me: no, HE is GAY.

Sister: he could like girls and still be gay.

Mother: yeah, like those lesbians who like really butch women, so they're actually straight and in denial.

I walked away and left them to their "logic".

[Nylocke]

I had a conversation with my mother and sister recently about someone I went to school with who's now transitioned to male (this was not long after I broached the subject of my own transition).

I'd been emailing my friend and he was going on about this guy he'd met, and it made me laugh out loud. My mother and sister asked me why I was laughing, so I said, "he's about as gay as you can get, and his enthusiasm makes me laugh".

*little bit of confused silence*

Mother: so he likes girls?

Me: no, HE is GAY.

Sister: he could like girls and still be gay.

Mother: yeah, like those lesbians who like really butch women, so they're actually straight and in denial.

I walked away and left them to their "logic".

One time my mom said that too and she said "there's always one that plays the man and the one that plays the woman. Even though they are against traditional relationship they still like to play pretend and then adopt children and make their children like that". I was like o__________o mind blown ...

[Evren]

Your not actually trans, you just think you are.

What?

[yellew]

"Have you tried just being gay?"

Cue the long conversation about the differences between gender identity and sexuality...

"So you're gay then?"

Sigh.

Just like when I came out to my parents.

Me: "If I'm a guy and I like girls, I'm straight."

Dad: "But you're a girl."

Mom: "I rather you be lesbian."

Same. Everyone is saying that I should just be a tomboy or a lesbian and saying it's basically the same thing.

No. No, it's actually not.

[Feliz]

I came out to a cisgender woman I'm good friends with as non-binary and confused, and she's an active supporter of transgender rights, so that's why I trusted talking to her. She's just such a sweetheart and would never hurt a fly. Unfortunately, my cis-gay cousin who is indifferent on the subject and his much-older husband were in the front seat, because we were heading out to a bar, and the husband overheard us and said nothing until we were at the bar. Then, there was an advertisement for a new drink that was unusually pink and fruity-looking with an umbrella thingy and the word princess in the name (I forget the full name of the drink). While he and I were away from the others in line to order drinks, he asked with a smirk, "Aren't you going to get that new drink now that you're officially genderfluid?" He chuckled as if he were just so damn slick. And yes, he actually emphasized the word genderfluid with that wobbly-head expression and arched eyebrows, which was also quite telling from his tone alone. First of all, I'd never even said I was genderfluid. I'd simply confided in my female friend that I was going through a mental dilemma and crisis, and it just happened to be at that moment that I told her because she wondered why I was a bit moody on the way to the bar. I'd never even mentioned the word, but somehow, he knew enough about it to utter it and assume I was that. I guess because I'd said I wasn't transgender. Who knows? You see, he, like many cis-gay men I've met here in the Midwest, is chauvinistic and will absolutely insist that a film, show, or story with a heroine will never be as good as those with male heroes. His respect for women is significantly lower than his respect for men. He believes men should have short hair and only act slightly feminine if they're bottoms, but remember, slightly, not too feminine. This view is more common than I imagined, and I don't think it has anything to do with his being around age fifty. Though, he grew up strongly Catholic before becoming agnostic. Of course, this doesn't mean that most cis-gay men are like this. I mean, I'm a gay man, so I wouldn't paint such a large brush like that, but I'm just referring to the many I've met here in the Midwest.

The point to this story? Never had I imagined that the term genderfluid could be used derogatorily by cisgender people. Color me shocked.

[Mezzo Forte]

Probably can't fault my aunt too much for this, but when she greeted me over the phone, she referred to me as "baby girl" and it made my skin crawl so bad. She's from a pretty conservative/backwater part of the country though, and I have reason to think that she would call me that even if I came out =\

[Doodler98]

Recently, in my biology class, the teacher spoke about the problems parents face when their child is intersex.

the law( in many countries, including mine) assigns them One of two binary genders at birth, so the Large magority of parents want to decide the child's gender when they're still just a baby. If the parents don't do that, the kid will have to decide on their own when they're old enough.

As the teacher explained it to everyone in class, all students (exept for me, i was just sitting there pondering) nodded their heads approvingly, agreeing that that was the best option the child would have.

problem with this being that they Can only choose to be either male or female, as you would expect. This system literally doesn't allow anyone not identifying with 'male' or 'female' to legally exist, forcing kids who don't identify with these Two genders into one of two boxes that do not fit them.

[glitterandsparkles]

"its just a phase"

"you havent met the right person yet"

"youre too pretty for that"

"did somebody hurt you"

"have you ever done it?"

"youre just not ready yet"

"will you have kids"

honestly the list goes on forever

[Rubeus]

"I was like that when I was your age. It'll pass, don't worry!" - dad

"Why can't you be satisfied with being a feminine boy?" - mom

"Can't you just widen you view of being a boy?" - mom, dad and sister

[Nylocke]

Recently, in my biology class, the teacher spoke about the problems parents face when their child is intersex.

the law( in many countries, including mine) assigns them One of two binary genders at birth, so the Large magority of parents want to decide the child's gender when they're still just a baby. If the parents don't do that, the kid will have to decide on their own when they're old enough.

As the teacher explained it to everyone in class, all students (exept for me, i was just sitting there pondering) nodded their heads approvingly, agreeing that that was the best option the child would have.

problem with this being that they Can only choose to be either male or female, as you would expect. This system literally doesn't allow anyone not identifying with 'male' or 'female' to legally exist, forcing kids who don't identify with these Two genders into one of two boxes that do not fit them.

Just an FYI, parents force binary gender and being cis onto ALL kids. And a lot of intersex people don't identify as nonbinary. (I'm saying this as a nonbinary intersex person).

The only case I saw where an intersex person didn't have gender forced upon them was this one person who was featured on the tyra banks show. They got to choose who they wanted to be.

[ChillaKilla]

Recently, in my biology class, the teacher spoke about the problems parents face when their child is intersex.

the law( in many countries, including mine) assigns them One of two binary genders at birth, so the Large magority of parents want to decide the child's gender when they're still just a baby. If the parents don't do that, the kid will have to decide on their own when they're old enough.

As the teacher explained it to everyone in class, all students (exept for me, i was just sitting there pondering) nodded their heads approvingly, agreeing that that was the best option the child would have.

problem with this being that they Can only choose to be either male or female, as you would expect. This system literally doesn't allow anyone not identifying with 'male' or 'female' to legally exist, forcing kids who don't identify with these Two genders into one of two boxes that do not fit them.

Just an FYI, parents force binary gender and being cis onto ALL kids. And a lot of intersex people don't identify as nonbinary. (I'm saying this as a nonbinary intersex person).

The only case I saw where an intersex person didn't have gender forced upon them was this one person who was featured on the tyra banks show. They got to choose who they wanted to be.

Have you heard of Annukai Ray? They're an intersex activist and are pretty cool

[Nylocke]

Recently, in my biology class, the teacher spoke about the problems parents face when their child is intersex.

the law( in many countries, including mine) assigns them One of two binary genders at birth, so the Large magority of parents want to decide the child's gender when they're still just a baby. If the parents don't do that, the kid will have to decide on their own when they're old enough.

As the teacher explained it to everyone in class, all students (exept for me, i was just sitting there pondering) nodded their heads approvingly, agreeing that that was the best option the child would have.

problem with this being that they Can only choose to be either male or female, as you would expect. This system literally doesn't allow anyone not identifying with 'male' or 'female' to legally exist, forcing kids who don't identify with these Two genders into one of two boxes that do not fit them.

Just an FYI, parents force binary gender and being cis onto ALL kids. And a lot of intersex people don't identify as nonbinary. (I'm saying this as a nonbinary intersex person).

The only case I saw where an intersex person didn't have gender forced upon them was this one person who was featured on the tyra banks show. They got to choose who they wanted to be.

Have you heard of Annukai Ray? They're an intersex activist and are pretty cool

I don't know them, sorry xD If they were on the Tyra show years ago then maybe its the person I'm talking about :O

Recently, in my biology class, the teacher spoke about the problems parents face when their child is intersex.

the law( in many countries, including mine) assigns them One of two binary genders at birth, so the Large magority of parents want to decide the child's gender when they're still just a baby. If the parents don't do that, the kid will have to decide on their own when they're old enough.

As the teacher explained it to everyone in class, all students (exept for me, i was just sitting there pondering) nodded their heads approvingly, agreeing that that was the best option the child would have.

problem with this being that they Can only choose to be either male or female, as you would expect. This system literally doesn't allow anyone not identifying with 'male' or 'female' to legally exist, forcing kids who don't identify with these Two genders into one of two boxes that do not fit them.

Just an FYI, parents force binary gender and being cis onto ALL kids. And a lot of intersex people don't identify as nonbinary. (I'm saying this as a nonbinary intersex person).

The only case I saw where an intersex person didn't have gender forced upon them was this one person who was featured on the tyra banks show. They got to choose who they wanted to be.

Yeah...again, I'm intersex and intersex kids are included in all kids. Even dyadic cis kids have gender forced on them, as well as heterosexuality.

brutal x-x I guess we all can't escape it ><

Well pro tip for all who've ever been told "act like a boy/man" "act like a girl/woman". If you have to "act" then there is CLEARLY something very wrong.

[R_1]

Well pro tip for all who've ever been told "act like a boy/man" "act like a girl/woman". If you have to "act" then there is CLEARLY something very wrong.

Sure, the fact some people likes reinforcing gender roles. I been told that before.