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#Trans + non-binary problems


Neko-tama

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"are u a boy or a girl" buddy pal the answer is No

The many arguments I nearly get into with people on the japanese internet over this one

My parents often say "your a female act like one". Surely if I have to "act" then its not in me.

Are you not comfortable answering that in relativity to your sex?

Um, talking about what you have in your underwear? No, thank you, I'll stand. It should be nobody's business.

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ChillaKilla

Asriel, do you honestly think sex and gender are the same? Upon looking at your gender, all you have is "I have a penis", so I'm going to assume you think they're one in the same

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I can't hit, tease make fun of, piss you off, because your a girl.

I know that you have no idea that I'm trans, but do you really have to do this when I am presenting completely masculine and feeling okay with my body for the first time all day?

Also please punch me in face because it would feel better than the pit of dysphoria you've just shoved me farther into.

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Asriel, do you honestly think sex and gender are the same? Upon looking at your gender, all you have is "I have a penis", so I'm going to assume you think they're one in the same

They ain't the same as a concept, but the only reason I identify as a male is because I have a penis. That's all. I have absolutely 0 feelings pertaining to gender as if it doesn't even exist (talking to myself).

I can't contribute to this thread, so uh... Never mind me.

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I can't hit, tease make fun of, piss you off, because your a girl.

I'm cis-female and that arguement still annoys me; I want to be treated like a person, not a stereotype of my gender. I appreciate not being hit or teased, but not if the only thing that stoping you is the fact that I'm a girl.

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Anthracite_Impreza

I can't hit, tease make fun of, piss you off, because your a girl.

I'm cis-female and that arguement still annoys me; I want to be treated like a person, not a stereotype of my gender. I appreciate not being hit or teased, but not if the only thing that stoping you is the fact that I'm a girl.

When I was in the garage they said the only reason I had been treated so nicely (read: like any decent person would) was because I was a "girl". Apparently my tutor had a history of treating his other apprentices like crap (he pushed one in a river that ran beside the garage for being cheeky and was known for throwing hammers at them, no joke). Hmm, how 'bout you just treat everyone decently, not depending on what gender you perceive them to be?!

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"Have you tried just being gay?"

Cue the long conversation about the differences between gender identity and sexuality...

"So you're gay then?"

Sigh.

Don't you know? Gay trans men and women are just nonexistent unicorns! *Whinnies majestically*

*Whinnies back*

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I can't hit, tease make fun of, piss you off, because your a girl.

I know that you have no idea that I'm trans, but do you really have to do this when I am presenting completely masculine and feeling okay with my body for the first time all day?

Also please punch me in face because it would feel better than the pit of dysphoria you've just shoved me farther into.

I feel ya man. Sometimes in the break room when it's all guys, someone will start to say something then look at me and go "I won't say it, since there's a girl here." I have no history of ever getting annoyed with a co-worker for what they've said or been offended by them, so it really is just because I'm a 'girl'. Seriously, I'm not going to get all frail and weak and faint on them if they use filthy language, I'm just as bad. After he said that I just looked at him and said 'Do you think I give a fuck?'

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Dodecahedron314

I can't hit, tease make fun of, piss you off, because your a girl.

I know that you have no idea that I'm trans, but do you really have to do this when I am presenting completely masculine and feeling okay with my body for the first time all day?

Also please punch me in face because it would feel better than the pit of dysphoria you've just shoved me farther into.

I feel ya man. Sometimes in the break room when it's all guys, someone will start to say something then look at me and go "I won't say it, since there's a girl here." I have no history of ever getting annoyed with a co-worker for what they've said or been offended by them, so it really is just because I'm a 'girl'. Seriously, I'm not going to get all frail and weak and faint on them if they use filthy language, I'm just as bad. After he said that I just looked at him and said 'Do you think I give a fuck?'
This happens to me because I'm openly ace and younger than most people I know, as well. Between that, my general tendency to not swear (not that I have anything against it, it's just something I personally don't do, for no real reason), and the fact that despite my best efforts, people still probably just perceive me as a female who uses weird pronouns and occasionally doesn't have a chest, people conspicuously censor themselves around me all the time and it's one of the most infuriatingly condescending and patronizing things I've ever experienced in my life. It's gotten a little better now that I'm in college (although spending the first part of my first year being under 18 did me no favors), but it still happens at home every so often and it drives me completely insane.
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Are you not comfortable answering that in relativity to your sex?

no because im literally agender...

"are u a boy or a girl" buddy pal the answer is No

The many arguments I nearly get into with people on the japanese internet over this one

My parents often say "your a female act like one". Surely if I have to "act" then its not in me.

Are you not comfortable answering that in relativity to your sex?

Um, talking about what you have in your underwear? No, thank you, I'll stand. It should be nobody's business.

Well if you don't want to answer it then you could just say that. I would prefer people assume both sides are acting in good faith. I'm just saying I would be open to saying which I am but if you're not then I would hope someone respects that and stops asking.

Asriel, do you honestly think sex and gender are the same? Upon looking at your gender, all you have is "I have a penis", so I'm going to assume you think they're one in the same

They ain't the same as a concept, but the only reason I identify as a male is because I have a penis. That's all. I have absolutely 0 feelings pertaining to gender as if it doesn't even exist (talking to myself).

I can't contribute to this thread, so uh... Never mind me.

This. I don't feel the need to maintain any sort of stereotype. If I want to wear a skirt to school one day, then I will. If I want to dress in a T-shirt and short pants I will. I don't have an identity to carry around, and would prefer not to, the only thing I'll aspire to is my personality type (which is why that's above avatar). I even wear clothes that don't indicate whether I'm male or not.

I put I have a penis (relating to the above comment) because if someone wants to know what sex I am, then they can find out. Why would I lock myself down to a gender?

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This. I don't feel the need to maintain any sort of stereotype. If I want to wear a skirt to school one day, then I will. If I want to dress in a T-shirt and short pants I will. I don't have an identity to carry around, and would prefer not to, the only thing I'll aspire to is my personality type (which is why that's above avatar). I even wear clothes that don't indicate whether I'm male or not.

So do I :P And I'm an INTP too :D

Sorry if I'm being blunt or come off as having bad intentions towards you. It happens ALL the time... I don't intentionally wish to piss you off ;) Maybe just a little bit, in a friendly way. I don't tend to think that people act in bad faith, just that they don't care or don't understand :P Still, I do not see the importance of genitals.

I can't hit, tease make fun of, piss you off, because your a girl.

Huh, if they don't piss me off, I piss them off :P And they start pissing me off anyway.

As you can probably see so far, I'm quite this personality that gets into piss-off contests easily and tolerates them well

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This. I don't feel the need to maintain any sort of stereotype. If I want to wear a skirt to school one day, then I will. If I want to dress in a T-shirt and short pants I will. I don't have an identity to carry around, and would prefer not to, the only thing I'll aspire to is my personality type (which is why that's above avatar). I even wear clothes that don't indicate whether I'm male or not.

So do I :P And I'm an INTP too :D

Sorry if I'm being blunt or come off as having bad intentions towards you. It happens ALL the time... I don't intentionally wish to piss you off ;) Maybe just a little bit, in a friendly way. I don't tend to think that people act in bad faith, just that they don't care or don't understand :P Still, I do not see the importance of genitals.

That's okay, I assumed you didn't have bad intentions. :P

I think on an intellectual level no it doesn't matter (especially on the internet) but I will treat 2 people a little differently depending on how they look (usually not in a positive or negative way though, more like if you wanted to know someone's age).

But you're right, it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things.

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"are u a boy or a girl" buddy pal the answer is No

The many arguments I nearly get into with people on the japanese internet over this one

My parents often say "your a female act like one". Surely if I have to "act" then its not in me.

Are you not comfortable answering that in relativity to your sex?

I'm 65% agender so no. Judging off the comment you just made obviously you don't fit in very well here ...

"are u a boy or a girl" buddy pal the answer is No

The many arguments I nearly get into with people on the japanese internet over this one

My parents often say "your a female act like one". Surely if I have to "act" then its not in me.

Are you not comfortable answering that in relativity to your sex?

Um, talking about what you have in your underwear? No, thank you, I'll stand. It should be nobody's business.

I second that comment, why do cis people care so much about what you have between your legs??? Can't tell you how many comments I've received in that realm of speaking AND from certain family members too.

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girltwink666

idk why a whole to-do has evolved around my post but i just wanted to explain that i have literally no gender and i feel dysphoric from being associated with any of them so no im not gonna go around telling people about my designated gender at birth because its none of any of yalls business

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ChillaKilla

Fumigate this thread of the cis

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I'm 65% agender so no. Judging off the comment you just made obviously you don't fit in very well here ...

I second that comment, why do cis people care so much about what you have between your legs??? Can't tell you how many comments I've received in that realm of speaking AND from certain family members too.

My question is why not answer? If you don't want to answer then you don't have to answer. It seems you assume I have bad intentions here, but I think I've already described where I'm coming from above.

I don't know if anybody else thinks about it the way I do, but if sex and gender are 2 different things, then why does it matter what you tell people?

It's okay to tell people to stop asking or not to give them an answer, but to assume they have bad intentions seems like your prejudging people. If we're going to interact, I'd prefer it to be with civility.

It seems you'd rather not answer, and if that's your position, that's fine, I'd just prefer not to be attacked for my opinion.

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I'm 65% agender so no. Judging off the comment you just made obviously you don't fit in very well here ...

I second that comment, why do cis people care so much about what you have between your legs??? Can't tell you how many comments I've received in that realm of speaking AND from certain family members too.

My question is why not answer? If you don't want to answer then you don't have to answer. It seems you assume I have bad intentions here, but I think I've already described where I'm coming from above.

I don't know if anybody else thinks about it the way I do, but if sex and gender are 2 different things, then why does it matter what you tell people?

It's okay to tell people to stop asking or not to give them an answer, but to assume they have bad intentions seems like your prejudging people. If we're going to interact, I'd prefer it to be with civility.

It seems you'd rather not answer, and if that's your position, that's fine, I'd just prefer not to be attacked for my opinion.

I've been down that road many of times and it just leads to arguments, like I said above as well I actually get annoyed that people care that much about whats between your legs and all they're doing is talking to you on a chatroom. These are people who you will probably never ever meet and they care that much. I don't even know how to react half the time.

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Anthracite_Impreza

By asking about what's between our legs you're either actually interested in our genitals (which is weird) or you're in some way trying to find out our "real" gender.

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By asking about what's between our legs you're either actually interested in our genitals (which is weird) or you're in some way trying to find out our "real" gender.

It's more I want to know how people look. Regardless, it's interesting knowing how someone's sex has determined their experience. In some areas it would matter, whereas others it doesn't. For example, in video games it doesn't matter, but when talking about school it might.

Anyway, that's about all I have to say. I'd prefer not to derail the topic too much.

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Anthracite_Impreza

Sorry, but how on earth are you supposed to know what people look like based on their genitals? :huh:

This isn't derailing, this is the exact sort of thing we're talking about.

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Well, some people are strong counter-examples to how sex determines life experience ;) The only thing I experience about my sex is that people care way too much about it and try to tell me that there is just one right manual to it and one right way of experiencing this sex.

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Well, some people are strong counter-examples to how sex determines life experience ;) The only thing I experience about my sex is that people care way too much about it and try to tell me that there is just one right manual to it and one right way of experiencing this sex.

This is my point. If I saw that both males and females had the exact same life experience then it wouldn't matter. For example, at the school I went to the boys and girls dorms were separated. That's an example of where it's relevant.

In this case though I think it matter less what I believe and more what I advocate for, which is tell people what you want. If you don't want to tell them don't tell them. I'm sure we can agree on this.

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"What kind of feminist am I if my daughter wants to be a boy?" <-- my mom said this one and it frustrated the heck outta me.

1) I don't hate women.

2) I just feel more comfortable as a boy.

3) Men can be feminists too.

4) Stop calling me your daughter.

"Why can't you just be a tomboy?"

Mom, they aren't the same thing. If I wanted to be a tomboy, I would be a tomboy. I want to be a boy.

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"What kind of feminist am I if my daughter wants to be a boy?" <-- my mom said this one and it frustrated the heck outta me.

1) I don't hate women.

2) I just feel more comfortable as a boy.

3) Men can be feminists too.

4) Stop calling me your daughter.

"Why can't you just be a tomboy?"

Mom, they aren't the same thing. If I wanted to be a tomboy, I would be a tomboy. I want to be a boy.

Ask her what kind of person she is if she wants to bar someone from expressing themselves.

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DannyFenton123

"Boys and girls..."

"Ladies and gentlemen..."

So, does this mean I don't have to listen? xD

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Forgotten Fox

"Boys and girls..."

"Ladies and gentlemen..."

So, does this mean I don't have to listen? xD

XD Ikr? That's why I prefer, "Hello Ladies and Gentlemen and all other configurations of being..." <- If you know where this is from, high five!

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Anthracite_Impreza

"You'll never be a real[gender], cuz science/chromosomes/you weren't born that way"

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Dodecahedron314

"so REALITY is transphobic?" - a cis person, when telling me how all afab people are actually females and all amab people are actually males

i%2Breject%2Byour%2Breality%2Band%2Bsubs

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Anthracite_Impreza

"so REALITY is transphobic?" - a cis person, when telling me how all afab people are actually females and all amab people are actually males

Fml.
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"You'll never be a real[gender], cuz science/chromosomes/you weren't born that way"

Another way to tell "You have to do this or can't do that because vagina/penis"... As if genitals came with terms and conditions.

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