Asexual types

[Corruptangel]

Hello there!

So I'm new to this asexuality thing. As I research it more, I am finding that there are a lot of terms that go with it. I am very interested in learning about the different terms of asexuality. I recently have found out about asexuality, and identify as it. However I don't know which category I would fall into, because I am not familiar with them. I am going to post part of my first post here. Could anyone tell me the term that fits me?

The post is as follows:

So, I am 25 years old. Never been in a relationship, never kissed anyone, never had sex. However, since I was a teenager, I've gotten crushes on men. I still like the thought of having a romantic partner. But, the thing is whenever I get close to someone where the thought of anything romantic, or even getting a tiny bit close to anything romantic, I push away. I have always pushed away. And the more I think about it, I don't want anything to do with it. I like the thought, I like the fantasy, but when it becomes reality I don't want it.

I might be giving a little TMI right now but because I'm trying to find the label I'm going to share. It's similar with the sexuality. I masturbate often, but never with a certain person in mind. Not even famous faces or really hot men. And I have never ever thought of having sex with any person that I have met in life. Even men that I have "crushes" on I never get to the point in which I want to kiss them or get even further. I just like the thought of having someone to cuddle with. Or get into a conversation with. Or spend long days playing video games. When I thought about having sex with someone that I had a crush on, it grossed me out.

[Lost247365]

You sound like you are either an aporomantic or Frayromantic asexual.

http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/119238-a-list-of-romantic-orientations/

Lithromantic/Aporomantic/Akoi(ne)romantic - Is someone who can feel a romantic attraction towards others and also enjoy romantic relationships in theory, but not needing that affection to be reciprocated or be in a relationship with the one the feelings are directed towards. Either that, or they may stop feeling the attraction once in a relationship or stop enjoying it.

Note: There is a certain level of controversy linked to the prefix "litho." It was first coined referring to Lesbian Butch culture and some lesbians object to it being appropriated to describe a sexuality/romanticism.

Frayromantic - Is someone who experiences romantic attraction towards strangers and people you are less familiar with, which fades away when you get to know them more

[Starlit Sky]

With what you've said, there are actually two possible things that could be going on here. On one hand you could be aromantic (aromantics can be total romantics at heart, but not want romance themselves and/or not be able to develop romantic feelings), but on the other hand you could have some sort of unresolved issues that are preventing you from wanting to get into a relationship.

I think you're going to know which of those fit you better than I do! Since you've found your way to AVEN, I feel like it's most likely that you are aromantic. There are quite a lot of aros here who are quite the same way as you when it comes to romance! :)

EDIT: After re-reading your post, you do talk about crushes . . . but I wonder, do you mean crushes or squishes? Is that you at first would kind of like to be in a romantic relationship and the more you get to know them that dies out? Or is it more that you have an "intense feeling to be their friend" (which would be a squish)?

If it's the former, or you think it's the former--which would probably make you frayromantic--then I would love it if you would PM me. I have doubts that the definition we're using is correct. I can be slow to respond, though, so you have been warned. XD

[Nea Rose Symphony]

Sounds like you're lithromantic asexual

Lithromantic: feeling romantic attraction but having those feelings go away once they're reciprocated. In other words once the other person likes you too or starts wanting to do romantic things with you, your own feelings die

Asexual you should know. Either feeling no sexual attraction or not wanting to do sexual things with someone else/not seeing the other person in a sexual way

[Corruptangel]

EDIT: After re-reading your post, you do talk about crushes . . . but I wonder, do you mean crushes or squishes? Is that you at first would kind of like to be in a romantic relationship and the more you get to know them that dies out? Or is it more that you have an "intense feeling to be their friend" (which would be a squish)?

If it's the former, or you think it's the former--which would probably make you frayromantic--then I would love it if you would PM me. I have doubts that the definition we're using is correct. I can be slow to respond, though, so you have been warned. XD

I do believe they are crushes. For the longest time, I had a crush on my best friend. I wanted to always sit by him, had the urge to cuddle him, and often be by him. However it got to the point where we went on one date, and it died down. It's really really strange actually. I can't pinpoint the time that it completely died down, but I no longer had that urge to be close, or the urge to cuddle. I just wanted to be his friend. Then he got a girlfriend and I was perfectly fine. Crush completely gone.

And another circumstance. I was in a long distance relationship where honestly it was a lot of sexting. I thought this man was really going to be my soulmate. This was when the relationship was purely in words. Then I met him, physically saw him and had a date, then nearly the week after, I cut it off. All attraction was gone, & I wanted nothing else to do with him. Lithromantic seems to be the right term lol I am so infatuated with the fantasy of the relationship, but when it becomes reality I don't want it.