Is sex the new religion ?

[DarkShadow]

I just noticed something...

Most young folks my age are atheists/ anti-religion, or at least secular. And it`s interesting because they criticize religion when it comes to sexual behaviours which they engage. They have sex outside of marriage, , watch porn , masturbate etc.

And keep yapping about how religion is old and inconsistent with modern times.

But when it comes to asexuality, homosexuality,and other behaviours which they find imoral or degrading, their opinions suddenly change. They , however, don`t justify their opinions based on religious motives, but rather on " that`s not natural" most of the time.

I am not prude , i am very liberal about many sexual preferences and behaviours : homosexuality, prostitution, one-night stands, BDSM ...

But the question is :

Why is it that when these people have sexual activities which they enjoy, they consider themselves open-minded, and not being brain-washed by religion and traditions, but when someone else CHOOSES NOT TO HAVE SEX , they say that person is a close-minded, loser or a weirdo ? The irony is that they are using SEX AS A RELIGION ! They think that everyone should do it, and who doesn`t is a sinner . They think that someone wouldn`t choose freely not to have sex, unless is because of religious motives or something bad like childhood traumas .

Has anyone else find it frustrating trying to explain that sexual freedom also implies the freedom not to have sex ?

Should i call them close-minded dimwits for being so hypocritical ?

NOTE : Sorry i forgot to mention. I was talking about non-sexual lifestyle in general , rather than strictly asexuals. That`s because asexuality isn`t a choice and asexuals can still have a sexually active life ( they can have sex with their partners even if they don`t feel sexually atracted to them ) :) I know some guys don`t like to put asexuals in the same category with celibate persons.

[dash]

Yes, it is frustrating when people use "sex-positive" etc. in a way that erases asexual and sex-repulsed people.

Sex is only good if it's something you want, and not all people want it. I've been fortunate to know some wonderful people who embrace everyone's sexuality, including asexual people's asexuality.

[sophy38]

When I see this kind of characters, I just tell them:

"humanity is more than having sex and childbearing"

If they want to understand, they'll get the point!

[Blue Phoenix Ace]

That's a really interesting analogy actually.

[Rising Sun]

Hypersexualization isn't as much a religion as it's rebellion against parents, who see sex outside of marriage as a sin. New generations want to overthrow an old totalitarian order, but unfortunately create another totalitarian order in the process.

[Hobbes∞]

It's exactly the same thing as those weird, usually well dressed buggers that never eat finger food at parties.

I know it's the same, because I am such one bugger.

Sex is an inherently physical pursuit, like fondant fancies or tiny sausages on sticks. The idea is it's supposed to tell your brain to do the thing where it says 'You feel good. This is a good thing. Do more of this good feeling thing'. Of course this can lead to problems when you listen too closely and eat an entire packet of fondant fancies on your own at night while drinking and never mind I'm digressing.

But when you get those people that never do those things, it's almost like there's a subtle insinuation that they are beyond human. That they do not need or want such physical pleasures as they have evolved past them; they are sustained by sheer force of character and are entertained only by the finest of arts, of the rumination of their infinitely interesting mind.

This is of course not true. I know this, because the real reason is more like not wanting to accidentally have another episode and eat 12 fondant fancies because who the hell eats one fondant fancy what kind of person has that self control are you a buddhist monk and digressing again. So I think it's the same with sex, people who like the sexuals are assuming you say you don't because of your snobbery, aloofness, or otherwise perceived detachment, when in reality it's just that you don't want sex.

At least, that it how I see it. I could be confusing cake related metaphors with real life, again.

[Platonic_Idealist]

I absolutely agree. I think our current age has a new mass religion of Sex. Sex is God. Is King. All of life is in pursuit of it. All one's weekends and evenings are devoted to it's silent worship, or it's exuberant enactment. It is one's daily bread. It becomes all one "prays" for, and all one is thankful for when the wish is granted. The biblical text is erotica. The priests are the porn stars. The sacred space, the alter one goes to worship at is the Bed and the bedroom. Foreplay and sex toys are the Eucharist. (my metaphors will be disputed, I'm sure)

The heretics in this age are the asexuals. They are the outliers in the world community that refuse to play along. They are the individuals who are incomprehensible to their "neighbors". We find other methods of healing and happiness than the "church" provides or instructs, and thus they get suspicious. In this age, no one gets hung for such non-sexual "witchcraft". But if they did, we would be on the list to go.

But when you get those people that never do those things, it's almost like there's a subtle insinuation that they are beyond human. That they do not need or want such physical pleasures as they have evolved past them; they are sustained by sheer force of character and are entertained only by the finest of arts, of the rumination of their infinitely interesting mind.

I don't know, I think there are many asexuals who do have strong character, are entertained only by the finest of arts. and do a lot of reflection and intellectual pursuits. I know I am one of them. That doesn't mean I judge sexual people for their pursuits. I don't know much about fondant fancies or sausage on sticks (not being from the U.K) but I do know about the pleasures of eating. Perhaps it's just a different direction of pleasures the body can experience. Like many asexuals, I would prefer cake/cupcakes to sex. So maybe it's just about making sexual people aware we still have bodily pleasures and urges...but they're more related to food

[Member54880]

A lot of those non-religious, super sex-positive people had repressive upbringings, and find sex-positivity liberating and helped them break free from their pasts, but may go too far in the other direction; the extremists aren't tolerant of asexuality, sex-repulsion nor celibacy.

Years ago, I knew a few people just like that, and they did try to push sex on me by shaming me for not wanting it. They thought I internalized the repressive rhetoric that they grew up with, and thought I was trying to impose it on them, like I was trying to force them to convert to celibacy or abstinence. But the irony is they didn't see themselves as imposing their views on me and trying to make me convert, or if they did, they thought they were doing it for my own good. You could say that they were pushing me into sex to "save me".

[Hobbes∞]

The heretics in this age are the asexuals. They are the outliers in the world community that refuse to play along. They are the individuals who are incomprehensible to their "neighbors". We find other methods of healing and happiness than the "church" provides or instructs, and thus they get suspicious. In this age, no one gets hung for such non-sexual "witchcraft". But if they did, we would be on the list to go.

Does this...does this mean we're a cult?! I have always wanted to be in a cult. We are a cool cult. We have friendliness and not sacrifice, 10/10 cult.

But yes, I do agree with you, they're very different physical experiences :) Eating and sex that is. I couldn't say for sure, but other people tell me they're different.

[gaillimh]

I would have never thought of labeling sex as a religion but points to you for coming up with that topic ! Can't support the theorie about strict upbringing though. In my country (or at least region) religion does not play as big a role and there hasn't been a bias against sex or even pregnancy before marriage. My grandmother had a child by an unknown man and married later while she was still young. The results are the same, people seem to almost be offended by my asexuality.