Jump to content

Saving Stephanie - Gender Hate?


Nikaloscage

Recommended Posts

Sausage%20Roll.jpg

A sausage roll may have saved her life.

Okay so a little story here and a heads up to a lovely girl.

Out shopping, and see a young girl crouched as a boy punches her in the back of the head. I shout and they run off laughing. I help the girl, and she is in tears and shaking.

I offer her a sausage roll and a drink because I cannot just walk away and leave her on her own. She agrees and we chat. Her story is that she is a trans girl, and after her family’s reaction to finding out, she fled and had been living rough for 6 days.

Her attackers were her old friends from when she presented as male. She was going to travel and become homeless, rather than face her family again. I offer her the use of my phone, as she had fled so quickly, she had left her own phone in her school bag, which she left at home. I speak to her mother, who is frantic, and then pay the bus fare until we reach her neighbourhood.

Her mother is so overjoyed, that she does not wait for the bus to properly stop, but bangs on the doors then enters and scoops up her daughter into a great big hug and tells her she loves her.

That was the last time I saw her, and I hope that she is doing well.

Basically, she knew her gender was not the same as that assigned at birth, and unfortunately, when she started to present, she lost friends and ended up in a dire situation. I didn't post this to massage my ego, but more to discuss how I feel about someone who is really nice and kind being attacked simply because of gender presentation and identity.

It's appalling.

Has anyone else had to endure the same bull?

Link to post
Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza

How anyone can treat someone else like that for such a harmless thing is beyond me, and for them to have previously been friends and turned on her just makes it all the more sickening. Luckily I haven't been attacked for my gender but I've been physically attacked a lot, so I know how scary it is; your show of kindness (which should really be the default setting but alas, the world sucks) really could've made such a life-changing difference :cake:

Link to post
Share on other sites

How anyone can treat someone else like that for such a harmless thing is beyond me, and for them to have previously been friends and turned on her just makes it all the more sickening. Luckily I haven't been attacked for my gender but I've been physically attacked a lot, so I know how scary it is; your show of kindness (which should really be the default setting but alas, the world sucks) really could've made such a life-changing difference :cake:

Thanks. There's a lot more to it, but as she may come on here, I'd rather she was the one who told her full story if she wants to share. But yep. They had been friends for a long time and then basically, no more friends and loneliness.

I just think that's pitiful and not a good way to treat a human being (And that's not even starting on the violence)

I'm really sorry that you've been attacked Anthracite. Honestly, what is to be gained by inflicting pain upon another person? We all have our own lives, interests, feelings and loves and no-one, not you nor Stephanie, should endure the fear and pain of being hurt by some a-hole.

Hugs to you ^-^

Link to post
Share on other sites

Did she give her permission to use her name? Or is this a pseudonym? I just want to check.

But thank you. People like you make the world a better place. I've been at rock bottom in a public space before too, and though I was not physically attacked, I still feel that the man who helped me changed my life in that moment for the better. You were a great person, thank you :cake:

Link to post
Share on other sites

Awweeeee thanks Heart. No I just made the name up on the spot, because it's her life. you were right to check ^-^

The only reason I shared, apart from what I said, is I mentioned Aven, and she thinks she's grey ace, but doesn't know if she's allowed to join, which I tried to say it would be fine, but didn't pressure her. she then said she would like for people to know what happened so they can be safe and asked me to share an abridged version of the story. I don't mind in the slightest because I feel she wants to stay low key and something tells me if she tells her story, then people may find out her online identity. typing that, I can see some major flaws in this post, but if that boy happens to read this for some reason, then at least he can virtually attack me and not her. I hope that made sense haha.

Awweeeee I hate that you went through that Heart, and I'm glad of the Samaritan who helped you.

it's just - I don't know. it's not easy to help someone as you will be dragged into someone else's conflict, but I'd rather suffer a bloody nose than horrible guilt or worry about how she ended up. oh god. what if I read about her in the newspaper one week later! no. I couldn't ever look myself in the mirror again.

thanks for the compliment but I'm just a regular person with a lot of flaws, but I try to be a good person ^-^

Link to post
Share on other sites

That's really kind of you. I wish more folk would offer 'rolls and a shoulder to those in need. Being harassed is dreadful.

I'm sure you were deeply appreciated that day <3

Link to post
Share on other sites

That was very kind of you to help her, you are an awesome person ^_^

I am sorry to hear that some people in this world (especially the ones who she knows) hurts her for who she is, and that is disgusting. People need to learn to accept others for who they are, no matter what. Even if they may seem "different" than before, they are still the same person you used to hang out with before.

I am glad to hear that her mother actually cared for her daughter, which is great to see that some people in this world actually care about their children, this event shows that there are bad people who can not accept change, and there are good people who love their child regardless.

I hope she is doing well as well :D

Link to post
Share on other sites

That's really kind of you. I wish more folk would offer 'rolls and a shoulder to those in need. Being harassed is dreadful.

I'm sure you were deeply appreciated that day <3

Awwww thank you jack. I hope I did some good at least. She's a sweet person, and to me, the last thing on my mind would be to do anything to harm her. I just can't figure some people out.

That was very kind of you to help her, you are an awesome person ^_^

I am sorry to hear that some people in this world (especially the ones who she knows) hurts her for who she is, and that is disgusting. People need to learn to accept others for who they are, no matter what. Even if they may seem "different" than before, they are still the same person you used to hang out with before.

I am glad to hear that her mother actually cared for her daughter, which is great to see that some people in this world actually care about their children, this event shows that there are bad people who can not accept change, and there are good people who love their child regardless.

I hope she is doing well as well :D

Thanks Ace_Kat! Oh, well, you know. I try and stuff. Yeah, I'm really happy about her mother's response, especially as I think she can have have a good chat with the father and persuade him. Honestly, it confuses me some people in this world can be that way.

You're right. It's disgusting.

Link to post
Share on other sites
UncommonNonsense

Back in HS, my best friend was a gay boy. I've talked about him here before.

His father often made nasty, un-funny, homophobic 'jokes' in front of us (I was at his house a lot, and he was at mine a lot... he even called *my* mother "Ma") and I know he likely said worse to my friend when I wasn't around.

One day, my friend and I were talking as we listened to musicals in my basement rec room. He said "I'll never be able to come out to Dad. You know how he is. I'm afraid he'd kick me out or beat the living shit out of me". His tone was sad and resigned.

I'm not sure if his Dad would have done anything physically violent... he was a big, solid, heavyset, tall, muscular guy though, and I know my friend had a better idea of what his Dad was capable of than I did. My friend had to hide all his dating relationships, and I was his cover. We pretended to be dating, largely to get the homophobic bullies at school off his case, but also to fool his father.

That night, I talked to Mum. I asked her if it would be ok with her if my friend came to live with us if his folks kicked him out or if his father got violent. She knew he was gay and accepted him totally (She even loved him a bit and took on a parental role with him, even though he wasn't her kid), so she said "Absolutely! He can have the bedroom beside yours!"

I phoned him and told him what Mum said, and I could hear the tension in his voice fall away. He'd been carrying the stress of possible homelessness for a long time, and my Mum had just given him a loving, supportive back-up family to run to if things got too bad in his own family.

It never came to that, and eventually he started to push back against his father's casual homophobia. Eventually, he *did* come out to his parents, and while things were stressful for a while, he now has a great relationship with them.

Link to post
Share on other sites

That's really kind of you. I wish more folk would offer 'rolls and a shoulder to those in need. Being harassed is dreadful.

That was very kind of you to help her, you are an awesome person ^_^

I am sorry to hear that some people in this world (especially the ones who she knows) hurts her for who she is, and that is disgusting. People need to learn to accept others for who they are, no matter what. Even if they may seem "different" than before, they are still the same person you used to hang out with before.

I am glad to hear that her mother actually cared for her daughter, which is great to see that some people in this world actually care about their children, this event shows that there are bad people who can not accept change, and there are good people who love their child regardless.

I hope she is doing well as well :D

Thanks Ace_Kat! Oh, well, you know. I try and stuff. Yeah, I'm really happy about her mother's response, especially as I think she can have have a good chat with the father and persuade him. Honestly, it confuses me some people in this world can be that way.

You're right. It's disgusting.

I just wish some people in this world would accept others for who they are. They are not harming society, they are not making your life worse, so why should you?

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...