Pandilla Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 Figured I would make one to settle myself in... I am totally not good at this but meh I am a 23 year old biracial male who has aspergers and who plays alot of video games lol. I have no clue what I am, when I was younger I grew up being told that to be a man I need to have sex, and I would often get ridiculed by my classmates/family for not doing so (even to this day). I believe that its something special you should only do with someone your emotionally and mentally connected with. but im sure many other people would differ in their opinion. also I dont really experience physical attraction, im more attracted to how well I connect with someone if that matters... I am a hopeless romantic aswell :P anyway Im not looking to pick people up here, I am hoping that my friend settles down with me, but considering my history with people, I doubt it will happen. but I hope to atleast put in effort on my side towards it unlike most people, I tend to prefer being alone... not because I like it but to keep people from having to deal with me. I just lock myself inside of my room and play video games, or read, or surf the net... keeps me from hurting others and them from hurting me... anyway, I came here to understand my friend better and possibly myself aswell... guess thats it Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 Welcome dilla! Have some cake ^_^ (we already met but I thought I'd give you some cake anyway, heh) Link to post Share on other sites
Baam Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 Welcome! I love video games as well! That's ridiculous about them saying you need to have sex to be a man! Hahaha laughable. That's like saying you need to get pregnant at some stage in order to be a woman. Stupid. I love spending most of my time playing video games as well. However in the last year I've went from 1 friend to about 15 in for the first time ever which is really weird but kinda cool. If you've only ever experienced sexual attraction (or an innate desire to have sex) towards people that you have a very close emotional bond with, you may find it useful to look into the term 'demisexual'. It seemed that you were implying that your friend was asexual? Link to post Share on other sites
Pandilla Posted February 7, 2016 Author Share Posted February 7, 2016 Welcome dilla! Have some cake ^_^ (we already met but I thought I'd give you some cake anyway, heh) thank you, hope its Red Velvet cake :) Welcome! I love video games as well! That's ridiculous about them saying you need to have sex to be a man! Hahaha laughable. That's like saying you need to get pregnant at some stage in order to be a woman. Stupid. I love spending most of my time playing video games as well. However in the last year I've went from 1 friend to about 15 in for the first time ever which is really weird but kinda cool. If you've only ever experienced sexual attraction (or an innate desire to have sex) towards people that you have a very close emotional bond with, you may find it useful to look into the term 'demisexual'. It seemed that you were implying that your friend was asexual? indeed, she is an aromantic Ace... but to the "Sex to become a man" thing, I can kind of understand where they are coming from with that because for the most part, my family comes from the Ghetto, where people tend not to live over the age of 25-30 due to the gang & drug situation... but still, its not something I wanna do on a whim... Link to post Share on other sites
Starlit Sky Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 Oh, she's aromantic ace? Hmm . . . it could be that she's gray-aromantic, in which case you have a shot. How do you think you would feel if you were in a queerplatonic relationship with her? I understand it's not ideal, but maybe that would work out? Also, I have a question! :D What do you mean when you don't experience physical attraction? I'm afraid I've never understood that, sorry. XD Do you mean aesthetic attraction, or sexual? (I know we've already talked but I'm totally awesome so HI WELCOME TO AVEN. It's like two in the morning please forgive me I know I don't make sense haha) Link to post Share on other sites
Pandilla Posted February 7, 2016 Author Share Posted February 7, 2016 Oh, she's aromantic ace? Hmm . . . it could be that she's gray-aromantic, in which case you have a shot. How do you think you would feel if you were in a queerplatonic relationship with her? I understand it's not ideal, but maybe that would work out? Also, I have a question! :D What do you mean when you don't experience physical attraction? I'm afraid I've never understood that, sorry. XD Do you mean aesthetic attraction, or sexual? (I know we've already talked but I'm totally awesome so HI WELCOME TO AVEN. It's like two in the morning please forgive me I know I don't make sense haha) lol its fine, and i have honestly no clue what a queerplatonic relationship is? i mean we talked about an exclusive friendship a while ago and I wouldnt mind that. I guess just some form of exclusivity, i dunno... and when I say physical attraction I mean sexual attraction to how someone looks :P i dunno but it just doesnt turn me on like it does for most people... and thank you :) its 12 am here so I can understand Link to post Share on other sites
Starlit Sky Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 Oh, she's aromantic ace? Hmm . . . it could be that she's gray-aromantic, in which case you have a shot. How do you think you would feel if you were in a queerplatonic relationship with her? I understand it's not ideal, but maybe that would work out? Also, I have a question! :D What do you mean when you don't experience physical attraction? I'm afraid I've never understood that, sorry. XD Do you mean aesthetic attraction, or sexual? (I know we've already talked but I'm totally awesome so HI WELCOME TO AVEN. It's like two in the morning please forgive me I know I don't make sense haha) lol its fine, and i have honestly no clue what a queerplatonic relationship is? i mean we talked about an exclusive friendship a while ago and I wouldnt mind that. I guess just some form of exclusivity, i dunno... and when I say physical attraction I mean sexual attraction to how someone looks :P i dunno but it just doesnt turn me on like it does for most people... and thank you :) its 12 am here so I can understand I don't know how good I am at explaining a queerplatonic relationship, but basically . . . it's sort of like when two people get together and "act" as a romantic couple (e.g., they might cuddle, they might live together, they might do everything together), but aren't actually doing the romantic part. I would actually bet that's what she was sort of getting at when y'all were talking about an exclusive friendship! Also, thank you for explaining they physical attraction bit XD Link to post Share on other sites
Pandilla Posted February 7, 2016 Author Share Posted February 7, 2016 Oh, she's aromantic ace? Hmm . . . it could be that she's gray-aromantic, in which case you have a shot. How do you think you would feel if you were in a queerplatonic relationship with her? I understand it's not ideal, but maybe that would work out? Also, I have a question! :D What do you mean when you don't experience physical attraction? I'm afraid I've never understood that, sorry. XD Do you mean aesthetic attraction, or sexual? (I know we've already talked but I'm totally awesome so HI WELCOME TO AVEN. It's like two in the morning please forgive me I know I don't make sense haha) lol its fine, and i have honestly no clue what a queerplatonic relationship is? i mean we talked about an exclusive friendship a while ago and I wouldnt mind that. I guess just some form of exclusivity, i dunno... and when I say physical attraction I mean sexual attraction to how someone looks :P i dunno but it just doesnt turn me on like it does for most people... and thank you :) its 12 am here so I can understand I don't know how good I am at explaining a queerplatonic relationship, but basically . . . it's sort of like when two people get together and "act" as a romantic couple (e.g., they might cuddle, they might live together, they might do everything together), but aren't actually doing the romantic part. I would actually bet that's what she was sort of getting at when y'all were talking about an exclusive friendship! Also, thank you for explaining they physical attraction bit XD lol I would be open to such a kind of relationship. later down the road (4 or so years) I wouldnt mind asking her to marry me though :o Link to post Share on other sites
Baam Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 That's almost a QPR. It's essentially a really strong relationship. It goes beyond best friends; it's the strongest you can get. It's the platonic equivalent to two people being partners in a romantic relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Pandilla Posted February 7, 2016 Author Share Posted February 7, 2016 That's almost a QPR. It's essentially a really strong relationship. It goes beyond best friends; it's the strongest you can get. It's the platonic equivalent to two people being partners in a romantic relationship. Life Partners I believe is the term I have heard before which would be equal to that right? Link to post Share on other sites
Baam Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 Essentially, yes! Our one and only David Jay has a really good video on relationships that I think everyone should watch. I'll find a link if you haven't seen it (and want to). Link to post Share on other sites
Pandilla Posted February 7, 2016 Author Share Posted February 7, 2016 Essentially, yes! Our one and only David Jay has a really good video on relationships that I think everyone should watch. I'll find a link if you haven't seen it (and want to). toss me the link if you can find it :) Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Girl Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 Hi and welcome! Thanks for your intro! This is a great place to make some new friends and feel supported too. It's also a good place to learn how others handle being in relationships. I'm glad you joined and hope you love being part of this awesome community.!!! :) Link to post Share on other sites
kelico Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 Welcome to AVEN! I'm glad you decided to introduce yourself! We're happy to have you here. : ) You'll find a lot of people that can relate to you. I know what you mean about just staying inside with video games and books. I much prefer that as well! :lol: Best wishes, and I hope you enjoy being a member! Link to post Share on other sites
Glamourgirl06 Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 Hey Dilla, I'm new to the site as well. I am a 27 sexual female, married just looking for friends. Myself and especially my wife, plays video games as well. lol She is asexual and I really like meeting new people to That's why I decided to write to your post, your a gamer as well! What do you like to play?:) Link to post Share on other sites
lina-gray Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 hi and welcome! wish you enjoy your stay here Link to post Share on other sites
marauders Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 Welcome to AVEN! I hope that you find the forums useful, fun, and welcoming! Link to post Share on other sites
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