My true introduction to Asexuality

[Mike_Rophone]

I'm gonna try to keep this brief. Once I learned that I could be asexual, one of the first thing I remember thinking was "Okay, so my friends just want sex with people." No big, that's just them. For some reason, the actual meaning of that didn't hit me until today. My friend and I were talking, and my crushes name popped into the convo(he doesn't know I am very interested in her). I remember him saying that he just really wanted to have sex with her. For some reason, that really opened up asexuality for me. No matter how hard I thought about it, I couldn't see what the actual appeal of sex is. Sure, she has a nice figure, but why would someo ne just want to do that?

So my question to you is, what opened it up for you? What helped you realize you were ace?

[Muledeer]

My best friend was trying to figure out why I never hooked up with anyone or if I could possibly be gay. He asked me point blank "so.....are you asexual?" "What's that?", I asked and after he defined the term, without hesitation, I said 'yea, I don't care about sex".

It still took me a few more years to accept that I was indeed Ace and not just celibate.

[Scottthespy]

I more realized that every one else WASN'T. It was in Highschool when all my friends were talking marriage and comparing sex lives that I was like 'wait, really? Am I the only one NOT interested in this? Huh...weird'. When I first used the word "asexual" to describe my lack of sex, I didn't realize it was an actual thing. Two years later I googled it and found out it was. None of this has really changed how I feel about anything, but its nice to know that I can be part of that coveted "somebody else like this" for other people.

[Starlit Sky]

^ That's pretty much my story! Forever I thought everyone else was weird, and I joked that I was asexual when I was around ten years old with my friends.

That being said, I've known for years and years that asexuality is a "real orientation," but I never figured I could be that because I didn't realize that asexual =/= aromantic. "I want to be with guys, though! I can't be asexual!"

Buuut then I found the word "heteromantic" on the same webpage as "asexual," and I knew immediately that that's what I was.

[Baam]

Similar to Scott and Starlit. I came across an article online (linked on FB from one of my sister's friends, actually), and it was on asexuality. I looked more into it, and the more I did the more I realised that this was what I am. I was gobsmacked to find out that pretty much everyone around me was having all these thoughts and urges. I was completely oblivious to it all. I know it's not all the time, by the way, but the fact that they do at all was surprising to me.

[SummerPetal]

Hello, for me I only found out in my late 20's, I think I was about 27, as I never knew asexual ever existed. I was telling someone my feelings since I was a child from 10-15 onwards, how I noticed all my sisters' and other people around me when I was 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, etc seemed to always say I love this person, he/she is so hot. I would never feel an attraction for any sex, whether male or female. I would only touch a male body and can only look at a male body naked and would only have a male companion as a partner, but I have to get to know them, I have never had a physical attraction before with anyone and had no interest in sex, or ever had a sexual desire before. When it came to my 20's I never changed, I always thought was there something wrong with me. This person then asked me if I was happy, if you ever get a partner then what would you want to do with them? I said I am not bothered about my feelings, I am happy with how I feel, not upset or sad and very comfortable, and if I had a partner I only want to talk to them, go out with them, perhaps hug, touch, nothing else. She then said to me I think it may be possible you're an asexual. I was asking her what that meant and she said I don't know much about it but if you look it up on the Internet like on Google, it will be on there and she said there are forums on there that describe it. So I looked on there as suggested and found this forum and it seems to be correct.

I have told people in the past when I was younger around 18 how I never want to have sex as I have a feeling I would never like it and told people how I've never had an attraction before and they never understood me nor did I understand, and I think they may have thought I was strange and then were saying things like you never know you will like sex until you've done it, how do you know you won't like it? I just answered I just do. They looked at me as though they thought I was strange. I never heard of this term Asexual before until later when I was around 27 years old when someone told me about it at this age and I couldn't describe it properly or understood it properly as a teen or in my early twenties and thought at the time I was the only person like it. I now know I am not as someone has told me and found things online also.

[PJammaGod]

I always knew in the far recesses of my mind that I simply did not click the same way as other people did. It wasn't until the Australian Broadcaster Triple J had an article on their afternoon current affairs program "Hack" that I heard the term Asexual. This was 2004 so my access to the internet and commonly aligned voices was still rather limited. It was a half-hour program on the topic and I knew from the moment I heard that word just whom and what I identified as.

[blanket burrito]

I thiiink I knew of asexuality for a while, but only in a vague sense, and I was in denial and slightly confused about my lack of sexual attraction. But then I was in a relationship which, uh, got more serious than previous relationships. And I kind of had to confront the fact that I could officially say I had tried sex, and if anything, felt even less comfortable, which is when I acknowledged that something was unusual. And once we broke up, I realized how much of a relief it was not to feel any pressure to do things I didn't really want to do (100% not my ex's fault, btw).

So I was googling questions about why I felt that way, and eventually, AVEN cropped up. So here I am. :)