Is there a name for this orientation?

[Velma]

I know someone who is only sexually attracted to someone if it's totally unreciprocated. If there's any chance at all he might have a shot at the girl, he loses all interest. He claims it's a coincidence. But it's every time! Single and ogling him? Not interested. But if she gets married and moves to China? Love of his life and dreams of her all the time. She gets divorced and moves down the street? No interest.

I used to think that he was just sexually phobic but didn't want to admit it- so he only allowed himself "safe" people who he'd never ever get a chance with whatsoever. Then he could just pretend that he had sexual attraction or something. It sounds harsh, but it's frustrating to hear him pine away for some woman he hasn't seen or heard from in a decade. That's current "love" interest. She might as well not exist. In many ways, she doesn't. Who knows what she's like now 10 years later?

But maybe he's just wired that way. Who knows? Anyone hear of this?

[ItWasNiceKnowingYou]

That sounds like lithromanticism/s*xual. The feelings go away once they're reciprocated

[deltaX]

It sounds like he could be lithromantic and/or lithsexual. I don't identify as lith myself, but from what I understand, it's having attraction without needing or wanting it to be reciprocated. I'd encourage you and your friend to look into it if you haven't already.

[Velma]

Perfect. I knew there was some name for it! Thanks!

I was just thinking that it had to be something. He's 100% unreciprocated and I've known the guy forever.

[Guest]

Moved thread from Asexual Q&A to The Gray Area, Sex and Related Discussions.

Nai

Asexual Q&A Co-Moderator