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Changing masturbation thoughts?


Dawg4280

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Has anyone ever tried to change what you think about when you masturbate. I am pretty insecure about what I masturbate to, especially before I found out because I was trying to think about sex with no luck. Now I still want to change because it gets equated with some of my hobbies, and don't want to aroused all the time while doing them. Anyone have advice on this?

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Mines change all the time. Do what works for you. Nothing to be ashamed of.

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I have never masturabted before, but I will tell you this: Do whatever that makes you comfortable and works out for you.

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As I said my only issue with it now is that I get aroused in situations that are highly inconvenient

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One Winged Angel

If you have thought of the same imagery for many years it can difficult to change it, at least overnight. However if you feel unfomfortable with anything that you are thinking about, then by all means take steps to change those thoughts. I mean, your careful about what you put in your body, so be careful about what you put in your mind as well. It is possible to change our thought patterns, but it can take long time and a lot of determination.

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As I said my only issue with it now is that I get aroused in situations that are highly inconvenient

Ah, yes. That moment when your teacher is rambling on and you start getting aroused. . . . Or some such situation.

Honestly though, I'm not sure how to give you advice without knowing further information, like an example of what you get turned on by in the first place. Perhaps try to only associate masturbation and whatnot with your bedroom, or the bathroom, or something else . . . I'm really not sure, other than that. :/

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Is it complicated? I don't even think about it until I am in bed with absolutely nothing to do lmao. I always think to myself "Well... here we are in my bed again..". Then I wonder about a bunch of random things and then I decide whether I want to or just sleep.

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I think about feminine fashion. I have always liked it, but did not talk about because I was a boy. When I started to masturbate I could not think about sex and climax, and never have. So I thought about well dressed women, and it worked. I also thought about emasculation, it was a fansity that I enjoyed as a non heteronormative male trying mighty to be masculine. Now this stuff doesn't work as well because I am out, and it is not much of a fansity or even a big deal anymore. Also I get arouse me while looking at clothes, which I like to regardless, and when complimenting friends. That is why I want an alternative.

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I get why this sucks for you. It's hard to change your fantasies though. I tried it, but sort of failed. Though I have to admit it was more because I decided it was not really worth efford than that I actually really 100% percent certainly couldn't do it.

To me it sounds like your fantasy really comes from within, not because it's a practiced association. Which would make it harder to change, theoretically, I think. What I tried was simply to masturbate while consciously not thinking about the things I usually think about. I tried to do it what I imagine is the 'normal' way: thinking of myself in sexual situations, and anytime the usual images come up, I tried to visualize them sort of leaking out of my head, so to speak. If you're certain that's not a scenario that's going to work for you, try thinking about nothing at all. Like really focus on your body and the here and now ('mindful masturbation', so to speak, lol). This works alright for me, but only when I'm under the influence of substances such as alcohol or weed. If you don't want to try that, well, maybe find another thing you really like, and try to see if you can like it the way you like female clothing, maybe by reading or watching (erotic) stuff about it, or imagining this thing in a certain way that might work for you. You said you've been able to get aroused from something other than feminine clothing before, so theoretically it should be possible to 'change' again. It might be helpful to try and write down exactly why feminine clothing has this effect on you.

And as for the arousal at inconvenient moments: maybe put a rubber band around your wrist around snap it real hard when it's happening? It sounds a bit silly, but it might work....

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Neurotransmitters take the most efficient routes possible. When you do something for a long time with an expected outcome (e.g. fantasizing about something specific and having an orgasm), it becomes almost engraved in your brain. Your body knows that's the most efficient route to an orgasm. So you need to teach your brain something new. Slowly introduce a new stimulus while doing what you normally do. A great example is someone who's new to sex, and is having difficulties having an orgasm with a partner. You would start off with masturbating with someone else, before you transition to them providing sexual stimuli, before transitioning to partnered sex.

So you start off with thinking what you normally think of, with one new element in it. And you slowly transition, element by element, until your thoughts are on a different route. At least, that's how I perceive it as.

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Has anyone ever tried to change what you think about when you masturbate. I am pretty insecure about what I masturbate to, especially before I found out because I was trying to think about sex with no luck. Now I still want to change because it gets equated with some of my hobbies, and don't want to aroused all the time while doing them. Anyone have advice on this?

My view:

That term hobby sounds like the most benign thing ever, however if someone is trying to lose weight and has a hobby of constantly ingesting food... "hobby" is not an excuse for everything.

I am not saying that's your case, I am saying that everything should be taken into consideration.

My solution:

First- you were gravely mistaken you should think about sex when masturbating, you "should" think about whatever turns you on.

Second- masturbation is a process, a mechanism.Learn it and dissect it, analyze why these things ( that turn you on ) have this effect on you, precisely what about them turns you on, what is the "erotic" construct they participate in.

As a result you may be able to come up with something that both turns you on better and has nothing to do with your hobbies.

Another thing- you didn't mention whether you find virtue in masturbation on its own or the only reason you masturbate is to get rid of arousal.

I mean some people would have never masturbated unless they needed to get rid of the sexual tension/arousal so if that is your case then some different kind of advises may be given to you like some things to avoid eating and some exercises and so on...

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  • 4 weeks later...
Androgynoid Replicant

sorry. had to edit that.

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scarletlatitude

I'm not sure if you can change what you are sexually attracted to. Maybe try thinking of the same thing but in a different situation?

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For a while I was really trying to change my thoughts when masturbating, but it always tended to steer off in that direction. But those thoughts never interfered with what I did; they just didn't cross my mind in a passive stream of conscious way, unless I was already in a position to masturbate (either at the end of the night or on a weekend when I had nothing better to do). I guess I'm lucky that it's turned out this way, but it's changed a bit over time to get here, and I've had to make choices along the way to separate the real world from the world in my head when I'm extremely aroused. If you can't control what you're thinking about when you're masturbating, you might be able to disconnect it from when you're not.

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nanogretchen4

Compartmentalization works really well for me, but I have a fairly low libido. I have to concentrate on sexual thoughts in a very deliberate way to get aroused. Actual touching is required for a more automatic response.

I have heard that changing a fetish is possible but difficult. The most successful approach is switching to another fetish that is closely related but causes fewer problems. For example, could you make a habit of thinking about specific types of women's clothing that are rarely worn outside of a sexual situation, like lingerie or common fetish gear? It might cut down on getting aroused in totally inappropriate circumstances.

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Mike_Rophone

I just think about how their body looks nice, or sometimes there face. Obviously I don't enjoy the thought of sex. Also, assuming we are on the same page of what you mean by 'aroused', it happens randomly for me to, but it is more of when I am bored with listening. Just try to focus on whatever you are doing. That at least works for me.

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