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It's okay for everyone except me. But is it really?


interpol

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So in my head I think that sex is totally ok for everyone except me because I am difficult.

Things would have to be just SO for me to have sex. Like it isn't going to be one of those things where I'm just like "oh hey let's get naked." Loving bashful is more like it.

Too, anyone finding out I like BDSM and thinking that's probably the only way I CAN do it because I think being degraded is all I'm worth is a not so settling thought. Even though I know BDSM isn't meant to be that way.

The bashful loving kind is....bashful making because I thought I was an iron-hearted bitch, but that kind of imagination makes me realize I am not.

What do I do?

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don't ask me I still assume everyone secretly doesn't really have sex ever :lol:

sometimes with these things, if I have patience and persistence I can slowly change my attitude by reminding myself of what I want to believe.

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There is a thread called Kink, BDSM & Cake, maybe that will help you?

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Too, anyone finding out I like BDSM and thinking that's probably the only way I CAN do it because I think being degraded is all I'm worth is a not so settling thought. Even though I know BDSM isn't meant to be that way.

I think I get what you mean. I don't know if BDSM would be something I enjoy, but I do enjoy imagining fictional characters in this way, and the thought that I might enjoy actually doing this sort of thing myself I find highly unsettling. Not if I were to be the dominant party, but the submissive one, being a heterosexual female... in my head this just gets tied up with all sorts of problematic power issues and conventional repressive gender roles which I hate. (Plus it's an embarassing thought.) Ironically enough, for my fictional characters it's always sort of empowering in a way.

Anyway, from what you said I understand that the most problematic issue for you would be the thought that being degraded is all what you're good for, and the thought that this is someting that you believe as well as something that other people will think about you. If you really know/suspect that BDSM situations are really your type of sexual sitiuation and you want to (want to) do it, maybe a 'semi-psychological explanation' that can work as a counterbalance to these problematic notions could be the following: That you want this because, for example, you're a person that usually always wants to be control, and is in control and confident and worthy and valuable (and maybe even dominant), but that wants to give up all control sometimes and just undergo extreme sensations or whatever, for a change, or for relaxation. Which means that when partaking in these activities, you will be getting what you want in your way and nothing more and nothing less, without this negatively impacting or changing you as person in any way whatsoever -- and without this being anyone's business but yours. So it's okay. At least it should be, if it's for everyone else as well.

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