Stuff.co.nz - Dear Mrs Salisbury: I think I'm asexual - should I tell my husband?

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Dear Mrs Salisbury: I think I'm asexual - should I tell my husband?

2016/01/17

Psychologist Robyn Salisbury helps a reader with a relationship dilemma.

Question: My husband and I have been together for seven years, married five of those. At 25, he was my first real relationship and first sexual partner.

I have never had an orgasm, which my husband finds strange. He thinks I should have self-experimented from my teenage years but I didn't even consider it. He seems to think I enjoy sex but I can honestly say that it is something I could quite happily live without and it is only something that I do for him.

As I have gotten older I have realised that I don't actually feel abnormal when it comes to my lack of interest in sex. I am happy as I am and don't see a need to change. I have also started to wonder if I am in fact asexual, as I also don't actually find myself physically attracted at all to other men or even women. I don't find my husband physically attractive either, but I am drawn to other characteristics about him.