Attracted to someone but.... Give me a way of getting out of this crazy crush!

[dezdimona]

There are always buts aren't there? I haven't been online because I think I have sexual feelings for him, emotionally it was very gradual but suddenly pop - there it is. Although these sexual feelings are when I am not with him... or not... and trust me, the situation I keep it all in check, here are the strikes:

1-We work together in the same company

2-He is a good deal younger - the chemistry is kind of obvious though...

3-I think he has different values when it comes to sex

4-I don't want to have sex with him, just fantasize about it really. Most expect it even on the first date and well, being the girl the risk is mine

5-I would rather be shot than have my parents marriage. Love is a homing devise and what we start off with is often who we end up with, what we fall for and I see the same mannerisms as my Dad....

So have you ever had a crazy crush and how did you get over it?

[thekittyhawk]

getting rejected always seems to help me ._.

Once i had the HUGEST crush and for like two weeks i was just kinda skipping around enjoying it and then one day she said something like "I hate having crushes, it's a good thing i don't have one right now."

I was sad about it for like a day then i moved on and the crush was gone.

I'm probably weird though, and also we had never met in person, only over the internet.

I don't think it's that easy to get over crushes normally, but maybe looking elsewhere for someone might help you get over him if it's specifically him you don't want; but if it's just a relationship in general, maybe try and find something to turn you off from him. Maybe he's gay or married. Maybe he supports Donald Trump. Maybe he bites into KitKats instead of breaking them up first.

[hbadger98]

I've only had one full on crush ever and at the time... I didn't enjoy it to say the least.

It was on a really close friend (who just happened to be aro goshdarnit XD) and I just kinda had to wait it out. What happens for me is that most of the time I get a little romantically attracted to people that I'll end up being friends with, then after a while platonic squishy feelings just sort of take over. Sometimes it happens over a longer period, like 9 months lol

I kinda miss having a crush now, especially when I kinda want a gf but don't find anyone attractive other than platonically. It was just something to kinda dream about, no matter how bad the dream was.

My advice to you is to perhaps allow yourself to go through the emotion, repressing it doesn't actually allow you to get over it. Other than that, if you really really feel it with him and don't have /too/ much to lose, maybe you could give it a chance? If the chemistry is there, I don't see why most of the other things should have a huge influence.

Good luck,

Badger :)

Side note: I once tried to bite a kitkat instead of breaking it. I still repent to this day.

[Wiseja1987]

Most expect it even on the first date

Um...What?

I don't know who's been telling you this, but it's factually incorrect. Most people, regardless of gender, do not "expect" sex on a first date, even if they are strongly attracted to the other person. People who are looking for casual sex often say so upfront, and don't always require a date first. People who "expect" sex are dangerous, entitled people who don't respect your autonomy, and it is not normal. At all.

being the girl the risk is mine

You are perfectly right that you set your own risk tolerance. If you feel like this person isn't safe, like he would expect sex from you, steer clear. In terms of getting over the feelings, I'd recommend being very nice to yourself. Do things you like doing, hang out with people who make you feel loved. This will prevent you from getting tunnel vision about this guy, and remind you that you're pretty awesome, single or not.

[Blue Phoenix Ace]

How do you get rid of a crush? I don't know if it's possible. Getting rejected by them is painful, but it can help to "get over it" as previously mentioned. Maybe you could just try to start a friendship with him and see what happens from there.

[Holy Ghost]

easy, pretend they don't matter and be realistic.

I've had a great deal of crushes and squishes. some people are unattainable that helps me get over them.

[Guest]

time and distraction.

[melancholy-sweet]

I kind of enjoy my crushes. It's just a fun thing for my brain to be occupied with, to wander to when I'm daydreaming. Your brain and heart will be as preoccupied with this crush for as long as they need to be, so I think there's some value to just being along for the ride. The more you obsess and wish that you weren't feeling the way you are feeling, the more acutely you will be aware of that feeling. Just sit with them, observe them. No need to act on them.

This is all easier said than done, and I apologize if this wasn't more helpful, but I hope you find a bit of peace either way. Good luck!

[Starlit Sky]

1) I've had several of what I like to call "quarter-crushes," which, as they might suggest, aren't real crushes and therefore aren't very distracting, or even really much of a problem. However, I have had one real crush, and I practically just walked around all day in a haze and thought about him non-stop and, frankly, it was ANNOYING. I didn't know it then, but there are a few things that I could have done. Depending on how "big" of a crush you've got on this guy, you might need to do some more than others:

1. Meditation - Not because it's having a crush is a disease or anything, though. XD I just mean that meditation can help you center yourself better, and clear your mind. Besides, meditation has a lot of benefits! :)
2. Hobbies - Surround yourself as best you can whatever you like to do: reading, dancing, watching comedy shows on your favorite TV channel. . . . Make sure that you're still doing things that you enjoy, and any time you find yourself thinking about him a little too much, if you have the opportunity, do something like these!
3. Socialize - Because being around friends and listening to them B.S. is a distraction in and of itself.

Those probably sound like crap suggestions, but they're really the best I've got for you . . . the less you think about him (that is, the more you do these things), the less you are likely to like him.

2) Now . . . you are correct to say that we often end up with whatever "role-models" we had as children. The cycle can be a wonderful one . . . or a vicious one. I am lucky, in that the only two things I actually check out on when it comes to having "daddy issues" are romantically preferring older men (though, I don't exclusively like them; I can be interested in guys my age as well) and being over-protective (something I'm trying to fix). At the same time, I've never been romantically interested in "douchebags." I am lucky.

I am not sure if you are attracted to bad boys are not . . . but I will tell you that the trick to not falling into the cycle lies within confidence in yourself. If you love yourself and respect yourself, and if you aren't willing to give up your needs from someone else, and you are confident with your personality, as well as your looks, and you KNOW what you deserve (and you deserve all positive things, not negatives)--if you can confidently say "yes" to everything I just listed, then you most likely do not have to worry too much about falling into a relationship like that again.

I wonder what some of these tendencies that your crush exhibits that are similar to what your father was like? Try to remember that people often have similarities but are very different. My father and my former crush were/are both insomniacs, for example. Also, both of them like/d having a certain degree of control over people (the difference is that my former crush took it more as a "leadership thing," rather than trying to force it on everyone around him). You are going to know what you meant when you said that WAY better than I am, but I just thought I'd throw that in there just in case it helps, too. :)

[ChainSmokingBob]

getting rejected always seems to help me ._.

Maybe he bites into KitKats instead of breaking them up first.

Loved both of these lines -- getting rejected usually does it for me too.

[Chihiro]

Maybe he's gay or married. Maybe he supports Donald Trump. Maybe he bites into KitKats instead of breaking them up first.

ROFL!

[dezdimona]

Maybe he's gay or married. Maybe he supports Donald Trump. Maybe he bites into KitKats instead of breaking them up first.

ROFL!

Actually he's pretty stuck up, proved that today.. ROFL! Definitely not married so....

[dezdimona]

Finally pretty much over the crazy crush, glad I kept my cards close to my heart and only showed them to you. He proved he is a jerk to a great degree and he gets off on it. We were supposed to work on a project and he sighs and said "Well, this is going to be interesting" I wish I could crush him but will just move on and let it blow over... I think maybe he has it worse for me than I do for him otherwise he wouldn't need to be a jerk. It is just another unwanted backhanded compliment but a compliment just the same.