Can you become ACE as you age?

[SeriousCyclist]

And it seems to me that there's a point where non-libidoist asexual, and a sexual with no libido, would become almost impossible to distinguish though, even to the person concerned.

Both a non-libidoist asexual, and a sexual with no libido, could have no interest in sex, but not be actually sex averse, and may have romantic interest in having a relationship.

How are these actually different?"

Because an allosexual with no libido, is, by definition, an allosexual and NOT an asexual. They might act the same, but the allosexual's new actions are due to a medical or other condition, not an orientation that was likely prevalent since birth. Asexuality is an orientation that seems perfectly natural to the asexual, even though the asexual is in an extreme minority compared to the allosexuals. An asexual's personality will be different because they grew up with an entirely different orientation in the face of an overwhelming majority that operates in many ways that didn't make sense to the asexual.

Is it possible for an allosexual with a medically-induced state of asexuality to superficially act like an asexual? Probably. Will the allosexual learn what it's like to be an asexual? Probably. But the allosexual with a medically-induced state of asexuality will not know what it was like to grow up as an asexual, whereas the asexual's personality will be formed, in part, from that struggle.

709

[Sally]

Action is not orientation. Lack of action doesn't mean you change your orientation.

Orientation in a large sense how you see the world, where you are positioned/placed within that world. An asexual has an entirely different sense of placement within the overwhelmingly-sexual world than a sexual who no longer wants sex. The sexual can remember being a sexual, even though they're not interested in sex now; that remembering is an integral part of who they are. The asexual, obviously, has never developed those memories and never had that tie to the sexual world.

[R_1]

Action is not orientation. Lack of action doesn't mean you change your orientation.

Orientation in a large sense how you see the world, where you are positioned/placed within that world. An asexual has an entirely different sense of placement within the overwhelmingly-sexual world than a sexual who no longer wants sex. The sexual can remember being a sexual, even though they're not interested in sex now; that remembering is an integral part of who they are. The asexual, obviously, has never developed those memories and never had that tie to the sexual world.

And none of that is still argument against the possibility of individuals experiencing changes in level of interest that are more or less permanent. For people like me, I can remember I wanted sex, I can remember looking at a woman and actually wanting to experience sexual relationship with one, but that is dead since years ago, and to this age, I still haven't experienced something like this besides my unusual experience of having the side effects anesthesia and surgeries, and not since it died years ago. If you want deny existence of individuals who actually experiences changes in interest into sex, be my guest, but I'll let you know that there's no evidence to support your position that everyone is and always was that way. In fact, there's quite some evidence of permanent changes in interest in the neurology/psychology area and especially when there's brain trauma involved.

[R_1]

And it seems to me that there's a point where non-libidoist asexual, and a sexual with no libido, would become almost impossible to distinguish though, even to the person concerned.

Both a non-libidoist asexual, and a sexual with no libido, could have no interest in sex, but not be actually sex averse, and may have romantic interest in having a relationship.

How are these actually different?"

Because an allosexual with no libido, is, by definition, an allosexual and NOT an asexual. They might act the same, but the allosexual's new actions are due to a medical or other condition, not an orientation that was likely prevalent since birth. Asexuality is an orientation that seems perfectly natural to the asexual, even though the asexual is in an extreme minority compared to the allosexuals. An asexual's personality will be different because they grew up with an entirely different orientation in the face of an overwhelming majority that operates in many ways that didn't make sense to the asexual.

Is it possible for an allosexual with a medically-induced state of asexuality to superficially act like an asexual? Probably. Will the allosexual learn what it's like to be an asexual? Probably. But the allosexual with a medically-induced state of asexuality will not know what it was like to grow up as an asexual, whereas the asexual's personality will be formed, in part, from that struggle.

709

Well, there are medications that does have the side effect of diminishing sexuality as long as the medication is under work, but I doubt most allosexuals will realize that the way it affects them has anything in common with an asexual experience. Asides, I have no idea why sexuals still have hard time comprehending asexuality because it's not possible to be sexual every minutes of your life.

[Sally]

If you want deny existence of individuals who actually experiences changes in interest into sex, be my guest, but I'll let you know that there's no evidence to support your position that everyone is and always was that way. In fact, there's quite some evidence of permanent changes in interest in the neurology/psychology area and especially when there's brain trauma involved.

I wasn't claiming that as my "position".

Of course there's evidence of changes in interest. But that doesn't make someone asexual. Again, what I said is: "The sexual can remember being a sexual, even though they're not interested in sex now; that remembering is an integral part of who they are. The asexual, obviously, has never developed those memories and never had that tie to the sexual world."

If you're saying that a sexual with diminished interest in sex is the same as an asexual who has experienced a whole life of being asexual and all the feelings and societal relationships that goes with it, I say you're wrong.

[Qutenkuddly]

I will remind the members of this thread that AVEN ToS does not permit invalidating the identity of others. A number of recent posts here have come very close to doing so. Please take care with your comments.

Qutenkuddly,

Older Asexuals Moderator

[Lost247365]

I describe asexuality as lacking the potential to intrinsically desire sex with others.

Under that definition, I don't see why a person couldn't experience a change in orientation. At one point they had the potential, but then they lost it.

This also separates sexuals with low libidos from asexual in that in the sexual, that potential still exists. It might require hormones or therapy, but they still have a potential. But if they no longer are capable of desire, then their orientation changed and they are now asexual.

I mean, if a person goes from desiring sex only with the opposite gender to only desiring sex with the same gender, no one would deny that person underwent a change in orientation . The same could be the if it was the other way around. Or they could change to being bi/pan-sexual.

[shoshana72]

My experience has been that I can't even imagine wanting to have sex with someone now... no attraction, little to no arousal. I don't know why that is, but I do appreciate having a safe space to be myself with no expectation or hint of sex. Most aces seem happy to accept people by the identity they have claimed for themselves. That is not to say that we can all understand each other 100% of the time, but it does build solidarity and community.

This discussion reminds me of a controversy in the pagan community a few years back when transgendered women were denied entry to a women's ritual. Raises some tough questions.

[KAGU143]

To answer the original poster, I believe that the answer is yes. Under some circumstances a person can become functionally asexual due to age or possibly some other contributing factor. If it can be reversed with treatment then I would call it functional asexuality, but in the case where no treatment has any effect and the person is perfectly content to stay that way then I would call it acquired asexuality.

Just because something is rare it doesn't mean that it isn't real, and its rarity doesn't excuse someone making blanket statements that deny it's very existence.

Asexuality is the condition of NOT experiencing something that most people do experience, which is sexual attraction.

As an analogy, I like to use the experience of not experiencing vision. (We would normally refer to this as blindness.)

Is a person who becomes blind later in life due to injury not really blind, because after all, they can remember what it was like to see?

I would call this acquired blindness.

How about a person who finds themselves deep in an underground cavern with no light source? I would call this functional blindness.

How about a person who has never been out of the cave at any time, ever, so has never seen anything? I would call this functional blindness too, but it might also be "real" blindness. There is no way to find out without providing a light source, but what if they don't want it?

This situation would be analogous to a person with zero libido. Are they asexual or not? What if they don't care about finding out?

Which direction will that orientation compass needle point if there's no magnetic field to move it?

Anyway, it was nice visiting you guys again. :)

'Gotta get back to Apositive to watch the gang over there.