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New branch: Self Sexual... take the quiz. How many out there?


damage_case

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I just did a quiz on okcupid... turns out Im self sexual.

Its a quiz for those asexuals who want to know what kind of asexuals they are... its a pretty thorough quiz... take a look...

Are there any other self sexuals out there?

http://www.okcupid.com/tests/what-kind-of-asexual-are-you

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Need an account to find out results.

Many asexuals out on okcupid as well. I think many of them dont necessarily date.

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It sorted me into that category of "Self-Sexual" back when I did it. I don't really agree with it. Masturbating shouldn't impact "how ace you are", and the description made it sound as if I were enthusiastic about it... when in actuality, I'm hoping for my libido to die down and developing ED, to finally no longer have to waste my time on that unsanitary chore. -_-

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I have taken this one before and always get self-sexual <_<

This time I got Asexual :wub:


ace_zpsadsyirsa.png

Happy Dance time!!!

C7L2z9S.gif

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Yeah I think it's a silly category. It's basically like saying "I like to masturbate!" Well, woohoo. So does a large portion of the human population, regardless of whether they're gay, straight, bi, ace, pan, or whatever. It has nothing to do with being asexual, and it does rather make it sound like anyone who gets that result is a voracious masturbator.

It sort of negates this notion that sexual people have. Those who think that asexuals are lifeless bland people who dont masturbate are wrong... that I guess is self sexual... they do have sexual fantasies and thoughts... but they dont act it out with other people.

BTW I am a voracious masturbator. Daily. Almost mandatory. I cant imagine when I close my eyes... I have to look at porno.

If we're talking about stupid brackets I think demisexual is another term that I consider to be very vague n not necessary. Ofcourse everybody has sex with those they have some sort of bond with... even pornstars.

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It sorted me into that category of "Self-Sexual" back when I did it. I don't really agree with it. Masturbating shouldn't impact "how ace you are", and the description made it sound as if I were enthusiastic about it... when in actuality, I'm hoping for my libido to die down and developing ED, to finally no longer have to waste my time on that unsanitary chore. -_-

I thought asexuality was not something people choose just like other orientations. Why are you deliberately hoping/working at lowering down your libido?

Is it depression? Or OCD?

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I got a rock.

Seriously, just asexual with all 0% I think there was some sort of loading error.

Anyhoo, I made an account even though I'm happily married and have no desire to do the Cupid thing. I put in "Ewww" as a name but it was taken. So I took the first computer generated alternative. So I'm Ewwwasaurus. Now I HAVE to use the account. I'm dying to know who wants to try to tango with asexual Ewwwasaurus Regina, the ugly naked dinosaur. How can I pass that up? I'd let my husband play around with the account too, but he doesn't have exactly the same sense of humor that I do.

Ewwwasaurus. I think I may get my name legally changed.

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@damage...

Because masturbation is an icky and annoying chore, with the only "reward" being getting rid of a tension that I'd rather just not have in the first place. I'd like not to be bothered by it anymore. (That's not changing my orientation, either. I'm already asexual; I'm just annoyed that I'm not also non-libidoist.)

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@damage...

Because masturbation is an icky and annoying chore, with the only "reward" being getting rid of a tension that I'd rather just not have in the first place. I'd like not to be bothered by it anymore. (That's not changing my orientation, either. I'm already asexual; I'm just annoyed that I'm not also non-libidoist.)

You do know that as a man if you dont masturbate for a long time... it will end up soiling your pajamas at night... which will be more icky... ??

I'd like not to be bothered by it anymore... so you are fighting with nature and biology?

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You do know that as a man if you dont masturbate for a long time... it will end up soiling your pajamas at night... which will be more icky... ??

But that happens a lot less often than libido acting up and forcing me to deal with it in the waking hour. Soiled pajamas once every month or two, while still icky, would be the lesser evil.

I'd like not to be bothered by it anymore... so you are fighting with nature and biology?

You could say that, yep. My biological body is, in some regards, my arch-enemy. <_<

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Peace and love, damage. Let the poor soul with the dude unit not get their sex on any way they don't want! So long as they aren't asking you to help them make icky pajama goop in some sort of steamy kinkfest, why bother caring? Just go around not having sex your way and they'll go around not having sex theirs.

Now excuse me. All this nonsexy talk about the solo tango has gotten me all cold and unbothered. I need to take a hot shower now.

Oh and by the way..I'm going to look into making self romantic a thing. Cause I don't like touching myself, but I think I'm totally hot and enjoy shamelessly flirting with myself.

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If we're talking about stupid brackets I think demisexual is another term that I consider to be very vague n not necessary. Ofcourse everybody has sex with those they have some sort of bond with... even pornstars.

This isn't really what demi- means, though. It essentially means they *can't* experience attraction toward people they don't even know, which is definitely *very* different from a good chunk of the population that is able to experience and measure attractiveness of others, even total strangers, far more easily -- often at a mere glance.

You know those tests/experiments where you get shown 5 random people of the opposite sex (or sometimes even two pictures of the same person, with some minute difference) and are asked to rank them based on appearance? That's something that I literally cannot do. If I have no familiarity with a person I am utterly unable to make any sort of judgment on their appearance or attractiveness. Even with the familiarity, it's often quite hard for me.

Some people will say that this particular hangup is not really something familiar to every person on the demi- spectrum, and they're right, it probably isn't. However, I do think demi- people are a lot more likely to be this way.

You do know that as a man if you dont masturbate for a long time... it will end up soiling your pajamas at night... which will be more icky... ??

As someone that periodically experienced these sorts of dreams despite not experiencing anything resembling libido for the majority of his life, I have to say that masturbation does not necessarily get rid of these :/

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Ehhh Nevermind. Not my place to ask such a question.

EDIT: I have been answering questions on that site and I hate how if you don't like drugs, sex, and alcohol they label you conservative. I am almost as leftwing as they come...but according to their assessment of my personality they say I am conservative.

Wholesome? Yes.

Old-fashioned? Probably.

Conservative? No way in hell.

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Just because someone has a libido (ie healthy hormone levels) and masturbates to deal with arousal (often it's hard to get rid of otherwise) doesn't actually mean they are self sexual at all, which is why I disagree with these tests.

These tests are based on a (total) misunderstanding of what self sexual means. Self sexual means sexually attracted to yourself (ie you get turned on by yourself and can't stop thinking about having sex with yourself etc).

Masturbating to get rid of arousal which happens just because you have healthy hormone levels does not make you sexually attracted to yourself (lol) it's no different than urinating. Just a bodily function. So yeah, no point in taking a test which they creators of clearly haven't done any proper research for regarding the results.

And before anyone says "masturbation and getting aroused are sexual" that would mean that all asexuality is is a lack of libido (unhealthy hormone levels) which is a medical condition that can be treated.. meaning all asexuality is, is a treatable medical condition.

No, asexuals can have hormone levels just as healthy as sexual people (healthier even sometimes!) which means yes, they get arousal and sometimes need to get rid of arousal (a guy shouldn't have to walk around with an erection or a female with wet underwear) that does not make them self sexual in *any* way.

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If we're talking about stupid brackets I think demisexual is another term that I consider to be very vague n not necessary. Ofcourse everybody has sex with those they have some sort of bond with... even pornstars.

This isn't really what demi- means, though. It essentially means they *can't* experience attraction toward people they don't even know, which is definitely *very* different from a good chunk of the population that is able to experience and measure attractiveness of others, even total strangers, far more easily -- often at a mere glance.

You know those tests/experiments where you get shown 5 random people of the opposite sex (or sometimes even two pictures of the same person, with some minute difference) and are asked to rank them based on appearance? That's something that I literally cannot do. If I have no familiarity with a person I am utterly unable to make any sort of judgment on their appearance or attractiveness. Even with the familiarity, it's often quite hard for me.

Some people will say that this particular hangup is not really something familiar to every person on the demi- spectrum, and they're right, it probably isn't. However, I do think demi- people are a lot more likely to be this way.

You do know that as a man if you dont masturbate for a long time... it will end up soiling your pajamas at night... which will be more icky... ??

As someone that periodically experienced these sorts of dreams despite not experiencing anything resembling libido for the majority of his life, I have to say that masturbation does not necessarily get rid of these :/

Not being able to judge the appearance of others is a lack of aesthetic and/or physical attraction, it has *absolutely* nothing to do with sexual attraction or asexuality.

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Not being able to judge the appearance of others is a lack of aesthetic and/or physical attraction, it has *absolutely* nothing to do with sexual attraction or asexuality.

I wasn't talking specifically about demisexuality, though, that's why I was saying demi- as a placeholder

And like I said, even if that's not what every demi- experiences, I'm sure it's far more common for them.

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verily-forsooth-egads

I'm not making an account just to get told something I already know. ESPECIALLY when on the first page of settings, the orientation options are "I'm interested in men/women/everyone", and after tonnes of gender options it STILL makes you choose male or female, and there's no option for "no, fuck off."

I'm just so curious, though. Question after question I answered "no, I don't want sex or masturbate" in every possible variation, and I just can't decide what my result would be likely to be: Am I asexual, asexual, super mega asexual, or emperor of the cake nuns? Or maybe even asexual?

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A bunch of musings

1) If you're asexual and masturbate, there's a high probability the test will sort you into 'self-sexual'.

2) I disagree that self-sexual = attraction to oneself. I've always taken it to mean that all your sexual needs can be satisfied without another person.

3) I don't know why it's of any value to make a distinction between an asexual who says they masturbate to get rid of arousal, and one who claims to do it because it's pleasurable. I mean who cares? It seems pointless to create a divide between those who enjoy masturbation and those who don't. Note these two groups exist within the subset of sexuals as well.

4) Off-topic, but I really like the distinction between being politically conservative and having a conservative personality. I use this distinction all the time. Note that someone who has a conservative personality tends to be someone who is risk-averse, deliberate, and values comfort and security highly. I often describe my mom as conservative even though she leans left politically.

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Just because someone has a libido (ie healthy hormone levels) and masturbates to deal with arousal (often it's hard to get rid of otherwise) doesn't actually mean they are self sexual at all, which is why I disagree with these tests.

These tests are based on a (total) misunderstanding of what self sexual means. Self sexual means sexually attracted to yourself (ie you get turned on by yourself and can't stop thinking about having sex with yourself etc).

Masturbating to get rid of arousal which happens just because you have healthy hormone levels does not make you sexually attracted to yourself (lol) it's no different than urinating. Just a bodily function. So yeah, no point in taking a test which they creators of clearly haven't done any proper research for regarding the results.

And before anyone says "masturbation and getting aroused are sexual" that would mean that all asexuality is is a lack of libido (unhealthy hormone levels) which is a medical condition that can be treated.. meaning all asexuality is, is a treatable medical condition.

No, asexuals can have hormone levels just as healthy as sexual people (healthier even sometimes!) which means yes, they get arousal and sometimes need to get rid of arousal (a guy shouldn't have to walk around with an erection or a female with wet underwear) that does not make them self sexual in *any* way.

Thanks for the answer. Just needed your opinion on this:-

What would you call someone who masturbates daily (almost mandatory... as if its a process that they have to go through... probably OCD) but when they keep their eyes shut... they just cant imagine anyone loving them. And when they are in real life they sheepishly look at women... with a downtrodden attitude they just keep walking... knowing that they cant afford (either financially or otherwise) to be in a relationship... would you consider it deliberate? Celibacy?

Low self esteem? Such severe case?

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4) Off-topic, but I really like the distinction between being politically conservative and having a conservative personality. I use this distinction all the time. Note that someone who has a conservative personality tends to be someone who is risk-averse, deliberate, and values comfort and security highly. I often describe my mom as conservative even though she leans left politically.

Yup.... there are many drug addicted rockstars who might be politically conservative republicans or even old school in lifestyle.

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2) I disagree that self-sexual = attraction to oneself. I've always taken it to mean that all your sexual needs can be satisfied without another person.

Self-Sexual

You make sex yours!

You may not hear this one very often, but it's an interesting branch of asexuality.

It looks like you quite enjoy sex...with yourself. This is by no means a bad thing, though. You know what turns you on and you don't need help from anyone. You may be an asexual fetishist, demisexual, asexual, romantic-asexual, or aromantic asexual, but either way, you make the walls shake with your solo acts.

You do not feel the need to have sex with another person. You most likely feel no sexual attraction at all for other people. You probably feel a much stronger sexual attraction toward erotica, images, art, stories, hentai, and your very own creative sexy mind. Your sex is not to be shared and you feel annoyed, uncomfortable, or apathetic when someone barges in on your parade.

Sex is a big part of your life, but not when it's intercourse with another person. You are independent, intelligent, and know what's needed to get the job done.

That's what the quiz defines as self-sexual (and pretty much, anyone who answers yes to the masturbation questions gets self-sexual as a result, lol how ridiculous) But I have met actual ''self-sexuals'' on FetLife (and they in no way class themselves as asexual) and they are just most turned on by themselves. Like they find themselves sexually arousing, masturbate to pictures of themselves naked, film themselves masturbating to watch it after and things like that. They do have sex with others, but just don't find anyone else as sexually appealing as themselves. Some like to look in mirrors while having sex with someone else, so they can see themselves. That, personally, is much more how I would define self-sexuality. Even without the sex with others, to me that is still very clearly ''preferring sex with yourself because you are so sexually attracted to yourself'' as opposed to ''being someone who gets horny and masturbates, even if they have no interest in having sex with other people'' ..The first, definitely self sexual. The second, just an asexual with a libido (regardless of whether or not they find masturbation pleasurable or just do it to get rid of arousal)

(and I can't seem to be able to ''un''bold this, which is weird)

Thanks for the answer. Just needed your opinion on this:-

What would you call someone who masturbates daily (almost mandatory... as if its a process that they have to go through... probably OCD) but when they keep their eyes shut... they just cant imagine anyone loving them. And when they are in real life they sheepishly look at women... with a downtrodden attitude they just keep walking... knowing that they cant afford (either financially or otherwise) to be in a relationship... would you consider it deliberate? Celibacy?

Low self esteem? Such severe case?

TMI

Well I masturbate daily, sometimes multiple times daily, but I wouldn't say that's an OCD thing for me, I just literally have an extremely annoying libido and cannot get rid of arousal without having an orgasm. Arousal is super annoying, so masturbation is sadly the only option even though it's boring and annoying. I don't imagine anyone loving me when I masturbate, though I'm not entirely sure if that's what you were asking.. I personally imagine people that I am romantically attracted to in taboo sexual situations with other people (which is weird because I am completely monogamous aha) I can't orgasm when I put myself in the picture :P

Also, I never even talk to men in real life, and do make every effort to look away from them, because I know for a fact I am not capable of being in a relationship with any man I would ever come across in ''real life'' ...I have someone I am intimately close with online however (he is an asexual) and that works fine for me :)

So, I would say that depending on multiple other factors, the person you described could still be grey asexual or asexual, IF they literally have no interest in having sex with other people. However, if they do want sex with other people, and would have sex with others if they could (ie, they met someone who liked them and they like back) but just for whatever reason cannot have sex (too shy, on one likes them, can't get a relationship, whatever) then that is celibacy, not asexuality. Though it's not celibacy by choice, it's kind of, forced celibacy. The person doesn't want to be celibate but is currently stuck with it. That's my answer, though it possibly didn't help clarify anything for you.

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Low self esteem? Such severe case?

TMI

Well I masturbate daily, sometimes multiple times daily, but I wouldn't say that's an OCD thing for me, I just literally have an extremely annoying libido and cannot get rid of arousal without having an orgasm. Arousal is super annoying, so masturbation is sadly the only option even though it's boring and annoying. I don't imagine anyone loving me when I masturbate, though I'm not entirely sure if that's what you were asking.. I personally imagine people that I am romantically attracted to in taboo sexual situations with other people (which is weird because I am completely monogamous aha) I can't orgasm when I put myself in the picture :P

Also, I never even talk to men in real life, and do make every effort to look away from them, because I know for a fact I am not capable of being in a relationship with any man I would ever come across in ''real life'' ...I have someone I am intimately close with online however (he is an asexual) and that works fine for me :)

So, I would say that depending on multiple other factors, the person you described could still be grey asexual or asexual, IF they literally have no interest in having sex with other people. However, if they do want sex with other people, and would have sex with others if they could (ie, they met someone who liked them and they like back) but just for whatever reason cannot have sex (too shy, on one likes them, can't get a relationship, whatever) then that is celibacy, not asexuality. Though it's not celibacy by choice, it's kind of, forced celibacy. The person doesn't want to be celibate but is currently stuck with it. That's my answer, though it possibly didn't help clarify anything for you.

That works. Thanks. Its not TMI since we're strangers and its the internet... so its good to talk about such stuff.

Dont know how to define 'arousal'. When sitting at home in the evening everyday... my libido isnt so Hugh Hefner that I see something or fantasize that gives me an arousal... and since its awkward I have to masturbate.

Its almost like daily cleaning. If I dont do it I get cranky after a few days. Have you seen the Seinfeld episode "The Contest"? Thats what happens to me. Although... it will be a cool experiment to not do it for many days... and see if that hunger makes me 'act out' n talk to a chick.

Plus its been so many years of watching porn all the time n getting the poison out... its almost like brushing teeth in the morning... it has to happen.

BTW by masturbation I meant looking at porno. A lot of them are conditioned to the point that they cant even imagine with their eyes closed.

Do you chat with that other person intimately coz you know that he's a stranger and cant be around you in your real life? Would you meet someone in person or be 'just friends' with them in real life... but would not mind intimate chats with them online?

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That works. Thanks. Its not TMI since we're strangers and its the internet... so its good to talk about such stuff.

Dont know how to define 'arousal'. When sitting at home in the evening everyday... my libido isnt so Hugh Hefner that I see something or fantasize that gives me an arousal... and since its awkward I have to masturbate.

Its almost like daily cleaning. If I dont do it I get cranky after a few days. Have you seen the Seinfeld episode "The Contest"? Thats what happens to me. Although... it will be a cool experiment to not do it for many days... and see if that hunger makes me 'act out' n talk to a chick.

Plus its been so many years of watching porn all the time n getting the poison out... its almost like brushing teeth in the morning... it has to happen.

BTW by masturbation I meant looking at porno. A lot of them are conditioned to the point that they cant even imagine with their eyes closed.

Do you chat with that other person intimately coz you know that he's a stranger and cant be around you in your real life? Would you meet someone in person or be 'just friends' with them in real life... but would not mind intimate chats with them online?

I always put TMI if I am going to talk about masturbation, because some people reading here are repulsed so (hopefully) look away as soon as they see those dreaded three letters :P

My libido is just mental haha. Like, it just ''acts up'' when I am doing the dishes or whatever, and I get ''aroused'' (aching, wetness etc, for a guy it would be an erection) and I just have to get rid of it or I get tensed, agitated etc, and yeah, it's super annoying. I can't masturbate to porn personally, because it never hits the right buttons for me haha.. I much rather just use my mind :P I totally understand what you're saying though, some people are so conditioned to porn that they can't use their imagination when they masturbate.

I'll put this last bit in a spoiler, as it's not entirely relevant to the topic, so just you can read the answer (or anyone else who happens to be interested haha)

The situation with him is super complicated actually, but suffice to say we have been best friends for over two years now but have never met in person (as we live on different hemispheres sadly) but I love him and trust him enough that I would be open to intimacy with him when we meet (which will be as soon as we can afford it) though that wouldn't be sex as we are both asexual. However, if it turned out we were both too awkward to ''do anything'' when we meet in person, I would also be perfectly happy to keep it completely platonic ^_^

I would not be open to that with any man I met in ''real life'' because, well lets face it, unless they are asexual, they desire sex, which I won't give. And also, it would take me forever to get to know someone as well as I know my friend (we have spent at least a few hours, up to like 12 hours, a day, almost every day, talking through text, for almost two years - minus a few months where we had a small falling out heh).. I just can't be bothered spending that amount of time to get to know anyone else :P haha

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Another thing about the test, I am actually hardcore ace-fet, and I notice ace-fet is actually a result you can get (based on the graphs underneath the quiz) but there were hardly any fetish questions at all :o .. I usually score within the 90% hardcore fet range on sexual fetish quizzes, but didn't even come in the ballpark on this one aha (wow, that sounds really kinky now that I read it back to myself, public masturbation anyone? haha). I wish there were more asexuality quizzes, with higher accuracy ratings and more research etc put into them, they would be so fun to take. I always just end up annoyed at the ones I've taken (because for the love of god, I am not self-sexual as they all like to say I am haha)

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uhhh.... I dont think that seems right

EO0NZRL.png

I mean, I dont think im asexual, but there werent any "middle ground" answers. it was all either you had sex or you fear it... I never had sex so I wasnt sure what to put...

I dont mind the idea of sex, but I would rather do it only with someone I trust and am close to.

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scarletlatitude

I already know I'm self-sexual. It's one of the only way that I am sexual at all. :P And probably the only think keeping me from identifying as full on asexual.

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apparently im asexual by that quiz but there wasn't enough variety in the answers it was very much 0/100 :P

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Sort of on topic. I thought it would be cool to have an asexual platonic okcupid account. But in the last 8 years they have changed so much that I don't think it's possible to have platonic connections there anymore. Now you have to answer these questions about what sort of romantic partner you're looking for. They used to be religion and politics and stuff. Now it's all romance and platonic is no option. Boo.

And.. As if that weren't chumpy enough I still score all 0% everything on the asexual quiz. I don't think it's possible for a human to be that asexual. I think my toaster oven is less asexual than that. Damned loading errors.

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